I’ve always been scared of many things. Not deathly scared, but just a little terrified. Most of my fears I can get past, except one; my crippling fear of other people. Ever since I could remember I’ve been terrified of the people around me. There are some exceptions, like my immediate family, but most of the time I just can’t stand to be around other people. It’s not like I hate them or anything. It’s just that I find them particularly scary. You never know what they’re thinking, that’s probably the biggest problem. For all I know they could be plotting my murder in their head, or just thinking I’m a loser. Both are equally terrifying.
I’m not exactly an “outgoing” person. I spend most of my time inside, on my own. By choice of course. I’m not one of those losers who doesn’t have any friends and cries themselves to sleep every night wishing for one. True, I don’t actually have any friends, but I don’t want any either. Other people just seem to make everything worse. I can survive on my own.
My parents have just moved us to a new town. It’s a pretty normal place, nothing special about it. I’m about to start sixth form here and I can’t say I’m particularly excited. It’ll involve meeting new people which makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I lean back in my desk chair. My room’s still pretty empty at this point. It’s just a bed and a desk and a large quantity of scattered boxes which still need unpacking, but I’m too tired to do anything productive. Plus the internet’s not been set up yet so I basically have nothing to do with my life.
I look lazily across my room to check the time and almost fall off my chair at what I see. There’s a girl standing in the middle of my room. I don’t know how long she’s been there but she’s been completely silent. I stare at her blankly. I’m not really sure how to react to this; I’ve never seen this girl before in my life. She’s wearing a white summer dress and has long blonde hair. Her skin is almost completely pale. She has a very dainty, fragile look and she’s smiling absentmindedly.
“Are you new here?” She asks in a strange voice. She sounds like she’s a bit out of it. One of those people who always have their heads in the clouds, like they’re not really there. She has a somewhat air-headed aura around her, which is only aggravated by her bare feet.
“Huh?” I say rather awkwardly. I feel like I’ve just dropped out of reality, like I’m dreaming.
“You’re one of the new people right? You just moved in. Do you have a name?”
“E-Ellie,” I say a little awkwardly. I’ve decided that this isn’t happening so I’m just going to go along with it and see what happens.
She sniggers, looking like she’s trying to hold back a laugh. And then she lets it go, doubling over with laughter. She tries to recompose herself a bit. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I’ve just never heard of a boy called Ellie.”
I blush a little bit. “People don’t usually react like that,” I say a little defensively. My parents wanted to give their child a unique name, something that no other baby boy had. So they went with a girl’s name and I endured years of teasing. At least it’s a conversation starter.
“Oh, how do they react then?” She asks tilting her head.
“Usually with a look of sympathy,” I say looking away. It’s strange; I don’t feel particularly scared of her. I’m not that bad when it’s just one person. That, coupled with the fact that she’s not real, makes her quite easy to talk to. Part of me feels slightly jealous of her. She seems so happy and carefree. I always feel so anxious and uncomfortable. She’s like my polar opposite. “So, uh, do you have a name?” I say looking back at her.
“Nope,” she says without changing her expression or tone of voice.
“You don’t, why not?” I ask curiously. What kind of person doesn’t have a name?
“Well I don’t have any memories from back when I was alive, so I don’t remember my name.”
I look at her confused. “This is getting a bit weird, so I’m just gonna wake up, or go to bed, or whatever will stop this.”
“Okay! Goodnight!” And then, all of sudden, she disappeared.
I look over at the clock. 3:47am. I really shouldn’t stay up for this late doing nothing but staring blankly at the ceiling. I manage to convince myself that it was some kind of hallucination, dreamt up in my sleepless state. I’ve never hallucinated before though. Hopefully I’m not going insane. I stand up and walk over to my bed, collapsing on it and falling asleep in an instant.
***
I wake up at 11:30am and slowly get out of bed, trying to ignore the desire to not bother. I wake myself up with a shower and then get changed. Then I collapse in my bed and end up lying there for half an hour. It’s already midday and I’ve accomplished nothing.
