Yesterday was so fun. I finally got to kiss him and that was the best kiss I have ever had in a while. He was such a gentle person. But what bothers me is, why didn't he continue to make love with me? Why didn't he take me his home and continue? Why? Because he was afraid it might hurt me? Even while dropping me home, he kissed me once again and left me. Is it because he is still not over his old girlfriend? If that's the case, that's really hard for me. Why is he not telling me anything?
The next day, outside my class, there he was waiting for me.
"Hey! How you-"
"Listen, can you not tell anyone what happened yesterday Gin? Look, I am still trying to understand what happened. It's just too much going on."
Uh oh. That's what I was afraid of. He doesn't have any feelings for me. Maybe he didn't want to upset me that's why he kissed. But isn't that bad? He gave me hopes and now he is backing off.
"Well, yeah I understand. Thanks."
I didn't want to hear him anymore, I entered my class and just sat there. I was lost. Literally lost. I wasn't sure what to do. Whom to speak about this and how to speak about this.
And that's when I realized I was hurt. I was hurt that he didn't have any bit of feelings for me and wants us to be friends. I just got kissed by the hottest guy and now he wants us to stay friends. Why? Because I didn't look like any of those skinny model-like girls he has dated? Because I was curvy and quiet and nerdy, and... Ughhh this is too much. I just can't believe what happened.
As I go towards the cafeteria I see him there, leaning against the brick wall, my favorite spot. But no, I can't go any closer to him. I take my seat and start to scroll through my Instagram. And, he accepted my request and even followed me back.
What the heck is going on? He doesn't want to tell anyone about me but then he follows me on social media. And before I know it, he comes and sits across the table with the same grin he gave me the day we met outside the basketball court.260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XnDG52jyM
"What is it now?" I ask him. A bit rude I guess. But yes, I am hurt.260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60bpNnbs9M
"See, whatever I told you in the morning, please don't take it hard on yourself. I just need some time to figure this out. It's a bit new to me-"
"New to you?" I scoff. "Come on, you have dated all those girls and now when I tell you I got feelings, you need time to figure this out? I don't think you do the same with every other girl, except me. Why am I any different? Cause I don't have that model-like body? That's why?"
"NO. Of course not. I like the way you are but I am not sure how to tell you this."
"Don't tell me you are gay and pretending to be straight cause you are popular to not be gay."
"NOO. Of course not. From where do you get such ideas? No. Can we meet after school?"260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI6lfc12DY
"Well, OK sure."
I get up from there and rush to the washroom. I just didn't want to piss anyone. I am so mad at myself. Why is he behaving like this? Is it really hard for him to tell me? After all, I thought we were frank with each other.
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