致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty77Baw5Ho
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前提，是特殊情況之下248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFF24DmC8fc
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ3FIDf3PM
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大概248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zebROR6yT
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes2UpHuUJQ
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfZQ5woC8a
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「⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsxLCyjWxP
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4cb94NZMV
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGBGgUXmCI
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMMIlZYEjQ
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqm3HYeAAM
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不良日常性時候248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07NC29DpqK
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8n5vMSII70
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsoNkuzRD5
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3Sf4nGAGo
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UumXnzTDL
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpgbQLTAPd
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt5tuJX8E5
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDlGEzu00M
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXCVHiyKOv
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZqc4kl9pR
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8lMkW3QIA
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「呀！來了、來了！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliwXA0aZm3
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「走啊～」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs81PoFy6LW
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlp1CCoIAf
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEEROJr7Re
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他248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxxyVg6sJ3
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「又被欺負了嗎？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjTycy0R0F
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iHyRhjxw4
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtLN06gJci
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuKuABUW7z
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9LcjtsYFr
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCNAdtHXcg
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⋯⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWTYNrtmUH
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怎也好呢248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYUokFyyGd
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「⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03r8t2W7Ue
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJiamucpe1
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH2JcXa6Cc
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—— 咔 ——248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9skmbtJEc
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⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ84QCoINhM
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⋯⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGuNKqUzdo
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgUiGEto9Y
「嗚⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWM6hSirzjE
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTMStYSr60
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IDzWNCP3C
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpROxP39X5
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「啊？！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRmBmgesJ0
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—— 啪噹 ——248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyElqvlZmy
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVIhtMiB0t
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa8zoYIvh9
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她一樣248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64BcxgVeOD
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iL7A8drYY
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXfLIwIGMn
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「對不起！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZshNwm7FJ
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXrKqcnOyS
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「來」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaTKcDTgrz
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「⋯謝謝」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7F2axeKbZ
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvBse6TzyL
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMywBBRl1s
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdp1VWSFK1
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78V3kNsZV0
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「那個，水無月？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BxvEfvEjd
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「怎麼了？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbH0dGihclX
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorsg5EKrKY
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各種248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTacgyWuiar
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WtYtORM61
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnj2CmbAHF
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且只能回味248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEiYZ41enb
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「回來了嗎，島見？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSm8IzHuLX3
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV9bSzTII3
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9J2GTjqcC
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzfudTZAIu
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「媽媽⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRQ4u5MbkU
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「⋯⋯是的？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7Wv89VtXY
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ol2moNc4F
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i5lWNrBLV
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKQENQsar8
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs4g1IDpWW
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呢248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcSaZSkhEx
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGztgrcpML
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc94Tm4ZZVt
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySNZTBSrkB
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「欸？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRN8bJq3As
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AZI7kWNLD
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「這樣嗎⋯？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4zD5g19d0
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcpw5mC7F4
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「生日快樂！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak4eA9qCxz
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QEQoRCkWe
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太過成功才使人後悔啊248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqo7IpR77E
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhHGHQLpHj
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「⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6ey1jvbnR
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikHa0AXFNq
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—— 噗 ——248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4MHKNifDf
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「喜歡」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pgb7yqGMH
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1FGy2kL6D
「賀羽？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjpe5T9yZL
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegBXae1SZo
「太好了⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiX0drELE3
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoaHsJK9cb
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如果⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JqtkVxqy5
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXVSomEfo6
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來得太突然了，去得太突然248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvk64EOrjfM
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「什麼？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFz6kRWyf3
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBkGtwCNgd
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN81PUgrGM
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hljhdwaLR
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPacEcMYUFw
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「⋯對不起⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j05pDATl0
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對不起有什麼用？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz605ACvZKT
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道歉又有什麼用？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjJvLwttk0
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卻248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvALWyKpyb
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡut0bELEXwJ
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要説再見了嗎？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxJw74zWmn
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我不想248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRBaC41J0o
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNa6dnJdmC
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciUNhfmA9R
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我不想那樣子248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLQBpr4Amv
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp50Buuyk0g
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzAcvXTwVU
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不在這般的前半生之後248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tc1eq4tyA
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⋯⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt9bixTEQG
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無論如何，日子倒是來了248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGq21xQHvx
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最後的笑容，就在當刻248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LcCjjSmLQ
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVArgSQJdOO
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55CLJGSLrw我不接受248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92OhVuXLkb
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOPZQbDSd4我不接受248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB1MOx3LzC
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo76dToUOhK
—— 啾 ——248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Z1xbLXzjm
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我不接受248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jRe8ZMwxi
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6I09l4WPX
「賀羽⋯？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD4im9TAls
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—— 啾 ——248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnElUTBGwix
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyWW9f5b6D
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsIY715jHX
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我不接受這樣的結果248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXt31LPGhta
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzhmjfyC1s
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjAUNBMayO
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKatGIbzJ7R
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我的本性248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NO37kdNWf
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIIJzrotnk
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—— 啪 ——248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cwiog3Gg1
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「給我閉嘴」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxbvgRM0rh
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQqjgApB4T
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我終究只是野獸而已呢248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuIqu9WZu4
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbFYJn54P2
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66UUnDRfN9
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而作為人形野獸真的該死248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyl9SZZsbl
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如此痛苦也是活該248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNg9WjJ8EH
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忘記不能也是248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdzjNLkZRU
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXc60phjOk
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD0cMzMyas
「張開口！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyunzuB5sN
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTdOJJVt8v
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發現了嗎？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNem5AXE75s
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKr6SAclUd
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE0zN6OxG2
這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5yfcRQ7FX
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyj8zA8PLQ
我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQIxZqbiBk
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「為什麼⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WDk6zgAWc
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我所嚮往的248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusyB3Kg7xn
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所謂的248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB7UUcAba5
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248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVchwroTRb
「正常」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIWDGBpq83
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純粹是個謊言248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6zaEP6QuB
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UsO9cKqjH
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bGnEq7dtJ
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⋯⋯248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHu5D95Xpbv
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所以說，我是異類嗎？248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHO9DI7LuPE
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「⋯⋯再見了」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFHEE9aZ1k
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當然248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHIBKxp16W
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Wyh26wBnQ
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「切」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezLgnbjMgi
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo9IgCl31Y
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfikoc5QlI
氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8PQQ3ZtjT
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「嘿⋯」248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaWhs9zwVg
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自討而已248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1AGzET1DX
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡochhaNCQk1
248Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgdGAAFosH
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns 15.158.61.6da2
