The toe of Conner's shoe nails the soft part of my side.
It's been at least fifteen minutes since school ended. I was dragged out here so Conner & Goons could take out some of their frustration and torture me at the same time.
"Stupid fuckin' prick," Conner growls.
"Jason's a fucking wuss," Frank states. I'm dragged up from the ground and slammed into the brick wall, sending a shockwave of pain through my back.
"Since he's not here, you're our plaything for the afternoon." Conner smirks, his face so close to mine I can smell the smoke on his breath.
"Look, I have better things to do," I grumble, prying Conner's hands off of my hoodie. "You've been beating me for at least fifteen minutes. Don't you have a life? Something better to do?"
"Nope!" Bryce exclaims. I roll my eyes as Conner grabs the collar of my hoodie again.
"Fuck off, man," I groan, driving my knee into his stomach. Conner staggers back, pressing a hand to the spot I kneed him.
"You hit me!" he whines.
"Give the man a prize," I say, throwing a hand up and walking away. The trio lets me leave, barking out multiple threats at my back as I leave the parking lot, beginning the walk home in a thunderstorm. Why does it always rain when I'm too injured to walk fast?
I pause. I sneeze. I start walking again.
I cross a street and sneeze the second I hit the sidewalk.
Third sneeze. The fourth and fifth come a few moments later, until I can barely take four steps without sneezing again.
"Oh, this is ridiculous!"
My phone buzzes, and I pull it out of my pocket, thankful that it didn't break during Conner's round of abuse.
Discord: @azalea i really enjoyed yesterdays update. can't wait for the next chap
I sneeze and tap on the notification, pulling up my server.
@conconman Thanks for your continued support; I really appreciate it!
Smiling, I pocket my phone and sneeze again, then stop walking and stomp on the ground.
"Stupid fucking cold!" I shout, swiping a rock from the ground and chucking it at the cement.
"Hey!"
A hand grabs my arm.
"Don't touch me!"
I rip my arm out of the person's grasp and turn my entire body, jumping my gaze up to meet Alex's eyes.
"Sorry I startled you," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's just that I noticed you were injured, and it looked like you have a-"
Alex's sentence is interrupted by me sneezing. I rub the tip of my nose and smile sheepishly.
"A cold," Alex finishes. "I was wondering if you wanted a ride home?"
I shake my head, tapping my fingers against the back of my leg.
"I only live a few blocks away; it would be a waste of gas if you were to drive me."
Alex smiles at me and walks away, getting back in his car and pulling out of the driveway he had parked in.
My phone buzzes again. I pull it out and check the notifications, sneezing as I open my phone.
Discord: @azalea can we have an endgame hint???
@conconman Yeah, she'll end up with the guy named I'm not telling you.
@conconman oooooof
I laugh, watching as everyone comes up with smart-ass remarks to respond to my own smart-ass remark and then pocket my phone. It's unfortunate that most readers assume that my main character will end up with a guy, even though I made the main bi. She and her roommate will end up together. It's also unfortunate that they forgot the fact that I introduced her roommate as a lesbian.
"Hey!"
A hand grabs my arm and yanks me backwards, pulling me into the back of a car. I sneeze for the umpteenth time.
"Let me go!"
A second hand presses against my lips, and I lick it in protest. Someone makes a sound of disgust, but the hand remains where it is.
Okay, guess we're going a step further.
I open my mouth and bite on the hand, causing a yelp. Black fabric is slid over my eyes, and I smirk. They seriously think that's going to do anything?
Y'all might be bullies, but you couldn't kidnap someone properly if your life depended on it.
I reach a hand up and pull the blindfold off, revealing Conner driving, Frank in the passenger seat and Bryce in the backseat with me.
"Did you think any of this through?" I drawl, leaning back against the window. Conner shrugs, keeping his eyes on the road.
"You don't get to get away with disrespecting us," Frank growls, slamming his fist against the window. "You're going to get taught a lesson."
