神與畜 - 夢魘症11

一切都要從升高中的暑假說起。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gIcpinNIV
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4GIBBTFIs
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwPgx6OnKF
「笙，這禮拜六有空嗎？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUf2qkhVO4d
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVEOufcL7C
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBiVtXBHy5
爸爸說，禮拜六要跟他的再婚對象吃飯，在台北。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeJ88rcoBO
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUIhd6ZEsS
「要穿很正式嗎？」我問。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJA9ZOeJaB
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2AHt8Tn2L
「普通襯衫就好。不是多高級的餐廳，太正式反而讓對方不自在。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGDkIYE5oA
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceB2llFFYD
爸爸對我當時的反應應該很欣慰。對於他再婚，我沒有意見，對新媽媽的要求也不高，別像之前那個一樣、愛上別的男人就行。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9D6bwE5l4
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLggzuS3gR
之後要和新媽媽一起住，趁現在熟悉一點比較好，我抱著這樣的想法赴約，穿了件普通的藍色襯衫，但一到現場我就後悔，因為爸爸沒有跟我說，現場還有妳。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MKae8sdYs
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRjOlE8GL7
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxQVKXBOlp
「她叫白絃。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo1Kz4mVti
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOPrBwqEsF
「我的女兒，也是你未來的姊姊喲。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGd1IUwIPZD
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5IZ8pfZV1
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhFAhw4ISi
如果爸爸事先告訴我，我就不會挑最討厭的藍色，而是我喜歡的粉紅色襯衫。因為爸爸對顏色的刻板印象，我一直不敢穿它，我就是這麼膽小的人；如果那時我鼓起勇氣，或許就能和妳開啟「喜歡粉紅色」的共同話題，而不是互用尷尬卻不失禮貌的微笑看著對方，應付這場聚會。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhBV5zPr6V
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HPikGP4VB
妳大我七歲，已經出社會工作，是成熟的大人，言行舉止均符合社會標準，但我知道妳在忍耐，因為我從妳身上嗅到跟我一樣的味道，我們臉上都戴著虛偽的笑臉面具。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkid5OyXZc
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zaAS6Y3S8
不過，妳應付社交場合的經驗比我多，和爸爸的互動十分自然；相較之下，我像有社交障礙的高中生，常常不知道怎麼接話，但新媽媽把我的沉默歸為乖巧，莫名對我讚譽有加。我們的餐局在怪異的和諧中結束，兩個月後，我們搬去妳們的房子，由法律維繫的重組家庭就這麼拉開序幕。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKtpJjGUyS
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtXEP9xHSh
爸爸再婚的決定是對的，不只減輕他養育我的壓力，有媽媽的感覺也很不錯，至少每天放學都有三菜一湯的晚餐，而不是一邊吃爸爸買回來的便當，一邊滑手機、看「媽媽」跟陌生叔叔吃飯的打卡照片。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvcJh19KWI
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDInuAar8T
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsogJqAXnj
「我來幫忙吧。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXgaYOeeYN
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctCFUHFhrN
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlGodC6igv
回家時，媽媽都還在廚房，我通常會去幫忙，比如擺餐具。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18uw3Wbx6G
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3pxif9McB
「笙，拿三副碗筷就好囉。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7qEel1j09
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAZF3LXAfA
爸爸七點前一定到家，少掉的那副碗筷不是他。我問媽媽：「姊姊不回來吃嗎？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG5H2LWR3W
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSiXb6RnmG
「她工作很忙，常常加班到很晚。」媽媽說。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhivrHcWmwl
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCrgJ3kIAU
「姊姊做什麼工作？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnaG0al1K2
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhhJZc31c0
「一間藥廠的助理，詳細我沒問。」媽媽說：「你姊姊大學讀政治，畢業後失業了半年，我原本想逼她考公務員或研究所，幸好她最後找到了這個工作。雖然常加班，但看在薪水高、給家裡生活費很多的份上，我就懶得說她，畢竟每次跟你姊姊講話，我都會被氣得半死。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ4t9K58Fn
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB42C8Sy7rD
媽媽對妳有很多不滿，我知道，因為她的控制慾很強。哪怕妳已經出社會，媽媽還是會管妳的穿著、交友圈、職涯規劃；但妳從不把她的話當回事，導致媽媽對妳很失望，妳們總是在爭吵。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ071jZV4ZTd
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIKkHGspkD
坦白說，我當時對妳沒太多想法，畢竟我們根本沒說過話。妳都在我起床前出門、睡著後回家，見了面也不知道能聊什麼。這種尷尬的關係維持了三年，一直到高中三年級，我才變成大家所知道的羅笙──那個喜歡妳、喜歡到滲入骨髓的羅笙。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpw0addFkP
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SOg0fuCyU
先解釋當時的背景吧。我當時的狀況非常差，爸媽不同意我考藝術學院、勸我放棄芭蕾，在學校又因為外表被同學霸凌、被老師性騷擾。那段時間於我而言就像地獄，曾求助卻被反說是自己的問題，光熬過每天的二十四小時都讓我想死，失眠、焦慮、精神不濟等症狀一一出現，身心靈都感到疲憊不堪，覺得自己再也撐不下去。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dJ1W95oxQ
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zR7dNJnLf
某個爸媽都去上班的早晨、我應該要去學校的時間，我人卻還坐在餐桌，吃著硬掉的早餐。明明知道會遲到，身體卻怎樣都動不起來，連開始新的一天的勇氣都沒有。正當我思考曠課會有什麼下場時，一個腳步聲從樓梯走下來、嚇了我一跳，我以為家裡只有自己。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQc6dHqBIKm
