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有時候我會跌入舒適誤區,將一切理所當然視之為自然不過的事,如:呼吸,吃過東西自然會排出,通宵達旦到極限會倒頭大睡,或--418Please respect copyright.PENANAhH2b742NfL
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投身大海亦處之泰然。418Please respect copyright.PENANAH7gCAlexFn
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左側的中國女孩緊緊捏著扶手,血色早被她落在陸上,隨著快艇漸行漸遠,靠著珊瑚紅的胭脂維持剩餘不多的勇氣。「我好緊張……」她一再講述出船以後惟一的話。人在異地,萍水相逢,自問已講盡安慰的話,我只好報以鼓勵的笑容,歪頭望向前進的方向,目的地遙遙可見了。418Please respect copyright.PENANAJUBRetVbHy
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「你看起來一點也不怕……」右側的韓國女孩用蹩腳的英文搭話,笑笑摩擦了一下自己的大腿,又問:「你也是第一次潛水嗎?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAI1GY0pOcoi
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這樣的話從上車到上船,由接送的工作人員到助手也問了我們許許多次,同團的人我都數得出多少個是首次,多少個是已有經驗。有時我很煩厭要把問題答得太多次,明明你本來就對答案不怎麼好奇,更沒興趣,怎麼要轉過頭又追問好延續話題?418Please respect copyright.PENANAawoPQ0sFXe
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人好像非得要和身邊的人講話不可,陌生的要認識一下,熟悉的要交談一下,生怕靜下來只有無盡的尷尬,就天南地北也講一下才算是盡責。盡什麼責?我們本來就沒義務去談天說地,做人隨心些不好嗎?418Please respect copyright.PENANA2uygU6DBoC
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然而,我沒把心底的想法講出來。生而為人免不了種種繁瑣,到底也把盔甲穿得緊緊的。418Please respect copyright.PENANAcFTM4g6SWj
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「 不,小時候試過一次了。」帶著浪花濺上臉的笑意,我看出她的緊張,嘗試安撫她說:「其實很好玩,不用擔心。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAsyddLzfa0m
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「 我第一次……這個……」她拍拍面前的氧氣筒,嘗試移動它不果,又說:「好重。」418Please respect copyright.PENANArgVcRELP83
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「 Nah。」我聳聳肩,比比手勢不以為然說:「下水以後它什麼也不是。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAf8JSE6dyWI
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光頭教練跟浮潛的韓國旅客講解完以後闊步走來,女孩飛快地以韓文與之對談。我一句也聽不懂,可從她的肢體語言來看,大概是說著自己害怕,而那光頭教練也如願伸手摸摸她的頭安慰。對如願,作為女性,他望她的眼神、和同伴瞄向她後交換的笑意讓人不太舒服。可既然女孩並不認為那是問題,欣然繼續和他攀談,我亦不好說什麼,乾脆望著鬱藍的大海。418Please respect copyright.PENANAtb5qwSDxk4
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海風呼呼刮來,偶爾鹽腥的水珠佻皮彈來,驅走為數不多的睡意。我那雙迷濛的眼眸變得清徹,海平線與天空揉合成一,碎落其中的星光點亮了黑啡眼瞳深處的雀躍。418Please respect copyright.PENANAxOIpEBOuV4
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「快到了。」會說中文的助教跨過人群走來,他先檢查了一下氧氣筒,又提起四指粗的腰帶抬頭望我「緊張嗎?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAbF9YdHNJZP
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「一點也不。」418Please respect copyright.PENANARGcR2dY0s8
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說實話,我急不及待跳下去。418Please respect copyright.PENANAPcZrol5SrF
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「 看來也是。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAEPiErbna1V
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他露出雪白的牙齒,是因為膚色黑黝嗎?這笑容太陽光了吧!418Please respect copyright.PENANAf2nG9mxHmP
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腰間索帶一收緊,我下意識挺直腰418Please respect copyright.PENANAnudhmEXNY0
