神與畜 - 夢魘症11

一切都要從升高中的暑假說起。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZZE0QIWu8
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「笙，這禮拜六有空嗎？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DhggzpdA5
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qP2gywhcQ
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEIGPMXKzH
爸爸說，禮拜六要跟他的再婚對象吃飯，在台北。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfX90F2NPUL
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQ0vsvwSrb
「要穿很正式嗎？」我問。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnn7qvcjr7
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qhNj93dfF
「普通襯衫就好。不是多高級的餐廳，太正式反而讓對方不自在。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqvnx82LGx
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爸爸對我當時的反應應該很欣慰。對於他再婚，我沒有意見，對新媽媽的要求也不高，別像之前那個一樣、愛上別的男人就行。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46YAVfEZmO
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之後要和新媽媽一起住，趁現在熟悉一點比較好，我抱著這樣的想法赴約，穿了件普通的藍色襯衫，但一到現場我就後悔，因為爸爸沒有跟我說，現場還有妳。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoDHPofPXm
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660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5H07RfpLd0
「她叫白絃。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRFtf2bDDr
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0AjsDoxIj
「我的女兒，也是你未來的姊姊喲。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9L053Yyin
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vsHMYsrck
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhOYfhLm1w
如果爸爸事先告訴我，我就不會挑最討厭的藍色，而是我喜歡的粉紅色襯衫。因為爸爸對顏色的刻板印象，我一直不敢穿它，我就是這麼膽小的人；如果那時我鼓起勇氣，或許就能和妳開啟「喜歡粉紅色」的共同話題，而不是互用尷尬卻不失禮貌的微笑看著對方，應付這場聚會。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34dmr0VTh8
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妳大我七歲，已經出社會工作，是成熟的大人，言行舉止均符合社會標準，但我知道妳在忍耐，因為我從妳身上嗅到跟我一樣的味道，我們臉上都戴著虛偽的笑臉面具。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iNyLwS5ak
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FqpCISIft
不過，妳應付社交場合的經驗比我多，和爸爸的互動十分自然；相較之下，我像有社交障礙的高中生，常常不知道怎麼接話，但新媽媽把我的沉默歸為乖巧，莫名對我讚譽有加。我們的餐局在怪異的和諧中結束，兩個月後，我們搬去妳們的房子，由法律維繫的重組家庭就這麼拉開序幕。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPLcai7z4W
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNisPfLxahI
爸爸再婚的決定是對的，不只減輕他養育我的壓力，有媽媽的感覺也很不錯，至少每天放學都有三菜一湯的晚餐，而不是一邊吃爸爸買回來的便當，一邊滑手機、看「媽媽」跟陌生叔叔吃飯的打卡照片。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cl2sCrfFV
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660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrU2rnH3D7G
「我來幫忙吧。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98CFf90prz
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxYhvKuAhF
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aMXDlz6JX
回家時，媽媽都還在廚房，我通常會去幫忙，比如擺餐具。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUztKcNzXco
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQLR4sDEX2
「笙，拿三副碗筷就好囉。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVFtVyZH1o
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrFi4vcer3
爸爸七點前一定到家，少掉的那副碗筷不是他。我問媽媽：「姊姊不回來吃嗎？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmxjSwvxLP
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPYZWcr4YU
「她工作很忙，常常加班到很晚。」媽媽說。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbn0Zjzafn
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiQFYw6N4G
「姊姊做什麼工作？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbQbApn6Fh
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMuPLyyHY3
「一間藥廠的助理，詳細我沒問。」媽媽說：「你姊姊大學讀政治，畢業後失業了半年，我原本想逼她考公務員或研究所，幸好她最後找到了這個工作。雖然常加班，但看在薪水高、給家裡生活費很多的份上，我就懶得說她，畢竟每次跟你姊姊講話，我都會被氣得半死。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoYXvidWF3
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQ60mtZ9cs
媽媽對妳有很多不滿，我知道，因為她的控制慾很強。哪怕妳已經出社會，媽媽還是會管妳的穿著、交友圈、職涯規劃；但妳從不把她的話當回事，導致媽媽對妳很失望，妳們總是在爭吵。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MKDCRjGCx
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNmJninill
坦白說，我當時對妳沒太多想法，畢竟我們根本沒說過話。妳都在我起床前出門、睡著後回家，見了面也不知道能聊什麼。這種尷尬的關係維持了三年，一直到高中三年級，我才變成大家所知道的羅笙──那個喜歡妳、喜歡到滲入骨髓的羅笙。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGe1Hdfpfd
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1LAZzHXLt
先解釋當時的背景吧。我當時的狀況非常差，爸媽不同意我考藝術學院、勸我放棄芭蕾，在學校又因為外表被同學霸凌、被老師性騷擾。那段時間於我而言就像地獄，曾求助卻被反說是自己的問題，光熬過每天的二十四小時都讓我想死，失眠、焦慮、精神不濟等症狀一一出現，身心靈都感到疲憊不堪，覺得自己再也撐不下去。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemPekSFnTd
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdImsLSszxg
某個爸媽都去上班的早晨、我應該要去學校的時間，我人卻還坐在餐桌，吃著硬掉的早餐。明明知道會遲到，身體卻怎樣都動不起來，連開始新的一天的勇氣都沒有。正當我思考曠課會有什麼下場時，一個腳步聲從樓梯走下來、嚇了我一跳，我以為家裡只有自己。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI5QV19P9z