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hEKK8dqFg
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA8hJFejd3
「你不用上學嗎？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMvVFIzMxx
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCFSGckwAI
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbjwPezzuI
是妳，妳竟然在家裡。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjCBJU5xKr
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas5yCoribY
「妳不用上班嗎？」我錯愕問。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpeE2zR2cr
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEEXdFglCY
「實驗沒進展，老闆乾脆放我假。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3akOttKCoA
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDp2awYrhx
妳從我旁邊走過、打開冰箱。我以為妳指的是治療疾病的藥物實驗，現在回想，妳那時協助的實驗，應該是水果塔的研發。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡir0mFzr4eV
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GKSuerpOj
「你不去學校嗎？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIR0WdhZiO
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wDwt27TDL
妳突然問，口氣不是關心，像在亂開話題。但當時的我瀕臨崩潰，竟下意識說了句：「我只想去死。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wiEyAWfUC
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaWS7265ps
「……？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZuHxFlZoQ
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5X3s7yQ1l
妳把目光從冰箱移到我身上，我這才意識到自己說了什麼。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSobD8S6fI
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWJmwbId54
「呃，我的意思是……！」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLGHUjaO4i
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyBEeh4DFH
「想死的話，我不會阻止你喲。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRKudENqNW
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqiz49OmJe
妳關上冰箱的門，盯著我吃到一半的麵包。比起我的性命，妳似乎比較在意早餐要吃什麼，這讓我很受傷。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMSquvnL4W
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFMar0ICoI
「唉，別用那種表情看我，我不是在叫你去死。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHWrCtF1wP
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ayovom5Wu
看我僵在原地，妳一臉「這小孩真麻煩」的口氣說：「要生要死，你自己決定，怎麼運用生命是你的自由，我不會干涉。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Mq5yNshP2
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdae8Zuvy3A
「可是……」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetGeHU3JDN
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jaYdEdVjx
「但有個前提：你已經為自己活過一次。如果你的人生跟屍體沒兩樣，死不死根本沒差。從沒活過的人，沒有資格談死。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bRim5W1c4
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XXNKBgfrx
我什麼話也說不出，當時的衝擊很難形容。我的生活只有家和學校，但同一棟房子裡，卻有個人──妳──在用全然不同的思考方式在生活。我封閉的世界彷彿被敲開一個洞，新的顏色灌進來，是妳的顏色。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLTrN6xzwJ
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhx1Qg4T5b
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ta0KgbqV8
為什麼妳說得出這種話？582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGS3o1rrQa
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5KIKCxk9k
為什麼妳的價值觀和大家這麼不同？582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqovVgFqNBr
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtm7np1fdeS
妳都在想什麼？都經歷了什麼？582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6kv6ahtec
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeXoI54s1q
面具脫下後，這才是妳的真面目。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡln3y2jskxz
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUSu7dk5Qj
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ekPebXgNf
「姊姊。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFPOvqCmrC
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkGjyr2fLq
我突然問妳：「妳平常是真的加班，還是不想回家？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9H1avcYUM
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kKMbL2QJl
妳沒有回話，只給我一抹迷人的微笑。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjEmc6RRSl
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajTvxD23nT
「好羨慕。」我說：「很多人都說不想長大，但我想趕快變成大人。小孩子沒有獨立生活的能力，大多時候只能任人宰割，我討厭這樣，所以我很羨慕妳。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES9Plbfik9
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTArM2AtsbD
妳雖然在笑，卻解讀不出喜怒哀樂，也看不出是否認同我的話。妳應該改名叫「白懸」，因為妳就像一部懸疑小說，令人摸不著頭緒。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMVXTeWMrX
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eubmcS3Hd
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5P3EHoOl1
「笙。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76ngQqcjKS
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR02DacrwSi
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGNLe8dt9Z
