Chapter 7336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB6sqlvVqW
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As tired as I was I still didn’t sleep long. For some reason I kept imagining that I was hearing Daniel up and wandering around … and dreaming that he got into something that hurt him … or Jeff going outside and never coming back. Even at thirteen I knew it was all psychological because I was anxious but no way would those words have left my mouth exactly like that.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMS023LN6rL
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It was more tiring jumping up and down than it was just to go ahead and get up. Besides I knew it was time I let it out and cry in private or I was going to wind up doing something embarrassing in front of Jeff and scaring Daniel in the process. I wandered around the cave in my socks and scuffy slippers, noticing all the things that Dad had mentioned doing that he’d never get a chance to and seeing all the things Momma meant to put away and hadn’t had time to. I wanted to go into their bedroom but I just couldn’t do it; it was hard enough running across the family pictures that Momma had stacked in different places meaning to hang them up just as if we'd simply moved into a new house.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpXp9AboN6
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Every once in a while my eyes would get watery but that was about it. I missed them but at the same time it was kind of comforting to know that they were out of all of this and with each other. It felt like they were some place waiting for us and that someday I’d see them again. It was when I looked in on Daniel that I got upset.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQt9vFM6iA
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I didn’t know how I was going to take care of him. I knew it was my place more than it was Jeff’s. I also knew that Jeff would leave … maybe not tomorrow but eventually he would leave. I think he needed to as much as I had needed to do those things at the re-education camp. But I was thirteen and Daniel could be a handful for Momma and Dad to manage and they were parents and grown adults. He only minded me when he felt like it. How was I supposed to suddenly become both parents to him when I still needed my parents myself?336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUtDReOYRY
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Then I just switched it off. I didn’t stop thinking about it exactly but it was either box it up and put it on a shelf or lose it and make things even harder. I walked into the kitchen area and before I even realized what I was doing I was making one of Daniel’s favorite desserts.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MtZ4lgQsx
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When Daniel was really little they wondered if he was like he was because of allergies and one of the allergies they tested him for was dairy proteins. I remember that and when they tested to see if he was allergic to wheat and corn. It was awful. Momma thought that if Daniel had to suffer through it then the rest of us did too. About the only good thing that came out of those tests was some recipes that Momma kept making. One of them was a cake recipe this real old lady in our church gave us that she said came from back around the Civil War.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBtPKDhSda
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You start by putting a cup of brown sugar, a cup of cold water, one and a half cups of raisins, a third cup of shortening, a teaspoon of ground cinnamon, a quarter teaspoon of nutmeg, a half teaspoon of cloves, and a half teaspoon of salt in a big pan and heat it up and then boil it for three minutes solid. At the end of three minutes you take it off the burner and mix in a teaspoon of baking soda that you’ve dissolved in two tablespoons of water, two cups of flour, and a half teaspoon of baking powder.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUsZx7Z54W
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Takes a pretty strong elbow to do this but once you’ve done it, you pour it into a prepared cake pan and bake it thirty-five to forty minutes in a 350 degree F oven … or if you don’t know exactly what your temp is like you are cooking in a cranky wood stove or fireplace, it is finished when a toothpick stuck in the middle of the cake comes out clean.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmFe6iZjzj
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While the cake baked I made easy potato soup. First I brought eight cups of water to a boil and then I dumped in three cups of instant potato flakes, one cup powdered coffee creamer, one package of chicken gravy mix, two tablespoons of dried parsley flakes, a quarter cup of Parmesan cheese from the shaker, two tablespoons of Italian seasoning, one teaspoon of dried minced onion, and half a teaspoon of pepper. I stirred it a minute until it thickened and then took it off the heat.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7HdacV8KL
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I turned around and ran smack into Daniel. I don’t know how long he’d been standing there but he was soaked through, lucky for me it was just from sweat.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LnFlcLCEQ
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“Jeffy’s sleepin’.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hBbHnXR0m
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“I know, he’s tired. He helped us get home.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbCQEeImP6
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“This is the cave.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2HXnm42yY
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“Uh huh.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSTDsDt6Wl
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“This is the cave. The house is home.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjDH4ayRz3
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Uh oh. I wasn’t ready for this.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOAVlDqaO0
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“Remember? We brought all our stuff here so this is home now.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv1GwFzvU5
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“This is the cave.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2jHnPUyjq
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I wasn’t going to argue with him, not when he was finally talking again so I decided just to get him dressed and try and get him to let me do something with his hair. Forget the scissors, as soon as he saw them out of the corner of his eye he jerked away from me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL7ulWD98u
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“Oh all right Daniel but your hair is full of knots. It’s going to hurt for me to try and comb them out.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHqHKYTDlZ
