是咁的,話說前幾日同Michael同埋Simon去咗打邊爐,咁間嘢就任食嘅,但就規定如果剩底太多嘅就一百克一百蚊(台幣)咁計。
Michael號稱自己係大胃王;食放題可以由頭打到落尾嗰種,而Simon亦聲稱戰鬥力都有返咁上下。
我哋就叫咗個鴛鴦煲嚟食。咁一開始佢地就狂叫肥牛,羊肉,豬肉嗰啲值錢嘢嚟食。咁一開頭都冇咩事嘅,仲要喺咁飲汽水,啤酒,跟住狂出去拎雪糕食。
「哇你肉都未食完就拎雪糕,得唔得架你!」我當時已經有啲擔心咁問Michael。523Please respect copyright.PENANAc62O3J1Rl9
「頂,驚X咩,我喺森林系大胃王嚟架ma,唔喺唔信我呀ma?」Michael一面自信,成嘴雪糕咁答我。523Please respect copyright.PENANASdGTHWoIU2
我見佢咁有自信,就繼續食嗰啲芝心丸同冇人理嘅牛丸。523Please respect copyright.PENANAA70HeH1zFw
如是者過咗個半鐘之後就有waiter 行過嚟:「先生你們好喔~你們的用餐時間還剩半個小時,要再點食物嗎?」523Please respect copyright.PENANAUQvYUGPwSS
「每一種肉類各要兩份!」Michael諗都唔諗就同個waiter 講。523Please respect copyright.PENANA1J1XKKrc1a
呢個時侯Simon同我對望咗一秒就講:「我飽飽哋啦喎,你真係掂至好喎!」523Please respect copyright.PENANApS7Jgf9jEA
「驚X咩,我啱啱先開始!」Michael一面神氣咁講,跟住仲要遞多張落單紙出去。523Please respect copyright.PENANAiI0weWYwfF
「咁我出去拎雪糕啦~」我見佢咁有信心,就宣佈食甜品,準備收爐。
點知一返埋檯就出事啦,竟然成檯都喺肉,仲要有一大碟丸。我同Simon面面相覷,心知不妙。523Please respect copyright.PENANAnxPZekbaI1
「Jimmy ,大L鑊呢堆係上一張單㗎!」Simon 一字一頓,語帶緊張咁講。523Please respect copyright.PENANAkE92zyFne9
我坐低慢慢食雪糕,望咗Michael 一眼。
「先生,你們的用餐時間還有十五分鐘,提醒你們一下喔~如果有剩下的要一百克一百塊的計喔~」靚女 waitress突然出現仲要好溫柔咁講。
「望咩姐,,唔喺驚呀ma,你同我定啦,我一個人都可以KO哂佢地啦!煩!煩!煩!」Michael一路夾一路塞牛肉入口咁講。
但我明顯感覺佢速度慢咗,所以我都夾咗幾條金針菇助攻下。
點知,過咗一陣又有一堆肉送嚟,而且個waitress 唔知嚟攞景定贈慶,竟然特登拎咗個架比我哋分幾層放肉。
「提醒你們一下喔,你們還有五分鐘,吃不完一百克要罰一百塊喔~加油。」跟住仲要做咗個yes嘅手勢。
「頂,好L飽,你話你得架,搞埋佢!」Simon 放低筷子,一個事不關己嘅樣咁望住Michael。523Please respect copyright.PENANAGxIdjKpZvG
「咁我都算啦,你加油啦!」我放埋條金菇入口都宣佈放棄。523Please respect copyright.PENANAHCC9jzBRcs
Michael翻咗個白眼俾我咗,然後開始開技。523Please respect copyright.PENANA32kqf7jocw
佢竟然開始將啲生嘅肉塞落口度,跟住仲好似吞藥丸咁啤酒加芝心丸咁吞。523Please respect copyright.PENANAwyyxxc8Kfc
呢個時侯遠處嘅waiter開始拎咗個同埋個鎊出嚟。523Please respect copyright.PENANAsJVHRQCwGe
「望乜L嘢,幫我拎多幾鑵啤酒同可樂嚟啦!」Michael勃然大怒。523Please respect copyright.PENANAYPm59YglVW
跟住佢仲開始加速,一啖可樂一舊肥牛咁嚟,waiter 每行近一步就塞多一舊肥牛。523Please respect copyright.PENANA1WKIHk5htH
Michael嘅吞噬速度同佢哋行嘅速成乘正比,仲不斷催我哋拎多啲可樂。
如事者過咗三分鐘左右張檯就無咗九成嘢食。
「璋爺咁嘅勢我哋唔洗屎(死)啦"Simon俾左個手指公Michael。523Please respect copyright.PENANACbRrI989Dl
「講起屎上次返工有個笑話,話說嗰排新年;有個大陸妹同事突然同我講今年雞年要着咗多啲紅色衫,我就佢講有分生肖㗎喎姐姐。523Please respect copyright.PENANAOJ8yHasGiO
