中午時分,蕭可媛推開了病房的門。顧南回過頭看見她,微微點頭打了招呼,蕭可媛一愣,手指門外,用嘴型無聲的說道:「可以出來一下嗎?」406Please respect copyright.PENANAcmHcIp8xq4
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顧南看了一眼仍在沉睡中的林悅,點點頭,輕手輕腳地離開了病房。406Please respect copyright.PENANACSyp45ufqM
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顧南和蕭可媛並排坐在病房外的椅子上。406Please respect copyright.PENANAFTVEJyU8Ei
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「……你跟悅悅聊過了?」406Please respect copyright.PENANAbj6A2Bf0wp
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「嗯。」406Please respect copyright.PENANAy5Oxxhu06D
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「她還是不願意動手術嗎?」406Please respect copyright.PENANAt70Cy6GsVM
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顧南沒有回答,低下頭默認了。406Please respect copyright.PENANABq3Bui3FNF
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兩人在壓抑的氣氛中沉默良久,好像有千萬句話想說、想問,但是誰都不知道怎麼先開口,只能雙雙低著頭沉默。蕭可媛哭腫的眼睛每眨一下,就重複刺痛一次,她卻不知疲倦的用力閉眼,好像在用這種方式在發洩心裡的不甘。406Please respect copyright.PENANALNRYhJaGdD
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「你認識悅悅多久了?」蕭可媛輕聲問道。406Please respect copyright.PENANAB3XoNTRLgy
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「半年……啊,不對,一年多前就見過了。」顧南試著回憶道,他每次回想林悅蹲在大雨裡的樣子,心臟都會產生很強的酸澀感。如果照林悅說的,他第一次見到她的那天,就是她確診的日子。406Please respect copyright.PENANA1pqngIujvU
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很無助,很辛苦,胸腔滾燙,身體發冷。406Please respect copyright.PENANAORgWKp7Buw
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「我也差不多……半年,她像是我生命裡的一個驚喜,和她待在一起的所有時光都是美好的,好像感覺不到時間的流逝,很舒服、很安心。我喜歡養狗,因為狗狗有活力、黏人,能讓我產生被依賴的感覺,可是悅悅像貓,她慵懶、平靜,不動聲色的包容我所有脾氣跟躁動,更多時候我覺得她像花一樣,安靜的盛開,隨時都有一種要凋零的感覺。」蕭可媛不知不覺說了很多,越是仔細回想林悅對她笑的樣子,越是對她放不下。406Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6nhZ6pgLk
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「……我不能想像她離開我。」蕭可媛咬著下唇,喉間的苦澀愈發明顯。406Please respect copyright.PENANAprkTDDB8OO
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「我也不能。」顧南深吸一口氣,抬頭看著空氣中的某一點,淡聲問道:「你知道意識到一個人死去,再也見不到對方的那一刻,是什麼感覺嗎?」406Please respect copyright.PENANAnXoQWJ7U4U
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蕭可媛皺眉望向顧南。406Please respect copyright.PENANAYR2yOYhfsG
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「當我意識到她已經死了,永遠離開我,永遠見不到她的時候,我下意識地去回想她的臉,可是怎麼想都很模糊,明明再熟悉不過了,見過千萬次的那張臉,可是就是突然想不起來她五官具體的樣子了。想不起來……」母親死去的那段時間裡,顧南無數次嘗試在腦海裡描摹母親的臉,可是從未成功。406Please respect copyright.PENANAJPJIXNt3Ty
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蕭可媛臉上露出了驚愕的表情,她從未思考過這種事,也沒有辦法想像。在別人心上占據了那麼大一塊位置,怎麼能隨隨便便離開?406Please respect copyright.PENANA4ur79mg5gz
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「……你也不想要她走,不是嗎?」蕭可媛顫聲問道。406Please respect copyright.PENANASXIm1rZzVS
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「……嗯。」顧南眉間黯淡了下來,唇角溢出一絲苦笑。406Please respect copyright.PENANAI5xAUqBA73
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「那你就幫我一起阻止她!她還那麼小,她根本不懂自己現在的選擇會害了自己……她現在這樣跟自殺沒兩樣,你知道嗎?」蕭可媛情緒激動的提高了聲調,眼眶又充斥著熱意與濕意。406Please respect copyright.PENANAwTLPTOBxoh
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顧南痛苦而無力的仰起頭,用手掌壓著後頸,哽咽著說道:「我也不想要她離開我,但我也不忍心她留下來,我甚至想過跟她一起離開……因為我找不到辦法讓她真正的開心起來……」406Please respect copyright.PENANAZoOqBE4H03
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蕭可媛怔住了。406Please respect copyright.PENANA0xe5w1PiLS
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「……找不到辦法……死掉就是你們的辦法嗎?!」蕭可媛憤怒的從長椅上站起,臉上堆滿了不可置信,哀痛地大吼道:「這是最自私!最幼稚!最爛的辦法!」406Please respect copyright.PENANAuzOSTGI1iA
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林悅其實早已醒來,她站在病房內,靠在薄薄的門板上,將蕭可媛和顧南的對話,一字不落的聽了進去。她倚靠著門板跪坐在地上,摀著嘴,隱密而瘋狂的抽泣,心臟深處傳來了巨大的轟鳴聲,像要將她的靈魂震盪至碎裂,碎得不能再碎。406Please respect copyright.PENANALwt48QiKub
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你有沒有想過?406Please respect copyright.PENANAzHrNf2DgMN
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下雨的時候,你會希望有人為你撐傘,還是陪你一起淋雨?406Please respect copyright.PENANA4BnBi7yVxs
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瀕臨死亡之際,你會希望有人將你救活,還是陪你一同死去?406Please respect copyright.PENANAEI5FFRcu8A
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沒有其他辦法了,是嗎?