"Honestly, you guys are doing me a favor." I laugh, then yawn, then sneeze. "Wasn't having much fun walking home in a thunderstorm."
"Speaking of thunderstorms-"
"I bet Jason's having a fantastic time right now!" Bryce chuckles, opening his phone. "What with his- his-"
"Childish fear," Conner supplies, grinning over at Frank. "Stupid pussy, scared of simple thunderstorms."
I sit up, more interested in the conversation.
"Bet he's crying his eyes out!" Frank laughs obnoxiously. My attention moves to sentence fragments, putting together the pieces of their conversation topic. A sneeze escapes my mouth as I think.
'Childish fear of thunderstorms.'
'Scared of simple thunderstorms.'
'Having a fantastic time right now.'
'Crying his eyes out.'
"Astrapophobia," I murmur. Bryce's eyes snap to me.
"What'd you say?" he asks, putting his phone down. I glare into his eyes, ignoring the tiny spark of fear in my stomach.
"Jason has astrapophobia, doesn't he?"
"Sorry, we're not dorks who look up big words for fun-"
"Yes," Conner sighs. "Bullshit psychologist said some psycho-babble and claimed my brother had a phobia, when in reality he's just a fucking child. He's so pathetic!"
"Conner, Jason isn't a child, nor does he have something as simple as a childish fear!" I exclaim, grabbing the corner of Conner's seat, my movement punctuated by a sneeze. "He has astraphobia. Do you know what that means? It means that he gets panic attacks! His astrapophobia could be so bad that it happens multiple times during a storm! It could be so bad that he attempts suicide to get rid of it!"
"Suicide?" Conner scoffs, flicking on the turn signal. "Suicide is for girls who want attention."
"That's crossing the line," I growl. Frank and Bryce roll their eyes at me.
"There was nothing false in that statement!" Frank protests. A growl rises in the back of my throat.
"Listen up you dickbitches, suicide isn't a cry for attention. Suicide attempts happen when someone is so broken that they can't take living anymore. Attempts happen because they are so numb to everything that they don't think there's any point for them to live!"
"Oh, shut up!" Bryce groans. Conner pulls the car over and unlocks the door, turning around and slamming his fist against his seat.
"Get out of my car," Conner snarls, his voice remarkably low. I shrug and hop out of the car, flapping my hand goodbye as the car drives away.
Raindrops gather on my phone screen and I sneeze again, groaning.
"I hate rain," I grumble, holding my phone up to my ear.
"Xael, what's going-"
"You work for the Roye family, right?" I interrupt. Lukas sighs, his quiet exhale barely coming through my speaker.
"Yeah. Speaking of which, I'm at work right now and only have a few minutes. What're your questions?"
"Tell me about Jason Roye; I think he was trying to befriend me today."
"He's a good kid. Nothing like Conner; asks us to call him by his first name. All of the staff like him. He's a sweetheart."
"I overheard Conner and a few of his friends talking earlier, and they mentioned Jason and thunderstorms."
"Conner's a dick," Lukas mumbles. "Cray, you didn't hear that!"
"You do remember that most of the staff agrees with you, right?"
"Hi, Cray!" I exclaim cheerfully, sneezing immediately after.
"Hey Xael! Bless you."
"Anyways," Lukas interjects, "Jason has- he suffers from astrapophobia, or astraphobia. We've got a sound-proof room for him to go to during thunderstorms. He gets a panic attack just after the first or second thunder crack."
"And these panic attacks are bad?"
"We've seen attacks that last about an hour, even though-"
"They usually last ten to thirty minutes."
"Yeah," Lukas confirms. "Sorry, Xael, I've got to go. Are you working with Sadie at the barn today?"
"No," I say. "I'm working tomorrow. Bye Lukas."
"See you tomorrow."
I end the call and slide my phone into my pocket, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
"An hour? And Conner really makes fun of him?"
Well, that's kind of how he is. That's a really shitty thing to do, though, make fun of someone's phobia. Call it stupid and childish.
