today's been the worst freakin day of my life.588Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nyq8NFDcZ
ill tell you all about it, about what happened recently, and why I haven't been writing for such a long time.
it was all because of her.before her, i was lost. so lost.
i was visiting the pubs daily, drinking, smoking, taking drugs; essentially shortening my lifespan. because i had nothing to live for.
and then she spoke to me. in a way that no woman has ever spoken to me before. i was in a pub - the one down the road - drinking. she was there as a new waitress. she was delivering my whisky; and she caught my eye. she leant down and whispered something into my ear.
and i think i fell in love.
i asked her for her number. and then something ignited inside me - the will to live.
over the last few months ive been working hard. ive been trying to give up cigarettes, and alcohol. ive been so busy, ive forgotten to write to write to you.
then I called her. today. and i asked her out. you know, on a date date. and she said yes.
but...
it was all because of me that she had that accident; that she got run over on the way to the restaurant.
And she didnt survive.
and now I dont know what to do. I have no purpose anymore; no destination in life.
she left a mark in my heart - a hole which cant be refilled. i don't want to go back to the drinking, the drugs, the cigarettes, but i don't know what more to do.
and i want to say goodbye to you before i leave.
you were the friend i never had. the one thing i had to turn to. but I just cant go on like this.
im sitting in the dark right now with a gun, and i have one bullet left in it.
one chance.588Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHYhf9Tx4H
thank you diary, for everything.
and goodbye.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