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「 太緊了嗎?」他馬上問道。418Please respect copyright.PENANAWOb1s2L8oo
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我搖搖頭,未幾船停了,他再三檢查好我的裝備,光頭教練對他講了幾句日文,他對我燦笑道:「好好享受吧! 」然後就聽命帶浮潛的客人離開。418Please respect copyright.PENANAHMt4tIe43x
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等了片刻,另一個會中文的教練搞不定那中國女孩,沉下水以後她害怕得過度換氣,再浮上來時胭脂沖得一乾二淨,徒留蒼白,手緊緊抓著繩索不願放。韓國女孩早沒了蹤影,而剩下只會日文的教練劈劈啪啪和中文教練講了許多,然後中文教練也匆匆忙忙帶上裝備。418Please respect copyright.PENANA0Cu0HMmKqO
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「沒事的,他下來陪你了。」我指指已穿好裝備隨時卜通下水的教練,揚聲安慰她。418Please respect copyright.PENANAMhlJY4iSWY
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「不行,我很怕!很怕!」418Please respect copyright.PENANAAzefC4QAhU
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白沫紛紛冒來招手,輕擁著被恐懼吞噬的她,未幾,中文教練亦從旁升起,扶住她的手臂。418Please respect copyright.PENANASqoP9cykHS
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「準備好了嗎?」教練以日式英語打斷我的注視,氧氣筒亦終於重重坐到我身側。418Please respect copyright.PENANAUXiERiTsPG
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「早準備好了。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAuxdM3GsncU
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「這樣啊!」把所有裝備都給我背上,他扶著我的肩倒數「三、二、一。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAtsQhuTZ1Ds
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卜漉、卜漉、卜漉。418Please respect copyright.PENANAMBKZ6JQKoi
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白沫蜂擁而來,抹走了界限,沖走了重量,揚起了三千煩惱絲,一切都飄揚在淡藍的海洋裡。418Please respect copyright.PENANAffFvVmFK0e
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慈愛的母親輕抱著每個回歸家裡的孩子,在她的懷抱沒有天空沒有地面,你喜歡可以把啞白的船底當成雲,亦可以將腳下的珊瑚當成牆,世界再不分上下,苦惱再不分輕重,俗套的社會規例無法束縛手腳。418Please respect copyright.PENANAqO2u4NSoSK
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「走吧!孩子。」她用著空靈的聲線安撫摯愛,擋卻一切雜亂的滋擾。一如在岸上讓風帶來她的軟語,重覆說著:「沒事了。來吧!我的孩子!」418Please respect copyright.PENANAf6XtGjutWp
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我依從教練的指示輕輕拉著從船身垂下的臍帶,確定我一切安好﹑無用擔心,教練又轉身幫忙中國女孩。氣泡不斷包裹著上上下下的他們,恐懼打亂了女孩的節奏,四肢在水中亂舞,沒拘束亦無依靠,這種沒回頭路的自由顯然打動不了她。中文教練把她提上水,講日文的教練也迫於無奈跟上去。周遭的人群不曾察覺異樣,那些母親前世孕育過的孩子,從靈魂深處記緊她的、將她忘卻了的、聽見聽不見呼喚的都一一順著不同船隻的臍帶進入她深處。我也情不自禁悄然放鬆手腳,任身體龜速下沉。418Please respect copyright.PENANA7qlwGFSm3C
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「母親,為什麼她聽不見你的呼喚。」女孩和教練在角力,時而下沉潛來,又時而急著上升,浮沉間的掙扎是我不曾擁有的,我禁不住問:「母親啊!為什麼她不懂你的好?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAFMdNgjQRSz
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日本教練發現我不著痕跡想隨同伴而去的傾向,二話不說向我游來,黑色的手套伸向我,招了招,示意我別亂走。我不情願被牽扯,卻也不樂意迷失在異國的大海當中,踢踢腳便隨上。寬大的手一牽上我,便著力一扯,為救生衣充氣,迫我浮起,海風直撲上臉。418Please respect copyright.PENANAgAg9z7gyzI
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「噗。」我吐出呼吸器,看著女孩搖頭快要哭的樣子百般無奈。418Please respect copyright.PENANAbFIjNB6ZIr
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教練用日文和另一個教練交涉,他又用中文跟她講了許久許久,看來還會等很久……418Please respect copyright.PENANArsRbhSi9hW