Did Conner cause Jason's astrapophobia?
Jason's already suffered so much, and Conner just-
A sole tear rolls down my cheek, soon followed by others, mixing with the raindrops running down my cheeks.
Jason's suffered so much, and he still smiles. How does he do it?
Conner is such a dick. He's torturing his own brother and makes fun of his astrapophobia. He doesn't give a shit about suicide attempts. He doesn't care about his brother.
What is he hiding?
My heart aches. Not only for Jason, but for Conner too. He's hiding one hell of a secret.
My phone buzzes, and I pull it out. The notification is for a blog update from Rinock.
I don't know what it is about her. She's just so- infuriating! She's smart and uses big words that most people don't understand, and she always speaks her mind!
How can she be so free and outspoken when the world hates her?
How can I keep hurting her when the only person I'm really hurting is myself?
I have a confession to make, guys.
I'm a freak.
I like a guy. I've liked someone who identified as non-binary. I've liked girls.
I don't lust after anyone. I don't enjoy sex, nor do I want it.
I'm such a goddamn freak.
I lie to every girl I fuck. I don't enjoy it. I don't want it.
I don't want to be this fucked up.
I tap on the comment box underneath the update, trying to formulate a response in my head. The sneeze that happens doesn't help me.
You aren't a freak, I begin. A lack of sexual attraction isn't something that only you experience. Quite a few people do. It's called asexuality. You aren't a freak, nor are you fucked up. Liking guys, girls, and non-binary people isn't being a freak. In your case, I think you're panromantic asexual- you can like anyone no matter their gender, and you don't lust after anyone. You aren't fucked up. You're not broken, or a freak, or an abomination.
I reluctantly press post, hoping that my words help Rinock.
Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I look up and around. The storm is still going strong, with thunder occurring quite frequently.
Jason, wherever you are, I hope you're okay.
I continue the walk towards my house, crossing two roads and walking up the driveway without being kidnapped.
"It's a good thing Mom's at work," I mutter, opening the door and accidentally hitting an empty beer bottle. "And of course Anthony was here on my day off."
"Was?"
I freeze, my gaze staying trained on the floor.
"I didn't leave."
Heavy footsteps cross the room slowly, making their way towards me.
"I don't ever leave."
I finally dare to look up, only to be greeted by my father's face centimeters away from mine, his mouth etched into a permanent disapproving frown, the smell of beer rolling out of his mouth.
"Why are you so late?"
"It was raining, and I ended up getting a-"
I whip my head to the side, sneezing into my elbow.
"A cold," I finish, smiling weakly at my father. "Caused me to walk slower than normal. Sorry I'm home late."
"Go get me a beer."
I nod and scurry off, stepping over shattered bottles in the kitchen before grabbing a beer and performing hopscotch to deliver it.
Your majesty, I have fulfilled your request. Is there anything else milord would like to ask this humble servant to do before she retreats back to her quarters?
I very wisely hand my father his beer silently before turning around and all but sprinting to my room, desperate to stay away from his drunk hands.
I open my laptop and enter the password, closing my door behind me.
"Time to get cracking on the most important thing- YouTube."
Hours. I waste hours rewatching let's plays I've seen multiple times already. And by that I mean SubNautica. I spend my time watching SubNautica.
"If I could get that game, I would- oh, Rinock responded to me!"
I open Rinock's blog on my computer, reading through his reply.
Thanks for telling me all of this. I didn't know that there was a term to describe how I feel. I've spent the past hours looking up asexuality, and I think that is what I am. Thank you, for letting me know that I'm not as much of a freak as I thought I was.
I type out a small you're welcome message, then delete. And rewrite it, and delete it again. Then I proceed to spend the next twenty minutes trying to create a good reply, and finally come up with the fact that I can't formulate a good response to save my life.
"Ugh."
"Xael!" my father barks. "Someone's here for you!"
"Coming!" I call back, stashing my laptop in an empty shoebox before leaving my room. To my surprise, when I get to the door, it's Cray.
