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在用大圓盾充當好折凳,啪了白貞德一頓後,馬休芸並未回到現實世界,而是站在倒臥在走道的白衣修女旁,看戲,發呆。
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「她沒放魂嗎?嘖……這樣拖下去可不好。」那柄脫手的大鐮刀在摔落地面後滑了一段距離,魔法的力量自鐮刀刀刃滲出,依舊繼續作用。地板蒙上大片積雪,風勢漸強,彷彿會場裏的空調失控了,馬休芸推估這冰霜魔法的半徑約有數十公尺,是白貞德死後殘留的念,還是死亡之聲發動,她就不清楚了。她沒玩爐石。
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照理來說,白貞德血條清空,她應該要跟襄襄被大鐮刀挑上天空時那樣,靈魂釋放,本體返回現實世界。若她想再戰,只要從現實世界走回PVP劃定的區域,就會自動穿越。若她不想打了,等180秒異世界會自動關閉,到時候馬休芸也會被移出該空間,野外PVP就會結束。
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可現在的情況卻是馬休芸未脫離戰鬥,白貞德屍體仍在,卻呈現無敵狀態不能攻擊,馬休芸只能在此乾等,一分鐘過去,復活的楊襄襄也從現實世界穿越,重新回到戰局。
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「現在是怎樣?進P2嗎?她以為自己副本王哦?」襄襄邊問邊以左手運行波紋氣功,五指噴金光塗抹右手的寶劍劍身。這是藉真氣強化兵刃的技能,屬於強化系應用,另外,這招還可以跟鍊金術的劍油相疊加(她跟西域商人買的,波蘭製),雖然上劍油很麻煩,可既然現在有空,襄襄也就從衣領裏掏出一個小水晶瓶,又附魔又塗油,馬休芸順便幫她掛了一個耐久度強化BUFF,修理不用錢。
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襄襄所說的P2指的是冒險過程中,有些BOSS一條血不夠還會有兩條。在這個階段通常會多新技能,攻防也會變高。不過,穿越使者間的戰鬥也會進P2?這個襄襄倒是頭一次遇到,雖然她也沒有很常跟人家PVP啦!爹娘都要她考上好大學,從未關心過她踏足江湖恩怨的夢想。
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「應該是那個黑魔法師的契約。吉爾德雷˙萊斯,還有貞德,真是王道組合,哼哼。」馬休芸道。在世貿一館的主舞台,還存在另一個異世界,那就是吉爾德雷最初挑釁王小姐的地點。從逐漸擴大的冰霜魔法判斷,這兩個異世界最終會合併,形成一塊更大的PVP區域。
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「貞德大人!欸噢!貞德大人!上帝又再一次從我身邊帶走了妳,變性人、臭丫頭,我要你們血債血償!」風雪的另一端鬼影幢幢,兩女可看見高聳小丘正在蠕動,朝她們這兒爬來,相連的觸手魔爪摧毀了所到之處的擺設,那些木板、玻璃、保麗龍通通輾碎了,還有噁心的肉嘴巴將它們吞噬成肉泥。
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「噢,那死巫師罵妳變性人。」襄襄驚叫。見好友受辱,她急忙為她抱不平。
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「哇災,不用特別提醒我。」馬休芸臉有點臭,她知道襄襄好意安慰,但這反而搞得她不太爽。轉生粉毛美少女又不是她願意,不過,她不是蘭斯洛特、高文那種人氣高的圓桌騎士,所以女兒身還是Z>B,利大於弊,橘勢大好,大橘已定。襄襄芸芸,百合大法好。
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「現在該怎麼辦?繼續打嗎?婷姐跟仁雄學長,他們……會不會生氣R?」回到PVP現場,成了一坨觸手大肉球的吉爾德雷越爬越近,不到五十公尺了,躺地板的白貞德也彷彿隨時會爬起來再戰,襄襄著急發問。
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「我也不知道,現在只能見招拆招,走一步算一步了。」馬休芸舉起圓桌大盾,為她跟襄襄上防禦BUFF。她們主要介意的點還是現在其實是上班時間,野外PVP固然爽,可翹班時間太長,她們不好向公司交代。顯然白貞德不打算輕易讓事情結束。
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「貞德大人!貞德大人RRRRRR!」吉爾德雷叫囂著。幹掉王小姐的他戰意高漲,雖然他心裡納悶,他明明摧毀了那個不完美的貞德(指王小姐),怎麼還會有那麼多貞德!他抓狂時,只要是女的他都當成貞德,是不折不扣的貞德變態。
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「Err,還是,我跑去給他們殺。投降輸一半!!!」不想跟噁男吉爾打的襄襄歪頭說道。這又是觸手又是海葵的大肉球太噁心了,她想直接下線。
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「妳以為事情就這麼算了嗎?臭海鮮。」忽然一道光圈升起,沐浴在白光中的修女撐著飛回手中的大鐮刀,狼狽從地上起身;白貞德靠著和吉爾德雷的契約復活,只要不出手攻擊,她有無敵時間可以讓她講完台詞。
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「看!明明就是妳先動手。要不是妳的角色亂殺學長的NPC,我們也是很好相處的好不好。欸斗,海鮮是什麼意思?」襄襄知道自己應該是被罵了,可她從未聽說海產也可以拿來罵人,她便小聲問馬休芸。
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「就是英雄聯盟裡面講說那些只會玩輔助角的女生,講妳很菜的意思,明白嗎?海鮮。」馬休芸解釋道。
