The boss-battle was won, though not without casualties. Kirito wasn't among them, thank god. Though she felt ashamed to discount every other player's life in favor of his, Asuna couldn't bring herself to regret it. Kirito was her world. Without him the rest of her life would have no meaning.851Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlgIecKzmv
Except the battle wasn't over.
She wasn't the only one who was in absolute shock as her husband revealed the betrayer among them, the purple hex above his head proclaiming him an immortal object.
Heathcliff... No, Kayaba didn't deny it. He seemed more amused that he'd been caught so early than anything. Accepting that his ruse was over he promised to wait for them at the top of Aincrad, but not before giving Kirito a "reward."
Everyone begged him, including Asuna, to turn down the duel to the death. Though she wanted to believe in him Asuna couldn't accept with a certainty that her lover would live. If it meant another ten years to beat this game she would gladly do so rather than risk this.
Kirito wouldn't be the man she loved though if he didn't take on this challenge, risking it all for the sake of those around him. She loved him for it, and she hated him for it at that moment as well.
Readying himself for the duel Kirito asked his executioner, "If you don't mind, I have a request."
With undeniable amusement in his voice Kayaba answered, "What is it?"
"I don't plan to go down easily, but if I die I want you to ensure that Asuna cannot commit suicide, at least for a while." The last words she would ever here from her lovers lips was the greatest betrayal of her life.
The psychopath smiled his understanding. "Very well."
Damn this simulated world! Though she demanded her muscles to move, to stop the nightmare playing out before her, the paralysis placed on her by the system refused to allow it. "Kirito don't say that!" Her voice was all that was allowed her. It was pathetically weak. "You can't... you can't do this to me!"
But he could do it to her, and he did. She watched helplessly as the two titans fought, and she could see it. For all of his skill he was still bound to the skill assist of the system. A system Kayaba designed. When the final blow came she wanted some miracle to happen, anything, that would unbind her from the paralysis, but that was a fantasy this world of swords would not accommodate.
All that was left of him was a shower of mirror-like fragments that dissolved into nothingness. "That was more entertaining than I had expected," Kayaba remarked. Swiping his hand down he activated his GM menu. A few clicks on the menu later and a purple hex formed above his head announcing he was again an immortal object. A few swipes more and she felt the shift in her own avatar. A matching hex was above her head for a few seconds proclaiming her avatar had become an inescapable jail.
"NO! I don't want it! Take it off! Take it off!" She screamed.
That maddeningly calm voice of his spoke again. "You fail to understand, I agree with Kirito. I can not let you die. With my absence you will be needed to run the Knights of the Blood Oath."
He wanted her to lead? He obviously did as "Asuna promoted to Guild Leader" popped up on her heads up display. He was mad, and she was infuriated! "I won't do it! I won't do anything at all!"
"Is that it then? The love of your life tragically dies in front of your eyes, leaving you unable to follow, and what shall you do? Fight for your vengeance? No, you would rather play the weeping damsel? I was hoping for a much more exciting story from you."
Was he mocking her? "It can't be helped I guess," he continued. "I can force you to live, but not how you choose to use it. Here is one last parting gift however." He ran through his menu again, and clicked on another option. "A little something to remember Kirito by. Maybe some day you will use it better than he did."
Her skill menu popped to life and "duel-wield" was added. "I look forward to seeing you on the final floor Asuna, commander of the Knights of the Blood Oath." And then he was gone, leaving by portal to watch over Aincrad like his own personal reality show.
Looking over the edge, Asuna contemplated jumping again. It was a useless move, and she knew it. She would fall, as many before her had, but when her avatar reached the point of no return it would only shatter and reform on their bed in the cabin in the woods.
Alone.
She knew, she'd been trying it for a year now. She returned to this exact spot every time the pain became unbearable. Sometimes she wouldn't even remember the trek to get there.
Depression was the most prevalent of the emotions that drove her there. She had found peace in a world that was out to kill her. Peace she hadn't enjoyed in the real world either, driving her to the virtual world to escape its jesses. Peace she had thought would last forever. She hadn't been prepared for it to end.
Anger was a close second however. Her anger towards Kayaba had an obvious reason behind it. How could she not hate the man who had purposely set it so ten thousand men, women, and children could die for his own personal amusement? That hate paled to the hate that came when he had ended Kirito's life.
The cause of her anger towards Kirito was less obvious, and sometimes stronger than what she felt towards Kayaba. "My life is yours Asuna, I'll live for your sake," he had promised. "Regardless of what may come, I will send you back to the real world."
