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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2saa34t7fB
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZJEydNLMt
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還沒有學會「接受」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiNVOtNP0x
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接受現實378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9RciSq0Tu
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因為認為是屈服378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNAFLILNDR
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感覺好像自己在投降378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68zeAn7D2i
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放棄一切378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImitTruYC0
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1uBwbLMed
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIdAlSaXJu
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認為是這樣子的狂妄378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN80F56Ycz
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無他378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4JLi6Mx88
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說是愚痴也不過份378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7zWfsf6rm
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只是她不相信378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEyPrrY9Q9
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懷疑378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgChzkxXO3Q
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她⋯⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWy9BlrJbi
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「⋯⋯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmVZKZ6NsN
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWoc6JTnLs
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單單是想像也有夠不安378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDW5rPFrLN
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQmPRynnEI
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaobvWnlUk
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唯一句378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOuE9XXQrX
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當局者迷，旁觀者清378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIiAMke978
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQKyqbl2WU
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYHUqK56XS
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGVC18Fl2h
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且不死，無法殺死378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARdW8L0RvW
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人家已經很盡力了378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwpJfI6MtN
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKdcCNZwRT
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憤怒378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOdsbHeVCv
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D9EoGi3BI
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因為我沒有用378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aRW2cApGV
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqATOzd6DZS
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjknl9QpAm
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBYrjvJTOL
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLCDGBKRE9
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGSzIoFoAp
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu4RygQTCe
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI4kJxAem5
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxl2Gawerd
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0AupIGadF
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzKLJXXmDz
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWw9lFiylMl
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTX1TiGysn
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已經失眠了多久？378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNtywf0kHw
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUnGpsDwe9
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEbFpc9gDD
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiHX6vsnzl
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ygJF6a1hL
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqWoxRfcUO
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3v3dMmjIUn
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGHkoe7Lk4
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nKehFcJp7
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSclY6PUo3
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzKEZvWMJi
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGbRq0u0Ht
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——呀？
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嗯？378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkJzvoCHH0
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMwhBbzBNz
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtiOsMv1jg
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSO64dT6xu
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6Q363H4aV
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5NpGfPx66
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLDtMf72VQ
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTpcopqtSw
我也想活下去
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTTtNEFW5R
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNPNoSopGH
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z2pxOPE3G
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGNjG0pseB
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzAPcMPTON
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0M4popqxCY
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlsezQKtRJ
或是說，我不希望⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzj8Mp6Ph81
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccfH7mLpHr
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiXeIE5cvs
⋯⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud0Ayk4XGC
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yO0dAQUJj
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIfs2DMdFU
對不起378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDuccyvjow
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD3n4foCe3
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo5gxtHXmJ
我也希望自己⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lrdDHH1jz
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbIcIYi6ad
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2AqB6VEzc
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6TCmq7I9R
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52Se0mRp7f
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27ilc0GPkL
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKYHHNO6f6
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ExohBrMBR
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeW3ZOCJeh
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOatFy4osa
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkKXKVrSlM
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoo0wGKWxR
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tM9GfIbcY
「⋯⋯嗯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4oIcS8VpC
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7YVDKUavD
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdfMcmyK85
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N7QcpBxGj
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9gbuuYCer
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6hqRzL5NY
「⋯⋯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAFrGDhNXQ
「真的」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LLXeKgUJd
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOPkp36Tdm
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqV4riaP6q
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PduHTE08P
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngkoMWicOu
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8f5V7sBa4M
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxRGMdvyqK
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpsFmSg0cc
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfrgc3DlYw
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKQ86M3TOU
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cyybSrGBj
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHbqJZ12G4
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcepId7HoS
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3SwjxmXAK
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1GmHUnvvW
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ379TMVeZJJ
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqS6urGGRvs
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPqFSJByif
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9IYsPBqZq
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIcIJi4RNQ
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3cVRjFkp1
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsVDA68gE2
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAthODqFCWT
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqZi6opfZH
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPPXCTVgFK
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxfhKPFVNO
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAVQbc218W
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPTsW3NBPq
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiemARSj040
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnIZTmVB72
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzDuz49a69
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJC1ZAQpro
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3hXpBl6Fg
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXhDnaV8E7
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiljkvIlm2g
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLJKV69Tqe
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJzVWepMcM
最後一記，最強烈
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn96Elx3mck
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMCSL6prcY
「⋯哈啊⋯」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNagbBcfkTZ
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPXbEFXLom
鬆口，直至其手到胸口378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcmdHHQ7KC
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoTGUIJu5t
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uU7wZFtTw
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROIbQCDZvc
