I hopped out of my car, running towards the hospital room, my body beginning to tremble as a wave of terror and realization crashed over me. “I need to see Joshua Mclaughlin right away!”
“They’re in room two-hundred twenty-four.”
“Thank you ma’am!” I dashed to the elevator, and made it to his room as fast as I could manage, “Joshua!” I called out as I entered the room, making him, and the girl next to him cringe,
“Mom.. That’s not my name…” He croaked,
“Don’t pull this right now!” I grabbed his hand, which he quickly pulled away from me, “Why did you do this to yourself Josh?” Instead of answering me, he looked to the girl, tears slipping down his face,
“They did it because they don’t feel accepted by you.” She informed me, clearly upset.
“Because there’s only male and female! That’s why!”
“I just told you that saying stuff like that did this to them, and you have the audacity to continue acting like this? Grow up, and get the hell out of here.”
“I’m his mother!”
“You sure aren’t acting like THEIR mom.”
“Who are you to treat me like this? Josh, how do you now this bratty woman?”
“Firstly, I’m not a woman, I’m also non-binary. Secondly, we’ve met before. I’m their Zucchini.”
“Oh god, not this Queerplatonic relationship stuff again!”
“You… You really are something. Just keep on beating your kid down after they attempted suicide.”
“Mom… leave.”
“I’m not-”
“They said go! What do you not understand?!” She yelled, clearly agitated, “Unless you want them to be in so much more pain than they already are before they die!”
“Fine!” I put my hands up, and walked out the door,
“Th-Thank you Ainsley…” I heard Josh whisper, seeming to be out of breath,
I leaned against the door, and looked up at the ceiling. I don’t get any of this. How can he be born a boy, but not be one? How can he not be a girl or a boy? How can he allow himself to be some sort of freak? ...How is he a freak? Why is he a freak? Is it all in my head? Or does everyone else think this as well?
I pulled out my phone, and went into google, typing “My son thinks he’s non-binary. What do I do?” into the search bar. I clicked onto the first website that popped up, called “Transition into Love”.
I scrolled through the site, reading through what the kid had to say, before clicking on the email button.
To: Heavyn Looper
Subject: My Son
Hello,
I’m not sure if you’ll see this in time, but my son is in the hospital, in the moment, because he attempted suicide, and will most likely end up dying. His “Zucchini” told me it’s because I’m not accepting of his non-binary identity, and I’m slightly conflicted. I really don’t believe in this non-binary stuff. I think it’s freaky, and I know others do too. I don’t want to teach him that this is right either, because it’s not. God doesn’t accept this. I know this… And if I am wrong, I don’t want to admit it... But I also want him to be happy, especially if he really is going to die. What do I do?
To: Stacie Mclaughlin
Subject: Your Child :)
I understand where you’re coming from, trust me, I used to be a lot like you, but… You are totally wrong here. To start off, as far as I can tell, you don’t even have a son, you have a child. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe in non-binary identities, they are your child, and they are non-binary. You can’t change that about them. The only thing denying it, and rejecting them will do is mess up your relationship, and make them depressed. Seeing your situation, well, both of those have already occurred. Though, you can still fix it by referring to them by their proper pronouns, and the name they’ve claimed as their real name.
Being non-binary does not make you a freak, and a lot of people are beginning to realize that now. Obviously, I can’t say that your community is accepting, I know that mine isn’t, but most people are on our side, and either way, why should that matter? Most of the people who are successful and happy broke those normalities society set, despite all the harassment they got in response. As long as your child is happy, and know that this is the right thing for them, they won’t care what anyone else says. The only reason they care right now is because you’re their mom. The person who is supposed to always be on their side, no matter what circumstances are thrown their way.
Also, the bible says absolutely nothing on non-binary folk, just like it says absolutely nothing about gay people. I used to read it over, and over, hoping that it would un-tran me. I read it so much, that I have the entire thing memorized, but I’m still trans. Why? Because that’s the way God made us to be.
As a closing note, you have made a mistake, but that’s okay. As long as you don’t let your pride blind you, and you fix it. Give them a hug, use their pronouns, and call them by their name. That’s all you have to do to make them happy, so please, I am begging you, don’t let them down.
As I read through Heavyn’s email, I began to sob, and break down. How could I have been so… blind? There is no way that he- they would be so persistent for the last two years if they didn’t mean this, if they weren’t really non-binary.
I pulled myself up, and slowly opened the door again. H- Their Zucchini immediately began to glare at me, and I waved awkwardly,
“Taylor.” I took a deep breath, and scanned their face, finding a dim light inside of their eyes, slowly beginning to shine brighter as I continued on, “I love you, and I… I’m really sorry.”
Taylor weakly reached for my hand, their breathing shallow, “I love you too mom…” They whispered, before the heart monitor let out a never-ending sound, that crushed me with regret and guilt, as I had never truly had a conversation with my child, Taylor.
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