根據居民的指示，我沿著竹林小徑走了一整天，終於到達目的地：一間全竹結構的寺廟。它比我預想中更為破落，冷冷清清的。我抬頭望向高高懸掛在山門的匾額，寫著「竹寺」。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGvd0663Dv
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRTllU5O0Q
蠻有意思的名字。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ilSY4JFnW
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkVMv1Ct6j
當我正要邁步內進時，一個打扮樸素的瘦削大叔剛好開門踏出。四目交投，雙方都愣住了幾秒。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHOObrBHFt
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9rKYB4noD
「歡迎內進。」沒等我回答，大叔已轉身為我引路。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeDFNSVhmD
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTP0Lc6RG9
眼見天色漸暗，我不再磨蹭，看能否找到綫索，省卻逗留此地的時間：「不好意思喔，大叔！請問黃XX女士住在這裡嗎？」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04Jc4RQp7I
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCB1sdvo7t
大叔的腳步突兀地戛然而止。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyHtwYUKXY
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYOvcrzdLs
是我的提問過於唐突嗎？317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgvHVlszQY
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KSlrT1glE
大叔回頭仔細打量我，神色疑惑，似乎在猜測我和黃女士的關係。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41K2Do9Hu1
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFDGyFvMGL
「有人託我將信件親手轉交予黃女士。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivdshLMGir
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPyXzDvsLf
「黃女士已離開這裡好一段時間，不知何時會回來……甚或是不知會否回來。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNbcEwXMBe
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEroMK3baD
「她有透露去處嗎？」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTbNtyvJyX
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs9eg0lwRZ
「沒有……我帶你去她昔日的房間試找綫索。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2OsNPCLgQ
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiP6niU8cu
大叔再次邁步，步履沒有之前的輕，重若銀鉛。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9pTqGNbN5
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHKeOhSKte
陰冷的空氣，空洞的房間，慘白的牆身，最基本的傢俬和雜物。沒有生活的氣息。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZH6IL0q6EQ
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8ovCN1Z6q
「剛才在門外碰見你，也還真令我驚訝。」大叔沒有進入房間，逕自在門外呢呢喃喃。「竹寺曾香火鼎盛。後來毗鄰的兩個小鎮分別新建更大更金碧輝煌的寺廟，無意間將信眾分流開去，到來竹寺掛單的僧侶亦逐漸減少，住持最終徇眾要求到另一寺廟主持大局。他指派我長駐於此，打掃清潔，說要方便途經的旅客。我一直覺得他想多了，豈料今天就遇見你。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXg2FkF6HV
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4KRcoyViZ
「可能佛祖不想我白走一趟。」我話中有話，提醒侍奉佛祖的大叔不要忘記佛祖的存在，萬萬不能撒謊。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcTyBuYT9o
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPXsyATHrz
「我可以明天帶你見住持。他有掛單紀錄，可能有黃女士的聯絡資料。」大叔也不是省油的燈，簡單幾句就將我逼至沒有退路的位置：「但我希望你能先對我坦白事情的前因後果。住持是個大忙人。我可不希望為他增添不必要的麻煩。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgXOFmlRcB
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOIpy6zDkX
我只得坦白交代。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxjLGdGyiv
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktvOyfVZXh
我的妻子過身了。臨終前，她希望我能預留一年時間為她完成唯一的遺願：親手將遺書交予離家出走多年的生母——黃女士。事隔多年，黃女士曾在多個地方落腳。我每次根據綫索趕至時，她早已遷居。輾轉間，我追尋至竹寺……317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83ujj83v8C
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHx0tKZRLI
「距離一年限期，還剩多少日子？」大叔生起關切之情。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrC8RtY8J9
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2BflDErXO
「三日。竹寺很可能是我的最後機會。」我加倍留意他的神色舉止。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69Kd4bEFaq
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYOr8Cqatk
「不考慮延長？」大叔表現出來的的關切絕對超過一個陌生人該有的限度。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1cWwooE7V
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7V5Zd5qqRG
「妻子信緣份。她認為努力過後仍沒能找到，證明彼此有緣無份，毋須強求。她還叮囑我要燒毀遺書。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7J0dhWwHhG
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtokRjCwQf
大叔若有所思後，講出驚人的一句：「若果一年期限屆滿時仍找不到黃女士，介意給我看看遺書嗎？」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTmhX1LvrF
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOfX0udVNc
「極度介意！」我心裡認定大叔有事隱瞞。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZStb2DpAJR
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkvFSiWYhJ
尷尬氣氛令大叔不再多話。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1UmOfblYC
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzAi5LAP8N
晚餐後，大叔在其他地方忙著，我則留在房間對著愛妻的照片痛哭一場。哭過以後，壓力得以紓緩，但心頭卻未能添加半分澄明，混沌混濁。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbNUohvtFV