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“Daddy went to Heaven.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjT9Zf0SMup
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I couldn’t even breathe so I ignored what he said.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oCMf40Gle
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“Mommy went to Heaven.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1AQWpMaQ8
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He was waiting for me to say something. Finally I managed, “They’re up there together.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNE0qMM9zv
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“Yep. The man told me.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI5HwyEbZm
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Suspicious I asked, “What man?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsQDUQOk0y
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“The man with the red X on his purse.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EsrdBSP8V
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I figured he meant one of the red cross workers. Jeff, who’d woken up too stood in the bathroom door and said, “What did the man look like?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOr0h26Qcn
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“He had a red x on his purse.” I looked at Jeff and he shrugged like it had been worth a shot. Daniel didn’t really see people, he saw things and apparently the only thing about this man that he’d noticed was his red cross bag.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG38nNExaxa
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“I’m hungry.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyM9jzCYd2B
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I’d done just about all I could with Daniel’s hair so I said, “Then come on. Let’s eat.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKEVNZcFiB
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Daniel nearly fell asleep in his plate again so Jeff carried him to bed and once he was down he didn’t move.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR0Bs4FDXK
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“Any more soup left?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GUHqSXTPj
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“About half a bowl. You want it?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY4r1N2MRV
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“You didn’t eat did you?” he asked. It was more a statement than a question.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjfE2FIWG7
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“Almost a whole bowl so don’t be an old fuss budget.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVtSdUNd67
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“Dacey, if we’re going to work together I wish you wouldn’t be so … so snarkey.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTope7WTvu
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Knowing he was right and admitting he was right wasn’t the same thing but I finally said, “I don’t really mean to be Jeff. Things are just … just …”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlvXI4G2VH
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“God awful. Yeah, I get that. Remember, it wasn’t that long ago that my own dad died. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but it doesn’t, it just gets different kinds of hard. But it does stop … stop feeling like your brain is going to explode … eventually anyway. I miss Uncle John real bad too. He did more for me in less than a year than … than my dad did for most of my life. I loved my dad Dacey and Uncle John let me go on loving him even though I got dumped on him with no warning. Your dad was a good man. And your mom was cool too. They were good people and I know they never meant for you … for any of us … to wind up like we have.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLbzTIMaoc
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I shrugged. “I don’t blame them if that’s what you think. I blame the blue hats. And I blame our so-called friends that didn’t stop the Blue Hats even more. What happened isn’t fair but it isn’t my parents’ fault.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECwcdxrlEA
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“Ok. I was just wondering. I … well … I blamed my dad for stuff but your folks … you know?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9Ez7gwIkL
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I shrugged again. I seemed to be doing it a lot. “Yeah, I know.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8wVwnPVQm
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He finished the soup and I did the dishes again. Momma and I had always done the kitchen clean up. Looks like it was going to be my job alone from here on out.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PCNqtC5K0
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“Dacey?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdw4NOYyoM4
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I turned around and looked at Jeff who was standing in front on the pantry. “You still hungry?” I asked.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMFtXHiyrN
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No … well, yes but that’s not what I was asking about. Didn’t Uncle John have a big notebook around here with that inventory he kept up?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCHRMsZL7q
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“Probably in the file cabinet by his desk. Why?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡij8HpXCu6O
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“Come on Dacey, you know why.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFyFPvh7hu
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I did know, I just didn’t want to think about it. “You think it is going to get bad here like it is every place else in the world and that we’re going to run out of food.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssvd5q2Bog
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“I don’t know about run out of food. Uncle John seemed to have a pretty good plan.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KhmN8Bvkj
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“Over three years.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNqTqTVIx3
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“What?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWyMmMehjo
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“Momma said that there was enough grain and canned goods to last more than three years plus all that weird stuff Daddy bought online. But that was before y’all slaughtered the cows and pigs and we had to preserve all of that on top of everything else we already had. I heard her and Dad talking about it. Momma thought he was going a little over board and he was telling her … I don’t wanna talk about it.” I said turning away.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy9wXBKctV