三年來，妳第一次叫我的名字。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccLFk0WU4k
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0OTannXL2
「我幫你請假，一起去吃早餐吧。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOkZNbg1qE
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSUzm83qWx
於是，我們一起出門，那是我人生第一次翹課，感覺出乎預料平淡，是妳讓我心跳加速。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOre6V1Qka
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb78WjaN6Vu
那天我們一直在一起，吃完早餐去逛街，逛完街去看展，看完展去夜市，一路上沒太多話，畢竟（當時的）我們話都不多，但那氣氛非常舒服，我至今都記得我們早餐吃了什麼、展場入口的收票員、射飛鏢贏來的獎品，尤其便利商店的布丁雪糕，那是我此生唯一從妳手裡接過的禮物。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLhVCrwLqC
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNIoApn2Xy
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5q52nlSCmC
「我一點都不值得羨慕喔。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbeDhC9TIL
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbDhmh7yKQ
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBRHFQJXcL
一直到晚上七點，我們從夜市走去車站的路上，妳才回覆我早上的話。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqHIprZ39F
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5deyIvbaT
「確實，我擅長與人保持距離，因為我對自由的嚮往超越了任何一份情感。我甚至想追求更多自由，擺脫倫理道德、打破社會框架，當一個徹頭徹尾的瘋子。」妳苦笑，「但我們這類人啊，忠於自由、安於歸宿。嚮往自由並非厭惡束縛，而是對束縛自己的人不滿；一旦出現值得效忠、值得愛的人，被當成寵物也無所謂。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXIPKMw65A
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwG9IjiN0n
我當時沒發現妳這段話有多恐怖。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjpEAdKecE
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWHnIt1qim
「我的人生，就是不停地尋找能給我套上項圈的人。假使那個人真的出現，我會變得多瘋狂呢？那份執念又將把我帶去哪呢？我會為了那個人做到什麼地步呢？我整天都在想這些，一點也不高尚，所以我不值得羨慕。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXW8xS5BS46
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07eZHPXyhb
妳說這些，並不是想得到我的回應，單純為說而說，因為妳很自私，妳的腦中只有自己，連正在聽自己說話的我也不願意顧慮。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8ZfoED5Fa
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0TnHYuj8F
所以妳永遠不會知道──因為無聊而打的請假電話，拯救了身心靈差點崩潰的我；隨便挑的一間展覽，開啟了我對武士刀的熱愛；衝著第二支半價買的布丁雪糕，從此成了回憶，我一百年後也無法忘記。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhXgSuyJUy
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9Lmgh2p9V
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2kZg1vqih
「抱歉，現在說這些，你也聽不懂吧？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcOm94eOvi
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsnCBYuaWa
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVrjiZXcQA
確實，我不敢說全部聽懂。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyLIxJYu4R
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigkVhfzH7f
但我知道妳很寂寞。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzzH38ogc5
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7dzxzFpSI
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DVuymEeDU
「竟然跟一個高中生說這些，我也是瘋了。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuzfkUizSb
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcfzcj43y4
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MrLsLNZIr
寂寞的妳，兩年後得到能操控距離的水果塔。一夕之間，爸爸媽媽變得不認識妳，親戚朋友叫不出妳的名，高中同學翻開畢業紀念冊，全然想不起妳的事。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXvqIvwJ7C
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6dahQNzKL
而妳彷彿重獲新生。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBN1e53ZQXe
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9od7A38N6
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FriUuB5lC
「……！？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDA66cqAiF
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiQj72fx8S
里奧給我看妳的相片，已經是我大學二年級的事了。我記憶中的妳成熟穩重，但相片中，妳只穿一件寬擺帽T，頭髮全部變成粉紅色，看起來比我小。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbySU34dgS
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZrvZX4GZG
「她是你姊姊？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpLJh4rO4W
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLiZENZVXS
里奧大我兩屆，是商學院的資優生，講話還不是現在這副死德性。特地來藝術學院找我，是為他的摯友瘋帽而來，目的是打聽妳的事。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDH8dcEHvf
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWKoXg6eu1
「五官確實是她……」我盯著相片，「但是，氣質和我記憶中不一樣。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDQdxlpuPf
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxNrvfGRd4
「你們很久沒見了？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNaUVJMptc
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSlxhKJCyw
「嗯，她本來就很少回家，我現在又是外宿。上次見面是兩年前，我高三的時候。」我問：「她發生什麼事了？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡne8TNz68ZG
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxHABTDbga
「情況很複雜。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvVmrQm09G
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEinmXJwos
里奧用他琉璃色的眼睛凝視我。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJooTlH8DaW
