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It was gone. Forever etched into the abyss. Its location a mystery to me. I can still, so vividly, remember the details of this simple trinket. The soft touch of sheer glass as I run my fingers across its surface. My own reflection glistened from it’s clear surface as I hold it around my neck. Now, I feel empty without it. It’s like part of my soul is missing, a part of what made me who I am was gone.
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And as I paced the apartment back and forth, from the kitchen to the bedroom and back again. I couldn’t help but to grip my neck in absence of a necklace; the fear and anger preventing me from opening the letter that laid on the table. It’s contents a mystery and it’s sender, an enemy. Memories spilled before me, before I could even suppress them. Oh, how he fails to stay out of my life. To keep away from me after what he did. I know he did it. That night still echoed in my mind.
*
July 1939
The party itself wasn’t special nor was it dull, with its share of overzealous drunkards parading around the mansion with their drinks spilling over, or gossip that led to altercations with the wrong people. It was a party like every other party of that decade; wild and carefree. Dresses sparkling in the moonlit night, overflowing glasses of champagne, and high pitched laughter echoing the halls of Highbrow Abbey. I stood upon the lawn of the estate, my back toward the ruckus going on inside. I was in conversation with a spinster, whose most eventful thing in her life was her cats and her money. My mind drifted to Jacob, to when and if he’d arrive.
“Eva, are you listening? My goodness, the manners on this new generation.”
My attention reverted back to the speaker, Miss Kay. “I am sorry miss. I have heard every single word you have said. But I must implore upon you an invitation for tea tomorrow. You see, I must be getting off. Why someone just called for me. Did you not hear? Good bye, love.” I ushered off in a hurry, my heels sinking deeper into the damp grass.
From the distance, I could hear the boisterous laughter of my dearest friend, surrounded by tailor suited men. Her blonde curls bounced whenever she moved her head. Our gazes met. Her eyes sparkled with delight and booze. Just as I was about to move toward the small circle, I saw him. Jacob Kelley. My one true love.
I spotted him from across the lawn, walking slowly from the darkness with his fedora in one hand and flowers in the other. Such bright colorful ones indeed. Blood red roses, sunshine yellow daisies, and my favorites, pink tulips. I couldn’t help but smile as Jacob stood at the gates of the mansion. The expressions of confusion and anxiety was prevalent on his face as he scanned the crowds before him. I waited and watched my beloved become more disheveled as he searched for me. ‘Just a little longer, love.’ I thought to myself as I slithered like an eel, hoping not to be noticed by the masses of glittering dresses and men who couldn't keep their eyes on the women they were with. I was having fun with his pain.
And finally our eyes met. His face soften a little. His lips curved into a smile as I approached him.
“Well, if it isn’t the lovely Lady Eva Haythorne in her stunningly red ball dress.” He leaned in close to my ear. “The red brings out the devil in you.” I laugh obnoxiously, making him turn red as the guests turned to us.
“Jacob, you’re such a tease. Why I was born from the devil and I shall see devil before I ever see Heaven. A heathen that I am. I was condemned at birth. Did you not know that?” I whispered a little bit too loudly as I lead him inside, arms intertwined.
I started to notice how warm his hands were in my grip as we entered the library. The silence, the smell; all were rejuvenating. Finally, after many hours of playing hostess to unwanted guests and pompous companions, I could think. I could speak, truly speak with my own voice. But most of all, I could love. I could finally be with the love of my life. As I turned to him, I could see something was wrong. His posture, his face, his presence were all wrong. I let out a small chuckle at all of it.
“Goodness, Jacob, you look frightened. I promise I won’t throw a drink at you like last time nor will I scream at you.” I placed the champagne glass I was holding onto the mahogany desk. I proceeded to sit in the chair behind it when he spoke. Even his voice was wrong, reflecting some emotion I could not pinpoint. Was it anger? Envy? Hate? Grievance?
“I must talk to you. I am very glad we are here, alone that is.” His voice was shaky with the effort. He took in a deep breath. “Let’s run away. Let’s go to Paris or Moscow. As long as we are together, it doesn’t matter where we live.” He waited for me. He waited for my answer, my reply. I removed my belongings, my pearls and gloves, and placed them upon the desk. I chuckled at the image of my family petrified by their only daughter in cohorts with a man they barely knew existed. The sheer joy of seeing them running around like chickens delighted me but something else lingered within. I knew I couldn’t leave them. I couldn’t leave the life that I had known.
