致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN5fwYdQsn
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前提，是特殊情況之下265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQZqJ2mldM
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwB0VLnEUf
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大概265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCaYADARz3
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuBZh325m2
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa5706oZ6d
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「⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmi9oHAlo9
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdyEMMRcge
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNtUUiAl58
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXm1kVyGPoE
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tpGeu4P5V
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不良日常性時候265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rtqpNepcd
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1exh77vFp
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqKFGcHy8f
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVA4j3Es8F
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYWCbntoqK
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCge7ktrEB
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeRqtUJVqt
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9dBmC30Qf
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aj28Oh0zc
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7dcvSZo8r
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI67IKG151p
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「呀！來了、來了！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkpQAtniFT
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「走啊～」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWMc7ri77A
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8kFpdIDrU
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTQ5jDjM2g
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他265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKv7oFNUQ1
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「又被欺負了嗎？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1cL5ESD88
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfccq8bHQxK
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5CGc6Vu9V
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6RNk9sZ4G
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzwUyn1mMk
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPxtiqmzBx
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⋯⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyU20lDj2oz
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怎也好呢265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCB4IwLC1f
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「⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMd3bJ8xYz
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItkTyod37h
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQwHpsJujO
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—— 咔 ——265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSWNE4D6P5
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⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPmUh3tCxw
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⋯⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLOMnqBYpJ
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTKK14oGHn
「嗚⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdVFWMYxiE
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGT7twngkzm
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcJfgn6Bfg
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQVYz33iuW
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「啊？！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0GJuwVlNG
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—— 啪噹 ——265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XSedtTSpO
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8iU6KMYYt
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmUIali5xN
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她一樣265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6FcI4PD2V
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmppEVOHeqU
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhzxunCmlZ
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「對不起！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9u66NDwGy
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaJOYEtwPN
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「來」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqn5Z0NKjxS
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「⋯謝謝」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxZNYIoJvz
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡequesLrr9Q
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aBabajf8U
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHUD80aHMZ
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRYMVuQ05S
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「那個，水無月？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyh54QKxbeB
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「怎麼了？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35oJUsIVEA
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50ZeQ6Jml3
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各種265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7kJnsRXts
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDntOalyPwb
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiF5vpahPU
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且只能回味265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLzBMm3l0w
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「回來了嗎，島見？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hLx8zKIuD
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu6269a9Ml
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ0QVJIbRN
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBxzdtxiFt
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「媽媽⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJRuPzSnS0
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「⋯⋯是的？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYKtzaAugo
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRInSBRxiH
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3KKHd0UiX
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5MGCX2Mrg
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGPUSzrDBG
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呢265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73zZ9BS1o0
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxNsjCORrH
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiOTeetRQc
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAHgkkT6WO
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「欸？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugb7FBi3Ix
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStzYnhRAIo
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「這樣嗎⋯？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UmXkOr1Zp
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsksMpmTr3x
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「生日快樂！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFVZEYWPxC
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcsT0XKKzx
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太過成功才使人後悔啊265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTAwKGiJIS
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQvDijycTS
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「⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpqXqDv8SI
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOReFvBulh0
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—— 噗 ——265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnSiTnjVGH
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「喜歡」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWCx7MIIkD
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「賀羽？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DGveMz0yP
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNhmTZsIyc
「太好了⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepJWhdBYpk
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Eafadtyuq
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如果⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbqnUKfmqR
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEb7tEaNE3
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來得太突然了，去得太突然265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhmZHQGjJW
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「什麼？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMWAKjp8EF
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicPhLEXTaC
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZ00PEQkK1
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFJgt4WjVS
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdLLy6uH4m
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「⋯對不起⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvksaICxHMy
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對不起有什麼用？265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJIEmxWA2V
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道歉又有什麼用？265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCobe2HMsuE
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卻265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡromWLiDXtc
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MUpS09Ksf
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要説再見了嗎？265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZhNgK8bSM
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我不想265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa6LtJM2lL
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrQ5ru9Hrm
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSEVL0rEO5
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我不想那樣子265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eQ0GOtqH7
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlUPQ8twmi
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHXVIhRCYk
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不在這般的前半生之後265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0FwSDoYFZ
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⋯⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQSGFBRADr
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無論如何，日子倒是來了265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsIca3Nq9h
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最後的笑容，就在當刻265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenwazAVmJ6
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrysGnFx1W5
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMZpxkfyYG我不接受265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGlJES0Lpt
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPeW1OziOE我不接受265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0IrwH25PF
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—— 啾 ——265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQT5JZC2mR
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我不接受265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGgDxVGeXF
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「賀羽⋯？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9m5petebG1
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—— 啾 ——265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKeCFHEZtP
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvKYNCcAhm
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLogJLWNz4f
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我不接受這樣的結果265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFll6xn1Smc
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvzkgCW8W5
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsiC2ppkHa
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieatGOjiXS
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我的本性265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDL9rT0glB
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig2dTGULBM
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—— 啪 ——265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGBKszgYZp
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「給我閉嘴」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZoil9yY8m
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnYUaD32mH
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我終究只是野獸而已呢265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTtmoYi6Sn
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfd3R2kXPXl
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDPATDd7Sm
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而作為人形野獸真的該死265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKMI65StF6
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如此痛苦也是活該265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVe7phepLcK
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忘記不能也是265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHLcYw52jA
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI9rzDe0gn
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwsN1ArEvU
「張開口！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudueHWwHi4
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpnlk9Boec
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發現了嗎？265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i4X0SJAfM
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7Px3zPqtn
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dvHjdD2RW
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcX4p82NlMq
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「為什麼⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIkxckdGQO
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我所嚮往的265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFJYkEcQpG
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所謂的265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAYsAQGrLD
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「正常」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzmByG6ttm
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純粹是個謊言265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwXWqLxQ9J
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtbHWTMCYU
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQveRStI83j
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⋯⋯265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8sjpjPA5a
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所以說，我是異類嗎？265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81z2O95mcv
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「⋯⋯再見了」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZevv7TisQm
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當然265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Jgq4Y8HFh
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHKKJQxSvG
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIJLQECGDL
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpfjOP6Qzf
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「嘿⋯」265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlr99iVPvZd
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自討而已265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxqN83HS1L
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns 15.158.61.19da2