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVveHdGfEw
「你姊姊現在，是某人身邊最麻煩的鬣狗。我們換個地方談。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyaOBeAAiU
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyVD7DlUkD
妳想擺脫過往的一切、拉開與所有人的距離，卻沒想過我會主動靠近，所以我很感謝里奧，因為他帶我進入妳的世界──一個荒誕的仙境，成為你們荒誕的一部分。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kaSm782l8
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3kjY7rXcy
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrI43D1jl7r
「初次見面，我叫紅鶴。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwdf8K5dmJ
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxsscde49k
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxvlcnuay1
追隨妳的腳步，我也重獲新生。和妳一樣的髮色，和妳同個色系的衣著。我用全新的姿態來到妳面前，妳卻看都不看我一眼。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6b7M8521OI
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O2jsZrxnp
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsEoj6bOcN
「幸會，我是艾莉絲，可以叫我夏悠。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BkPMiDPCv
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70RxQZODMh
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft9aP0o31N
給妳套上項圈的人，除了身體塞滿棉花，我找不出任何特色。她是連表情都沒有的人偶、用來滿足自己母親思念的替代品，我不懂妳為什麼選擇她。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kGd0pht9Y
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZmoz6WNZC
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3j2t9Z8vm
「我最喜歡小悠了！」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybhHrMnlZ2
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxi0ezFYc5
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAlcwfCr1t
明明比較早認識妳的人，是我。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEdEdAlTnl
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeHtwTxvEa
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEB1pRzSHm
「我聽妳的！小悠說什麼我都聽！」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnDIcyGw6a
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP7KZO9mr8
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3buxR21Bgi
被妳拯救過、最了解妳孤獨的人，是我。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsiEhZGh65
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwM0h46cD2m
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzb9k9NuOD
「我只要有小悠就夠了！」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEEToMee40
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi1TU7x8Ey
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoemKYmLq1y
最有資格把妳綁在身邊的人，應該也是我。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzmHFS63l9
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUmNmn0dbg
我不知道這份執念從何而來，畢竟我和妳沒有太多相處，但我就是好不甘心。我以為我們戴著一樣的面具，後來發現，我們其實活在不同的宇宙；妳的宇宙只有妳，妳孤單一人漂浮在深沉的黑暗，我是唯一前往過那片黑暗的人。我厭煩戴面具的世界，嚮往妳追逐的自由。我想擁抱妳、陪伴妳，我願意和妳一起死在那片黑暗，我願意以弟弟的身分給妳想要的歸宿。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADDP7YUGKi
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZck91SS3vV
但那個人──那個被權力腐化的人，非但沒拯救妳，還對妳施加內而外的破壞。她破壞妳的人格、妳的美，妳所有令我著迷的一切。妳是尊貴的獅鷲，卻被連人都稱不上的怪物糟蹋，我怎麼可能嚥得下這口氣？582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMV6dTnh5OY
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiodsNd9Pn
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ6trYLa0u
「我愛她。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbPj0gSeWP
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9xXiDkMFl
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzRYAI5EOI
我的偏執讓我變得越加恐怖，我開始殺人──最初我們一起看的展覽、那些武士刀，我揮起來竟毫不費力，習慣「剝奪他人生命」所需要的時間，也短暫得令人難以置信。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ774dWCAkZC
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqAiQ7k2jD
「我多麼希望自己能擁有她。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQXgc1YHI6
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTImFc2q92W
我創造了新的宇宙，那個宇宙充滿妳，但血紅色的鶴會汙染妳，我不能讓妳蒙受更多汙穢，所以向他託付了妳。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡie39FXf5ag
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiID2lIZex0
「拜託你了，金允燦。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLozqGexq3J
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsDNgV3Pgi
我親愛的姊夫，一個不屬於仙境，卻影響仙境至深的男人。他是艾莉絲與黨對接的窗口，也是唯一沒有水果塔，卻知道我們所有事情的人。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD65pH3V6Z5
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh31BRcbPoZ
「可是她……」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdURIMEU5C2
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXKiTLmeRC
「我會幫你找到姊姊。」我說：「能救她的人，真的只剩你了。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWQ2jJ8IKL
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM4COIat3T
妳說金允燦是玩具，我一眼就看穿妳的謊言，他在妳心裡的份量與艾莉絲相當。艾莉絲是王、是帝、是絕對的權，她給了妳項圈；金允燦是普通上班族，除了高個子和中分外沒有特色，能給妳的只有沒有特色的生活，但那恰好是妳需要的。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuuI32lKZn