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXm7HusgXr
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasvyb0gp3f
「你不用上學嗎？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAMsG0UpBc
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPSdVNV9fF
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yu9sGTyp8
是妳，妳竟然在家裡。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xqb6BuHsa
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgv2EbUMEVV
「妳不用上班嗎？」我錯愕問。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOR63hbnNCA
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWaVw8kYNb
「實驗沒進展，老闆乾脆放我假。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CRSRMHLp8
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnY3e6DnoD
妳從我旁邊走過、打開冰箱。我以為妳指的是治療疾病的藥物實驗，現在回想，妳那時協助的實驗，應該是水果塔的研發。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74UVnlUeis
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15asTjmfxT
「你不去學校嗎？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEzskUWaOA
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzJMysuov1
妳突然問，口氣不是關心，像在亂開話題。但當時的我瀕臨崩潰，竟下意識說了句：「我只想去死。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WU8OYpVtw
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡop7F3y2hUH
「……？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZOIZ2Xkdb
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR6Wsql72t
妳把目光從冰箱移到我身上，我這才意識到自己說了什麼。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznm2sz83EX
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2soCooaPq
「呃，我的意思是……！」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsPtYco2QL
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「想死的話，我不會阻止你喲。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlQmPzE9EV
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlspdYwwbVg
妳關上冰箱的門，盯著我吃到一半的麵包。比起我的性命，妳似乎比較在意早餐要吃什麼，這讓我很受傷。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOg4lT1vHge
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSLnbnm716
「唉，別用那種表情看我，我不是在叫你去死。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA6i04Y0fq
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKJaWdTZXn
看我僵在原地，妳一臉「這小孩真麻煩」的口氣說：「要生要死，你自己決定，怎麼運用生命是你的自由，我不會干涉。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL1hmowmBW
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「可是……」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdupifXur2D
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「但有個前提：你已經為自己活過一次。如果你的人生跟屍體沒兩樣，死不死根本沒差。從沒活過的人，沒有資格談死。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGse2T4bOuy
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz00m4OOpVB
我什麼話也說不出，當時的衝擊很難形容。我的生活只有家和學校，但同一棟房子裡，卻有個人──妳──在用全然不同的思考方式在生活。我封閉的世界彷彿被敲開一個洞，新的顏色灌進來，是妳的顏色。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVjsKF0Y7W
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwgMRrRINs
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為什麼妳說得出這種話？660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoziXcbSA0D
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gsI45OqNf
為什麼妳的價值觀和大家這麼不同？660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWZYUB43il
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUZ80h0kKx
妳都在想什麼？都經歷了什麼？660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMeEGI1U1K
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAXZ5VBgXs
面具脫下後，這才是妳的真面目。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4gGzHmWiD
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykEOlejAta
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「姊姊。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAyqUNKUkL
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFchtPpbVxo
我突然問妳：「妳平常是真的加班，還是不想回家？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtPZl1PMiY
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFKSiuzSVQ
妳沒有回話，只給我一抹迷人的微笑。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEYmkXdElE
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfhmuOpiyc
「好羨慕。」我說：「很多人都說不想長大，但我想趕快變成大人。小孩子沒有獨立生活的能力，大多時候只能任人宰割，我討厭這樣，所以我很羨慕妳。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWbUxpYKj7
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNxZC8JeS6
妳雖然在笑，卻解讀不出喜怒哀樂，也看不出是否認同我的話。妳應該改名叫「白懸」，因為妳就像一部懸疑小說，令人摸不著頭緒。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1yvRZaIKF
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「笙。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E62WFDYaD
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660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5btTu3COx2
三年來，妳第一次叫我的名字。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXyBpcSRYk
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9crSzNXYBJ