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqnprw59TN
我離房在寺內溜達散心。逛著逛著，忽爾看見大叔彎腰對著花園中的小樹喁喁細語，臉上盡是蜜甜。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjy3GKw1Aiy
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEeEJcrkB8
我上前跟大叔打招呼。他微笑回應，和顏悅色，渾身散發著慈祥氣息，沒有白天時的隔膜。我嘗試放下戒心，開心見誠與他聊天。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZEWE3f6rW
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3cJrjzB42
不知怎地，聊著聊著，話題竟牽到大叔的心事去。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUV5bsdrAB
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYzvgCuo2K
「貪，使人執著於一切順情之境。嗔，使人執著於一切違情之境。痴，使人不明白真理，致使生起貪嗔。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAIsau6Sli
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw93nMFSetX
我痴愚半生，痛苦不已。到此地求法，希望住持指點迷津。但他認為我凡心未盡，要我留在這裡靜思。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAgZy505xy
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoD2lLnRry
我在竹寺侍奉多年，住持依然不為所動。我以為他在敷衍我。今天遇到你，我才明白住持所言非虛：任何無關的人事物都可輕易勾起我對逝去伴侶的思念。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEbRK2h7Yi
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKRo6r3Vni
我終於明白初時大叔何以對我不太友善。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BtfFWQrzE
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Hbrt5dJBe
將心比心。喪妻之後，任何人事物均能勾起我和對太太的思念。我曾抱怨上天幸災樂禍，何解不讓我安靜避世。我已盡力放下身邊一切，辭掉工作，不聯絡親友，遷出愛巢，但偏偏愛妻的遺願就是要我去彌補她的畢生遺憾！我沒有一刻能放下她，因為我的分分秒秒就是為她而過。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDbHkXHPac
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxfUL3ILiP
那種痛苦實非筆墨所能形容。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5aCfOrZTJ
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3mbaJOnVn
「你的妻子真聰明，給你的痛苦設下一年期限。只要你在這一年裡拼命為她圓願，往後也就了無遺憾或悔疚。我可沒那麼幸運，不知要拖著這副臭皮囊乾等到哪年哪月哪日……」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1mVhyp1In
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrslfZJ4St3
說罷，他跟我和小樹說晚安，然後揚長而去。
翌日，我翻遍整間竹寺亦找不到大叔，只在他的房間找到他留給我的手繪地圖。我跟著地圖的指示走了大半天，來到住持現處的寺廟。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FYIBcfMHA
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYabFK1ouT
住持聽罷我的經歷後，不禁黯然慨嘆：「黃女士始終凡心未盡……」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT1KiScDhY
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TELLpXdQR
黃女士當年拋夫棄女，與情夫私奔。豈料甜蜜日子不長久，情夫患急病逝世。黃女士大受打擊，認為是自己作孽甚深，連累情夫。她來到竹寺，望住持能指點迷津。住持認為她深陷激動情緒當中，容易作出錯誤選擇，逐要她在竹寺靜思己過。可惜她半夜逃離。當黃女士重臨竹寺時，她已花光積蓄在黑市做手術整容及變性，以情夫的外表現身……317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2otKdy1De
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k8TGSeSyy
「大叔就是黃女士？」我不禁驚呼。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeDDLy8yDi
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYWjZMYReZ
震驚之情瞬間即逝，取而代之的是說不出的矛盾。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJJO9Gvcex
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlltSIYB4W
這個人，我恨不來，亦原諒不了。
翌日，我和住持往竹寺走一趟。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcWQ0M8wu9
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG8WBnrXpR
寺前，我倆不約而同抬頭望向匾額。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTMtKagJ8u
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwf6QlJRuje
「你知道『竹寺』何以得名嗎？」住持問。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQe4pLseqn
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「等？」我的猜想有如初來之時。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0ji7FL5VN
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWU1GDVlGHG
「這名字只不過是客觀描述寺廟本身。」住持揚手指向全竹結構的寺廟：「大家實在想多了，對自己的想像投放情感，賦予它過多的意義，致使看不見眼前真象。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcnrmIHPiX
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRSc0l26qg
我驀地憶起大叔前夜的說話。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHY1KqUJXv2
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAKVmFB5K6
住持直接走往花園。不出他所料，小樹已被連根拔起，樹下土地被挖出一個大坑，足以容納一個成人。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5w9Ct3UHb
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1QuCrotzT
我心頭一涼，頓時明白那是甚麼一回事：多年以來，情夫的屍首一直埋在這裡。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJWBtvfYUP
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzaKsD0fyZ
我鼻頭一酸，淚如雨下。317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGjCkrGSXl
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlFRNvQ7k1
「『強逼自己放下執著』也是一種執著。」317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmL4DPC1mM
317Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6Ib7lXNz0
住持淡然望天，開始為一切生者亡者誦經。