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「但有關係嗎?」想著我扔身躺在海面,迎面望著青天薄雲「已經等了很久了。」日光躲在其後,一環七色雲彩蓋在其上「真美。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAAprvTu4sOP
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「你在看什麼?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAm167QAkbLe
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我沒回答同伴,駐足在空地的中央,橘紅的天空翻起了一波又一波雲浪,碎白的浪花順著風一下接一下刷向我的視野。疲憊不已的軀幹無法動彈,定睛望著那熟悉的景象。暮夏的晚風輕柔捲來,帶著秋天的涼意,夾著花草揮灑每寸生命的決絕,還有……418Please respect copyright.PENANACjetaBwA5d
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我閉上眼深深吸了口氣。418Please respect copyright.PENANAPrDHNTTTRs
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「你怎麼了?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAsLlYDbByhc
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「是海。」熱淚在眼眶打轉,我咬住牙關禁止它抖震,再睜眼來雲浪連綿不斷拍來「是大海的氣味。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAlaIHfbHA7B
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暮夏的晚風帶來母親的氣息,哪怕淡薄得像清水一樣,獨特的氣息卻勾起了思鄉的情懷。418Please respect copyright.PENANAPwB7drZKfp
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「 累了嗎?」她依舊溫柔地問道,不單沒怪責孩子久離不返,寬容地向我們招手道:「累了就回家吧!回來吧!」418Please respect copyright.PENANAnR8MAJ7Ne0
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教練抓住我的手腕,猛然回神,既沒雲浪,亦無晚風,軍機穿這那環彩虹,拉出一條筆直的尾巴,而彩虹淡淡染在其上。418Please respect copyright.PENANANm6PBFlDrv
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「走吧!」418Please respect copyright.PENANAruV8Jggwm1
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沒留戀湛藍的天空,亦沒探究中國女孩的後續,義無反顧一翻身,扔下陌生人、現世,這次再不用紮根原地,我是確切回鄉了。418Please respect copyright.PENANANIJ5Yt1Dvp
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幾尾與鯧魚相若的魚兒擺著尾游來,鮮黃的尾鯕略過眼角,順之側頭,日光折在銀白的魚身,映出一道道不明顯的直間。418Please respect copyright.PENANATGgkIaWsF3
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「你來晚了。」418Please respect copyright.PENANACOCDcy6Jvf
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牠們扭個身,伴在左側,隨著我們的步伐下游。418Please respect copyright.PENANAxC0mt24ftZ
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「的確花了點時間。」418Please respect copyright.PENANA0qJpbLFBXJ
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水壓把陸地強加於身的防衛也擠走,卜漉卜漉。418Please respect copyright.PENANAJvWygBa5Zd
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胸腔的悶氣不自控由嘴巴排出,卜漉卜漉卜漉。418Please respect copyright.PENANAEQDdC1lxd0
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蘇眉、珊瑚魚,那些我叫的出、認得出、不認識的魚兒悠閒自得在海裡飛翔,偶爾在珊瑚後躍出嚇人,偶爾裝個樣靜止半空,又忽爾敏捷似箭飛走。418Please respect copyright.PENANAVyDDze3nVc
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吸--卜漉卜漉。418Please respect copyright.PENANAV3fjoMn202
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吸--卜漉卜漉卜漉。418Please respect copyright.PENANAkG16f4GouC
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「你好慢。」牠投訴著,擺擺尾巴帶著同伴前進「跟上來吧!」418Please respect copyright.PENANAHkscEjLZHF
