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It had just been Mum, Dad and me. The lucky three if you will. On turning fourteen, I was nervous to move onto the world of GCSEs and trying to work out what career I wanted to aim for. We never really kept secrets but sometime ago, there was a feeling starting to bug me.
Mum wasn't eating the same food as Dad and I at dinnertimes. She would one minute look ever so tired, the next, her cheeks would be radiate with joy. My best friend Lauren started to joke that she might be pregnant but I knew that could never be true. At age nine, I saw it all behind the cracks of the yellow bathroom door. One minute, the joy of seeing those two lines on a test stick. The next, my poor Mum throwing up into the loo and then being rushed to A+E in lots of pain. There was a baby, but not anymore.
I'll never forget the day of March 22nd 2018, of sitting in one of the high school science labs and waiting for the biology test to begin. That morning, I had packed five spare pens since I was feeling paranoid about all of them breaking or running out of ink. I knew the key facts and figures, so why did I not feel the poke on my shoulder from Lauren? The class looked towards me in bemusement. Was I in serious trouble?
I didn't even begin to process what was going on. I hadn't been late that term, I hadn't forgotten to hand in any pieces of coursework. It was a strange feeling, being made to pack up my belongings minutes after I had removed them from my rucksack. Heart-pounding, I walked quickly to the main reception where I was pulled to one side.
Mum was back in hospital, I was told and someone would be along to pick me up shortly.
I had so many questions but felt unable to find the answers. Although there had been some strange looks shown between my parents, nothing really felt wrong. Seeing my Aunt rush in and grab me frantically by the hand, I just had to go with it. She was in the best place, with the best possible people to help.
On the way to see Mum, I noticed my Aunt had dyed her hair back to blonde, a natural colour for all of the women in the family. I was always scared to go swimming in primary school, as little Ricky told me that pool water makes blonde hair turn green. I certainly didn't want to be Medusa.
Lauren was trying to text me, I knew that she would always find a way to keep in touch, no matter where or what she was doing. I generally didn't know what was going on. Nevertheless, no amount of emojis could take away the anxiety and nausea that was experiencing.
At the hospital, I was rushed into a white-walled room, where my Mum was lying back with eyes half closed. Dad took one look at my shocked face before pulling me in close for a hug. Something had seriously gone wrong.
It took a moment to realise, Mum's belly looked quite swollen underneath the bedding. She was no longer wearing her favourite pair of jeans or woolly sweater. Instead, covering her body was a lilac hospital nightgown.
"Is it? Has it?" I finally seized up the courage to ask.
Mum faintly replied back to my questions, "I'm so sorry Rose."
That's when I discovered the truth. Mum had been expecting a baby. The one thing that I had always secretly wanted. Many of my classmates claimed to have rows or play pranks with their siblings. I wanted a brother or sister to play games with, learn to cook with. Babysitting was something I had seen in movies and books, but never had I actually been able to become one.
Before anyone could react, one of the ward nurses burst in, "He's alright, he's going to be OK."
Mum broke down, shaking like a fragile tree in a thunderstorm. Dad held her close as I said, "Who's he?"
The nurse smiled, "Your baby brother. He's two months early but he's responding well to the oxygen."
I felt myself going weak at the knees, not realising that my Aunt tried to catch my body before it flopped to the ground. I was a big sister. For the first time in my life.
That was three months ago. Now at the end of the summer term, I get to be there to watch my baby brother be discharged from the ward and come home. The lucky four.
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