Quiet. That was the only way he could think about his world. Quiet. Sometimes it seemed to him he was watching everything through a bubble that muffled the world and disconnected him. He had always thought he was alone in feeling this way. There were the overly dramatic kids who dressed in dark clothing and acted aloof. He’d always gotten the impression they were just trying to get attention.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLesFnaDKpN
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But then he’d seen her. She was walking with a group of friends. They stopped to chat in front of where he was sitting, virtually ignoring him. He was reading Catch-22 (Either out of pretentiousness or the legitimate feeling of having found a kindred spirit, he felt a particular kinship to Yossarian).678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpLmMJSWzf
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The girls had distracted him – he’d always found one of them to be especially pretty. It wasn’t that girl who drew his attention this time, however. It was her. He had to take a careful look. She was talking with her friends amicably and enthusiastically, but there was clearly some part of her that was holding back.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY1kqc2Iuh
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She was in a bubble too.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6cs1uBxO2
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It’s windy today. He isn’t particularly surprised. The Northern California weather is fairly bipolar in the spring. He isn’t wearing a sweatshirt, though. It seems to him that feeling the wind cut into his skin in its entirety is a fitting tribute. He takes a quick sip from the flask in his hand and grimaces at the strong, bitter taste. He forces himself to drink more as his thoughts return to her – although, to be honest, they have never truly ever left her.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs9jEUgijT
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK5dexeaUz
He has twenty-six minutes.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tHHPhKBEf
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She’d been in class with them since kindergarten or so, but his attention had never been drawn to her for any reason. She ran with her crowd, he ran with his (much smaller) one.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YTaoaV7t5
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Since then, he’d been virtually consumed with trying to find an in – some way to approach her. He had momentarily amused himself with the idea of just going up to her and talking. He was, as he’d realized, unusually self-reflective. He doubted she had an idea that she was in a bubble.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9r5ZNTvlT1
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIICUVZBsl
When their honors chemistry teacher had seated him beside her, he could have considered it a stroke of luck. But the truth was, he had been waiting for this moment for four years. And, still, he was frustrated to find himself at a loss for what to say.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlJtQh09Bb
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfMWCUvsIN
She was the one who talked to him first – outside their lab discussions, that is. He had been bored with the teacher’s lecture. His parents, teachers, and doctor considered him a “genius.” All of them pushed him to take the hardest, most challenging classes he possibly could. When his parents had realized that he was breezing through honors chemistry, they had wanted to petition for him to be moved to AP chemistry, but when he’d been waiting for this opportunity for so long, he couldn’t let it slip through his fingers. So, he’d purposely failed the first honors chemistry test.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfDz33l2aX
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It was a few days after the test that he had been absently doodling a ninja on his notes. He saw her glance over. He was, admittedly, a little embarrassed and he swept the paper off his desk and into his backpack. She looked at him quizzically and he whispered the first thing that came to his mind, “Ninjas don’t stay out in the open.”678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfKxtcLcwS
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8jwg25bUA
He’d wanted to slap his forehead as soon as he said that, but surprise had colored her face, only to be replaced by a little smile. He was ecstatic. It was a start, right? There was no way he could have expected what happened next.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea5V5fDgmM
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4cLlnAnqS
He went to his locker after school, and she was standing there. She turned her gaze to him and then turned away, saying, “I have something to show you.”678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkMoKopB5v
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The sun hit her face at an angle that made her eyes seem translucent. He couldn’t look away.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9t4GSNbRf
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Everything had changed after that and he never, ever wanted it to return to normal.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbkLp6ZFip
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT2KSAQawC
People were more than a little surprised at first – he was too, he had to admit. In response to the disbelieving stares, she just walked forward, firmly holding his hand. He couldn’t even say when the looks at faded, when the two of them together had become natural to everyone.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK18jmVjZrO
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrQ9FPuYyS
Outside of school, the two of them had their own world. Their bubbles had merged.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6POSF1wYc
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMlp30R25e
She moved at the speed of light, only really sitting still at rare instances. He loved how relaxed she looked when she was seated in her attic, surrounded by the miniature world she’d built. Sitting there was always cramped and uncomfortable, but it was one of his favorite places to be, just because of the way she always grew completely absorbed in her tiny village.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGG1CbcMEl
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZ665xL5RV
While he’d never been able to stand up to people, she easily bulldozed through conflicts. Still, when they were together, the façade of fierceness crumbled and she collapsed into his grip, looking like the most fragile creature he had ever seen. He would stroke her hair at those times, but somehow he felt the strongest urge to comfort her when she was in “Warrior Goddess” character, as one of them had dubbed it (although neither of them could later remember which one of them had come up with it). She told him he was the battery that kept her going.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhDeCpcMO5
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCHhuFvWpj
He’s starting to buzz now. The overhead lights are beginning to flash and the wind doesn’t sting so much anymore. He still has fourteen minutes.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBD7mfb18lz
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She reminded him of Scarlett O’Hara – from the novel, as he had never seen the movie. He never told her that, though, because sometimes he worried he wasn’t enough. He felt that a Scarlett O’Hara needed a Rhett Butler. But then she would look at him, suddenly and without any real reason and smile very, very slightly. It was their secret acknowledgement.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1WLvZJ5qq
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMAt6f9anZ
