I know I miss you only when I'm lonely.
I still try to love you when I see you, and I imagine how nice it would be to tiptoe and rest my head between your shoulder blades while hugging your waist.
I grew my nails out for you, you know?
I never knew I had that much self-control in me.
I don't bite them anymore.
I'm trying so hard to be a little bit less ugly in the vain hopes of having you.
If only, if only you knew.
I remember the day I scratched my right forearm until patchy holes formed in my skin.
I remember because I still feel the itch to get out of my skin and be anyone but me.
If you saw my left forearm, you would see the scabs and indents from my (now long) nails slicing into my skin.
What could I ever do to stop being so dependent on the way you used to look at me like I mattered?
Someone once said that if I always looked down, I would never look up.
I do look up, sometimes, but looking up means looking into your eyes, and whenever I look into your eyes, I'm forced to be every bit of what you expect me to be.619Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRIyDqJqbf
If only, if only you knew.
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