"Hey!" he exclaims brightly, lifting a hand in greeting. "Mind coming with me for a few hours? Mr. Andrews, I promise to return her in one piece."
My father grunts in response, taking another drink of his beer. Cray grabs my hand and pulls me out of my house, nearly slamming the door shut.
"Get in, we're going to the Roye's place," Cray explains, opening the driver door of his car. I comply with his command, buckling my seatbelt.
"Why, exactly?" I ask. Cray smiles at me before reversing, pulling the car onto the street and merging with the one-car traffic.
"The kitchen staff are making dinner right now, but they need another pastry chef to help make dessert. I figured you could help cook actual food and allow one of the staff move over to pastry."
I nod, a smile moving onto my face.
"Also, you can hang out with Jason for a while. Keep him company, or tutor him! He needs math help."
I nod and switch on the radio, channel-surfing until I settle on a pop station for songs from before 2013.
"Remember that cover artist you found-"
"Jonathan Young?"
Cray nods, snapping his fingers and pointing at me.
"That's the one. He made a compilation of all of his villain covers and it is by far the most beautiful piece of art I've ever had the pleasure of hearing."
I shrug, pull out my phone, and connect it to the car using Bluetooth, pulling up YouTube as it connects.
Cray and I sing along to every song, fangirling when In The Dark of The Night comes on.
"We're watching this movie tonight!" Cray shouts, bobbing his head. I nod in agreement, mouthing the words as I dance in my seat.
"Bet no one else in the Roye mansion has even heard of Anastasia," I say, turning down the music just the slightest. Cray turns it right back up before nodding, dancing around in his seat while the traffic light is red.
"Well, Lukas might've- actually, no. Wait, maybe he has! On second thought, I don't think-"
"It's okay, take your time," I laugh. Cray glares at me and moves the car forward, turning and pulling into a fancy driveway blocked by a fancy iron gate, which is preventing us from entering the fancy courtyard belonging to the fancy mansion which is inhabited by a fancy family.
Did I mention the fancy part yet?
"Cray and Xael." Cray leans out of his window, pressing a button on a speaker.
"Xael! What's up, loser?"
"Nothing much, assclown," I respond. Lukas laughs, his melodic voice causing Cray to smile sheepishly and blush.
"Are we allowed in or no?" Cray asks.
"I don't know. There seems to be a suspicious character in your car. He looks like he goes by the name of Cray. Suuuper suspicious."
"Can you just let us in already?"
The gate swings open, allowing Cray to enter the premises and pull around to the back of the building, parking under the shade of a tree.
"They really do care about you guys, don't they?" I question, looking around at all the security around the staff's area. Cray shrugs, walking up a small staircase and opening the door at the top.
"They take care of us," Cray states, closing the door once I'm inside. One of the guards places a hand on my shoulder, grinning down at me.
"Jonny! What's up, man?"
Jonny and I exchange a fistbump. Cray waits patiently as Jonny tells me about his daughter starting her hormones last week.
"Tell her I said congratulations!" I call as Cray finally drags me away. Jonny nods and waves goodbye, and Cray lets go of my arm.
"Look, I love you two, but this is super important," Cray begins. "Could you keep your catching-up to a minimum until we all eat supper?"
I nod, walking into the mansion's kitchen and grabbing my apron off of the wall.
"What's the menu?" I ask. Hannah steps up and rattles off the main appetizers, main dish, and desserts before moving back to her station, tossing some vegetables.
"Xael, I didn't know you were coming in today!" Hayden exclaims, looking up from his dip. "We actually got our issue solved!"
"Really?" Cray wonders, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Who'd you get to replace Terry?"
"Hey, Jason!"430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DlGX69rA3
The brown-haired boy looks up from his batter and nods at Cray, smiling at me when our eyes meet.
Question of the chapter: how'd you guys find Moments?
What do you guys think of Conner and his thoughts in this version?
Thanks for reading!
ns 15.158.61.48da2
