I held onto my phone when I opened my eyes next morning. Last night, I was waiting for him to text me. I didn’t want to be the one first to text, I didn’t want look desperate.
I wanted to see that H had texted me, or gave me a call. I held back tears when I saw no messages from him, just my mother. She was saying good morning, call me, I love you . . . the normal stuff.
When I saw Debbie wasn’t in the dorm, I rang my mother up. After two rings, she picked up. She always did that. “Hi sweetheart, how are you?”
“Good mom, I miss you.”
“I miss you too sugar plum. It’s quiet here.”
“Wasn’t I quiet when I lived at home?” I joked.
She thought about it for a second, and I could tell she knew I was right. “Okay, I miss seeing you around here. It feels lonely.”
“I know mom.”
“You can come back whenever,” she said, half joking, half really pushing me home.
“I know mom,” I laughed. I debated about telling her what happened last night. I rather not get into the conversion about boys, not when she just dropped me off at college just a few days ago.
“Are you liking your classes so far?”
“Yeah, they’re interesting.”
“Which one do you like so far?”
“I’ve only had two classes, but I am going to my biology class today, I’m excited.”
“Oh, I know you are,” she said. “I’m glad you are happy.”
I thought about it, I had to think if I really was happy. I wasn’t sure if I really was.
“Me too,” I lied. “I have to get ready for the day, I love you.”
“I love you too sugar plum, call me more,” she said, hanging up the phone. After that, I got up and rolled out of bed and to the showers. I opted for sweats and a t-shirt for the day, seeing that no one else really dressed up or anything.
Throughout the day, I didn’t listen to a lick of what the teachers were telling us. I could care less about the lecture that we dove into, about the work a head of us. All I could think about was H, and how I wished he would have said something to me.
Never have I ever been like this.
For the longest time, I didn’t know if I even liked boys or girls. I thought maybe I was asexual.
Towards the end of the night, I returned to my dorm and went over my textbooks and what was talked about in class. Every three seconds however, I kept looking at my phone, to see if he had texted back.
He didn’t.
I debated to text him first, but I was too scared. My stomach would drop at the thought of doing that.
So in the end, I just stay at my desk, and wrote out notes, and tried to focus on myself. That was the healthier thing to do rather than just obsessing over someone that I barley knew. But something he said last night.
“I’m very drawn to you, and I don’t know why.”
The way he had said that, it was like he was reading my mind. Something about him made me want to be around him. But I didn’t even know his last name! I didn’t know anything about him. He was a hard man to read, but for some reason he wanted to be around me.
Maybe he was crazy.
Maybe he escaped from the insane place.
Or prison.
That would be my luck.
I sighed as I came to realize there was no way of getting around it. I laid in bed, staring at the client. Follow, I dozed off, and went to sleep.
Though, even in my dreams, I was still thinking of him. I was in a long dress made up of only flowers. But I was in a dark and hollow place, with little light. Almost as if I was underground. There were what felt like millions of tunnels in front of me.
I choose one and went with it.
Picking up the bottom of the dress, I picked one tunnel and followed through with it. There was a light at the end that I could see. Even though they tell us not to go to the light, I do it anyways.
When I get to the end, there is a huge throne room. It was covered in art work, head to toe. Above me, I could feel the sunlight shining down on us.
“Little girl,” his voice said. I turned to him, and he was standing by his throne, dressed like a king. “What are you doing here?” he asked, with a very large smile.
“H?” I said, looking his him. He worn a crown made of thrones, dark colored clothes that covered him like the night sky. “I don’t know . . . this is just a dream, right?”
He made his way towards me, standing just inches from me. “You need to go back to your world,” he said. “Open your eyes.”
As he spoke, he started to lean into my face, his lips barely touching mine. He was so close to my lips, but then my eyes opened.
I was patting hard. I wasn’t sure what just happened. It was morning, so I started to get ready for the day, knowing I couldn’t get back to sleep.
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