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「我只玩傳說對決不知道啦。哦,我都忘記妳是要畢業出社會那種,我們不玩那種過氣遊戲的,呵呵。我推甄就上成大內,啾咪,學姊妳應該還再考教師甄試吧,加油。」找到反擊點的楊襄襄酸道。大四VS高三,高下立判!襄襄,連對方學校一起戰。
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「不是剛剛才說要給對方殺,怎麼又嘴起人家來了……」馬休芸臉上三條線。
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「啊對內,抱歉抱歉。窩收回剛剛的話啦,北教大我娘有叫我填的,說當教師好,吃公家飯。」見白袍修女將大鐮刀反背在背後,揚起煙塵後消失,襄襄跟馬休芸眼神一穆,專心應戰。對方真的生氣了。
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「等等我牽制修女,妳打肉球。妳先繞圓圈觀察一下,不用急著出手。」馬休芸在說完後靴子踢起一根碎木片,木片在飛行一段距離後,在半空以奇異的角度彈開,下一刻,現出蹤跡的白貞德吃驚望著兩女,馬休芸立刻朝她奔去,不知所措的白貞德扛起鐮刀後跳,一直跳。兩女上演妳追我跑的戲碼。
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「吉爾快來幫忙!你這個廢物!」白貞德揮起鐮刀轉圈圈,同一時間,地板上一道焰浪姍姍來遲。襄襄見吉爾德雷從遠處放火,輕功一跳就閃開,起飛時,她朝剛放完火的吉爾德雷射出一枚冰魄銀針,以毒效果減緩目標速度。
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「貞德大人,靠近我!」吉爾德雷低聲嘶吼,就在此時,馬休芸朝白貞德扔飛盾,被擊暈的白貞德只能癱在原地,稍後,她恢復行動能力了,卻屢屢被盾牌牽制,招架得極為吃力。
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見白貞德始終處於下風,襄襄趁隙繞到吉爾德雷後背,她熟練地在大肉球後方左翻滾,右翻滾,很快就懂為何馬休芸要把戰場分成兩邊:白貞德手上那把SSR大鐮刀傷害其實非常高,且範圍長,她跟馬休芸一起上討不到便宜,眼前這個大肉球只能攻擊前方270度,她只要一直滾到正後方就不會被打到。
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「快!還要更快!」將數條觸手跟噁心嘴巴被斬下,來到大肉球後方開大決的襄襄寶劍一分為二,攻擊速度上升十倍!她中二喊起。
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「妳又在玩了,快點打死他……吼噢,到底是哪個門派派來的,楊大俠也沒像妳這樣。」馬休芸沒好氣催促襄襄。雙劍亂舞後,大肉球膨脹數倍噴發好大一片肉泥,雙劍再次合為而一,楊襄襄將藏在大肉球內的削瘦男子刨出,一劍貫穿黑魔法師的身體。
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「貞德、大人、啊……」吉爾斷氣了,著海葵巫師袍的他,四肢無力下垂,襄襄就像用筷子串死蟑螂再抖掉,一劍抽離噴汁的吉爾。噁爆了,噘嘴的她心想。
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「好了好了,就這樣吧──白小姐,我們先打到這裡好不好,妳殺死吾王的事我不跟妳計較,我們雙方各退一步,可以嗎?」見勝勢已定,收起大盾的馬休芸放棄追白貞德。她向後跳了一段距離,讓白貞德得以喘氣。
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「妳,妳……」驚魂未定的白貞德瞪著馬休芸和持劍從遠處走來的襄襄。她覺得自己被逼到心臟都快起邱,等她咳完,顫抖的她這才得以講話:
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「我不要,」她怒視著兩女。「我不要!!!」她大叫,憤怒令飄著風雪的會場迴盪著修女怒吼。
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「……不然妳想要怎麼樣?是妳先打人的。妳毀了別人重要東西,雖然,我想先輩會原諒妳,但是如果妳執意再打下去,這會影響到仁雄先輩的現實生活,這樣就不好了。」馬休芸不懂對方幹嘛歇斯底里,雖然她知道穿越使者很多憤世嫉俗的怪人,仍是試圖跟白貞德溝通看看。
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「為什麼,這會影響到老師的現實生活?」白貞德楞住。她也是一直納悶這幾個女的很怪,幹嘛要在現實世界穿這樣,超羞恥。
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「我們是他請的showgirl,妳殺死的NPC也是,所以妳已經給別人帶來困擾了。但沒關係,就這樣──好嗎?」馬休芸努力暗示她,她們已經很客氣了。若非還要工作,她絕對會用盾牌甩她耳光。
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下一刻,馬休芸見著白貞德臉越來越臭,這時的她還不知道,白貞德心中的小劇場異常彭湃:
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這幾個人感情怎麼這麼好?不但一起玩,還一起打工?大家明明就一樣是穿越使者,明明就一樣是邊緣人。可惡,好羨慕……
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為什麼我沒有!?可惡!太可惡了!!!
