A swirl of voices surrounded me as shadows danced over my eyelids.
Miss, please stay back. He needs space. Said one.
I just need to put something in his ear. Came another.
MISS PLEASE, he may have a concussion and he’s lost a lot of blood. We’re lifting him into the ambulance and driving him to the hospital.
I felt hands underneath me for a second and then I began to float upwards into the air. The fleshy pink of my eyelids became clear as light shone onto my face. The voices became fainter, a murmur in the background.
Lick him Cotton!
I’m not licking a ball of earwax Carl, I’m just not.
But they need to stay moist, otherwise they’ll fall apart.
If you care so much then you lick them, or even better stick it in your ear.
Good idea!
No, Carl! I didn’t mean it. We don’t know what will happen.
Then the voices disappeared, just as the light did with the sound of a pair of slamming doors.
***
When I opened my eyes again the world was monotone. Light grey walls. A black flower pot with a fake orchid rising from it in the windowsill, its white petals pressed against the window with a view to a cloudy sky and an asphalt car park. Looking down I saw crisp, off-white bed sheets, that crackled as I tried to move my arm.
“How are you feeling?” asked a doctor, standing at the end of my hospital bed looking down at a clipboard.
“How am I feeling?” I asked, pondering the nature of the question more than the answer to it. My face was throbbing badly around my eyes, and I could feel that perhaps some my ribs were broken. “I’m feeling a lot of pain.” I answered finally; my voice flat.
Something was different. It wasn’t as if I didn’t understand what was happening, but everything was dull. Meaningless. I was in pain, but that would pass. It was just a matter of waiting it out. Everything was more…logical.
The doctor almost laughed at my straight forward reply. “Completely understandable,” he said. “You were in a car crash. Do you remember?”
“I do.”
“And do you remember what happened? How you crashed?”
“I lost control. Of the car,” I paused for a second to think. “And myself.”
“You lost control of yourself?” The doctor asked, his eyes looking up from a clipboard.
“Yes. I wasn’t feeling well. I felt…muddled.”
“Muddled?”
“I was all over the place. I struggled to focus, but I’d often obsess. I was very anxious." I clarified.
"I see," said the doctor. “And how long had you been feeling like this?”
I thought about this a second. I hadn’t really had time to think about when things started to go downhill. There wasn’t much time for much at all. “It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly how long. I hadn’t been paying much attention to my state of mind at the time. But I began to stop noticing the smaller things around me the same day I began working at the Green Mermaid Hotel.”
“So, do you think your feelings are related to your work?”
“In part, yes. I was feeling stuck. I couldn't move myself forward. Or its more like I couldn't see what direction I was moving in. I’d been stressed at work, which was not really something I wanted to be doing. And I’d been finding less and less time for doing things that I really enjoyed.” The words came out of me with ease and little thought.
“I see. And how do you feel now?” asked the doctor again. “Emotionally, I mean.”
“I don’t feel anything,” I replied. “How long until I can leave the hospital doctor?”
“Well, your body needs to rest for at least another week, you were lucky to have gotten away with what you did. But I think you should stay a few days more than that even for us to observe you.”
“What happened to the woman I was with. Actually, there might have been a man too or possibly a cat.” I asked.
“Ah, yes. The paramedics have written down that there was another woman and her cat involved in the crash. She stated her name as Cotton?” he said, raising an eyebrow at the name. “Both were physically fine, but the woman had apparently been acting quite peculiarly. She told the paramedics she didn’t know you well, but she insisted she see you to put something in your ear. She most likely has a concussion, but she refused to be examined. They left her on the side of the motorway with the car. She said she'd see that it was dealt with.”
At that moment a man strode into the room, the door swinging behind him with a flourish. I recognised him as the owner of the hotel I worked in. He was immaculately groomed, as if he’d had been plucked straight out of a photo. Everyone knew who he was in fact, although no one knew his last name. He was just known by his social media tag of Alexei.
Despite looking picture perfect, his choice of clothing struck me as odd. He wore a pair of red swimming trunks, and a pair of matching red suede boating shoes. A white cotton shirt covered his torso, buttoned up to his chest, as if he was at the beach. Over the shirt was what looked like a gun holster, fitted around his shoulders, holding a mobile phone.
Even stranger, however, were his eyes. I’d never noticed before but where there should have been eyes, instead lay two perfectly round slices of cucumber.
“Hello doctor,” said Alexei. “I’ll take that medical sheet.”
The doctor acquiesced without a word, handing over his clipboard, not appearing to notice his attire or his eyes.
He stared down at the board through his watery gaze and thenlooked over at me with a sullen face. Walking across and grabbing my chin in a large hand he twisted my head round with a quick jerk, and peered down my ear,
“So, you’ve lost your inner child already.” He said.
I said nothing.
“Ugh,” he said. “I’m due for a trip to the sauna at three. I don’t have time for this. Where’s this Cotton woman?” he snapped.
“I don’t know,” I answered.
“What’s her last name.”
I don’t know.”
“Useless.” He growled. “Then I’ll have to send someone to find her then.”
He took his mobile out of the gun holster around his chest and held it up high above them. He moved in closer towards me, as he revealed a white tooth grin that reminded me more of a shark than human.
“Smile” he said, insincerely as he took the selfie.
Placing the phone to his lips he began to speak into the phone.
“Wishing you a quick recovery Tom #casualtyfridays. Who can help him get the word out to his friend Cotton and her black cat that he’s ok? Be sure to tag yourself with the Green Mermaid Hotel when you find her and let us know where you are, and you could win a free day’s pass to our exclusive spa.” He paused for a second and then said, "post comment".
He returned the phone to its holster, the screen facing inwards and the green light signifying the camera was on shining out towards me.
"Go home." He said. "If you see your friend Cotton, inform us immediately. If not, we'll see you at work tomorrow."
"But the doctor said I needed another week before I could leave the hospital." I replied.
"That can't be right, can it now doctor. Tom looks fit to leave to me. What do you think?"
"Yes, of course," the doctor replied, mindlessly. "He looks fine. Ready to be discharged."
Alexei turned to me and gave another shark like smile, his cucumber eyes staring blankly.
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