I head downstairs to get some food. In the kitchen, there’s a piece of paper on the side. A message left by my Mum saying that she’s gone out. Dad’s gone to work so I’m completely alone at this point. Just how I like it.
“Aww, are the others gone? I was hoping to meet them,” says a familiar voice from behind me. I turn around and see the girl from last night, except this time she’s floating several feet above the air, lying down.
I stumble back, a look of horror on my face. I feel myself trembling. “W-What the hell?!” Why is she still here?! I thought that was just a hallucination. Some kind of weird mental illusion in my sleep deprived state. Surely after several hours of sleep this shouldn’t be happening. Am I really going insane?!
“What is it, do I have something in my teeth?” She says starting to pick her teeth.
I take several steps back and end up tripping over an unpacked box. I end up on my back and lay there with my eyes closed, waiting for the apparition to vanish.
I open my eyes and she’s hovering right above me, smiling. “You okay?”
“What the hell are you?” I ask her, my voice trembling. She was so inviting and calming last night. Now she seems like a monster. She just keeps reminding me of my own insanity.
“I told you, I don’t know. I’m quite sure I’m dead though.” She stands herself up and then floats down to the ground, landing daintily on the floor.
I stand up quickly, moving away from her. “Y-You’re quite sure?” I ask with emphasis on the word “quite.” How can someone not be sure that they’re dead?! Probably the same way someone doesn’t know their own name.
“Well yeah, I just kinda woke up like this. No idea who or what I was. Then I met some other dead people and they told me that I was dead.” I nod along, eyes wide open. I imagine I must look quite distressed at this onslaught of information. But she just keeps prattling along, ignoring the look on my face. “The living don’t seem to be able to see me. Except you,” she says smiling brightly.
“No, no no no no no,” I say running out of the kitchen door, into the back garden. I double over, hyperventilating. I’m definitely going mad.
The ghost runs – swiftly floats? – out after me. She hovers next to me, slightly bent over. “You okay?”
I manage to catch my breath and get back up, moving a few steps back. “How do you think I am?! I’m going insane! I’m seeing ghosts! Why can’t I just be left alone?!” I feel some tears well up in my eyes but quickly wipe them away. It’s bad enough that the living keep trying to talk to me, but now the dead too!
“Well, we all need friends, don’t we?” She asks sadly. She still has her air-headed, head in the clouds tone of voice though.
“I don’t want any friends! People are just- I hate people!” I shout bitterly. I’m not sure that I mean what I said, but I just couldn’t hold it back.
“Y-You don’t hate me right? I could be your friend,” she says with a bright smile.
“You’re not real!”
Her smile finally leaves her face. She lands on the ground, bare feet in the grass, and storms over to me. She then slaps me in the face. I stare at her in horror before she hugs me suddenly. “Why are you such a jerk?! I just wanted to be your friend!”
I can feel the sensation of pain lingering on my cheek. The good news is that I’m not insane. Something very strange is happening in my life. I couldn’t begin to figure out what, so I guess I’ll just roll with it. After a few moments, I hug her back. She said that I was the only one who could see her, so I wonder how stupid I must look to someone who can’t. I didn’t begin to imagine that I could touch her. It must be something to do with how I can see her.
Almost a whole minute past before we broke away from the hug. She flashes a smile at me. I can’t seem to figure out how old she is. When she slapped me, she looked quite mature, maybe 17 or 18. But then when she acts all cutesy and air-headed, she seems more like a little kid. “Is it okay if I stay here for a while? I would always stay here before you arrived.”
“Uh, sure, I guess. But, what should I call you?”
“A name? Hm,” she thinks on this, “I liked the sound of what you called me earlier.”
“What, you mean ghost?”
“Yeah! From now on, call me Ghost.”
ns 15.158.61.40da2
