——————
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Que sera sera (法文)
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Whatever will be , will be
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將會發生的，將會發生
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——————
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2218/9/6
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佐島一茂
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——————
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「該死」
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「咳哈啊⋯呀⋯⋯咳啊！」
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眼球還沾著的樣子，因為身上沒有水源，只可維持這樣子，越眨眼，灼燒的感覺越為盛上
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合眼張眼，早已弄到眼皮背後上，致淚水不斷彷如過敏反應，連眼角亦紅腫像裂痛，估計無疑吧
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喉嚨也有同樣的痛覺，甚至胸膛之中
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「嘔⋯咳⋯嗚⋯⋯咳呀」
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似乎有點跑了去胃的樣子，始終無色的氣體並不能在這灘糊狀中分辨，倒數是胃酸倒流的感覺覆蓋了前者，稍微能支撐的程度
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站一旁，吐著口水，嘗試將痛感通通吐出來
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「⋯⋯咳⋯」
「噁⋯咳⋯」
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不過大概火燒的感覺才沒有那麼快去掉
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大概
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由石縫中爬出此處，迎接此處的昏暗，痛感仍然存在
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全彩至純黑白，空間不算很闊，牆壁和地面同時在視野中可到，只是天花板，似乎沒有那般存在
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緩緩靠往牆邊，逐步次步前進
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自己夜視的能力並非很強，是稍不至於夜盲程度，有景像的範圍也大概兩、三米
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當然也好過摸黑前進
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前進約數十米，時間不長，頂多三、四分鐘，到達一個終於可見到頂的地方，而牆壁反而不見
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是個矮樓頂的闊房間吧，多半
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於原地輕呼氣，提醒自己現時的首要目標
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探索著此空間
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「宿舍區⋯嗎？」
「⋯⋯」
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——————
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憑什麼
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——————
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2218/9/5 -神隱島//KDUL基地遺址//G20層-A區物資站
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也許是受傷的關係，男子的走路姿勢活像喪屍，拐著拐著，左瓦礫堆右玻璃碎，樓頂更是塌了下來的樣子，受微弱的緊急照明燈引領，走在不時佈滿裂痕的水泥地，向唯一的道路走
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在如此末日般的情境，少年臉上閃過見鬼的樣子，具體來說，眉頭一皺，發現事情並不簡單⋯才沒有
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似曾相識的感覺而已
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被困的窒息
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姓為佐島名為一茂，男子他的雙眼此刻顯得無神，如同忘了自我的樣子，卻認真一看，原來只是把當下的自己放空，所以軀體內的，是曾經的感受，但怎會揮之不去的模樣呢？
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『哥⋯⋯哥⋯⋯』
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『好⋯⋯冷喔⋯⋯』
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伴隨涼風，乘其接來的，是熟悉的味道，就在道路盡頭的方向，位於不遠處，奄奄一息的生氣
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步向其方向，感官越為強烈，逐漸地，好像看到了散發其的主人
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⋯
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肉體中混合機件的是人形，但從其流出的味道倒是一樣，然而導致這，亦可能是壓在其身上的⋯
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冰箱
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「⋯」
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—— 嘖嚼 ——
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『對不起』
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『對不起』
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「⋯？」
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由瓦礫堆傳出的聲音，比起任何正發出的聲音更響，抹走殘渣，即時走近
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只見一個身影正倒在碎石堆
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「鈴木⋯？」
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「花子！」
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少女的氣息，與記憶中的她同樣
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「花子！沒事吧？」
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男子的聲線連呼吸亦在震抖，堪為急促
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『但老實說，已經好一會兒沒有見他這樣子，此等激動』
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女子想著，並非空閑，純粹大腦已經開始昏迷了
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已經支持不住
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「⋯嗚⋯⋯」
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「花子？花子！」
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男子跪了下來，扶起意識薄弱的對方
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「這傷口⋯什麼⋯該死的 —— 」
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意識卻已經晃晃盪盪地迷暈著
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不行了
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不行了
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不行了，閉上眼睛了
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⋯⋯
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要死了嗎？
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「醒了嗎？」
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「⋯⋯咳⋯呀⋯⋯」
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醒來後的第一感覺，是絕大的疲力，全身上下亦一一體驗強大的地心吸力中
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就連眼皮也是，好累，要睡覺，但
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但它不讓我睡
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它兩指輕壓在左右眼皮上，將不斷墮下的頂住
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即使淚水，那出於顫抖中的眼球，沾在其潤滑像水本身的指頭
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我想眨眼，但眼皮動不了
