根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKQlxp7bFw
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPqvtO7Owb
蠻有意思的名字。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpw4pYqQJFV
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDgSYg7Jev
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjxjE0ezzS
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjz7ofatBlr
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDJu3OoTuz
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xzpx7p1dF
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jafReXPwH
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaC9zkleOK
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqV3bvBjlU
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny2gttezQ2
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzyeV9H7gB
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAD5Ul3KVX
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkAI3X9zdq
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZDHg2gX60
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9eFEhlesf
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxh55u78F1
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlqELedGpA
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrjTLxuR3e
「她有透露去處嗎？」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASDMrVOMFY
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXqOqXwuYL
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAV4IaiSWsl
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViBW9jl0NA
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbVCGOdXg5
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesmJWp3MSH
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvR2ANwBGrF
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlED9ut6c1j
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mlGNWeEM2
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUu17wuOV7D
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLqq5M8pAs
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcj1e9XeK9
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFBMBwrL1N
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1iDzWm2Cr
我只得坦白交代。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkosVcu6kD
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvowLrDEpAs
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqkMwhJn3H
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSReiqMJDUt
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83EcDcyo7x
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3DpSwnAbp
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhbGsJZNtc
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumRM7QiDNV
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0JgO3VxQv
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ovk7qSMT7
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj8jMUQ6ZK
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn6LqyEMIX
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBKeDnWwfc
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8ABsQfFLq
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMblCgz8PW4
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLejEiTDTO
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI32KziwCtO
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQvluDcRPh
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZKfUBH3pn
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYTxvbO9Yf
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64m9Sflhgk
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3I4HKjPFBo
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9SyfbhWvO
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtjbdO8w2Y
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1yJOEHHKZ
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjaeRw4vBF
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72WeLfxzub
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBYS9LUqcy
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8lSwhoCgY
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhBYoJm4sF
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffwEOInt7j
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZBAYF7pR3
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax7CWufEVB
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5lOFDP3y9
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdV5wTI67f
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPk02SjWAHT
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk8mG61FAA
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKTW7F3qq0
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxhjabzvOa
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOdfAGr4O8
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUGSmF1peg
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4RO9JXnGg
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKSSSdBS9T
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9cOvHDYu4
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvBfxvcsLa
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F1hKKaNtD
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VbOS7bsB6
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQqAnWOFxk
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9yUNPeeLE
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lv2TUeQGp
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrn0Loaqdy
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSklDpxJIUj
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmNiPh5X9S
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5luNRF9tC
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIouDdIzbo
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I7rXbSGHc
「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNY2ewEzBg
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQhOuh3S0k
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2zJGbuMlm
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSOtftAHqm
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEtYhY27Om
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiGydVS6AA
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQrntMMQDh
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4QP3XScVc
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzcGU9W3Z5
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5Vj5fpM9y
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiA6LFJ5l2S
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHl8I1pHTV
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fcB1NcakA
309Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9Wulu6Rh8
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