“How will we support ourselves? My parents will never approve of this union.” I responded.
“No worries, I can write my scripts while you paint with all your hearts content. We will live bohemian.” He approached closer to me. My bare hands reached for his. All I could do was smile at the sheer thought of our lives. A glimmer of sadness and rationality protruded this fantasy though. I knew right then and there that our lives would never be the same. I let go of his hands; I let go of the warmth and love.
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“We can’t. It’s a silly idea. Come let’s join the party. I grow weary of these talks. Let’s just enjoy ourselves.” I tried to take his hand. He pulled away from me.His eyes stared at the floor, not daring to look at me. He was still like a statue. His shoulders stiffened to my touch. I did not know what to do. My heart yearned to reach out to him yet my mind would not let me do so. I couldn’t do it, under the pretense of pride.
I walked away. I left him standing there, all alone and broken, in the library without even a glance back.This was beyond a betrayal. This was an insult. But could he had known what was in my heart? No. He couldn’t.
I fled past the mass of bodies that hovered close together in dance and merriment; past the crowd now rushing in from the pouring rain and finally to the foyer, tears streaming endlessly down my face. I clutched my heart. I let out a small gasp as I felt around my neck. Oh how silly I was. I had forgotten my necklace in the library. Fearful of a confrontation with Jacob, I grabbed the nearest gentleman and asked if he could retrieve the pearls for me. As the man walked away, I delved into my own abyss filled with possibilities of a life with Jacob and a life without him. Could I run away? Could I run away from everything that I have ever known in my life; the glamour, the money, the security; all of it would be lost to me. I will struggle that much I knew.
“Miss, I’m sorry I didn’t see anything there. I only found your gloves though.” My heart dropped. No. This can not be.
“Are you sure? They were placed next to the gloves. They are pearls. I’m sure you know what pearls look like.”
Annoyance appeared in his voice, “Miss, there were only gloves on the desk. No pearls, no gentleman. No one was in the library. If you feel slighted or that I am lying, you can check it yourself.” He placed the gloves in my hands and left without another word.
I remember it all. I frantically searched the library for the pearls but never did find them. Nor did I find Jacob after the incident. I always wondered, what if we had left together? This question irked me to no end. It emerged in my mind that night and has never left me. I know why he was so frightened. It was the coming war. The slaughter that will happen. This fear was in all of us and it was the very reason for the party. They wanted to celebrate, they wanted to bask in their own fortune before it all went away. Once the war starts, all things fall apart. Nothing stays whole. I was never whole again.
It was and still is a silly thing to think about; a necklace. But it meant something to me. It meant loyalty, pride but most of all money. It was a reminder of a happier time in my family when we were all whole. Jacob knew this. I had express this many of nights and days that we were together. He took it to hurt me. To make me finally take him seriously. And I never did. So he never returned my necklace.
*
I willed myself to open it. It was an undying presence, a monster in the darkness that could not be avoided. My very own hands quivered as I felt the envelope, I knew what was inside. I let out a breath as I laid down the items before me.Controlling my emotions, I picked up the necklace, my pearl necklace handed down to me by the women in my family. It felt wondrous upon my hands. It was cold. It sparkled like new even in the dim light of my kitchen. 652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiRgecjjan
My attention, and curiosity, went back to the envelope that contained within it two letters. The first one I read, was from Jacob, and it took my breath away. The amount of sorrow, fear, and love was too unbearable for me that I let out a sob. My body slumped in the chair for what seemed like hours before I could compose myself to finish. He was the one that stole the necklace. It was silly. It was childish but it left a heavy impact on our relationship. Oh, how much I hated him for it. How much I prayed for his failure. I couldn’t ever face him again. That much we knew. He had stolen what was mine and claimed that he sold it away. But it was all a lie. I ripped his heart right out of his chest and in return he stole the one thing I held dear to my heart. 652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq1ML8Q6aY
The second letter left me questioning my own sanity. The contents of it was so heavy with the truth. Upon reading that second letter, I’ve always questioned myself, believed that I may have had something to do with his disappearance. Would he ever come back to me? Was he dead? All of this was a mystery. And it seems that it will stay that way until the war in Europe is finally over, and we, the citizens of a dark world filled with gunfire, bombs, and gas, become free from tyranny.
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