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視線再模糊，眼窩又再如何地溺水，但紫色的光源實在太為特出
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明明只是眼皮，眼球卻一同動不了
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我在盯著對方，儘管我不想，至少以目前狀態來說
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我是有病的那方，理所當然，然而這不是我的錯，對嗎⋯？
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我也不想有病，我也不想是宿主，我不想這樣子
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我討厭這樣的自己
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我不想
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我不希望
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我討厭
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尤其是那眼窩的壓迫感，在指頭的施力下無比辛苦，額頭一股閉塞感
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水感接觸表面的麻痺和刺痛，淚水不斷湧出來，沾在指頭，還有自己的臉上
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直流至嘴角，咸味，想大叫也好，喉嚨彷彿不存在，使力的感覺是空洞
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唯一能做的，似乎為單純感受這折磨，無數釘子刺著的感覺，再更為使力，像要進入自身瞳孔中
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它進入了
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從單純的刺痛感燃升為灼燒，卻眼窩本身是冷的，身體各部份又個別不同，忽冷忽熱
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額頭的壓迫感演變成完全的閉塞，頭開始暈，空氣、氧氣開始進入不到鼻腔內
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但貌似，有些什麼更大的，正從脊上攀爬著，嘗試進入腦袋內
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「為什麼要放棄呢？」
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「咳啊？！」
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「鈴木，你動搖了」
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNI4oLOHSC
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOQpUTINub
聲音是從兩側耳直入，它在自己耳旁輕語，沒法子回神
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畢竟痛感繼續是激烈，還是眨眼不能，但只知意識不能與身體的感官同步
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越是嘗試保持清醒，抵抗痛感，嘗試去看去聽，意識越是被那強烈的干預牽引出身體，意識脫離本體而出
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身體如同被切開的感覺
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不行
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我要⋯
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我要⋯⋯不好了
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「嘔吐！咳咕！」
「咕嘔嚕——咿唔嘔！」
「⋯哈咳⋯咳⋯」
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喉嚨好痛⋯
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「⋯好點嗎？」
「來⋯⋯喝到水嗎？」
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聲音，很正常，視覺模糊但回來了，沒有了剛才的烈痛，好歹能真正感受到那處在痛，而非一股窒息的密集
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盛著淚看自己的手在抖，冷嗎？有點
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但比起之更是疲力和痛
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接過杯子，但對方沒有放手，扶著自己的手，托著
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雖說杯子是塑膠，但從未發覺塑膠也能如此重
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放在唇邊，輕輕一口接一口
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但口腔實在是太苦澀，叫自己喝著的時候也在發痛，打算就此吞下去便可以，倒是遲遲未能喝下的前提，那缺氧感使自己反胃而再吐了一次
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpdd3PNNAS
「⋯咳⋯咳！」
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此刻吐出了的是單純的水，卻見桶子內的不是透明，而是更為刺激眼球的
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「——咳！嘔⋯」
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「⋯可以嗎？」
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「⋯⋯唔⋯嗯⋯」
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再次吐入桶內，透明中稍有混濁，但被先前的紅光一一掩蓋
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將胃袋抽出了身體般，我忘了自己吐了多久、多少次，倒是痛與嗆感逐漸式微
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直至上胸的空囊感出現
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「⋯⋯嗚⋯」
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見自己終於完事之後，把桶子移走後，他接著又嘗試給自己水，望自己輕嚼一口又好，稍微灌些許水進食道，沖洗一下刺痛，卻那兒早已遭酸性漆滿了
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算了，又不是不痛
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYlXScggbV
「咕⋯嚕⋯⋯咕⋯嚕」
「⋯⋯哈⋯」
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頭重腳輕
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「別亂動，你的腿傷還未好」
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lqxU1rRsY
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靠在後方的牆上面，托著額髮去抹去之上的水珠，冷汗的汗珠總是莫名地奇多
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「咳啊⋯」
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喉嚨有股黏凝，不像是什麼痰，微微不經意時稍刺一痛的感覺，反是像出血，有傷口的感覺
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精神還是浮浮沉沉的感覺
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畢竟全身的力量都歸於腿部了，一大傷口上
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⋯⋯
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「⋯休息一下吧」
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在微弱的燈光下，若隱若現的他，他的臉上依舊露出表情，沒有
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「⋯」
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房間很狹窄，就如⋯就如自己在那什麼醫院區那兒時的房間一樣
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正方，混凝土結構，橫放的光氣投射機
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「⋯⋯」
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大和
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我不明白
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「⋯⋯我先去找一下有沒有路——」
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是什麼原因
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「我說」
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到底是怎麼樣子的原因
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才使她成為這樣子
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「⋯」
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「花⋯鈴木，怎麼了⋯？放心，我不是放著你不管——」
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是什麼？
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為什麼大家都這麼的無憂無慮無自覺
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難道看不見嗎？
