this chapter contains discussions about suicide461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgbGdg8RcR
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Humans were odd creatures, she always thought that. She'd follow them around for a short period of time, always holding on to them. Sometimes she'd see her little brother in the corner of her eye, ready to play his part in the handing over, and when they heard his name they'd grab onto her more than she'd like, determined not to let her go. They paid no attention to the girl who made sure to hold them close. Every uncertainty she made known was pushed aside until they knew she would no longer hold them.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnDIKwTdSA
They didn't care about her when she was there which, sometimes, she could not help but understand. People suffered. They blamed her for the things they faced while she held them, though the only fault that belonged to her was that she refused to let them go, so they had to experience whatever hardships came their way. Sure, she was rarely apologetic, but if you saw someone choose poorly and curse about it you too would feel little pity. But it often made her forget the people she did not fault their suffering. Those she found herself not paying attention to as much as she'd like. Then and only then, she wanted to let go. She couldn't let them go, however; she could not let go of what was hers.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8ok9wRRA4
The people who she wanted to let go were the people who had experienced the worse that human error had to offer, the worse that chances bought them. The ones she thought surely deserved her hand to hold, but they had to walk through the worst of storms while they did. That bothered her, immensely. She would at times see how chance changes sweetly for them, sometimes they'd be the turners of their own fate or they would get the help needed.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDCZkLY685
When people started to die, they often would catch a glimpse of her before the handing over. They would reach and time and time again, try to hold her tightly. That was how human beings were. They always held on tightly when it was important.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTms2M2VKb
There are human beings, however, that let go of her hand. She tries to hold on to them but they don't care for her. They let go. They perplexed her. They let go. Holding her hand was a trial and no human liked trials; to just let go was always scary. She'd hold the hands of those who had seen terrors be it perception or circumstance and she'd genuinely hope they'd come to better. But it hurt to feel them let go. It hurt that Death would touch them. It hurt that they thought him better.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IODrDZCI0
With siblings, there is rivalry no matter how friendly or close, but this was deeper than a preference for her brother. This was a willingness to never see the light of day. He was good, her brother, but he could offer no walking through fields, no running past trees, he just touched what was his and never more would a human being be.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GahXSCQU9
Death to be honest, never liked having to touch them. He always looked to his sister, a sand coloured beautiful thing with the rosiest cheeks one could ever see, eyes as bright as the sun with loose curls flowing in the breeze; their mother's closest fruit. His stare often carried confusion. Life was life, why would you let go of a hand that was that inviting? Why was he preferred to her? It made no sense to him. People usually hated the sight of him. As young as he was he understood why; he was the opposite of his sister. He could offer nothing whereas she...could offer a chance for so many things. They grabbed his hand, and he shared her fear.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO6gYfMILz
The ones that failed to grab him would see Death and smile. Then she'd be able to grab them from his grasp.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8pXaHDQHF
This was an exchange that they did not like. A game they wished they never had to play. It rarely brought them any solace. What solace could be brought anyways? They both knew what it entailed when someone tried to kill themselves. For Death, it meant that someone wanted to grab him when they should not. He respected the laws that governed him and as an honest child, he could not overlook what people generally thought of him. He was not to be loved. His sister was. Life should have been loved. She knew all that her brother was, and what he knew about his own impression. That's why those who waste their time with her would rarely get her pity. But the rejection was so palpable when a human committed suicide. They wanted nothing to do with her, holding her hand hurt them too much. What bothered her further was that, in her own way, she understood. She didn't want to let go, but she understood. She could not provide comfort, just a hand to hold, and only for a while.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiF51dTIdu
Sloane Walters had a pretty name. She was told her name meant 'warrior'. She often laughed at that because she thought herself nothing to fight for. Everything in her life seemed to fight against her. Her family, her friends, and she thought the only thing her name gave in meaning was the constant battle she faced with herself to get up, or to face the morning, or to stay alive. A rejected woman with a troubled past, she was the pity of those around her, societal scorn, so, what if a pill or three over the limit would take her from this world? There was no view she enjoyed. The one in the mirror gave her no solace, it reminded her of the reason for the hatred she received. In the far right corner, where she lay her head for the past month, unwilling to move, save for getting up to relieve herself, she sat in her room in her week-old underwear, her body matching the uncleaned area, foul-smelling and devoid of any sign of care. She sat waiting for the pills to make their mark. For the first time, she'd get what she always wanted, a different view. The type of view didn’t matter to her, in fact, even having no view at all was better than the view she had been having.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPwjbz86mO
After some time passed it all started to seem little. She felt her breathing get slower, and slower when a voice called her461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoGYxWrjYL
"Sloane, don't let me let go."461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkKqaEtkqg
"Ah, life is too hard not to."461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUbLFURC80
"I want to hold your hand, please let me continue!"461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadWZxaYOkW
"And, why? Why do that? I'm weak, I'm no fighter, why do you desire to hold my hand? You're deluded."461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOj91uVviK
"You can't be touched, not yet."461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11Rb1LzSXo
Her eyes blinked as the room around her blurred and she sunk to the ground. Everywhere hurt. She tried moving and couldn't, and she was cold. She was uncomfortably cold. After trying to move for the second time, everything went black.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgiJYLdccz
There were tubes in her arm when she woke up. She vomited. Her gags made her eyes water. She wanted the pain gone.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJyWgMk4rh
Outside, there sat a young girl, worried her friend would not be okay. Sloan did not consider her a friend, but she thought Sloan was nice despite being known to be troubled. To her, everyone needed love, especially someone as nice as Ms Walters. She didn't know about this woman's life, but she knew that she deserved more than just to die. The mere fact that she was alive, she deserved to stay there.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24iRDYdTbA
The doctor called.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiXBExpbSM
After getting up and walking over to him, the doctor spoke to her.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WdovDQkJN
"What is your relationship with Ms Walters?"461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1ijLRQuau
"She is my neighbour."461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwo7fXvFa5
"Well, we were able to get her to eject most of the substance. She'll have a speedy recovery."461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGcbDzMMWg
"Thank you, doctor."461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPxBlAN2vO
Life looked on. She was heard. She was spoken to. She was hated. She held on. Sloane slept on while Life looked at her. She wished the girl would have a turnaround. There was a small tug on her hand, however. Was she still hated? She did not know what that tug meant until water flowed out through the closed slits. Sloan wanted her to stay, even if only for a while. That tug to her meant that she would hopefully be alright, maybe holding this girl's hand would result in her being better, or her making their time together a bit better. She held on. Life felt wanted by her. She held on.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmmKo0J4ME
Humans were odd creatures, but they were amazing. They would try so hard to reach happiness, and that made her want to hold their hand.461Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UkbnUXeSc
Penana
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