「我幫你請假，一起去吃早餐吧。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnmsUeW4gT
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iyE8TMNi4
於是，我們一起出門，那是我人生第一次翹課，感覺出乎預料平淡，是妳讓我心跳加速。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPxjciYVsn
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IQ4tWHMAI
那天我們一直在一起，吃完早餐去逛街，逛完街去看展，看完展去夜市，一路上沒太多話，畢竟（當時的）我們話都不多，但那氣氛非常舒服，我至今都記得我們早餐吃了什麼、展場入口的收票員、射飛鏢贏來的獎品，尤其便利商店的布丁雪糕，那是我此生唯一從妳手裡接過的禮物。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwj0AfoXbe
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FwyS8IHEV
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQk3hxgRsn3
「我一點都不值得羨慕喔。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPknyKs49c
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKULXwkhOBs
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfKxj14L5v
一直到晚上七點，我們從夜市走去車站的路上，妳才回覆我早上的話。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNHlM35uRZ
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOKMxWSm3B
「確實，我擅長與人保持距離，因為我對自由的嚮往超越了任何一份情感。我甚至想追求更多自由，擺脫倫理道德、打破社會框架，當一個徹頭徹尾的瘋子。」妳苦笑，「但我們這類人啊，忠於自由、安於歸宿。嚮往自由並非厭惡束縛，而是對束縛自己的人不滿；一旦出現值得效忠、值得愛的人，被當成寵物也無所謂。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoV2W2ayZU
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxMkQ1bjRC
我當時沒發現妳這段話有多恐怖。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zmVwvWEfh
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxE9HWoQpr
「我的人生，就是不停地尋找能給我套上項圈的人。假使那個人真的出現，我會變得多瘋狂呢？那份執念又將把我帶去哪呢？我會為了那個人做到什麼地步呢？我整天都在想這些，一點也不高尚，所以我不值得羨慕。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKviKAUplc4
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sDY8x2tDf
妳說這些，並不是想得到我的回應，單純為說而說，因為妳很自私，妳的腦中只有自己，連正在聽自己說話的我也不願意顧慮。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaOW9pBk9T
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDeCkzeBB1
所以妳永遠不會知道──因為無聊而打的請假電話，拯救了身心靈差點崩潰的我；隨便挑的一間展覽，開啟了我對武士刀的熱愛；衝著第二支半價買的布丁雪糕，從此成了回憶，我一百年後也無法忘記。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q7QxJMhEm
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWPFAQtuN2
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgS0eJY7Xhy
「抱歉，現在說這些，你也聽不懂吧？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauQWdAvvBT
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4UV2m2lYT
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQtIt3uqea
確實，我不敢說全部聽懂。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDubKWKYZ8E
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tVim7ntx8
但我知道妳很寂寞。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrujHz1SMWH
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspkKJ2aXww
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHZ8D6MwcW
「竟然跟一個高中生說這些，我也是瘋了。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwt9jM5FEh7
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMK4aABbTy
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOekQCq8Z6
寂寞的妳，兩年後得到能操控距離的水果塔。一夕之間，爸爸媽媽變得不認識妳，親戚朋友叫不出妳的名，高中同學翻開畢業紀念冊，全然想不起妳的事。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ159X3VOmCI
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MiL8oQdrt
而妳彷彿重獲新生。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspAoKFMFiL
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmESqHXcet
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdb4masLOt
「……！？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgVvcthcD2
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8SwO5T8Wc
里奧給我看妳的相片，已經是我大學二年級的事了。我記憶中的妳成熟穩重，但相片中，妳只穿一件寬擺帽T，頭髮全部變成粉紅色，看起來比我小。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYha7B4vQ7
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz75dx9RfkK
「她是你姊姊？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCzIDAaZA6
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwO7EdVk4k
里奧大我兩屆，是商學院的資優生，講話還不是現在這副死德性。特地來藝術學院找我，是為他的摯友瘋帽而來，目的是打聽妳的事。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftENZ5VAZZ
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEK5YsSpLy
「五官確實是她……」我盯著相片，「但是，氣質和我記憶中不一樣。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0cbn2XPN8
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxamk4rwTY
「你們很久沒見了？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXPbEAevHX
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgfW3hTZ2Y
「嗯，她本來就很少回家，我現在又是外宿。上次見面是兩年前，我高三的時候。」我問：「她發生什麼事了？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMU67Lh2Xa
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhKjsuShfL
「情況很複雜。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgENymmmAt
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eFpbhCUsY
里奧用他琉璃色的眼睛凝視我。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaybYzotpZ7
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4FLMXOsou
