某天，我坐在家中的廁所，一邊溫習網上考試範圍的《岳陽樓記》，一邊拉屎。
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拉屎的我深深地受到了感動，多麼偉大的人啊，即使被貶官還是一樣憂國憂民！為何現代就沒有這種情操高尚的官員呢！
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正當我熱淚盈眶之時，「噗———」我出產了一坨大便。
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在大便落水之時，一個奇怪的人在我眼前出現了。
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事情發生得太快了，我連他甚麼時候出現、如何出現都看不清，總之，他就是莫名其妙地站在我面前了。
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「來者何人！」面前的人大聲地問，我呆了一陣，還沒來得及反應。
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「……」該問的人是我吧…？
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眼前是個留鬚的大叔，穿着古裝，頭戴烏紗帽，站在我面前。
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別看著我好嗎？壓力有點大呢…我還沒穿褲子欵…
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「哈囉？係咪阿媽嘅客人？點解會喺喥嘅？哈哈哈哈…」冷靜，我必須保持冷靜…
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「來者何人！」他更兇狠地問。
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「啪！」一聲我感到腦中一條名為理智的線斷掉了。
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「惡咩呀惡！而家邊個先係來者呀？！你有病呀？！睇唔到我痾緊屎咩？！」我沒法保持冷靜。
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那人看了看四周，見我也一臉茫然和驚訝，才恍然大悟：「得罪了，吾乃范仲淹，字希文，唔知道點解會突然間嚟咗呢喥。」
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范仲淹？有點熟耳…我看了看手中的《岳陽樓記》，又看看筆記上的肖像畫，這不是作者本人嗎？他是穿越了嗎？
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小說看太多了，我沒有想像中驚訝。
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「果然，你都唔自己知道點解會嚟咗呢喥…」我沉思了一會：「咦？唔係喎，你究竟知定唔知？」
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「唔知。」
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「你知？」
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「唔知。」
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「……」吾知定唔知呀…
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「吾方才行行吓突然間聽到一把聲，好似喺喥呼喚吾，跟著吾就唔知點解嚟咗呢喥啦。」
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方便的話希望你改一下你的第一人稱…
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…………………………
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就是這樣，范仲淹住進了我的家，然後每天望著電視：「嘖嘖嘖，呢個君主真係唔要得，都唔為百姓設想嘅！嚟！畀文房四寶我！等我寫封信去port爆佢！」
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「port咩啫，冇用㗎。仲有，都話唔係君主係特首咯。」
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「嗯，吾明白，叫唔慣啫。」
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「你明定唔明呀…(‾◡◝)」
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「吾明。」
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「……」
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……………………
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今天的香港也很平靜，我如常地躺在家中拯救地球。
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可能經歷過太多事，對於那些亂七八糟的政策，我早已練成一笑了之。
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范仲淹寄到禮賓府的文言文信件在意料之內，沒有得到回覆。
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我看著躺在沙發上和我一起四肢癱瘓當植物人的范仲淹，突發奇想：「希文啊，不如你去做官好唔好？或者區議員都好，香港而家好需要你呢啲咁好嘅官…」
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范仲淹想了一會，惋惜地嘆了一口氣：「少年啊…其實吾…已經搵到返去宋朝嘅方法啦…吾離開咗嘅呢段時間，唔知道吾國嘅子民安康否？一定要盡快返去先得…」
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「吓…你要返去啦？」
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「嗯。」
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「我仲以為…召喚咗你過嚟…你會幫到我哋㖭…」他的回答不免讓我有點失落，我還以為他會留下呢。
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「對唔住…吾大概今晚就會離開，雖然吾冇辦法幫你哋，但係你哋都要努力，唔好畀昏君繼續得逞。」
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「但係…你返到去會畀人貶官㗎喎…？」
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「作為臣子，吾只係希望天下人民過得幸福。無論吾嘅結局係點，吾都會返去，盡吾最大嘅努力照顧百姓。」
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對呢…他的百姓不在這裡，我們的生死與他何干？
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…………………
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范仲淹離開了，回到了過去，我的家安靜了不少。
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他做到了呢，他成為了自己所仰慕的「*古仁人」(*參見《岳陽樓記》)。
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果然，奢求古人的協助，不如努力自救吧。
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亂世之下，誰有心思考慮別人？只有自己才能救自己呢。
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一笑了之？
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呵呵，不了。
ns 15.158.61.4da2
