X
(unedited.)
"Emily," was all she could say.
"What about Emily?"
Carmen was so occupied with the image of her own daughter that she didn't realize that Abby had asked her a question until she spoke again as she stood up.
"Did something happen to Emily when she fell? Did she get hurt?"
Carmen shook her head as she held onto her arm and pulled her back slightly, causing her to sit back down as she turned to look at her.
"She's fine, nothing happened," Carmen reassured her. Abby nodded her head but the worried expression on her face remained.
"If she's okay, why did you say her name like that?"
She looked at Abby's face for several moments, contemplating on whether or not she should tell her. After all, they were best friends and she was already keeping too many things from her. She took in a deep breath before saying,
"My daughter with Taylor, her name is also Emily."
"Oh," was all Abby could say.
Carmen felt slightly disappointed in her reaction or lack thereof.
"Where is she? Is she not with you?"
Carmen shook her head before saying,
"I left her with Taylor."
"Have you seen him since you came back?" Abby asked after several moments of silence. Carmen felt a sudden tightness in her chest as she heard her question. She had no idea how she would feel about seeing him again, especially after the way she abandoned him and left him with a baby.
She slowly shook her head.
"Are you going to meet with him?"
Carmen bit her lip as she looked away from Abby.
"I don't know if I can," she told her.
"What do you mean? You have a daughter together, why can't you see him?"
Carmen released a sigh as she replied,
"It's complicated."
She turned to face Abby and saw her looking at her with a confused expression. Unable to form the words to answer the question she hadn't asked yet, she showed her the engagement ring on her finger.
"Did you get married--"
"I'm engaged."
Abby opened her mouth to speak but she stopped her by saying, "to James."
"Oh," was her reply once again.
"I don't know how things got so complicated," Carmen told her, placing her face in her hands.
She had been so caught up in living in the moment that she didn't realize how much that had complicated things until she was speaking to someone about everything.
"I'm such a terrible person," she whispered, not expecting Abby to hear. But as Abby heard it, she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in for a tight hug.
After several moments of silence, Abby said to her,
"You're not a terrible person. Everyone deserves to live the life that they want. But at the same time, it's not fair for you not to see him or at least your daughter while you're here. You can't deprive her of knowing her mother forever."
---
Later that evening, she was sitting on her bed as Abby's words ran through her mind over and over.
As much as she didn't want to admit it, Abby had a point. It wasn't Emily's fault that she had left; her reasons for leaving had nothing to do with her daughter or even Taylor. She was just tired to living the same day over and over again, not going out or getting the chance to do things that she wanted.
She felt her phone vibrate from where it lay beside her and she picked it up to find a text from James.
I miss you so much. Do you think we can meet tonight? Even if it's for a few minutes, I just want to see you.
She felt the corner of her lips turn into a smile as she read the message, a warm feeling surrounding her heart. And in that split second, she allowed herself to forget about how complicated her life was.
But just as quickly as she had forgotten it, she was reminded of everything when she received a text from Abby.
I don't know how you're feeling now, Carm but you should at least send a message to him to see how they're doing.
She stared at the screen for several moments before she opened her contacts and tapped on his name. She took in a deep breath as she looked down at the number on the screen, her heart beating so fast that she was afraid it would jump out.
She took another deep breath before typing a message:
Hi Taylor. It's Carmen. How are you? And Emily?
She felt herself releasing the breath as she hit send and immediately, she was filled with regret.
But before she could allow herself to regret it even more, the sound of the doorbell filled the house.
And a few moments later, she walked downstairs as her mother called for her.
"What's wrong mom?" she asked as she saw her mother at the doorway.
And as soon as she noticed the person standing outside, she felt her body freeze.
"James."
ns 15.158.61.20da2