「你姊姊現在，是某人身邊最麻煩的鬣狗。我們換個地方談。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRqI4yG1Yg
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t75RtTjek
妳想擺脫過往的一切、拉開與所有人的距離，卻沒想過我會主動靠近，所以我很感謝里奧，因為他帶我進入妳的世界──一個荒誕的仙境，成為你們荒誕的一部分。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxNgRypR4S
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm9de0maJL
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbGRVKNfh2
「初次見面，我叫紅鶴。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE3UM77iQ9
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKvB7n2eXl
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl51koPBHMP
追隨妳的腳步，我也重獲新生。和妳一樣的髮色，和妳同個色系的衣著。我用全新的姿態來到妳面前，妳卻看都不看我一眼。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9SYFijsEW
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFq7Rf8sJg
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bq2qfwVsY
「幸會，我是艾莉絲，可以叫我夏悠。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6mFmdkm7W
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx3UnHmsMT
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTZXRd1klc
給妳套上項圈的人，除了身體塞滿棉花，我找不出任何特色。她是連表情都沒有的人偶、用來滿足自己母親思念的替代品，我不懂妳為什麼選擇她。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxWluOgZOy
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNM08jKVYTG
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKCGLviIOa
「我最喜歡小悠了！」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlwfd3Dndg
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVp7SOIeCg
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTVzmPWhNV
明明比較早認識妳的人，是我。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcafpHv4NT
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRM31P0SniB
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvhON8L0Pg
「我聽妳的！小悠說什麼我都聽！」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATeN4KQPxV
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmkrvMllBi
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFj93e5ytFd
被妳拯救過、最了解妳孤獨的人，是我。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIba5eui03J
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjVuCaE5oY
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpAb7q9vWh
「我只要有小悠就夠了！」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TM21dSrVQ
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsbLBSZWw6
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcR8oYOsS4W
最有資格把妳綁在身邊的人，應該也是我。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wh01qZTWL
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4fwiuSbSa
我不知道這份執念從何而來，畢竟我和妳沒有太多相處，但我就是好不甘心。我以為我們戴著一樣的面具，後來發現，我們其實活在不同的宇宙；妳的宇宙只有妳，妳孤單一人漂浮在深沉的黑暗，我是唯一前往過那片黑暗的人。我厭煩戴面具的世界，嚮往妳追逐的自由。我想擁抱妳、陪伴妳，我願意和妳一起死在那片黑暗，我願意以弟弟的身分給妳想要的歸宿。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUVdiQ7raX
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqqTixbC39
但那個人──那個被權力腐化的人，非但沒拯救妳，還對妳施加內而外的破壞。她破壞妳的人格、妳的美，妳所有令我著迷的一切。妳是尊貴的獅鷲，卻被連人都稱不上的怪物糟蹋，我怎麼可能嚥得下這口氣？660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2qRtJDRqo
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7s83JtZrj
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvm1pRxmXT
「我愛她。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag3To1TUqp
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNtO1FNBJA
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSR8hxyfsp
我的偏執讓我變得越加恐怖，我開始殺人──最初我們一起看的展覽、那些武士刀，我揮起來竟毫不費力，習慣「剝奪他人生命」所需要的時間，也短暫得令人難以置信。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCYzKOYVK2
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKpEtmhP7r
「我多麼希望自己能擁有她。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41McY05xCz
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMY3ePm7l4
我創造了新的宇宙，那個宇宙充滿妳，但血紅色的鶴會汙染妳，我不能讓妳蒙受更多汙穢，所以向他託付了妳。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXji6U60T78
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrityjQ2VQl
「拜託你了，金允燦。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFA43qHFtA
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYwG8YEvJ4
我親愛的姊夫，一個不屬於仙境，卻影響仙境至深的男人。他是艾莉絲與黨對接的窗口，也是唯一沒有水果塔，卻知道我們所有事情的人。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BexWLUyW3
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFitQvX47C
「可是她……」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0v2B6NxyL
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMoSeho3Ox
「我會幫你找到姊姊。」我說：「能救她的人，真的只剩你了。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HCT7nZKeW
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhlFDhXMSQ
妳說金允燦是玩具，我一眼就看穿妳的謊言，他在妳心裡的份量與艾莉絲相當。艾莉絲是王、是帝、是絕對的權，她給了妳項圈；金允燦是普通上班族，除了高個子和中分外沒有特色，能給妳的只有沒有特色的生活，但那恰好是妳需要的。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Kw3u2nSgk
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSZagXI8sq