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「我説」
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「為什麼要置之我於不理？」
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頭髮轉成深綠，凝重而彩系的濃欖綠
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——————
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順從
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使人
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屈服
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——————
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzcqpwA4A9
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3XYK5JMSB
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXqZuBZo1Z
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深綠，濃厚且不自然的黑欖綠
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眼線因為瞪大之雙眼，輕微而顯眼地延伸了出去
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淚腺稍脹，但比較注目的，是由黑轉紅，又輕淡而逐漸綠的瞳孔和眼白
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她的呼吸緩慢了，亦可能單方面自身的感覺，但仰視此方的，是一對不止鋭利的眼神，極為不友善
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她在仇視自己
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「為什麼要這樣」
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「⋯你說什麼」
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因為一個原因
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她希望我能幫她
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但我沒有
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「為什麼你沒有用對良世的方法，來幫我」
「為什麼？」
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她希望我能為她站出來
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在她最需要自己的時候
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「你說為什麼？」
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「因為⋯因為你記得？」
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「⋯⋯難道⋯難道就是因為⋯⋯」
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「當年的我沒有等你？」
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「拜托⋯回答一下我⋯」
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「⋯恕我拒絕」
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我不能
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「⋯⋯我」
「我不想討論那件事情」
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聲音在顫抖
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「你從來⋯沒有打算⋯⋯和我說任何事情」
「我曾經⋯以為你是我的朋友」
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「⋯⋯」
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「但⋯你⋯⋯到最後還是⋯決定默聲⋯⋯不發⋯⋯呢」
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「⋯⋯」
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「⋯」
「⋯我⋯我明白了」
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「⋯⋯」
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一如既往，我沒有出聲，我選擇不去發聲
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「⋯」
「你先走吧」
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她將頭裁入兩手肘以大腿之上，那個細小的空間
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「⋯我會跟上的⋯⋯待會」
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聲音因為一層障隔而稍模糊起來
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「⋯⋯」
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凝視著她，連腳步也僵硬的狀態
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反正事實不只一層隔模
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我亦靠近不了
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「⋯」
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「⋯⋯我說」
「⋯我想⋯⋯自己一個人⋯⋯靜靜」
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⋯⋯
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反正
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我早已放棄
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再往會偏離已定的方向，掙扎了
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鈴木，你會明白嗎？
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不溝通是最好的理論上溝通方式
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不溝通是最好的理論上溝通方式
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2218/9/6
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鹿波依奈子
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&
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大和英花
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「大和⋯」
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「我已經走不動了」
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比起倦意，無生氣的聲音貌乎出於困擾，依奈子的表情回復原狀
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果然，她一開始那呆然的笑容並不能持續多久，就如流星的出現，逐漸消退得尾巴也看不到，看得來時又已經察覺太遲，早該和之率直
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應該一早在依奈子未開口時便發現
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但現時與她的距離越來越遠⋯
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別說現在自己的模樣連自己也害怕，也知道自身氣息的裏頭混入了不少的他物，好比這股擾攘繞人頸下的陰暗感，單是感受著就令舌頭乾燥，手腳束抖，鼻腔騷動不安
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「嗯」
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「⋯嗯」
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聲音震如息止，能發出的最後一聲
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屏息是一秒，閉塞的是左右眼睛內側
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdY52tRik8
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZS8neEdiOD
「鹿波——」
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「大和⋯大和⋯⋯」
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不算什麼突如其來，始終剛剛的，便是現在衍生至這樣子的訊號
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依奈子那從上流下的大珠，劃過臉頰津紅，在那一抖一抖的下巴，聚成水滴落下
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她在努力地張開眼睛，但從神情，淚光佈滿半張臉，很微小而緊密的顫抖，以及看著也感覺痛的幅度，咬住自己的下唇，斷斷不絕的泣號還是繼續溢斥出口
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少女就在原地，顫抖著身體而哭泣著
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撇除其他，她是個和我一樣的女孩，也是一種人，宿主
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同樣，經歷這種不明的不安