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我輕輕踢著腳,蛙鞋撥弄著水,教練按著我的步伐加速,比手勢問我「可以嗎?」「可以,可以,快點吧!」我的吶喊只有母親聽得見。教練見我比了個OK的手勢,即提起相機,對著我拍了幾張,又示意我比勝利手勢。我敷衍比了比,目光又隨著魚兒走去。418Please respect copyright.PENANAAtM8YOCmPs
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「你前世大概是條魚。」 摯友笑著看我,又搖搖頭說:「我可不像你這麼需要水。」418Please respect copyright.PENANA4z1Fn7A5vX
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需要水嗎?我沒想過這問題,等同我沒想過有人沒辦法享受在水裡的時刻。無依無靠的自由令他們如此恐慌,我卻是如此棧戀母親的舒適呵護,惟有在她我胸懷才能卸下了一切,不再去思考凡俗間的一切。418Please respect copyright.PENANAh8u5BfryOf
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「我可以是鯨魚嗎?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAY7REdwlfqt
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「你指重量嗎?你沒這資格。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAgM9Oy0WfYk
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我笑開去,翹起二郎腿說:「之於大海,鯨魚只是個任性的小寶寶。」418Please respect copyright.PENANANODFQ59Fac
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對。敞大、廣闊的懷抱中,再重噸位的鯨魚亦不算什麼。於是不知天高地厚,只知愛可包容萬物的孩子任性得為了觀看初成的大陸,毅然遠走他鄉。當夢想被現實磨滅得一乾二淨,滿身都是傷痕、負擔,牠又拖著疲憊不已的軀殼回到母親的懷抱啜泣。那些不甘、那些痛苦的淚水母親都一一承載,細細拭去。418Please respect copyright.PENANAcp9zCCYf8V
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「沒關係的。」不曾指責孩子的魯莽,不曾嘲諷孩子破碎的心靈,她一如既往的抱緊被陸地視為巨大的怪獸,將她的小寶寶抱緊軟語鼓勵「你已經做得很好了。」418Please respect copyright.PENANALNzNL8H18n
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就算孩子好了傷疤忘了痛,就算那顆好勝的心依舊不改,三不五時浮上海面呼吸空氣,窺視陸地,回味那冒險時光,心野得時刻盤算再度遠走,她依然接納著牠。418Please respect copyright.PENANAGZAO5JE0Tx
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「這計劃聽起來不錯,不試一下又怎麼知道會不會成功。去吧!」不強留去意已決的孩子,只擱下一句:「累了就回來,你知道回家的路。」418Please respect copyright.PENANA5B8vh54TpF
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教練比比手勢要我回頭看,日光透過洞口,幽藍的光芒像UFO的出入口一下迎面從我一路游來的洞口照來。聽說全世界只有兩個地方的洞窟會透出這樣通透動人的藍光,讓世人為之驚艷……418Please respect copyright.PENANAQWTrnJiAO3
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「就像要呼喚你回陸地一樣。」418Please respect copyright.PENANABwoZnjwTlH
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「孩子啊!」母親淺笑的聲音如鈴清脆,托著我的屁股推了一把「稍作休息以後,還得振作前行,不是嗎?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAee9ZwMZcpJ
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大海就是這麼溫柔的一位母親,用自身給予最強的後盾、包容人受不住的種種負面,和藹地治療疲憊的靈魂,又狠心拒絕讓孩子過度依賴。「貪戀安逸的鳥兒終生也不會飛,未能克服恐懼的孩子一輩子也不會有成就,走!」她堅定地推開每個仍可以在舞台發亮的寶貝。「走!」絕情得讓人誤會了她的無情而懼怕。418Please respect copyright.PENANAjwUqAZFn54
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但我的母親,我知道你的好。我是多麼希望世人也感受到你的美好。418Please respect copyright.PENANA9npF9tEilO
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「別想有的沒的了。」她空靈的聲線透徹貫穿心底「好好享受吧!」418Please respect copyright.PENANAhsrQd9jud6
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教練又是盡責對我拍了好些相片,有時獨遊的煩惱在於拍照沒人幫助,縱然對拍潛水照沒什麼興趣,我也感謝他幫忙記錄這刻,我沉迷於母親美麗的一刻。418Please respect copyright.PENANAilNy1WvHxF
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「你先上去。」教練幫我脫好了蛙鞋,指指船邊的樓梯。418Please respect copyright.PENANAXNnocIwBzM