跟住佢話:咁屬屎要着咩色架。523Please respect copyright.PENANAAK8MmCIzDH
我話:屎?523Please respect copyright.PENANALnIewraLbJ
佢話:係呀屬屎要着咩色衫?523Please respect copyright.PENANAPLx1j9YZBt
我話:十二生肖無屎架喎姐姐!523Please respect copyright.PENANABYswsgBQ4g
佢話:哎呀,喺米奇老屎嗰個老屎呀!523Please respect copyright.PENANAK5M3WWtryx
我話:頂~米奇老鼠呀ma,嚟到香港就學好啲廣東話啦!523Please respect copyright.PENANALmVcBB2N0c
跟住成個倉都喺道笑,哈哈哈哈~!」523Please respect copyright.PENANAaTVd0R4aTS
我講到好high,仲大大聲咁笑。523Please respect copyright.PENANASlnlJTV0pR
,然而,Simon呆咗咁望住我。523Please respect copyright.PENANAM70N9EWYBk
「好好笑咩?on9!哈」佢懶cool喧笑咗一聲。
「咳!咳!咳!Diu,笑L死我啦!」Michael突然開始笑,跟著就係咁咳。523Please respect copyright.PENANARsXeF7wUKB
「那那那,笑還笑,唔好嘔呀!」我見狀即刻提醒佢。523Please respect copyright.PENANAa3Bc30MTqq
佢一路笑,一路掩住自己個口。523Please respect copyright.PENANAKPc2ROVupl
「好好笑~笑到我個肚~好辛苦,哈哈哈。」Michael 笑到失控。523Please respect copyright.PENANAsnmIoCgvUv
「喂!忍住呀。」Simon大叫。523Please respect copyright.PENANAKoPahKBhBd
與此同時,啲waiter都愈行愈近,仲笑淫淫咁望住我哋。
erk!erk eeeerk~523Please respect copyright.PENANAAjCdU5wBQJ
「喂,冷靜呀!頂~」Simon大叫。523Please respect copyright.PENANAJA31V8jAo6
「先生,用餐時間到囉!」靚女好嗲咁講。523Please respect copyright.PENANAWOw5535KvL
Michael笑到嘔晒啲嘢出泥,仲要咁啱嘔返落嗰半個鴛鴦鍋,啲牛丸,生嘅肥牛,魚皮鮫好完整咁嘔晒出嚟,個幾粒芝心丸仲要好囂張咁浮上嚟。我同Simon面面相覷,當堂呆咗。523Please respect copyright.PENANAJt7l9FCskn
「哇塞,先生,你們有半鍋還未有吃完欸!」靚女waitress奸笑地講,跟住仲一塊一塊肥牛咁畢上個鎊。523Please respect copyright.PENANAHtshkomFRB
「碌柒啦。」Simon擰住頭細細聲講。523Please respect copyright.PENANAw0IGhEhmkb
我睥咗Michael一眼。523Please respect copyright.PENANAzpUmSgiTiO
「不好意思....那些是...」我諗住提下個姐姐。523Please respect copyright.PENANA2hEwWgKKAh
「eeeeerk」523Please respect copyright.PENANATqTRInPc4T
我話口未完Michael又嘔埋另外個半個鴛鴦煲到。523Please respect copyright.PENANAAofbsAXcW5
「那現在是一整鍋囉~」靚女waitress笑住講。
我同Simom擘大個口得個窿,估唔到臨門一腳衰咗。523Please respect copyright.PENANAcfBKZZVyd5
最後,我哋比左成千蚊晒嘢食罰款同幾百蚊清潔費先走到。523Please respect copyright.PENANAqkAN4TZkmU
走個時聽到班台仔笑得勁大聲,話咩香港人原來咁無用,真係咩架都丟晒。以後行過呢間火鍋店都抬唔起頭。523Please respect copyright.PENANAgI44I2RGMq
BTW,大家下次打邊爐記得唔好講笑話。