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“Dacey, we gotta talk about it. Things have changed; Uncle John isn’t here to make the plans anymore. I know I’m the oldest and I’m supposed to do it since he isn’t here but I don’t think I can, not without … you know … you helping. Your parents raised you to do this stuff, I only know enough to barely get by.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQCAUUeF4o
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I looked at him and saw how it must have hurt his pride to say it so I figured it must really be true. “I guess neither one of us has a choice.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBcIzvKCwI
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“Sure we do. We can sit down and feel sorry for ourselves and let the bad stuff win.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtAqVZQvGw
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I rolled my eyes, “Forget it. You might be able to swing Daniel like that but that hasn’t worked on me since I got into middle school. I’m not stupid Jeff.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIiO56Q2xD
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“I didn’t say you was.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡde4a9b9Avw
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“No … but maybe I was acting like it. And maybe you’re just trying to work me around so that when you leave you can do it with a clear conscious.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVCee48FgP
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“Hey …”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDU2EYeam2
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I walked over and opened the filing cabinet and pulled the big D-ring binder out and then put it on the table before sitting down. “You are going to leave. We both know it. We just don’t know when you are going to leave. But maybe before you leave we could figure some stuff out.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdakUifuC41
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He sat down in one of the other chairs. “You’re mad.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hfFsLkVPA
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“I was. But I’m not right now. I might get mad again. Depends. So maybe you need to go. Maybe I need to let you go. Maybe that’s just the way things are … people have to leave. Some of them come back, some of them don’t. But I’ll be like really made if you leave and don’t come back sometimes at least.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQq9ORukuB
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Jeff sighed and then said, “Dacey I swear you make my head hurt. How about this? I won’t leave until I’m sure you and Daniel will be OK, or at least as OK as things can be.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKp6pq9VMH
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Something made me say, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXpO9znwad
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“Now what’s that supposed to mean?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh3urrJoGX
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“I don’t know. Sometimes I just … it just seems like after what happened to Dad and Momma … and Daniel … it is bad luck to just make promises like that.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUovFcNBd2
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He didn’t say anything to that but instead started looking at the binder. “I wasn’t here when Uncle John started doing all of this but he showed it to me. I guess he wanted me to know that I was really family.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXyRboJ0xw
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“Yeah. That’s what he told me. He said you were going to be like our big brother and that’s the way we should think of you.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDDIcWvZnl
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Jeff got a funny look on his face, “He said that?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8q8cY6H1E
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“Sure. It’s not your fault that your dad made choices to … um … be wild and junk.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5N1vMp8pZ
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He didn’t have anything to say about that either.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGJAAbeGPN
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“Dacey, how come you can cook like you do? Monica can’t cook worth nothing. Jackson was always ribbing her about it.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7r14bj1fR
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“Yeah, well Momma wasn’t our housekeeper, she was our Momma. And Momma was real nice about some stuff but you know she could be a real bear about things too. No mud in the house, everybody had to help with laundry, if you put food on your plate you were going to finish it or you wouldn’t get anything else until you did, and even Daniel could make his own bed … sorta.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4orE1ghzXm
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“Your mom was totally nice. I never ever heard her holler about anything.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAITOY0KPJ0
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“Sure she was. But that’s because I wasn’t stupid enough to go around breaking the rules just because I could. See she …” and with no warning it hit me and I did what I said I wasn’t going to do; I started crying. I missed Momma. I missed her bad. I realized that she wouldn’t be around to tell me what to do anymore, that I’d have to figure out everything on my own. I’m not a big noisy crier like some girls are, my tears just kind of leak out … but the hurt settles in my chest and makes it hard to breathe.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmitaAGVn10
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I think I remember Jeff patting me on the back and telling me to go lay down for a while and that we’d talk later. All I know for sure is that I woke up in my bed with Daniel in there with me and something smelling like it was burning coming from the kitchen.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0RuX5fCi1
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I jumped and ran down to where the kitchen was. Jeff was trying to cook some eggs and having a hard time of it.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HOhgH9bdM
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“Stove’s too hot,” I told him as I took the skillet from him and moved it away from the heat.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqxkeRPjp9
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“How the heck do you tell?! I only put a little bit of wood in it. There aren’t any knobs on this thing,” he said in obvious frustration.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUGZYUhNLn
