[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSxi5UxHWG
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDsxETZ0YY
Rating: K+411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTU595fqX1
Word Count: 2.817411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWs6ou9lkBF
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EHR9xgnFk
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljkzbBIkvh
périodicité (periodicity)411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBzEX5894S
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQdMsUM0iP
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtMjOOShjk
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfCh4P5zC6
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9ADRVzb7b
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmm5Udwdox3
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22WQKiLXdd
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPfbq9pSCY
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGJTffcYBI
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq7jNjwSCM
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY188pNDlZ
“…What do you mean, mama?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Jf5qQ8EI6
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQYHkgen7B
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqizhDo4IjG
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LjB84hY1F
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX90ENo6Bq
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzqOXjgqF0
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaDCEioomh
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLS0hvZKV4
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKziIJldFcz
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2v4zBxRSk
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PqCZc5MV5
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDDsgqdv2A
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjdAEVBRzQ
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOsz6sp8sA
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS28eMKGIJE
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpjbmWSdh7
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79yJ7DkLaw
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFLC7nGoom
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrxqsvewf0
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLHNVQ3kg5
“Their… fate?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rcQcGWIfO
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiguxPvJGKo
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPh83Xm1rJj
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5wkBpRTgK
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S52IpN1xF
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPb78Vr2YWU
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CzrRoD5MJ
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmUdSk9XYw
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDo6soyOKT
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3wKwCv5Ab
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAEMIhEqrV
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4YeOncu2r
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB6Ph6G2qD
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1jPOT4KVP
“What isn’t, dear?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGHOYhUhDd
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeb46KQPqF
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDATs1VajZV
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWdFk3frgy
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y1yHaurwa
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Now, there was no one left.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW45uWN2mkJ
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeR4ftfXjT
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I need you411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIILCLZG7b
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA4l0L9Ep1
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeo7fT1PGBK
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9zA1bvHZQ
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G3PhX3YGt
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKt2EfS8Q4
“… You promise?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnMSnOqy9E
Her gaze softens.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl68UCcuSjC
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kXHiYEgYy
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jY9nC6FuE
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxze6sVr3C
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUwKqLKAkV
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxixDCqz1Ff
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP0gVlclqE
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgouLEekPem
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B1AG49ic7
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFNVejWEkG
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The home it belonged to.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCgizerRN6
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGirj5o9JhH
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBOpm9PxL5
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjBTwpuDvk
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKudJFK8I4
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumrs2ICc89
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“Yeah.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjHCqjHLI7
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpK0xb4G7H
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ppRTObYpx
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDAymo3nuB
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCuyZeUCYm
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntNIb0tHrW
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVrfJIrSj4
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An Uzumaki woman.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgr59TdK22
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“… Thank you, Karin.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQDQEUzIy0
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIT46eySKn6
“Who will be here soon, mama?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDSKlnfxra
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOvrqDoujG
“And what is that?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLyuPDBTZo
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLgkMMNCPu
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWsHYu7ISz
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oYCfAypWk
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“W—what was that about?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLc5qtP5LVl
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa7IJAlxpm
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbJYCGNN0i
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiCo4xT6UE
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“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrnSCSyeId
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Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcck19Z5aif
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcHBWnLbNs
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjXD2Y8Ii6
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To live this happiness.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYUD7GmFJo
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxwElPUr5R
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDKrQOuJKo
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She knew them, once.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8KBtyHai5
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmNGTG6ye3
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT0CxoAESr
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To survive.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxaJfEhzn5
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXWa4Bujnj
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEZgueqXQd
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSYhbxUyvf
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nYxf67bwW
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For the unsaid.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5DaCzTZSy
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRm212nVZNu
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfE7KpCv4rZ
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSH6DDXOkDX
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyV9AGaXYek
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxe8c1K6Vz0
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Her mother was always right.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwijKTGM5z
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end.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLgTR58zvo
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEBpJdOrC9
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPExq1nC0D0
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEmjzNhRXx
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzED4jCkAgm
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns18.223.132.16da2