Why had he sworn that? Sworn it when he didn't know if he could keep it. Why? He had failed! Failed in the oath, throwing his life away for no reason. Leaving her to fend for herself, to complete what he couldn't. To leave this game for the real world. A real world without him in it.
And that was the thing that hurt her the most, those dark evil thoughts that invaded. Thoughts that blamed her husband for doing what it took to keep his word to her. Giving his life for her, as he had sworn. He had fallen, committed the ultimate sacrifice, in a hope of returning her to where she would again be safe. She had no right to be angry for that!
That was the whole of what caused her anger towards herself, but only half of what caused the guilt. The remainder of the guilt was realizing he had done all he could to save her, but had she done the same for him? She had watched as he died. Could she have done more? She couldn't see how, logically, but the mind is much less logical than humans liked to think. There had to have been something, anything, to have saved him.
She had failed him.
The emotions never came singly. They came as a storm, each hitting her in unpredictable swirling winds of doubt laced with angry flashes of lightning and soul drenching rains. Never were the storms identical and giving her a chance to adapt. The levels of each emotion ebbed and flowed, and at times some didn't come at all.
And then there were the calms. It wasn't from the storm passing. It was from finding a shelter to shut it out, and with it the rest of the world. Nothing entered. Nothing was felt. But she couldn't remain there, and when she again left it the storm felt all the worse for the brief respite.
For a year now this had gone on, and when the storms became too much, and when that shelter was impossible to find, she wound up here in yet another futile attempt to escape the storm forever. She had not lied to Kirito when she had told him his death would be her end, but even she had not realized how true it was. How much she would crave to be free again of the pain and the loneliness.
How long would it be before Kayaba finally removed immortal object from her avatar? The answer was simple: never. Not until she chose to fight again. He didn't care about her pain, only his entertainment.
Silently she cursed his name; cursed both of their names. How could you leave me like this Kirito? she thought. Why? She couldn't even work up tears anymore when she threw herself over the rail to search for the release that would never come.
Waking up Asuna ignored the hunger pains that accompanied consciousness, depressed at the reality the game had forced upon her. For most players the hunger pains were real. An in-game consequence was after a point their health bar would begin to drop. When it reached nothing they would die. Like throwing herself off the edge of the floating castle her status as an immortal object forestalled that fate for her. Instead she allowed herself to suffer through it. As an immortal object it was the only physical pain that was allowed to her.
One year and the pain was the same. The attempts on her life eased the aches slightly, but never completely abated them. It was no different than those who burned or cut themselves she imagined. The first time she had jumped the decent had scared the hell out of her, no matter her determination of finding her husband on the other side.
It didn't stop her from longing for it however, but the first time had been enough to keep the need to do it again away for a couple of months. Each jump after that however allowed her to adjust to the fear. The relief becoming less effective, and the jumps becoming more frequent.
Her friends had visited often at first, trying to help her heal, but when their efforts were dropped into the void where joy should be allowed to exist in her soul, the nothingness began to absorb more than what they could give.
For their own sanity they retreated eventually. All except for Klein and Liz. Klein had looked up to Kirito. He considered him the best friend and only good thing to have come from this death game.
Liz had loved Kirito. Maybe as much as Asuna herself though she had recognized a lost cause and bowed out. Like Asuna she still mourned his passing, Asuna never doubted that. It deepened their friendship with their shared grief. 851Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWdIVhztAm
Those two were the only thing that allowed her to hold onto any semblance of sanity. They brought her news of the outside world, and told her about the assault force and how their battle to reach the top progressed. They didn't sugar coat things, and that left her depressed even further. Floor one-hundred seemed further and further from possible as the number of people fighting to reach it shrank.
The Knights of the Blood Oath no longer existed, or they might as well not. Most had quit within a week of finding out Heathcliff's true identity. Then more left as players outside the guild found out and a stigma was attached to their white and red uniforms. Where once they showed as a beacon of hope that they could finish, it had become a reminder of the futility of surviving.
Asuna still was guild leader, allowing her to keep track of the guild stats. They were down to thirty-four members. From what Klein had said only six of them were actually active, and none wore their uniforms.
Of the ten thousand who had been there at the start of the game it was now estimated that less than four thousand survived. There was less than a hundred on the front lines and none of the major guilds had held together with the continued losses.
The only good news was that the boss for the ninety-seventh floor had been found last week. They were close. The last party to have fought it had been a complete wipe however. That loss destroyed any moral boost the discovery may have caused.
Klein was devastated at the loss. What remained of his guild had been in that party.
With her last attempted death Asuna had reached a decision. In the game death was impossible for her. Outside the game it was assured.
Besides, Kayaba needed to pay for all he had done.
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