THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL ABUSE, RAPE AND SELF HARM. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO ANY OF THE MENTIONED -DO NOT READ OR READ AT OWN RISK. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAww79SNxWP5
WARNING!!! THAT IT MIGHT BE HIGHLY TRIGGERING! READ AT OWN RISK.465Please respect copyright.PENANAL2T2oMotTC
Rain poured down heavily, hitting against the window and my eyes flew open. For a split second, I had forgotten that I was still in the hospital, than a group of nurses and a doctor hurried down the hallway. It was odd, there was never anything interesting happening on that particular floor and it made me wonder if someone died. It seemed that death had become something that constantly came to mind.465Please respect copyright.PENANAnL44ehoeGU
The room was dark and although Ms Laney saw to it that it was heated enough -chilliness still resided.465Please respect copyright.PENANASFB7Ni7AeT
I darted my eyes around frantically, I could hear someone breathing and a grunt caused me to sit up eyes fixated on the corner couch.465Please respect copyright.PENANAIL0K1qu90z
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"Are you in love with him?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAvOJ6HF7Cof
I reached for the bed lamp, tugging at the string and light invaded the room.465Please respect copyright.PENANAMCCKXE58Pq
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"Graeme, what are you doing, sitting in the dark? How did you get pass reception?" 465Please respect copyright.PENANArWR8wQNF3g
Graeme stood up and only than did I see the intravenous therapy bags hanging on a pole. I traced the syringes and my eyes rested on the needle inside of Graeme's arm. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAyZZ4dpaPgg
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"What is going on?" My heart pounded and I could feel my tears surfacing.465Please respect copyright.PENANAGTe861zGgB
Graeme stood up groaning and I flew from my bed to assist him. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAknQDsmlkzM
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"You shouldn't be here, where is your room?" I gently placed my shoulder on his back.465Please respect copyright.PENANAOIN41ZrKjV
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"I needed to see you." He said breathless and his free hand flew to his stomach allowing another groan to escape from his mouth. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAZCcBdVRxBI
We reached the small distance to my bed as I helped him get up.465Please respect copyright.PENANA0bMfn0aMi5
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"Graeme, what is going on?" I asked once more and this time, I couldn't suppress the knot in my throat anymore.465Please respect copyright.PENANARygY17gM6X
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"Baby don't cry," His voice gentle and sympathetic -something that didn't help at all. "I'll be fine." 465Please respect copyright.PENANAwLsKcAwafR
I walked to the other side, whithout contemplating -I got in next to him. Shikana's blanket laid on the ground and had been replaced by a grey and white fury one. Graeme opened his arm and I took the invitation, laying my head on his blue checked chest. I didn't care what it would look like if anyone was to enter my room as the halls outside was silent, every now and than, a cleaner or nurse passed by -never once stopping to peek to peek inside.465Please respect copyright.PENANAwBocD8LgcK
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner about this, it's just -I thought it wouldn't get to this point." He confessed, rubbing my shoulder.465Please respect copyright.PENANAIORCmaFMXc
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"I'm so confused Graeme. Promise me you're not going to die, right."465Please respect copyright.PENANA4QioTVfO4r
I didn't mean to -it slipped yet, it didn't mean that I didn't want to hear him say it himself. I waited nervously but Graeme never answered.465Please respect copyright.PENANAvvYRmjGx7Z
"You're not, right Graeme?" I cried softly, his pajamas wetting underneath my face.465Please respect copyright.PENANAOHue81HYut
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"I can't promise you, Kaye but I know what I want."465Please respect copyright.PENANAQFPZd8XYbE
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To die? My mind feared.465Please respect copyright.PENANAZmerYaqgRX
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"I couldn't stand seeing you with Jae -at school, in his arms, all those rumours about you guys -it drives me crazy."465Please respect copyright.PENANAoo1nKH4m5g