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw2Fs90uLv
“In me the cave-man clasps the seer,”660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8BO50oiyd
──於我，穴居者攫取了先知。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36SigEQs0c
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuUepSpEq1
“And garlanded Apollo goes”660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIPH4zHSxj
──佩帶花環的阿波羅，660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInOGOQdw8F
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgrL06eAF5
“Chanting to Abraham’s deaf ear.”660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb3a2JrcC7
──向亞伯拉罕的聾耳吟唱。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7VoHK3bpd
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAMVkdpeSB
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99aVnHCCCh
姊姊，我親愛的姊姊，妳的人生根本不需要項圈。妳在我眼裡如此耀眼，這樣的妳足以驕傲、足以抬頭。妳必須扯開項圈，妳才是凌駕在艾莉絲之上、那宛若神明的存在。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasNVJqdYY0
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HHT7UY0y8
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvRYCapK4f
“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQFCbknzrF
──我心有猛虎，細嗅薔薇。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohs8kl9tFG
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0U26ZOXfE
“Look in my heart, kind friends, and tremble,”660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB42PQyaM2m
──審視我的心靈吧，朋友，你應戰慄。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWkfRDknHz
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zE6odCg2l
“Since there your elements assemble.”660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysd9Ui8X46
──因為那才是你本來的面目。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPvWgPCcKT
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvCk5Ywmci
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdk4ef7J0X
重拾勇氣的妳，殺死了他們一半的人；剩下的苟延殘喘，變成今天的高宇維、神與畜。重創艾莉絲體系後，妳和金允燦創立Platinum，妳終於有了自己的家。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5jOfRE8zb
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkploJIxh8
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5xNx9Pqdj
「你做好覺悟了嗎？」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEZTsG0QNh
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHA80u527j
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFx9mPnAqi
一生都在不幸的妳，和姊夫幸福快樂了一百年，我也不知不覺監視里奧他們如此之久，久到第二代、第三代出現，導致我的名單越來越長，必須殺死的人越來越多。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBFutHEKIO
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7YllYk4XK
「注射後，蜘蛛糖會埋沒你的理智，你將只剩『快樂』一種情緒。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlCKn9kyNG
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzl0twnREgY
閉館的體育場，笑臉還是那頭墨綠色的頭髮。她平淡告訴我：「除非你的理智戰勝它、搶回主導權。你將和蜘蛛糖合而為一，得到難以想像的力量。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EF04rzu1k
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiHbUr3W12
「無所謂，這樣就夠了。」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGaTt9dLNd
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj3m1DfIY0
一百年後的二十二世紀，姊夫已經離開，妳平靜快樂的日子畫下句點。妳的目光再次注視艾莉絲體系，暗中阻止悲劇再次發生，因為妳就是這麼溫柔，和當年幫我請假的妳一樣，妳從來沒有變──660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEzbYqgw5e
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdi03Ufe6b
可是這樣不行啊，我親愛的姊姊。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMmw7RewBS
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7eH86zVTS
只要水果塔還在，妳就無法置身事外，這樣的妳是沒辦法幸福的。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YQbpOm5LP
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14QBxbDlaS
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UKCizTyDT
「嘻嘻嘻……嘻嘻哈哈哈哈！」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRo1Jhac6l2
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4y2S871vm
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoKSkXAlcn
所以，一切都交給我吧。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLQwh39Ck4
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubJtFUvssG
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqxHGLDOqA
「姊姊……姊姊……哈哈！我會把他們全部殺光，感謝我吧！姊姊！」660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYDdRzKEoR
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRiOSSoLek
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gw4hPoBvc
我和我體內的蜘蛛，是為了妳的幸福而生的。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteDmqI38av
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1X9YKTiU0
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPGuySYIoy
一百年前，妳幫鶴找到活下去的希望。660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKJXenmyfs
660Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpHK1ZeYGn
如今，是鶴報恩的時候了。