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“Practice. Lots and lots of practice. Just pretend you are cooking over a campfire and adjust from there. Where’d the eggs come from?” I asked thinking he’d gone out without telling me.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6VI5obfRl
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“The cooler. Everything in there looks OK except for a few pieces of sliced cheese that are hard on the corners.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpTFz21Shf
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“Did you check to see if the warning light was on … the one Dad set up to come on if there was a power interruption?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxudvQjAld
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“Yes Granny,” he teased, relieved I think to see I was over crying for a while.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIYJi6EjRN
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The eggs were a little crispy around the edges but they weren’t bad. I fried up some canned potatoes and made some pan biscuits to go with the eggs and even Daniel held out his plate for more. It was the first of many good signs. Instead of going back to sleep or acting like a zombie Daniel pulled out his blocks and started playing with them without even being encouraged to do so. He even put on the fleeze scuffy slippers that Momma made him wear around the house when it was cold outside. While he did that Jeff and I went over the cave and everything in it.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXiK35wrc3
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When we were through Jeff said, “I’ll finish putting the shelves together and nail up all of the molding your dad already cut, but not tonight. I need to check out the house and I think it is better that I do it at night.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinDwWMnAtY
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“Don’t you mean we need to check out the house?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaSJ9Ru37Y
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“Dacey, let me go the first time by myself. I promise that if everything is all right we’ll try and all go tomorrow or the next day.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGxRfBSvOW
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8aKOeumzq
I wanted to argue but maybe I was starting to learn so I didn’t. It was real hard to let him do it his way but I did.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdR1f4qj0P
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43B2OFjLOS
“I don’t plan on being there long. Figure half hour there and back, plus half hour or so at the house, so call it two hours more or less. You cool with that?” He acted like I was Daniel's age.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHw7okfU0o
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DaEu3fb9x
“Relax Jeff. Dad made sure I could spend the night in the cave by myself before you came to live with us. That’s one of the reasons Momma made him put the door on the cave before he got it all prettied up. When she wasn’t around he used to fuss about how much trouble it was getting wide stuff through the doorway.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDiTNAtm2n
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt7PeU1Ymh
“Seriously?”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWPCGlwa7y
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0r0b34vXkO
“Seriously. Dad is … I … I mean … he … Dad was really cool,” I finally managed to stutter out.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwNYEPTzmc
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ0DUAV59Q
Jeff nodded solemnly and said, “Yeah, yeah he was.” After sighing sadly he hefted a lightweight backpack he had set aside earlier. He was walking towards the exit door when he did this weird kind of dance that made him look like he was having a seizure. “Rrrrr!” he growled while slamming his fist down on his thigh.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYts9TCXe6s
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmlDHj5cSZ
“What?!”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnD912wzvX
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdBeRo5McC
“Dang it. Dang it, dang it, dang it!! Stupid. Geez!!”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLLqJoyiZn
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW5kbyru2B
“Yo Jeff!! You’re kinda freaking me out. Enough being weird already.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzSSZOaSWv
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv0IQXb0iy
He was smushing his hat down over his ears. “The radios.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7162oGHYMa
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDvC8Tnm3X
As soon as he said it I felt pretty stupid too. “Oh.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3Aj4tnfWi
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jHb2TKhrd
“Yeah. Oh. Look, while I’m gone put the radios to charge. I’ll run the antenna up the trees tomorrow. Maybe we can hear what is going on, get a better idea of how bad things are.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkfufYeVol
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ODcTDzeHb
Walking over to the cabinet where the little hand held radios were kept I said, “Uh huh, and find out if we can pick up stuff from the grocery store or if they are closed.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3uwHjocw2
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFZ6q7IcIG
Jeff shook his head. “Dacey I don’t think we could get to the grocery store even if it is still open. That would be a good way to get picked up by the Blue Hats all over again.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7t2yezZgB
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPqwFXoI4v
“I know that, but we still need to find out if there is any food out there. Dad used to talk about that a lot. Remember he said that if the grocery stores closed it would be the straw that broke the camel’s back.”336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtutUzwpxh
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvh05MQhEr
“All bets would be off at that point. Yeah, he explained it to me. He said people in general will follow whoever has the food. Control the food, control the people.” I handed him a canteen of water and a Clif bar to still in his pack then he left making sure that I locked it behind him.336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcgdZjIQxR
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ObSB9sNBv
The situation we found ourselves in started feeling bigger. When it was just my parents it was just my world and I didn’t have to share my fear or sadness with anyone, it was mine and I could be selfish with my fear. It was mine and no one else could understand it. If the problem was more than just my parents being gone then I had to accept that other people scared and sad too and that maybe I couldn’t control things the way I wanted to. 336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejEUO4ocxb
Penana
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