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「對⋯對不起⋯我⋯也不知道⋯人家⋯⋯為什麼⋯嗚⋯⋯」
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「⋯嗚咽⋯我⋯我⋯對不⋯⋯嗯⋯」
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握緊拳頭，手背的指筋無比的明確，表現、感覺上弱小的軀體，內在的織熱卻是可以感受到的程度
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「嗚咽⋯嗚⋯⋯」
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「⋯鹿波」
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「為什麼？！」
「為什麼一定要是我？！」
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「為⋯為什麼我總要經歷這種種的壓力？！」
「我不要！才不要！」
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「可不可以⋯可不可以⋯⋯放過我⋯⋯放過我可以嗎？」
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「我受夠了⋯⋯」
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「我⋯人家只是想回家⋯我不要這樣子⋯嗚」
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「拜託⋯結束吧⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯好辛苦⋯」
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「⋯⋯嗚⋯」
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不難辨識，依奈子正處在崩潰的狀態中
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「⋯⋯大和⋯」
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「我⋯我該怎麼辦？」
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仍然在顫抖
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「鹿波⋯」
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「⋯」
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIgIHJRjDz
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfaywgdOYt
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XzbatNvoE
「放心吧，沒事的，一定」
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「我們一定會平安活出去的」
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINNIMmw6a5
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrpzSbDcZM
「⋯⋯憑⋯什麼？」
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「憑什麼⋯⋯？」
「⋯當然⋯⋯」
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「這是我向你保證的」
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「你接受嗎？」
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIt7W1GYRq
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7H56r9mbe
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukHIhB7NV6
再度降低蛇身，我靠近
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「⋯⋯」
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將少女的身體包裹在懷中，變異的身體明顯地有所不同的感觸感，倒是硬化的皮膚仍然能感受到溫暖的存在，且格外地，熾心
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將頭栽進自身懷中，然後張開手，摟抱
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依奈子抱住我的肚子，把臉栽入自己懷裏
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呼吸比較上平坦、穩定
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仍然急促
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「⋯嗎？」
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「嗯，我保證」
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「一起逃出去，平安無事地出去」
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「無論如何，我會保護你的，所以說」
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「怎樣？」
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「⋯怎樣⋯⋯」
「人家才搞不清楚⋯」
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感受到言語中少許騷動，胸懷內稍微冷冰，卻只是比較起本身的熾炎才是這樣子，本身，一滴兩滴的每一滴也是納悶的濕淋
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呼吸仍然急促
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「我討厭這樣子」
「我討厭各種的不明不白」
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「好像⋯彷彿一切都不合理」
「突如其來」
「斯而使人受傷」
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「我討厭」
「我好怕」
「我好害怕啊⋯」
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「⋯⋯」
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輕撫那直順的黑長髮絲，接著六手共同抱住
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但始終感受到的，只有一等一的安心
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然而，足夠了
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對我而言，對她而言，對我們而言⋯卻⋯沒有什麼但是⋯⋯
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安心本身就是不需要解釋
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「⋯」
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「不用說下去」
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「沒關係的」
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「⋯但無論如何，我們一定可以離開這裏」
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6f5BgkxiFM
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「⋯⋯」
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「我也希望⋯」
「但——」
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「夠了，這樣便夠了⋯」
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「⋯⋯大⋯和⋯⋯」
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「沒事的」
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「一定」
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——————
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qp2g7Bnjv
Que sera sera (法文)
Whatever will be , will be
將會發生的，將會發生
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Que Sera sera
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反正因為平凡，存在平凡，活得平凡、感得平凡、生得平凡，死得平凡
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平凡年代
平凡淡趣
平凡無奇
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平凡
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您根本沒有選擇權
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只要「平穩」就好了
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好了
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夠了
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——————
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——————
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抱頭鼠竄跪地痛哭而選擇了
「 生 存 下 去 」
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這裏可是「樂 園」呢
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Que Sera sera
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存在的價值和紅化的生命單純為