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"You're the one who didn't want anyone knowing about us, Graeme. Nothing happened between Jae and I, the rumours, well they seem to be coincidental every time."465Please respect copyright.PENANAZT7MEZPDWN
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"I lied." He hissed, again grabbing his stomach. "I lied about people ruining something good. I couldn't care less what they think of me but I knew if something like this was to happen -you'd be the girl who's boyfriend died. Do you know what Bloomfield Gym could do to your last two years of highschool -it would be miserable."465Please respect copyright.PENANAgtvh658089
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"Graeme, I've seen my childhood bestfriend hang from a tree, I've had a man touch me in ways a twelve year old shouldn't have been, two men pinned... My reputation is the least thing I'm worried about. I want you and I don't care what people say and please, stop talking like this. You're not going to die."465Please respect copyright.PENANAvkRLxQhDll
"I might...it's bad this time. My kidneys are giving in -gallstones they say."465Please respect copyright.PENANAT24WSgUXNG
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"You can have it taken out and you'll be fine." I suggested.465Please respect copyright.PENANAXLTlfZ09A2
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"I did but it came back and now they can't do another surgery. There's nothing left to do for me, Kaye." 465Please respect copyright.PENANAxsMzJot8bg
The room fell silent and it felt odd how quickly I became familiar with Graeme. Than, remembering the card he'd given me during Valentine's week -If you knew me, you'd know I'm incapable of not breaking your heart. Was this what he meant?465Please respect copyright.PENANAnK4JQZNlsg
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His scent was different -no English Blazer, no cannabis cologne only something I've smelled before. Than, Graeme picked up the sailboat next to my bed and held it out, examining it. My stomach tossed, I felt bad having thought romantically about Jae just earlier but it was hard to deny those feelings when it surfaced so often, so deeply.465Please respect copyright.PENANA847YdttezB
"He's in love with you."465Please respect copyright.PENANAxNE1sRQI2p
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"Graeme, don't." I buried my face into his neck.465Please respect copyright.PENANAm1mPVUlE5N
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"It's true Kaye and I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that if..." He heaved a sigh.465Please respect copyright.PENANAB23dNXrJum
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" -but you're not."465Please respect copyright.PENANA03Y4kbXwmM
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"He's not sick, Kaye."465Please respect copyright.PENANAvfqjimAnu3
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"I don't care. What I feel for you is entirely different than what I do for Jae. He knows about us and he respects it. I told him that I choose you."465Please respect copyright.PENANAh651Ba91Fz
Graeme Yorkley kissed my forehead and a pain shot through my heart. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAmbvWc2tGHB
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Whatever had I done to deserve all the misfortune in my life? Why me? -the question I had found myself ask a thousand of times. I was drowning and no sailboat could save me. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAlh0IhXql58
"I was twelve years old when our gymnast's doctor started to sexually abuse us." I could feel Graeme's heart throb in his chest, he caught his breath and slowly exhaled -I suppose in order to make me feel less uncomfortable.465Please respect copyright.PENANAvZ0RzZTkGm
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"Marigold Prep is one of the best gymnastics school and they only hired the best. Every dreadful checkup went unsupervised because he was honored at Marigold -his father had been the gymnast's doctor before him. All the parents trusted him but little did they know what he was doing to us on Thursdays." I didn't cry but I was nervous to finally come clean to Graeme. Finally talking about it in person.465Please respect copyright.PENANAS4l36NxPFn
"Did you tell anyone?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAhX6IVcUCq0
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"He told us how we were going to bring shame disgrace upon our families. He said no one would believe us and if we talk he'd do much more. We were so scared...never eating, hardly sleeping -our parents thought it was out of focus. One night, the James' had a fund raiser for the Marigold Charity Fund and I begged my parents not to go since Barry would be there too. I couldn't bare to tell them my protest was because of him, so we ended up going.465Please respect copyright.PENANAqlyEfKqDOe
