I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you were thinking… That’s right, you. Don’t think about me naked ok. That’s weird. I had a girlfriend before I came to uni, you know. Her name was Lucy. But not with a y, with an ie. But she was cool, really, even with the ie. She was my first girlfriend and only girlfriend. We got together at fifteen. Back then I had long locks - to compliment my alternative, dreary view on the world - falling down from my head onto my slumped shoulders and across my jaded face. I don’t want to say too much about her because I’m still getting over it, but I was totally into the relationship. Like totally. The thing about me is I’m hopelessly lazy. At least when it comes to working for myself, as lazy as a panda stud in mating season. But, give me someone to work for and I’m loyal as can be. I’m not a leader that’s for sure.
Rich may appear to follow me around like a sheep, but to be honest he does it more on request than out of necessity. I dare say he’d happily stay at home or wander the roads in search of new traffic phenomena if I didn’t engage in conversation with him. Sorry, I was saying something else. Along with mumbling, I also digress quite a bit.
So yes, I am loyal. And as such when it came to my first girlfriend, boy was I loyal. It was like I’d woken up afresh, completely new body and life with the task of making Lucie as happy as could be. She didn’t ask me to of course, I just took it upon myself, and it became my mission before I could even look in the mirror and say ‘oh boy’. You know I think Rich would look good in a silver suit and a cigar hanging out of his mouth. A quantum leap reference… I must be getting old if I’m referencing tacky 90’s reruns. At least I saw it as a rerun I guess.
Sorry, I did it again! I don’t think I’m a hopeless romantic type, it’s more that I want to please. At least I want to please the few around me I care about. I’m sure if I was lying down on a sofa now, I’d tell you something about my parents, but I’m not. So, I won’t. Suffice it to say, we’re all a bit screwed up. Don’t you agree?
Well anyway look. Long story short, after four years of increasingly rocky relationship, we broke up, just before we left for university. So, it’s been over a year since I’ve really gotten close to anyone. And I’m not really one to make friends, relationshipwise or any otherwise. I miss it though. The intimacy Sleeping alone is an incredibly lonely experience when you’ve had someone next to you for four years. There’s nothing emptier than a double bed, two pillows and one head.
Course I’ve gotten on with my life. Can’t just sit in bed and watch endless episodes of old 90’s series forever. No. Well maybe you can, but if there’s anything the 90’s taught us it’s that everything comes together in the end and money is never an issue. Thanks ‘The 90’s’ you really set up a generation of kids well for the problems of the 21st century.
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