Still half asleep I stand up using the wall to push myself up and I wince as I feel a sharp point run along my back. What the Hell? I turn around and that’s when I remember the nail. I forgot it was still there. Well, I don’t think I ever truly forgot. It’s a part of me, just like the scars that decorate my wrists. My subconscious comes flooding back to the front of my mind as I’m drowned, and almost suffocated with the memories that have come up for air. 516Please respect copyright.PENANAaS5nS2uvVi
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I waited until the night, hoping, praying by some miracle I would get out today, but I finally gave in. I drew another line, 1,000 and I knew what would happen tonight. 1,000 days. I screamed with every ounce in my soul, the loudest scream I’ve ever made. It was a silent scream to everyone who heard, but to me it was the loudest sound in the world. “Why, why did you let me get to a 1,000 days?” I asked God. “What? No answer you’re just going to let your child rot in here like some piece of trash you can throw away?! Damn it! Damn it you son of a {Explicit)! Screw you. Screw you!” 516Please respect copyright.PENANAXT8KyvymuM
I punched the floors with my curled up fists, and hot tears spilled from my eyes. And the world became blurry. I wept for about two hours and my body shook violently with the sobs. During those two hours I didn’t say anything. I didn’t even think about anything. After I was drenched in my own tears, and my eyes were dried out, I picked myself up and walked to one of the walls. There was a nail sticking out of it. I had discovered it about a year ago when I brushed my hand against the wall and accidently pricked my finger on something. 516Please respect copyright.PENANA2g9ITNgtG6
My finger started to bleed, not a lot but enough that they gave me Neosporin on my Band-Aid. I knew I could make my finger bleed more on that nail if I wanted to do it on purpose and that’s when I promised myself that if I get to day 1,000 in here, I would use that nail to end my life. The nail was stuck in there too hard to take completely out of wall, but I could still use it for my needs. I wrapped my left wrist around it and rubbed back and forth on the nail until it started to cut my wrist. I kept going at for about 10 minutes until the surrounding skin was raw and red, and blood dripped to the floor.
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