Dear future boyfriend of my beloved sister,
Let me tell you something bluntly, I am her best friend not her sister by blood, but my opinion matters more than yours ever will. As soon as you shook my hand and said your name I have already thought of 12 ways of murdering you. That's right 12, which some could be quick and easy some of those thoughts can last a very long time, it just depends on you. Although I smiled at you and gave you light hearted conversation, DO NOT think I like you, because I don't. But as her sister I am giving you 90 days, 90 days to prove not only to her, but to me that you are worthy of my beautiful, sweet and extremely shy sister. She's adorable, and beautiful do you think I don't know that?
You can't really be that stupid. . . if you are I already have a strike against you. She deserves someone, smart, funny, equally as caring if not more then she is. She deserves everything in the world, she has been through a lot and I don't need you screwing her up. Which brings me to my next item, remember when I said I have 12 ways of murdering you? OF COURSE you do, I am not joking, I know quite a few people, (cops included) that I could easily get away with it. I can kill you in a blink of an eye and make it look like an accident, oh whoops are you choking and no one is around to save you. . .. awww to bad.
But I will make a promise to you, if you hurt her in any way shape or form I will make your precious life a living hell, a hell so sadistic that you will wish you were never born. The pain you make her feel will be quadruple the amount for you and that is a promise. I love my sister and if you are true of heart you will too. I am asking you to be the man she thinks you are, not like the men that I have had break my heart in the past. I know how men think, I know their intentions and I hope that you can prove me wrong.
I am not trying to be a bitch, I AM one and a psychotic one at that. I can intimidate most people by just glaring at them, I warn you now do not piss me off. I really don't want to waste my time or her time bothering with your disappearance. That's right DISAPPEARANCE, I can and will kill you if you make her cry, I implore you do not make a mistake, you know what you are getting yourself into. If you make her cry I will make sure to skin you alive and make a throw rug out of your flesh. Then I will bury you alive in my yard. But anywho, I am glad you took the time to read this, if you show and tell her this I will really have a good reason not to like you. DO NOT MESS WITH ME OR HER.
Sincerely her loving sister,
Kayden
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