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdgVtPP7zw
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuONOlhMpOp
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdRKu1naUW
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4Z1j9pcIU
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcc53MpGoV
「⋯啊？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AQpaOXQgT
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbY06n73ws
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVC4AZgq9I
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtwTETIvQt
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzClk6GwWdq
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4I5gAJZpyq
「等、等等」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyfeIFwwAs
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08lxL0X1YF
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDJLhV2vDN
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlpjuw1wAg
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVuC66K0Xm
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacOZUXFwgt
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCO3Se47qmt
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WVesQ3qqb
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVK6R2uBNs
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxfeqOqKOK
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcHXyDA4e1
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypjZiSZTSi
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCyjipiq0R
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7Q3SRX9ww
好痛
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAfCe8hiNc
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwNzaylNon
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5FlqpYA7z
但會有人在意嗎？
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU93w3lhcP
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshSYXyOBp3
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu60bJ39QGy
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbglkcdyMy
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtDgWsxqCb
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFx8LwYhJR
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7IEBLzvEO
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSe768CZlqj
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpM2HdfknK
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7JiU9Gcqs
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpcaut7JLg
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡql1TTvVbQP
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8W8QDSf5w
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKAlXzqhXs
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfxGJpV2K0
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFDYPaAfiX
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRu8L37PZl
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfGiqv3Dur
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TsXcgcun0
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aSauPgE5T
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgz4DzFkG7h
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdE9nJ05UW
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWZSTKcAsn
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZcy8DFt8A
比較下，條件不由自己定
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDSMhsAtu2
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4wnfZihJz
我沒有選擇權378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ7ZDMJ08I
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWDP1yG4SM
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7k55B4M2y
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7gwMyZXSw
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YHCpwjSm0
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6BWm78RQk
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJqwLw3dIX
明白嗎？378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDhfXm3scp
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuH61RZFKM
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LECrBJ3Lx
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyuweYih24
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjm88wqP4e
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoo1YhVkCWc
若世界更溫柔的話——
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQVyJLPtkI
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcfwmlNFoT
不可能378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLBldj9o8m
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtpsdT9kDt
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWeftSA43g
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0gfyUTiUO
什麼也沒有378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4oYBxOxFA
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8XH72mtyC
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5yfUO38LY
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8JIt7qznb
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2b3zH1aLe
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwt1wWJ6kzj
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0E1l4Kfyw
當然378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JCkFudLfC
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVaQSz4oDn
絕對
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyYTMett4e
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2Xi228S77
不想378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmB5veGSyx
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG61iDOAS4
但始終，真的太辛苦了378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuwV8vS2m7
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLoaNDm3nO
⋯⋯378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOqeZOGu5o
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkR7y7b3i3
思考真的太辛苦了378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCb0DkBTrx
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYxrEgANwY
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKk0ykOdU3F
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJsJgUpaNh
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfefW8DCY8i
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzyTddiUF0
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRGLRpvLBV
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk25vARwtlM
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdjqnkcprF
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AzNdEackt
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8tnL7W1kx
「⋯⋯對不起」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmvNmnOVqn
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YKtxCD6Cb
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K9LDzMYwo
「嗯⋯」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGXe5DXWRf
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqD0nY1QMvj
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb43fT0IKd
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLEV0o8NqH
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOoJ980n2W
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5SMF3kbTt
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhA7gLkoe7
「忠誠致赤雨之日」378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4qsbzNQkC
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvEfTCJtjj
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVH5EUQjln
女孩說道
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuGlPcHaip
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ531qfmhKAz
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUreqVGdJ8
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ044K2io2v9
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOVzb2h5BQ
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqAixdaWW8
是女孩的指示378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGSiC1wVpG
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KQQNDh7y5
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE55Ud7jHjo
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJj6WmiK02D
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ741ldDwuhH
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzw3Y9wFAWt
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3on84HbDdI
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmRmVwZaTf
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnJDk6qjeH
直至最後能看見的——378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczCUknrVis
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ6xlt3FJb
也不存在
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS34OITRUWP
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybF3sgZ6TO
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko1shxfxC0
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7a6NUfydC
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRKMz4iRfT
但無法辨認378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxcdPeiJMP
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAqClV9G4p
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYIY3idBlD
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4G9BtxYHu
黑暗將自己包圍378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCZiRblCfl
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW36DUPmK8S
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCpf3qdGSg
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MwXNL37cE
不知多久了378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIkPIOcJYe
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWuA9UVHM4
在那時開始378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSf7k6Bwxu
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkllW49ftF
那裏378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7XjP96EQn
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyOnRwCD1D
但有些事情〇〇
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DGSmJyXdN
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLvnsOCvpc
〇〇〇378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcV4HtAbax
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFNlDb5bq6
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSiiUvT7NQ
〇〇〇〇〇〇378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQZqoOMMqb
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNvfpoAifQ
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXKdFKTZpB
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn91qyAIBH
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqXwEiKEfe
現在不是你的回合378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax0rKkq4gY
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDcFbz9r6o
378Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89NRbDU39F
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