Oct. 1, 2014
I can't breathe.
I have to focus on my lungs, my chest, my throat. In, out, in, out. I have to coach myself, tell myself everything is alright. Why do I feel this way? Why? I wish I were normal, like all the calm, happy people passing me by and giving me awkward side glances on the street. I closed my eyes to block them out and I focused on the cool, clean air. In. Out. In. Out.
I've got to think logically. This is not who I really am. When I'm myself, my true self, I don't let stress attack me from the inside and threaten to make my brain black out. It's like there's an alien probing my skull, making me react in uncharacteristic ways. No, this isn't me, this only began after...
I wasn't like this before, when my memories didn't haunt me or chase me in my dreams. Back when I didn't have to look away every time I saw a mother with her child...When I didn't hate them all for being so god damn happy. I used to be one of them. I used to be a mother...only now my throat is seizing up, my chest is caving in, I'm trying not to scream, not to scream, not to scream.744Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9qyZF949M
I want my baby back.
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