[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMpg5kNgCA
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWC8mJODqc
Rating: K+387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHS3Q6mkidZ
Word Count: 2.817387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQp6XTCHwMs
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTleN9x9iq
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXaCMyYhZY
périodicité (periodicity)387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq44d8SLY4X
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcllv0fzpHL
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uBSktXH20
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAb3RVpDSr
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nN9CzH5Vy
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHDvHA3WM0
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8slP6DFEq
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgswE0Ou9Ia
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeTYB7iuL8
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dg4DNIL35
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomrR67o5MH
“…What do you mean, mama?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tfhMlxdEU
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnOSVJvBCU
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorgJhV1iQ9
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTHd6OXCko
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSuMWZt46p
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iNifRMFHY
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lUDTIs7M0
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tqhy2s6VP
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGzzwg0REB
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpkRvkVM9V
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwW4qVlfTy
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFvfcCssAX
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkAjzVwvq2
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLSH1faz39
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhA2BVjUqLD
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO6So1Ue8Q
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8RWqo5HSP
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpvQDd9qaU
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5V5q8zZ9v2
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNsLW6aiSN
“Their… fate?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXvzfMq47d
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE8MORQxDZ
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMVRjgSEtX
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYiJ9mqCrm
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEs45kePVz
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKFVfOrCuk
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp1C3u044E
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z8217yVxq
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz4a3jfr23
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvvNxWI0kT
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wQa3D4NCX
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxONoomXbK2
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpSVLx3gye
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDLEj2vm2C
“What isn’t, dear?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL315VDez6
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xBisjT7tb
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZa15w8sJz
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmz09gC2db
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMqJNenwDQ
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Now, there was no one left.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJl5j16ofW
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdyQcGge04
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I need you387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe82f7Mmc3
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0lKRY2Qrq
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZO0AuuDJSX
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5zYxwoygI
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0OV7NcpJX
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0kbNzu9u9
“… You promise?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdetNiZcSx
Her gaze softens.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIPzutr4pA
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFe1Cz4DmYG
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj39uEzS5m
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnv6dYZAJo
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6JLCeOSuR
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8cR9Pn49r
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2QuC8jzSq
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACDalRSvrK
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJflJspJYdD
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoLb1kZubd
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The home it belonged to.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBo83gt4CN
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHviKnh0bwD
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1kK1BQ2jm
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGQdr8NqVL
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5BZ7kanOb
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfiPXkl2en
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“Yeah.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQELv7Yo1BR
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0vwh41YM8
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYzrXVFFMl
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MOk5Gfgjy
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJIRBGWSOi
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgiAcKMSRH
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3WgnmtT0X
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An Uzumaki woman.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchWYfwuGjp
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“… Thank you, Karin.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgriLyqOLy
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Adcxub6Iu
“Who will be here soon, mama?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXSittcN2b
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLToLVkY4bn
“And what is that?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm8pXhd75J
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzEOkDuMy3
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wPuJF62Ss
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwCY1QcQb8
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“W—what was that about?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdQ5MGndxs
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyu4WPk0Sl
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViFDJ43120
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUaZ94UmYf
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“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPOxAdgSUS
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Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzF3RhcGFl
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvu2ih4d92
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMG6SF8H2L
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To live this happiness.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezctyAbXm9
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQVtpgYoLo
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m4tKoiM8I
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She knew them, once.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡribLtkPqBD
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOQWSUF12x
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpu0ZVvumD
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To survive.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6irYgheUE
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4aZfrxuAe
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPdB50aPZT
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QGvU5RhyI
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkaqWmryeR
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For the unsaid.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rc9SJc9u9
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRHKUBfS04
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YIRggwq5c
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVYFHNgUdT
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxp31GT2zb
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh16IZEDg2s
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Her mother was always right.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjkiQv89V8
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end.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ3h2R1xBg
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdSxGHWw5w
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTB4YbVp9Y
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLkcR1pDo8
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥387Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuYT4fX94U
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns 15.158.61.19da2