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因果定 因果論
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從服、無本性，罪惡是扎根於本性
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就這樣為保留僅存的理性而
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哀苦吧 哀愁惱吧
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Que sera sera
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——————
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「不知道⋯依奈子她⋯⋯」
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「放心吧，沒事的」
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怎看也好，兩人也是同一個樣子，和鹿波一個樣無誤⋯但又有⋯完全不一的氣息
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不懂怎樣形容⋯⋯
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總之不同⋯就是了
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無所謂了
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新世在前面走著
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自己在後面
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兩個鹿波伴在旁
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一路以來沒什麼異樣，感覺才是最大的異樣⋯嘛
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的說
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是沒什麼關係的説
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但就⋯總之
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總之事情儘快結束就最好呢⋯然後
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然後繼續戴著頸項環，和隻動物一樣，過作為宿主的日子
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如斯幻想多麼的不健康呢(笑⋯)
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⋯⋯
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沒差多少
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⋯我反正不值得擁有正常的日子
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人家可是現行犯⋯對鹿波⋯⋯預備去⋯
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gE6fvAeaN
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1HSELB6R7
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禽獸！
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRtaSgY9Xm
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBUEaiKKEx
「⋯喂喂，怎了？別發呆啦」
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「抱歉⋯對不起⋯」
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「你兇到別人家了」
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「抱歉啦，我——」
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「沒關係」
「不用放在心上」
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視線交接，可還是放棄吧，不在曾有那念頭之後
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好歹當作尊重一下對方吶⋯
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「⋯嗯」
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOQvthbjI2
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxXnd5Q2E2
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOZqO4VBw7
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrVscgBz8e
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「吶吶！」
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一概地天真無邪的聲音，良世正引著大家注意
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「這個⋯好像是出口喔！」
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指著前方開啟了的大閘，女孩笑著嚷道
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「A點撒離區⋯不知道能不能到外面去呢⋯」
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抬頭，女性望著上方的橫標
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「喂，那個⋯那麼依奈子⋯⋯這樣⋯真的可以嗎？」
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「以個人意見，先處理好自己再去顧及他人吧」
「仔細想，這種地方本身太多不定因素了」
「先確保自己安全吧」
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「⋯嗯」
「先離開的話更好吧⋯吶？」
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「那麼就⋯」
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話語的尾音是往上勾的未完成式，其視線彷似剛由另一個次元看回來
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「很像依奈子的姐姐，一起走吧！」
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「嗯」
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依舊是引人注意的她
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有股莫名的憂傷
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還是，那只是我？
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沒所謂了
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又有什麼關係
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貓耳朵有點癢⋯的說
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「⋯呼⋯⋯」
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趕快離開這惡境吧——
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375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAQDRpJ4ur
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「不要過來！」
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這聲音是——
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「快點 —— 嗚咳 —— 啊！！」
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可能是本來還是鬆戒著，並沒有看清楚剛剛的畫面，只知道當金髪的倒地，以極不尋常的姿勢，橫向仆倒而前，跌到
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頓時心臓立馬知道危機的存在
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視線直盯前方，落在金髮的頭上，同樣落在其頭上的，是一根透黑，不，是墨綠，如角似的插在其頭側，只是
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf8EeyHHFV
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那才不是角
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「⋯呼⋯我説⋯就從⋯最小的開始動手吧⋯」
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是高跟鞋的跟，其主人，是那個鈴木
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宿主化的她
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「新世！」
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我無法理解自己的行為，但沒差吧
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感到心跳不是加速，反而緩慢起來，但每下愈來愈強勁，心跳震至胸膛抖動、眼睛晃動，輕微的電流感閃過，全身上下，從來不知道其真正的路程，儘管知道是一個接一個，但其速度快至一瞬的程度
375Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Gt2hHuu2S
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耳朵站立起來
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眼睛滾至直前
