"Go ahead." Ryder grins and grabs the ladder.
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"If you say so." I shrug and climb up.
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"You better hold it for me!" Ryder yells as he climbs up.
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"What and let you fall?" I laugh.
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We lay out a blanket and lay down on top of it.
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"Wow. These stars are way more visible than in 2025." Ryder whispers. "When we were younger me and Iz would go out and watch the stars."
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"You miss her?" I ask.
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"So much. She's one of my only real friends." Ryder looks like he's about to cry.
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"Here's a fun question!" I try to shift the mood. "Do you know any constellations?"
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"I do!" Ryder grins. "You see that square right there?"
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"Yes." It's part of the Big Dipper.
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"Well thats Pegasus." Ryder smiles.
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I don't want to crush his dreams. "Really?"
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"Yeah! And that's the Big Dipper. Or is it over there?" Ryder points at 2 different constellations which for your information neither are the Big Dipper.
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"You're an idiot." I laugh and I think Ryders face turns a little red.
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"I am not."
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"You definitely are." I Point up. "That's the Big Dipper. You pointed at the Little Dipper."
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"I was close." Ryder smirks.
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"Were not!" I laugh.
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"They all look like squares to me!" He throws his arms up.
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"That's a good point I guess."
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We'd been laying there for a while when Ryder grabs my hand. I'd be lying if I didn't feel his pulse quicken.
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"I'm going to say a lot of things and I would like it if you said nothing until I'm finished please." Ryder starts.
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"Alright I won't. And you know that you can tell me anything right?" I smile.
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"Yes." Ryder smiles back. "Well, I'm gay. I like men. And I don't know how to get this out right, but I think I'm in love with you." Ry sighs. "I've been in love with you almost since we've met. You're one of the most beautiful men I've ever laid eyes on. More beautiful than any of my 2 boyfriends. Jackie every time I see you I want to kiss you. It pains me. I don't know if you feel the same way and you probably don't but I told my friends the time and place that we're stuck in to bring me back. I can't stand feeling like this much longer. If you don't like men, I get it. If you never want to see me again I get it too."
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"Ry I-" I start but get cut off by Ryders lips. On mine. They're so soft. So perfect. He's perfect. This is exactly how I imagined my first kiss. Not necessarily with a boy but now I can't imagine it any differently.
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Ry pulls away and I think he's going to cry. "Jackie. I'm sorry I just needed to do that before I go." He stands up and starts to head to the ladder.
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I grab his hand. "Ry!" I pull him to the blanket. "I need to tell you something too." I sigh. "I like men too. I think. People say that you can only be with a women but I don't feel that way. I think like men and women." I feel the tears come. "Is it different in your time? Is it acceptable to be with a man? I heard stories of boys being killed because they kissed other boys. Does that happen in your time?" I continue. "I think I'm in love with you too but I'm scared to do anything. Can I go back with you? I'm scared of anyone finding out I love a boy. I- I really don't want to die."
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I guess I started sobbing because Ryder wraps me in a giant hug. "You'll be alright. You're coming too. I can't leave you."
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"Does that mean we can kiss again?" I laugh wiping away the tears.
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"Of course." Ryder smiles one of his goofy little grins and leans in for another kiss.
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Love. I'm in love with a boy and it's amazing. I'm happy. I'm free to be me. And it's glorious.
ns 15.158.61.16da2
