沖繩一役,那新加坡男生一席話繞在心頭,重重纏上了蠢蠢欲動的主意,五月,六月,七月,破繭而出。以送自己一份生日禮物為名,報了潛水班。304Please respect copyright.PENANAhHBlMKwusS
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一切只是藉口。304Please respect copyright.PENANAnhfUmWwLgx
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我當然清楚,所以才找上最瑰麗堂皇的藉口堵住我媽的嘴。304Please respect copyright.PENANAA0ofhGgA39
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「別吵,這是我的自費生日禮物。」304Please respect copyright.PENANACB0pBN37Mb
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常言道:無仇不父子。我跟我媽大概就是女的版本。304Please respect copyright.PENANAEfvTqKLoMm
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我媽總是很怕我玩水上活動,我爸倒是聽我要去滑浪才有反應,對擅水性的我來講這種怕很莫名其妙。「欺山莫欺水。」這句老話也成為了他們反對的理由。304Please respect copyright.PENANAqfOmQMRAwd
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其實我知道不無道理。304Please respect copyright.PENANAdub4dergVX
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溺水死的人往往亦是擅水性的人。因為無懼,也因為習慣,繼而一心二用、三用,忽略了潛在危險。那蟄伏於暗處的毒蛇將看準時機,在你自曝其短時,牠忍一時讓你被興奮蒙蔽雙目,退一步任你在身邊得意忘形躺下,當致命點滿身露出時利齒狠狠咬噬,恐慌擴張你的毛孔,毒即躥入骨髓。304Please respect copyright.PENANAF8DJBnkltw
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當我在看書本理論時,我已經跟朋友說:「他講的危險在我來講不算什麼,我很大機會因此死在海裡。但請記緊,我甘願。」 朋友苦笑望著我,無話可說。
對於大海眷戀我不欲再多費筆墨解釋,畢竟在《大海,我的母親!》已將話說盡。直到同學一句:「你怎麼想學潛水?」才驚覺我對他人學潛水的原因了無興趣。304Please respect copyright.PENANAy7wnMD3eMw
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當然,沒天真的以為大家都因為喜歡才報名。只是同時也不在意別人因為什麼而報名。304Please respect copyright.PENANATLC9lbaEmQ
我的目標筆直且堅定一如千年高杉木直指天際,風吹亦改不了方向。人生苦短,世界無道,一想到終身亦得鞠身聽某君意見,側耳受某人教晦,慢慢地顧慮太多,迷失方向,成了園景松樹,曲撓屈折,便無法忍受。故此,我不愛別人左右我,自己同樣不欲為難他人,乾脆觀察細聽。304Please respect copyright.PENANAo3B5odHiiR
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「有後悔學潛水嗎?」考試後教練邊啃著泰式豬扒飯邊問。304Please respect copyright.PENANAN92WUwe8pA
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年少輕狂時,我會答:「後悔?我的字典裡沒有後悔。」我爸總說:「做了決定就別後悔!」將它套入我固執的個性中,一如完美盔甲。但人生總有遺憾!有時你難免會想——304Please respect copyright.PENANAfOu1raGlB6
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如果當日沒做這決定一切會不一樣嗎?304Please respect copyright.PENANAffSMcFuNxW
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如果當日我沒對你坦誠,今日我們依舊親密如初嗎?304Please respect copyright.PENANAfFDeVfVaSv
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如果當日我講話婉轉些許,今日你我就能和睦相處嗎?
但人生沒那麼多如果。304Please respect copyright.PENANA6shMBC481e
甚至如果真的發生了,結局也許差距不大。人和人之間不盡是誤會,有時候根本性的問題擋在關係之間許久,只是我們視若無睹。時機不對,問題未解,怎麼轉換選擇亦是無果。304Please respect copyright.PENANAPSwCE24wm4
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我只答了句:「我很清楚自己要什麼。」304Please respect copyright.PENANA4PXWx8qKI7
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教練點點頭,啜了口椰青「那你為什麼學潛水?因為沒人有礙著你,可以清靜思考嗎?」304Please respect copyright.PENANADOczP20hPW
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聽罷,我半頓。304Please respect copyright.PENANAhrH8tfgL6H
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這問題我倒是沒想過。倒是今天同學上海時講了句:「在海底很適合冥想。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAgkyBlC3WuE
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思考不在於環境,在於傾聽與回應內心。304Please respect copyright.PENANAHeXkiaQqSW
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我沒將想法告之教練,轉而告訴了他我在沖繩的經歷,教練點點頭,反向問了我好幾個問題,言語間我隱隱望見自己在他心裡的形象:先想後做真需要才問,惜字如金。304Please respect copyright.PENANAZqHFvMbrQO
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「其實這樣不就和潛水很相同嗎?」我笑了笑,拌著青檸梳打「海底生物活命本事在於處變不驚,一不動,一動則快狠準。」304Please respect copyright.PENANA4jYXaMXSqU
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教練笑了。304Please respect copyright.PENANA39oBlLdTy1
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對話也纏在腳腕下沉。304Please respect copyright.PENANAH5J3GXQwz9
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下沉,冒泡,隨水流飄揚。