《赤足的庭院》（2）68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOOh0f0K5R
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBphavmOWae
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00368Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw6I8ghsi9
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtQjJVN4OR
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我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0Kg1ExHZh
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8A6jR8cLQ
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFQ6Tg8Jpi
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyej6JCJ8jx
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtqt4EyJZt
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGkm9hs6XH
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2H7KrROsx
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但那不是指現在。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKcYsQtYl6
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX9W8fM2Bw
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYjZVhAtuj
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4wmgeqasR
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwFFiEirwg
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbf2YYVWE3
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjF11d1ktE
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl476jOe72b
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcwGCBN8kY
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4SSw5dOJp
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlg0tHBXspr
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEY6wWg5wnV
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44TRWi4SLE
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qd6odvTnq
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nPtbjqtmI
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsM0pIqJ5V
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0IOczhF1V
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxHzOmmDbW
「李靜。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcNm23fFKV
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMflA1b2b7
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjN12xbYNi
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXdInw4dvU
「⋯⋯」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfqZzMSWWS
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm23jMcBviy
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlBeBulMCQ
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSKRYgh9mV
「哈⋯⋯」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCgxiVz0v1
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1xcOXyph3
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWIAWrU6IC
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRG1LV839o
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0laZv6QPW
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7gPYN1yls
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWerdo2ro5
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBjsE0T0Xc
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2Fhqa4lmJ
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LL2CmfCJ9
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoy58ZSQQz
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhO6sKM5k8g
我搖搖頭。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb2pbhDvnC
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQzpMzl3jm
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0CyTOeIUs
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUIfTjQ5EU
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnXzChSdJX
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQRsTDUIPZ
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLC2R6TcVEd
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oECfebEHL
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcIYV0dA8v
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ8MBwdttQ
「是的，所以⋯⋯」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUlEnMo9U9
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDz5KYen97
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJW4qRIJdx
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRp51PjrFv
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZfNjedmWV
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNW501lsVz
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLXoiRKT2Z
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxDDnyIRf2
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8UBAeRwLe
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqiBo2KFmU
「怎麼可能。」她說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07ON8NxxcH
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtAYCsntCI
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljOsP5GnSW
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF85UlkOQU
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs7xzZOWlZ
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybLesP5ddP
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84XvzFPpAv
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPCD4PQ0De
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeraHpqKvH
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe6hB2kSkD
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIravX8TUD
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1ASdZRhpN
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Q6JHi0uK1
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRMb1Gn9aX
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nAwjYwIJd
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uquoyjgsH
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxvgnnhbXO
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6hiGYnrdo
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvI57MVvov
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWmEFkTbBE
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00468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunKlQpLSXC
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68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gTMEHO256
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbtg0WI5z5
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbUHT3bxez
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQEHWVaD6W
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQLJNW2zxZ
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqXFIDau0s
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmmBPARGZJ
「嗯，非常美味。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpeypJOsdf
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kBS3NXkXC
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexf2FTn0HI
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes5dseYTMJ
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYlz3tnTK5
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aOr0tYCEj
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdsN4jJLw0
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUu3Q09ukm
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKPCa1olQi
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnc0ETEjzYQ
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXn8MGR2VZX
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT7RPAbAwB
「嗯⋯⋯。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaydDoTGw7d
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC98MUYqTVM
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMRUNRCHjG
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOUutXVKxY
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBHS54FFdQ
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSQ6bPOVMk
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ797IwGR6Sv
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruVzD7niAb
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gTqvXsvg9
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlrVu70unh
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxPkXuJUNS
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqUq9jRahh
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HCcSrqV7C
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NMtL5YrJg
「什麼？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2v5wVOGyx
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBZcwZIpTM
她又問了一次。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhlsKyuXEX
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX57sviYoW
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzma3Wl72f
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DVnK2x2vI
「什麼意思？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VF3MO94nV
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpPZqOiqdo
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YduvMDt2W
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVD7jTT9RV
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j8eBR6cJk
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJVMfcXU6p
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0aWIF6hCR
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmfCBm8oaD
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEpJ9KY4aQ
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmTUgBH0NN
「是嗎？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouCoqTslBN
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX9JFtx87O
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6oXgQoH3T
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgE9xNUteZY
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85HX1JgTEh
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAvpv1MDeU
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果然很像。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTdm85wbtC
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HPNBozd9E
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO5PoMTKxS
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlk3oBXKy02
那是我第四次的離家出走。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtw9IoH7rU
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawC6u7EUGw
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcpafMTfGZ
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfjfUFCScJ
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fkU4etnpl
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGpAtbLbof
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mTaOH8Ezh
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxb0PVqdVS
我喜歡文學。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBjfY9vnX6
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3n9etHD5u
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCD3o9v8xZk
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1WmF3o7Wk
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAjnlFb8RO
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm2C10fsm7
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ilY3RN6IZ
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLVBgRO7iY
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOBxZpUonn
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYaFDnwhnZ
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVdricA9l5
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAERxcmM4A
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfelPfWTymN
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyPylTgAsG
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxjYTDpEiq
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaj9T09si7
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2Po6KvHSH
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoU3tFqqd6
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22kmVgxumL
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡad8p660RKm
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ601tTt0tM0
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJLBAKElOM
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGKLyx9Nlc
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb0RPyK13G
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTLltC8tHO
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYraMOCIh1E
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObMK2Icc4t
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrm5bTA9beg
「嗯，你也是。」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUKnGSQZjY
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1etnbiYr0
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHVhX4ZODg
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuFYawaD4g
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDgT6dz7D3
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHO7teiw5W
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis2uJynNnt
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVlgjs5SFj
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8n8zaQIsB
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesaD8C5RWQ
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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