It was so cold out that night and already dark when we arrived at the fundraiser. I remember his eyes -dark, cold and empty just like the night." I shivered and Graeme pulled me closer.465Please respect copyright.PENANARqmF7i7ZIf
"Kaye, I'm so sorry...you don't have to."465Please respect copyright.PENANAJQteAU4pRi
I looked up at him, "I need to...I haven't." He kissed my forehead again, and allowed his lips to remain for a few more seconds.465Please respect copyright.PENANAB8tcveBEl9
"It doesn't change how I feel about you." He said and I snuggled deeper into his neck.465Please respect copyright.PENANAYRDuemFlWN
"I knew he got to Oakley because it was the look he always had afterwards. When I went to look for her, she was nowhere to be found so I went to into the woods where I knew she always hid or went to play her guitar. I was so scared -I could feel something wasn't right. When I reached the big oak tree, I only saw her puffy blue dress. The worst thing about it was that I didn't run to tell anyone. I thought about him doing all those horrible things to us. When I finally came to my clear conscious state I ran to tell Mrs James but I never told on Barry. Oakley wasn't the first who killed herself and I didn't know she wanted to either. I wish I'd known."465Please respect copyright.PENANAOBRA1zuiLD
A pain made Graeme cry out loud and the door flew open.465Please respect copyright.PENANAxFTwbpeSiV
We're caught, was all that I could think and when I stared to really examine the silhouette I knew. Speaking of the devil -he came to pay me a visit that night and Graeme Yorkley sat confused and incapable of protecting me at that very moment.465Please respect copyright.PENANAFH6xOQ6cSZ
- - -465Please respect copyright.PENANAPmun3v5Dia
To be continued...465Please respect copyright.PENANANIva47RkrI
"What do you want?" I said as every emotion surfaced.465Please respect copyright.PENANAhvCVYO3n1g
It was too dark to make out his face but I would recognise him any day. It was impossible not to, seeing he'd stolen the youth and purity of a little girl forever.465Please respect copyright.PENANAOKcjElbV6J
"Hey creep, you're just going to stand there and say nothing? Want do you want?" Graeme said after a while.465Please respect copyright.PENANAHjLkKYO29z
"Wrong room." I could feel my hair raise as his unwanted familiar voice spoke those words -and the room suddenly felt cold again once he closed the door behind him.465Please respect copyright.PENANAP6lgUoZn9Z
I shrugged back into the covers, my heart racing faster and faster -I swear I could hear it beating in my ears. Than, Graeme laid back again and an indistinct groan made me realise he was still sick and it was unfair how I was weighting him with all my baggage. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAfBmFb9SUAV
"There's that look again. What's on your mind, Kaye?" He gently said again.465Please respect copyright.PENANAwfaekBbgtK
"Nothing..." I gradually replied and cleared my throat, "it's just...I was wondering how long for would you be here?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAN53ylNguqe
"I don't know yet, hopefully not long." He said awkwardly.465Please respect copyright.PENANA39TyfYjk6n
"Well, tomorrow everything changes at Bloomfield Gym, at least for me. Maybe, well...I thought that maybe the day after tomorrow -if you're capable we could give Quiet Kath a little surprise."465Please respect copyright.PENANAayvooHh3zS
"You mean like...go to school together?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAv2NOspKHye
My heart jumped at the sound of him outing those words, "Only if you want to."465Please respect copyright.PENANAN0sGwOVIQh
"I'm sick, Kaye. Are you sure you want all of this on you? It will make me happy but I'm also thinking about you."465Please respect copyright.PENANAyHf91XEHZ3
"I'm positive that I want this." I said almost immediately. "I want to feel what it's like to be happy...for once not have my entire existence defined by my past, you know."465Please respect copyright.PENANA1NVDh8eRNH
"I know." He said softly, than pulled me closer to him. Graeme's heart beat unrhythmic, I couldn't quite tell whether he was scared or nervous about the outcome.465Please respect copyright.PENANAS7URpsOWHm
"I suppose she'll have something else to talk about too. You'll have to drive, seeing you don't have a car it'll have to be mine."465Please respect copyright.PENANApUyXJMNk1f
"Your pickup?"465Please respect copyright.PENANA434UCXiAD6