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKScmLX8lUe
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslOUiqOpmV
“In me the cave-man clasps the seer,”582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIF0tcwucBG
──於我，穴居者攫取了先知。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIViBhEDiex
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoh69p0iVY
“And garlanded Apollo goes”582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLX6sqo5u4
──佩帶花環的阿波羅，582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RT2xdOvaX
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjMyrc2b3X
“Chanting to Abraham’s deaf ear.”582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06cA5BmRgu
──向亞伯拉罕的聾耳吟唱。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV1w67eb8o
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiViFcRTAB
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1t1qh9LBr
姊姊，我親愛的姊姊，妳的人生根本不需要項圈。妳在我眼裡如此耀眼，這樣的妳足以驕傲、足以抬頭。妳必須扯開項圈，妳才是凌駕在艾莉絲之上、那宛若神明的存在。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWmZ9hrJkj
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpWCEJ8m7p
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnapZEBCUY
“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK1rLr6W2q
──我心有猛虎，細嗅薔薇。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49lP7Z3qhs
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uW8aUxKtS
“Look in my heart, kind friends, and tremble,”582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdjj9stEdI
──審視我的心靈吧，朋友，你應戰慄。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDNTx7qR96
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdJ0cFZ8bg
“Since there your elements assemble.”582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uN2OOC1X2
──因為那才是你本來的面目。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVY8z7Cz4c
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHODCbP8VpP
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Pae3naHc4
重拾勇氣的妳，殺死了他們一半的人；剩下的苟延殘喘，變成今天的高宇維、神與畜。重創艾莉絲體系後，妳和金允燦創立Platinum，妳終於有了自己的家。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzGHfnrDJt
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwSDhS1884
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1CVSyFpdu
「你做好覺悟了嗎？」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHvsP1I5Gb
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiELDrFeUi
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡActmScDTfD
一生都在不幸的妳，和姊夫幸福快樂了一百年，我也不知不覺監視里奧他們如此之久，久到第二代、第三代出現，導致我的名單越來越長，必須殺死的人越來越多。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQMkGUKKiL
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVFEWD2syO
「注射後，蜘蛛糖會埋沒你的理智，你將只剩『快樂』一種情緒。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4H7uoGdpgv
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrcyxQXhue
閉館的體育場，笑臉還是那頭墨綠色的頭髮。她平淡告訴我：「除非你的理智戰勝它、搶回主導權。你將和蜘蛛糖合而為一，得到難以想像的力量。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWYbANkS6z
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ia4dIgfCw
「無所謂，這樣就夠了。」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPmTS2GdaT
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbID7wyJu37
一百年後的二十二世紀，姊夫已經離開，妳平靜快樂的日子畫下句點。妳的目光再次注視艾莉絲體系，暗中阻止悲劇再次發生，因為妳就是這麼溫柔，和當年幫我請假的妳一樣，妳從來沒有變──582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHDmFOsxJN
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZmkUsIkxM
可是這樣不行啊，我親愛的姊姊。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVJpdMIbQD
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYel0wbVN5
只要水果塔還在，妳就無法置身事外，這樣的妳是沒辦法幸福的。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPRddPsZtZ
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qp5mbaFYV
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJvzmzklyk
「嘻嘻嘻……嘻嘻哈哈哈哈！」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiQJGDx2V0
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUzI3oOpnp
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwdfoiqN81
所以，一切都交給我吧。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIaDi0DDss
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt0ChQKwPX
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8a6RkG2nN
「姊姊……姊姊……哈哈！我會把他們全部殺光，感謝我吧！姊姊！」582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmX1Y32smsZ
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkFmwy2G5C
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMQOXl1dvV
我和我體內的蜘蛛，是為了妳的幸福而生的。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHV5fSNvSs
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV2RSau2dF
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSeaP1gkBP
一百年前，妳幫鶴找到活下去的希望。582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHyWAnAFQY
582Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3693AR5yAY
如今，是鶴報恩的時候了。