I always believed that I was a lunatic. An outcast, an underdog, a retarded poor girl. I believed them because that was the only thing that I had ever heard. Insults. I couldn't take it anymore. Wait...no...I COULD take it...I just didn't want to anymore. No more pretending to be fine just to go home to reality ... the truth. Be strong in the day only to be broken down at night. I had been beaten for being different. And when it wasn't other beating me down it was I who was doing the harm. I used to lock myself up in a dark room, bloodstained razors littering the floor. I just wanted it to end. For all the pain that I had built up over the years to just...vanish. To enter whatever darkness lay after death. Anything was better than this life. Right? I was so close to the end but I never did die. Because at that moment a blissful light blinded me and the most beautiful angel descended from the heavens above and appeared before me. You told me that I had much more to live for. That everything I had been told had just been a description of the person themselves. I was just being used as a mirror for their pain and anguish. And you, the angel, stayed by my side day and night. Up and downs. You were there the day my sisters had been born. For my brothers third birthday. You were there when I needed help outside and inside of school. When my parents grew ill. When our pet weasel Slinky went missing. When my mother got sick with pneumonia. When my father broke his leg and lost his job. When we were on the verge of being homeless. You were always there. We made so many beautiful memories together. Like that time we went on that superb hiking trip. You ripped your favorite blue jacket so I gave you mine. You never gave it back by the way. But right now, your not here with me, so it's only natural for my heart to long for you. My heart hurts like never before. This a feeling I had never know before I had met you. Before we grew close. By the way, today's my wedding day. Yay! I'm getting married at the beach where you wore that pretty white dress. I'll scan for your face even though I know I won't see it. And you don't have to worry. You will always be my very best friend. The one who rescued me from my own despair and misery.The only one who lifted me from the depths of hell. My savior that came from the heavens above. I won't let you down. I will continue to live through your name. I wish you well. My dearest friend. May your soul continue to rest in eternal peace. Thank you for everything...Cecilia.
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