"My granddad's Land Rover."465Please respect copyright.PENANAshIxOUB3hJ
My eyes grew big and I shot up, staring straight into Graeme's arms. "That's...no Graeme...I really don't think I..."465Please respect copyright.PENANAVvqzNWamvD
"I want you to, just so people can actually see that this is serious."465Please respect copyright.PENANAkDejsUNQ0Q
"Did you do that with Alexa?" Jealousy suddenly took over.465Please respect copyright.PENANA1cJ66rPZcL
"No." He said almost instantly. "You and Alexa are two entirely different people, Kaye." He frowned and slowly sat up leaning against the headrest. "I don't want you ever comparing the two of you. What Alexa and I had was friendship before romance, everything was great but we were also fourteen years old, too immature for love.465Please respect copyright.PENANA8gqsM7AOhn
Things between us are different, we had chemistry before words and this connection it doesn't need work. Look, I was smitten by Alexa, yes but God knows I'm madly in love with you."465Please respect copyright.PENANA7aPOxto7bI
Hearing him say those words made me want him in ways my body was ashamed to react on. Lust had ruined my life and now, I couldn't bare to allow it to kiss Graeme like the moment insisted. I laid my head on his chest and scooped my arm around his waist. He gently put his arm around my back, gliding his hand respectfully up and down my back. 465Please respect copyright.PENANA83gR8PhFwz
I couldn't think about anything really, I only enjoyed the warmth and comfort from Graeme than, Barry Wiggins who came by just seconds before.465Please respect copyright.PENANAZUgONfh9ru
"The man that did all those things to us...he's back." I mindlessly found myself say.465Please respect copyright.PENANACoy7u3f8GB
"What!? Where?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAjK4Fn6NzXQ
"Here at Bloomfield Gymnasium..."465Please respect copyright.PENANAuQzsFxuSox
"-we have to tell principal Johnson or I'll kill him myself. Why haven't you told me this before?"465Please respect copyright.PENANA9v0rXV9PBb
"I was scared because there's so much more to all of this. Remember that day I was talking to Kath and you found me on the side of the road?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAvxZsl9xmEt
"Yeah, the same day Alexa ruined our time together." He rolled his eyes dramatically.465Please respect copyright.PENANAQJnK6eUsl8
"She was struggling to carry all her things and it fell so I offered to help pick them up. One specifically was a picture of her family. Do you know them?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAQfgCSR2ATY
"Yeah...we've had a couple of parties there. Her parents are surprisingly pretty cool."465Please respect copyright.PENANASN7T7hVVwU
"Her stepfather, the doctor."465Please respect copyright.PENANAYj9JtesBM6
Graeme caught his breath and I could see his hand transform to a fist.465Please respect copyright.PENANAeTRIsipfKj
"There's nothing principal could probably do now. He asked me before if I knew Barry but I told him I couldn't remember."465Please respect copyright.PENANABq4oeHGpjN
"Why?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAS23G5P7nui
"Wiley was right there. He doesn't even know."465Please respect copyright.PENANAPVgTNpDS9x
"Baby...you have to tell him."465Please respect copyright.PENANAHp6ILXxdwd
"I can't. I don't trust him right now and I'd appreciate it if you don't tell him either. He'll find out what happened with the rest of Bloomfield Gym."465Please respect copyright.PENANA65YuH2QQuH
"What do you mean?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAwe4EAiszt1
"Ms Donahue gave me the If They Knew Me article and seeing I hadn't even participated I did a little something different with it. 465Please respect copyright.PENANA5kHk8n86Np
After the story of Oakley made its rounds and people suddenly decided that's why I'm a 'Stone Diva', I saw Ms Donahue's gesture as an opportunity to come clean about this. All of it, so the only question now is are you ready for all of it? Are you sure you want to show up with me on your arm?"465Please respect copyright.PENANAOEio8Eny3X
Graeme looked down at me and kissed my head, "nothing in this world would make me more happier."465Please respect copyright.PENANAO7AbkH3Cy3
I smiled and allowed the comfortable silence to seize the dark room I was sharing with Graeme Yorkley. My mind however, was incapable of going to rest. The second night I spend with Graeme Yorkley, I wasn't stoned. I lay awake until the wee hours of the morning, thinking of everything and everyone while listening to Graeme snore. 465Please respect copyright.PENANAd3FhYoYD4k
Although I couldn't sleep -it was still perfect.
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