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指頭、手指、手臂初發痛，然又緊崩，叫人想發洩
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大腿、小腿、腳跟，似被刺扎而屈了起來，每部分肌肉稍作曲折，只有腳趾部分仍碰著地
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我清楚，這是貓科的攻擊動作
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直覺，距離四米
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為什麼？我可應該逃跑呢，又不是沒有經歷——
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「啊⋯」
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翠綠的顏色不是在發光，只是單單叫人注目討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己——
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
我⋯我為什麼要站出來？ 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
因為自己對新世的看法是「自己的獵物」，衍生的獨佔欲？還是其他？ 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
⋯ 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
我才不曉得 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
就因為聽到她即將被傷害？ 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
別開玩笑了 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
我？正義感？可不存在 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
⋯⋯ 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
隨便啦 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己 討厭自身吧，禽獸，就此吧，結束，放棄自己
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「吼！」
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出於肺喉原始的聲吼響動，為我對其的回覆
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回神過來，已經在大閘的前方，使力撥拳，擊開空氣，但我知道她那塑膠的皮膚沒離自己那拳多遠
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「⋯同樣的招數⋯不奏效了嗎？」
「貓咪⋯真是可愛呢⋯」
「抱歉啦，原諒我可沒空想出新招來使你乖巧」
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聲音很微弱，如夢話一樣
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「快點跑！」
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呵呵，我是在裝什麼呢⋯
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以我的能力阻止不了她
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人家頂多只能拖延
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沒關係了，反正於此處，不明不白，毫無原因的一切，已經是常態，顛覆概有的「正常」、「常識」
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我不需要為自己的想法尋找原因
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「我待會兒再回來和你玩呢⋯」
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向腳下的輕語，她抬回頭，看過來，輕輕一笑
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笑得人心發寒
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—— 啪 ——
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—— 咯 ——
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「啊！！！」
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使力向下踩，雖則鞋跟沒有斷，但剛剛那奇怪的清脆聲音以及那撕肺裂喉的慘叫代表的，恐怕是指有其他東西斷開了
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「咕⋯」
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躍起，跑近
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來了
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「⋯貓咪⋯我才沒空和你玩遊戲」
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什麼——
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剛剛才在自己前方，但又突然消失在眼前，聲音卻在右方——
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啊
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她不是消失了，她
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她縮小了
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在自己肩上跨過
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「你——」
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—— 碰 ——
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背脊一之前，的是兩眼一黑，伴隨額頭的破皮
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只見正常身形的她正繼續衝往其等人
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是改變身形的能力？
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「吼⋯咕」
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「吼！」
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彈跳向前，手碰地，後空翻而追上距離
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「啊！」
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良世的聲音
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不能
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「給我放開她的手」
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空中揮拳，雙拳直下，然而所感到的只有空氣的質感，不難怪，貓眼所見到的，是正在縮小的她
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她閃避了一擊
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如我所願
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—— 碰揭 ——
—— 咯 ——
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順以前空翻的慣力，以及重量，使勁力雙腳直下，儘管貓科動物的手足有軟勢所在，但我，是人
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是宿主而已
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充血而硬化的腳板，使力搯下地面
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稍有破裂且陷入，果倒她站不穩
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現只有書本大小的她向後跌，和自己的腳尖形成直線
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稍斜腳跟，抄踢起
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—— 碰 ——
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我沒有控制自己的力量，即使有可能這下子會要了對方的命，我不知道，人家才不管了，沒有起殺意亦好，此股強烈不已的激鬥使自己控制不了
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「賀羽姐姐！」
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「噫？！」
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—— 碰 ——
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「—— 呀？！！」
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好痛！
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震至頭骨，一陣突如其來的衝擊從腦後勺直接襲來，叫眼前一黑，險些昏倒，身體油然前傾，在落地前一瞬轉身，藉背向地
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「⋯什麼——嗚！」
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—— 碰 ——
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身形大了一倍多，目測三米有多，話不定過四米，一腳踏下來的那刻若不避開，自身的上身即成肉醬，粉身碎骨
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不是誇張，但我旁邊的地板是完全陷裂的程度