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我應答了聲,輕巧地游了過去,雙手抓穩了扶手,我垮出第一步,輕鬆沒難度;第二步,不捨緊緊拉著我後腿;第三步,責任與現實重新壓在肩上;最後幾步,防備與相處之道重新扣在身上。我吃力踏上甲板,一開始那個會中文的助教馬上上前:「我來幫你。」一卸下氧氣筒,我腳軟踏前兩步,他隨即把腰帶解下,附在身上最後那些海水一下瀉下,我趕緊跳動一下,動動手腳,好重新習慣地心吸力。418Please respect copyright.PENANAkIayqKP5oZ
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「還好嗎?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAofQFE2lOqJ
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「嗯。」 我慢慢走到自己的座位坐下,嘗試改用鼻子吸氣。418Please respect copyright.PENANAMv2lkiJeBY
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「喜歡嗎?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAfV3G1EndoY
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「當然!」418Please respect copyright.PENANA6Zv6glqTAD
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「看得出來,你現在看起來精神多了。」418Please respect copyright.PENANA6m6Va1DYyA
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「吸收夠了維他命sea。」剛扣上的盔甲沒拉緊,鎖不住的笑意冒出頭來。418Please respect copyright.PENANAJgy8sRMawr
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「你從哪裡來?」418Please respect copyright.PENANA7AbFj75By6
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「香港。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAaarfuX5Rve
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「啊?我識講少少廣府話。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAxTTqcYApgw
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「為什麼?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAWoqfKElP7v
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「我不是日本人。」418Please respect copyright.PENANA9vH1egwqRK
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「咦?」我意想不到眨眨眼,鮮有地好奇追問:「那你從哪裡來?」418Please respect copyright.PENANAGvitUr1Zaq
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「你猜。」他又露出炫眼的燦笑,給我提示說:「這世界會講廣府話的人不多。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAWwFtQqc9ct
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的確,把廣東話叫成廣府話的民族也不多。418Please respect copyright.PENANA2nHmEj8x2I
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「馬來西亞?」他搖搖頭,黑色的眼眸閃過一絲絲得意,近乎同步,我們一同講出答案:「新加坡。」418Please respect copyright.PENANA1hIqcJ2N5J
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「下次考個潛水牌再來吧!這樣比較適合你。」418Please respect copyright.PENANAYXL2yYbKQy
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窗外的風景匆匆略過,遠處粼粼海光閃爍著那男生的提議。他鄉一樣講廣東話的男生相識不到一小時,卻像我肚裡的蛔蟲,偷偷看穿了我的打算。418Please respect copyright.PENANADPdBcR3RLq
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萬里無雲,又一架軍機遠遠飛來,我默然看著這奇特的景象,天際又被亂劃上一筆。不曉得幾天後玩拖曳滑翔傘時會不會近距離看到軍機,在高空看著這片大海會一樣動人嗎?418Please respect copyright.PENANAAH4sN4Q5LQ
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把玩著勉強擦乾的髮絲,我下意識放到鼻底吸了口,滿滿也是海水的味道。「明天再見吧!」彷彿可以聽見母親的告別。「明天再見吧。」我低喃了一句回應,隨車子沒入隧道,遠離的摯愛的母親。418Please respect copyright.PENANAmFZMijQpVM
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