Spending time with her, especially at school, meant that he was also spending time with her friends – both guys and girls. He expected that to be annoying, but he was stunned to find that it wasn’t. He liked her friends. He liked her when she was alone with him, but he also liked her when she was with all of them.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUlWHpNwcx
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He didn’t know exactly when it had happened, but suddenly there was no longer a bubble.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyeO30hQIw
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKEoTHlsyY
It didn’t take him long to realize that she didn’t invite him over very often – and when she did, it was always afterschool and she would nervously usher him out after a couple of hours. He was never invited over on weekends. They would either go out or hang out at his house.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUqFPXftBJ
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIyyrGlsgk
He knew she lived with only her father and he’d met him only twice in all the time they were together. Her father seemed tired from work and had given him a frail smile that looked so much like hers when she was particularly jaded, that he was surprised. But she hadn’t seemed happy at all to have her dad meet him. He asked her about it and she had replied that she was embarrassed that he had met her dad, not the other way around.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08Dkj9863l
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEvbd9IOQW
One day, he kissed her and slid his hand under her shirt onto her bare stomach. She flinched away and for the first time, he truly took charge, forcing her to show him what was wrong. Her stomach was mottled with bruises. She airily told him they were an effect of her clumsiness. As far as he could think, she was the least clumsy person he’d ever known.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeg4B0T44x
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As worried as he was, he couldn’t bring himself to broach the topic again. She was unpredictable in her anger. Their relationship was characterized by his ability to keep the peace and not get riled up over every little thing. That was her forte. She would get riled up and he would support her in her fury before trying to calm her down gently.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeajkH8wEDR
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He didn’t want to risk driving her away. Not now. Not when she was the most important thing in his life.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKodcQGI9o
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfoV3PFJXi
Then it happened. She wasn’t answering his calls, which didn’t make sense at all. If she would be unable to take his calls, she would warn him in advance. He knew, of course, that situations did crop up unexpectedly. Nevertheless, he was unsettled. He kept getting the feeling that something was horribly wrong.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tLGqxVc25
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWVBla2TV7
He drove over to her house and rang the doorbell. Although he could hear sounds from inside, no one answered. So, he tried knocking on the door. When that failed, he went around to her bedroom, where the window was open like he knew it would be. He shimmied through it. The sound he’d been hearing, he could tell now, was sobbing. He dashed out of the room and followed the source of the sound to the dining room.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGvFFIu8ML
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WHMlGH7AJ
She was lying on the floor, curled up in a ball. He was afraid to touch her and hurt her even further. He called the paramedics and had her taken to the hospital where it was determined that two of her ribs had been broken. At first everyone was occupied with her injuries, but he knew he would be questioned about them. He didn’t know what to say. He was so afraid to tell the truth.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvnJm7UgD3
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnC8I9HkDK
But…but if he didn’t do it, this could happen again – or worse. The thought of her being hurt again was unbearable. She had to know he was doing it for her because he didn’t want anything to happen to her ever again.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nllK3YOyx
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So, when he was asked, he ended up telling them the truth.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEk7paQfHFH
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His fingertips and lips are tingling now. He licks his lips, amazed by the strange sensation and alternately flexes and clenches his fingers. His eyesight is flickering and it takes him awhile to focus on the clock. Seven minutes.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpepNRsWUx4
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Child protective services came when they were in honors chemistry. The class had changed seats, so he was no longer beside her. Still, when they came to get her, she shot him a murderous look he knew very well – one that had never been directed at him.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhYkRiyueh
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcZAe93LDw
He just wanted the chance to talk to her and to explain, but she completely cut him off. She didn’t return his calls and her eyes just slid past him in the school hallways. He couldn’t allow himself to give up. He couldn’t allow himself to apologize either. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was just trying to protect her.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptzpKvH6hB
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh3qv2gLx2
People stuck out their feet in hallways and laughed nastily when he tripped. They purposely shoved past him and knocked his books to the ground. He couldn’t believe people were ignoring the fact that her ribs had been broken. All through this, she pretended she didn’t see anything.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AQm1RdlTQ
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6yG2fdobG
He couldn’t believe how much it hurt. Things hadn’t affected him directly when he’d been in his bubble. But now that it had burst, there was nothing to blunt the pain. He didn’t want to give up, but he wasn’t strong enough. He couldn’t handle this kind of treatment, especially from her.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxwDTvptMI
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa3ZGWdF2Z
Eventually he gave up when the frostiness of her gaze didn’t change in the slightest. He hoped someday she would come to terms with what he did – that she’d understand and forgive him for it. For now, he didn’t know how to handle it. Instead of being in a bubble, he was in a box. He felt claustrophobic.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6E5BD42Ym
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He knew then that there was only one way out.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppdhlEfZGg
678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rlUOA0dnT
He rises to his feet and staggers, throwing out his hand against a pillar to catch himself. There isn’t anyone around, thankfully. He wants to be alone. It’s only appropriate. The Baby Bullet train is on its way. It doesn’t stop at this station, just speeds right through. That's what he’s waiting for. Thirty seconds. He sees the lights.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG2y0gydPC
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He conjures up her face and wills her to smile and to someday forgive him. Ten seconds. He takes a deep breath and lets go.678Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xeLCq1jGn
Penana
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