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不是我起了殺意
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是她
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—— 咻 ——
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過來了！
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鞋足的橫移，看來是想以其人之道還治其人之身，但速度上——
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稍有優勢而已
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跳至其腳面
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—— 碰 ——
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「嗚哈啊？！！」
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脊椎的末端傳來最激烈的刺感，如有至上額量的電流通過全身，好痛，痛得要吐出來了，怎麼搞的，我可不是避開了嗎？！受傷的那是——
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那是⋯
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尾巴
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感覺到血管的擴洞感，尾巴的重量多了，腫刺的，像內出血、斷了，不過更致命的是，我失平衡了
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「嗚吼！」
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鋒利的指甲抓著其絲襪，後空翻，繞大腿而上，跳上去——
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「滾開」
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揮來，大手打走了我
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是嗎？
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是連碰也沒碰到，直接牽連的強風吹到失衡
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這樣子的說
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尾巴紅腫得不得了，痛楚其後的倦意，繼續活動時的腫痛，互相循環，失血的冷刺一直在尾椎襲上來，扯著腦髓，要扯過來，把力量，吸過去的虛弱感
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不行，好痛，不行，超痛
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不能
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不可以任由這傢伙
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既然手腳如此發達也不足於重傷，那只能使上再為厚硬難折、發達無窮的攻擊
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「吼喔」
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「啊？！」
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使上最強勁的肌肉，身體最堅硬的地方，密集而強力的突攻，分出勝負的一下子
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獵者、獵物
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往最脆弱而又最大面積的要害
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咬下去
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「吼喔！！！」
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犬齒確實地穿插了入去，門牙亦感受到物質的切裂，智齒則是好好地做好了其工作，粉碎
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塑膠的硬質無味很快就被熟悉而染鼻的濃甘蓋過，看來儘管是人形公仔的外貌，但本身作為人類的真相，從來改變
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肉的口感，血的味覺，越是咬下去，就越來勁，整個腦海入面也是那刺激的鮮味，甚至連疲意亦不能襲上來
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保持理性之野獸的味覺
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我沒有停下來，卻傷口越來越小，不，是她的身體比例在縮小，傷口則愈為有深度
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她在掙扎，從那早已染滿銅臭的肩膀上，想拉自己下來，卻回復正常身形大小比例的她，只不過成為了自己的獵物，絕妥正名的狀態
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「嗚啊！」
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有這麼的一下子，就一下子，大概因為宿主化的改變，還有腎上腺素的協助，以及自己口部肌肉在一段收縮之後的倦意關係，成功推開了自己的口，使這整套嚐血鋒牙利齒離開了傷口，我看見了那稍有喘息的表情，但沒有多久，再次咬下去
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啃咬下去
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卻
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頓時有絲不定的鼓騷由胸膛發出，使自己切實的磨齒下去前停了下來
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前半秒知道不妥，下半秒隨即反應
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鬆口，使拳揮向其臉，但因其鬆忪的那刻，身體之放鬆，平衡的不一致，自身的瞄向遺準，那拳擦過其背
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她趴了在原地
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自身亦因再度歸來的疲意，坐了在地上
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磨損了其衣服，傷口只是擦傷
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鼻子告訴自己，儘管眼看滿地紅也是出於面前的她，但空氣中的氣味，有另一股更為濃烈，不是和口中的一致，而是更為淡味而又局部腥鮮，不是臭味，單純的味道，如牛奶和奶油的比較，更普通嫩小味淡的前者，如小孩子的血
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小孩的血
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呀？
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「不過呢，似乎直接的催眠無效而已」
「『幻境』可還是無人能克服呢」
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眼睛，眼睛欺騙了我
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「——啊！」
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隨即得見真相而驚恐的人，並不只有我一人
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在稍遠處的，傳來的尖叫
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⋯⋯
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鈴木的傷口上，正放著一隻手，斷掉的手，白骨的裂縫尖鋭亦可納入視野內，如冰柱一樣，末端逐流而滴，血的流行是圍之而令其正面，留白，還有那少了一根指頭的手掌
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正正是唯一正解
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沿之紅池，川河，一直追尋至剛剛的聲音發出處
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「新世⋯你⋯⋯」
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看了只有一眼，頂多兩眼而不多於三，油然而生的恐懼卻烙印了
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硬生生的斷骨，骨頭和肌肉的移位，血流成河，成湖，堪至全個地板滲水似，本人亦以奄奄二息
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我們毫不察覺
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「你這混帳！」
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「你又能拿我怎樣？小貓咪」
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站起來，即使受了傷，仍然筆直並嘗試表現出那一概，而又病態至極的淑雅
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笑著，語道
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「接下來，可是你了呢」
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「反抗吧」
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「尖叫吧」
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「不過⋯
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Que sera , sera(要發生的，終究發生)」
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翠綠色，不自然的生命力
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