I wake up in an unfamiliar place with a familiar ceiling, a dark and grimy sky.
I push myself off the hard soil in order to begin my journey. The strong dusty wind immediately threatens to knock me down but I hold my ground while covering my face with my hand.
I push forward knowing who awaits me at the end of this road.
As I walk I begin to think about my daughter, the one left behind. My young ball of sunshine, still daddy’s little girl.
I remember when I played with her yesterday, happy times that I might never experience again.
I’m awoken from the daydream as my feet hit the hard stone. I look up to see her again, her beautiful chestnut-colored hair and emerald green eyes.
My 4th time here.
I grasp my chest and step onto the stone platform. She extends her hand and smiles warmly.
“My offer still stands, won’t you dance with me?”
I stare at her hand and contemplate it for a moment. I’m truly tired, maybe….my time has finally come.
I slowly take her hand and as I do she smiles.
We begin to slow dance and almost with respect the wind dies as light beams down upon us.
As we dance before the end, I stare into her eyes.
“Y-You really do look like my wife….”
“Don’t worry, you’ll see her again.”
I….would very much like that but….
My daughter’s sweet smile flashes in my mind.
We begin to ascend up into the white void in the sky.
I felt light, I felt….
“DADDY!”
My eyes shoot open.
In my mind’s eye, I can see it, my daughter crying at my bedside.
I felt shame, how could I go in peace when I have work left to do.
I let go and end our dance.
“You’re leaving again?”
“Sorry, I....can't let my little girl face the world alone. She still needs me.”
She flashes a smile laced with sadness.
“Till next time then.”
Her last words before vanishing as the harsh winds return and the light fades out.
I felt the taste of regret once again as I watch that hole in the sky vanish, another chance to return to my wife gone.
“I’m sorry sweetie, our daughter still needs a parent. I promise to hold you in my arms again one day.”
The wind lets up for a moment as one last light beam caresses my cheek.
I whisper in gratitude; “I love you”.
I turn around as the wind returns, biting at my back.
My heart begins to ache as I start to breathe again, I grasp it as I wade through the storm until I find the door leading me back to where I belong.
I breathe a sigh of relief, I’ve made it.
I open the door and light pours out bathing me in its brilliance.
I step through knowing I’ll return to the medical bed but it’s a small price to pay to see my daughter again.
The light fades and I open my eyes to a familiar place and familiar ceiling. I look to the right to see my young daughter crying. I gather my strength and reach out to pat her head.
“Don’t worry baby girl, I’m not going anywhere.”
And like the sun after the rain, I’m rewarded with her smile.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
