I already work in this old and unique dine as a waitress for five years. Until graduated university last year, i would love to work here even just in the weekend, if the owner let me to do so. But, i still work here until today, when i suppose to find a job that match my academy degree.
Don't know what's wrong with me, i have this particular habit. I just realized this habit not until almost one and half year working here. It's a sunny day that i decided to find part-time work to pay my rent near my uni. I didn't searched that hard, it was just base on the feeling and the look of the dine that i passed the other days. First time, it looked vintage-like, but i didn't expect it to be an old place, run by not by elderly couple, but an alumny, from his money that he got from work during work after graduated uni long time ago. He married to the foreigner, a japanese woman who also he said that the who concepted this whole dine. But, again i did't expect it that japanese person have this specific knowledge to make this old-netherlandish-vibe kind of place.
It's not hard for me to get the job here, because before entered uni, i already have an experience worked at the small caffee near my high school. It's fortunate that my high school allowed their student to get their work experience, not just study and seeking good score.
Back again, i am a weird person. Even for a woman at my age today, i didn't have a boyfriend yet, not that i don't interested in them. I just find that being in relationship is kinda embarrassing for me to imagine. Being in someone's care and slowly knowing each other is something that make me giddy sometimes. I find it not that creepy, but i don't know how to call it. Or maybe, deep down i'm not ready to have this "shared-things" with my opposite sex just yet and i'm okay to be alone.
I'm just find myself weird thinking about it. Since high school, a lot of boys chase for me and i don't know why. they said to me, that i'm pretty, the other said that i'm their type and so on. I don't find myself very interesting as a female or as an individual. Even until today, i still live with both of my parent. When i'm alone in my room, i like to hole myself in the bed as the slow music play in the background. Sometimes spent my time reading book that i don't remember the author that i just found interesting in public library. On the weekend, i like to spent my time in the place like record store or just hanging around mostly by myself in the public library.
Of course, i have some friends, but most of them is very busy with their own life. There is Steph who too fallen in love with her boyfriend since the fourth semester, also Roy that nature geek who like to do camping every time he see the opportunity, and there is Thias, a tomboy woman that like to hanging out to the fashionable place that recommended by a certain magazine.
Don't get me wrong, we all 4 are best friend in the uni. Most of my high school bff is already out of the town, started working and living by themself. We sometime spent time together when most of them have a time. I'm myself is not kind of person that initiate a gathering between friend, and prefer just getting along with the invitation that they brought to me.
Today, i find myself wondering as my eyes stare into the unknown, what's wrong with me again?, as this question pops up in my head, the dine door was opened as the bell rang signaling a customers entered. For a second there, i got my mind back and seeing whose coming.
"Ah, welcome"
When i see those face, i have to make a smile as always that my jobs asked me to. As a waitress, you suppose to have this "smiling-and-ready-to-face-stranger" kind of expression. Then, when your shift around the desk, you have to get ready the menus and the manner when you would ask the customer their order. Sometimes, i work behind the cashier, but most of time my shift is around the dine table, ready with the menu book.
Today, those same face is smiling back at me. What a warm faces that this couple have. Its the same couple who always sitting in the corner of the dine. Both of them are married couple that few years older than me. Here i'm still single, and i don't even understand why i'm not a slightest envy of them. If i find myself envy to them than it's okay but deep down, my feeling can't find a reason to envious at all.
Again, they sit in the same spot in front of the nice view, facing mundane cityscape where people crossing the street and go their life in various way. Nice weather to have this afternoon, isn't it?
Today again, they ordered the same food that each of them love so much. The wife like to eat a sweet and fluffy looking stuff, and the husband is ordering the plain-looking food but sometimes he switches menu, like at one evening he chose to eat ice cream, even more sweet than what he usually ordered.
"What a weird couple", i thought once, before knowing that this couple would be my muse while working here. Since i worked here 5 years ago, even until today, i still witnessing this couple, while everything outside world change for everyone, it as if for me alone, they are the one whose unchanging.
Forgot since when that i, just like to standing in this rather busy dine place. While waiting for the customers to enter the dine, i have this kinda stalkish-weird habit, and for the record, i'm not stalker. It's just that for me, looking people from afar is kinda refreshing. Not knowing their true color, true motivation and you just stand there whether you wait for them or just stand idly, i found it worth my time. Don't even realize this not until one year and half since the day one i entered this dine and ask if this place still recruiting new worker.
But, this habit then turned since i started to have a rather interest in this couple one day. They already a regular customer here, and in the beginning i don't even paying attention to them. Not until later, in the one day after i have my first exam at uni.
Of course, i still have to work after exam. That day, i took night shift. Regularly, this couple would always to come at the dine in the afternoon or evening based on my memory. But, not that day.
They came late at night. With the same warm smile. They entered the dine, while at that time i was behind cashier. It easier for me to just watch things from afar. Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd sit in their usual place.
As always, they ordered the same menu. From what i saw, they then talk casually like what they usually do when they came together. The owner said that both of them like this place so much and they fallen love in this dine. What a romantic thing, i uttered to the owner that time.
But that night, as they kept talking, i don't know when its begin, the brawl started between them. Cashier is far enough and that night the dine was quite busy, covered by noise. Don't know what the reason of their brawl, as they started to get emotional and Mrs. Lloyd even slap her husband's face rather hard. Everyone got up from their seat and few tried to stop the brawl. I don't even remember what i did that time as the cashier started to became full of customer, trying to changed place.
What a mess, said one of my coworker. I want to know what was happened that night that i asked the other coworker, and they said that both of them started the brawl because something that even for me, it was kinda sad.
It's not that one of them cheating from the other, but that was something else outside their relationship. It was their parent. That time i learned that their married, said one of the coworker that work that night as table shift eavesdropped them, their family was not accepting their illegal marrying.
What?, i wondering to myself. So this couple wasn't married legally?
Everyone that knowing this fact at the time seems like weirdly worried. But, weirdly enough, i don't find myself worried for them. Not that i don't care either way. It's just that, there was no any ill feel too. Toward them, i just find myself stay between reality and fiction. Sometimes, i wished that i was in someone's else position so that i could feel what they face at the time. But, it was never the same with this couple. The feeling is so strong that i could cry when i too deep in my own feeling.
Don't know why either. Either they have a brawl, then one day they came again with a smile so wide that i forgot that this same couple also came at the other time drenched by mud in the rainy season.
So much emotion. So much to imagine.
That's why, this couple is everything that make my day worth it. It as if, they are really piece of my own desired life that i never own from the start. Seeing other people's everyday life from just a certain point of view is enough for me. In this corner of small town somewhere, i'm standing and seeing both of them having their life and struggle that sometime i can't relate into. Bring me so much peace.
Even their romance is so normal that i wished that other people to have a same perspective of how relationship was build. Somewhere, i prayed that their illegal relationship is not bring them into the some conflicted, waste of time kind of drama in them.
As they keep coming here for time to time, i would like to keep my distance for their sake and for my own everyday peace. Then again, as my thought keep bring me into the oblivion often, they will facing the other side of the dine, smiling or having an argument. Seeing this dine, with them like that as usual.
Just really, what's wrong with me again?, i wonder. Maybe i have some kind of illness that i'm not aware of, as i smile toward the corner of the dine, hiding my awkward feeling to myself.
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