"Daddy," Sammie asked, looking up from the coloring pages her two older siblings mocked her for and to the couch her father sat on, as if a thought just occurred to her.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzS7Ar2cOJ
"Yes, Sammie?" Her father said, tearing his eyes from a (what Sammie considered terribly boring) book, looking above the tips of his reading glasses to look at her.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBEvGKzH9X
"Where did you and Mommy meet?" Sammie tapped the crayon across her brow and clicked her feet together as she lay on the ground.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYDONr3Ier
Her youngest brother, Thaddeus, whipped his head to his father from the other side of the living room. His computer game would have to wait. For he wished to know the story for many years passed.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3REb9t5uD
Jordie, the oldest (and most stuck up, according to Thaddeus) brother smiled to himself quietly and pushed his glasses higher up his nose like a professional anime character. Oh yes, he knew the story. He'd just been biding his time and patiently waiting for his little sister to ask the Golden Question. According to him, it was he that planted the idea in little Sammie's head... but that was a story for another time- a story much less important than the one his father was ready to tell by the look on his face.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsrO3fJUO8
Their mother walked in as if she too was counting down the minutes until the question was asked. Jordie's smile reflected on her own face. She sat elegantly next to her husband and placed her hand on his knee.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYnx72kBjr
The tension in the room rose when many seconds went by and the children started to become impatient. Except for Jordie, who still was doing that anime thing. He deserves an Oscar for that performance, seriously. He was still doing it. His mouth must be sore. But Jordie knew it wasn't. He had been working out his mouth for years now, waiting and preparing for this precise moment. Now was his moment. Now was his time to shine! Except for the fact that no one was even looking at him... but that didn't seem to bother him.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz95Y2Qj6US
As the tension grew- "Well?" Thaddeus demanded impatiently, ruining the moment for everyone else, especially Jordie who definitely had his creepy anime smile down. "How'd you guys freaking meet already?" For he knew that he was just a character for some stupid story for a competition of a writing sight for nerds that he never heard about. FOR HE KNEW THAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP IT PG! Also, his parents were right there.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu5FJ8PnVj
"Well," his father began, really dragging out the cinematic moment as he drew out a long, exasperated sigh, "It all started sixteen years ago today."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nrmHX3Db7
"Well that was f***ing convenient," Sammie said, forgetting to keep it PG and shocking everyone in the room... except Jordie, who was still doing that stupid anime glasses smile thingy.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEybnxMNGC
"Indeed," her mother said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUITzUU4rxw
"Also, you're grounded after this," the father said, still somehow remaining looking and sounding dramatic as he looked dramatically out the window.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPB5Qo6s02
"Indeed," his wife said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC1cVMUfKd
"Well," the father began his story, "Your mother and I were ready to settle down." Sammie could tell he was about to start to drone on, and she regretted asking him in the first place. "But one night we just said frick it," he winked to an imaginary camera like he was in The Office, "and both went to a bar."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXM0YaIY64
Sammie gasped.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvYB0fILT5
Thaddeus looked disappointed.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor79JTHdYr
Jordie smiled creepily.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXwgX78LB3
"What?" Their father said, "Adultery is boring you know."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6angaBnuCn
"Indeed," his wife said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbuYtnaGhb
"Uhh, dad," Thaddeus said, "I'm pretty sure that's not what Adultery means."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjZoIaXN6Z
"Nonsense," his father said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46c8FBI45i
"Indeed," his wife said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG06xkHUis
Jordie smiled creepily.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMejjds1y08
"Okay, whatever," Thaddeus said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUi9KXKlfa
"Then we got very- very drunk." Their father laughed.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPVe8l6DQz
"INDEED," his wife said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58ASnc240A
"We thought it would be funny to be criminals. That's how drunk we were." The children wondered if they were supposed to laugh, expect for Jordie, who still smiled creepily.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKX33ztUlse
He continued, "So we did. We killed the bartender and stole all the money in the cash register."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8xuerEclM
"Wow... um okay. Very funny dad," Thaddeus said, noticing the scarred expression on Sammie's face.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2wJSEkTyh
"I'm not joking," his father said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuymxPM1gm
"Indeed," his wife said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwLXCZFUi7
Jordie smiled creepily, for this was his favorite part.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsalEoOW70M
"We soon realized this is what God made us for on his good Earth," the father said. Sammie and Thaddeus blinked repeatedly. Jordie smiled creepily.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kki8Fem1n
He went on dramatically, "They sent a few cops to stop us. HA! As if that could stop us. We were uncontrollable. We fell in love right there."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGt12zPv7R
"Okay, dad. That's cool. I think I'm satisfied now-" Thaddeus said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbXGe2ZRcx
"I'm not done," he smiled almost as creepily as Jordie. "In fact, I'm only getting started." Jordie smiled.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlKDk3xbxC
"Oh great." Thaddeus sighed.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuUvlmq9lo
"Indeed," his mother said happily. Thaddeus wondered how he never noticed his mother's limited vocabulary.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziXJ5etMoA
"They sent SWAT after us, but we were always one step ahead. We set up landmines around for miles." Jordie smiled. His father still went on: "We killed hundreds that day. No day after was ever like that. For a whole year, we went on like this, pillaging and murdering. It was beautiful. And bloody, very bloody."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlTqMZCTrI
"Indeed," his wife said.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolMPM3FqLC
"Finally, we were captured and brought to justice." He laughed, "Funny that they thought they could hold us. We killed all the guards and inmates and got out. And after living life to the fullest for another year or so, we settled down, and had all of you." He sighed and smiled.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY1iglMJtz
"HAH!" Thaddeus said, "I was waiting for you to admit it! Consider this your final bringing to JUSTICE! You think that I was just another, innocent, child? HAH! No. I was just biding my time! Waiting! Watching! You think Sammie asked you of her own accord? Of course not! Jordie actually planted that idea inside her head(Jordie smiled wider)! But guess who planted that idea inside of his head? (Jordie's smile finally vanished) You're all idiots! I was waiting for this moment for six years! Ever since the FBI recruited me into their forces when I was only three years old! I played my cards well, didn't I, father?" He ripped off a mask. He looked- exactly the same. His parents gasped. Jordie did, too, but he didn't know why.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdmN9wQseW
"That's right, who could've guessed that the SWAT captain you thought you killed would actually be your son using a time machine! The one you named me after! Thaddeus! HAHA, that's right! You thought you were always ahead, but no! I was always ahead! I've been ahead sixteen years ago! I was there that night at the bar! I was listening! I was always listening! I've been listening all my childhood life! You think I've always been listening to music and you could talk about your crimes because you thought I couldn't hear? NO! The pair you bought me four years ago doesn't even work anymore! I DON'T EVEN LIKE PUNK ROCK ANYMORE!"901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEOxrKDuy9
Gasps around the room.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QHLUe1f9V
He continued, "Goodbye mother, father."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8n4hMAsEo
"Indeed," her voice was deathly quiet."901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwt3Zs66XYL
"See you in hell, Mother f***ers!" Thaddeus said, forgetting that it was supposed to be PG. He pulled out a gun and killed his parents.901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOE0UBvqy0
The End
Why in the living hell did I write this?901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEng6rcSoDd
Based off a true story901Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Jupt1BLu4