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「欸?」襄襄也不懂白貞德為什麼眼淚一直掉,嘴角死抿著發抖。
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「我才不要!!!我不要!!!我不要!!!」支撐沒幾秒鐘,她爆發了,朝兩女死命大叫。襄襄嚇了一大跳,馬休芸則伸出一隻手擋著,要襄襄不要插手接下來的事。接著,她朝白貞德走了過去。
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「那妳就去死吧。媽的,死破麻,給臉不要臉。妳這種臭鮑魚無論去哪個異世界都會討人厭的。說我沒雞雞是不是?如果我還有屌,我一定操死妳,操妳媽的。」被惹毛的馬休芸她冷冷道,被瞪到害怕的白貞德揮鐮,盾彈再一次震得她癱地,下一刻馬休芸抓盾牌朝她臉揮去,再扯住她的頭髮往地上砸,腳直踢她的臉。
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「等一下啦……芸芸.不是,要跟對方和解嗎?」襄襄張著嘴巴,看傻掉。她知道馬休芸發起脾氣來可是很恐怖的。她只是不喜歡和人爭執,才一直忍讓,先前她們在公車上遇到癡漢,馬休芸就把他的臉塞進投幣口,那癡漢下巴裂掉,就,像現在這樣!
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「叫先輩讓他的老婆們來補好了,showgirl又不是遇缺不補,大不了我離職就是。」馬休芸續道。她雙手掐住白貞德脖子,將她拎了起來,對方痛苦大叫。
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「最好是有這麼痛啦。」馬休芸一口唾沫吐在白貞德臉上。確實,PVP的痛楚傳遞十分有限,可鮮少被人暴力對待的白貞德仍是很害怕緊張,彷彿馬休芸真的會殺了她。
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「欸?」不停放接技,察覺怪異的馬休芸稍行留手,下一刻,她拎起盾牌以最快速度朝襄襄快步跑去,接踵而來的是數次爆炸,衝擊波驅走了原本籠罩在世貿一館的風雪,亂石齊降,扛大盾的馬休芸抱襄襄如龜殼般在地上滾動好多圈。仰賴圓桌大盾的保護和她飛快的反應,她倆這才在石雨下平安無事。
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這石雨的效果是,盧恩文字?待煙塵散去,舉盾重新站穩的馬休芸看見白貞德身邊多了一名著銀色軍裝的男子,垂著披風的他屈一膝對呆坐在地的白貞德下跪,手握緊她的手,溫柔將她攙起,英俊帥氣的模樣彷彿公主的守護騎士。
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「對不起,宏偉秘境的探索直到現在才結束。屬下來遲了。」軍裝男子對白貞德道。
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「你死去哪裡了啦!齊格飛,快幫我報仇。」哭著說完,白貞德緊緊擁住男子,一臉老婆被欺負跟老公討抱抱的姿態,兩女呆若木雞,這才想到被對方曬了一波恩愛。
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「嗯。」齊格飛寶劍出鞘,橫掃而出的劍氣立刻震得馬休芸盾牌差點掉落,他衝向兩女,寶劍左曲右迴,空出來的手繪製盧恩文字,近距離爆炸紮實命中兩女,兩女被風壓割出大量傷口,數招過去,他一劍刺中襄襄腹側,再一劍砍在馬休芸肩膀上。
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齊格飛&齊格魯格,五星SSR。華格納歌劇中《尼伯龍根的指環》的主角,同時也是北歐神話中的超級大英雄。兩女傻眼,原來白貞德是歐洲人!最後竟藏有如此好牌。
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堅持了好一會兒,不敵齊格飛的兩女在血條清空後回到現實世界。她倆現在坐在館內休息區的椅上。下午三點,館內的人爆多。楊襄襄決定去投飲料,坐著的馬休芸一臉肚爛,滑著手機想對策。
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由於方才激烈的PVP,會場和異世界重疊的區域已經超過一半,兩女根本無法回攤位──只要一靠近,就會因為『進入戰鬥』穿越。馬休芸見這樣下去不是辦法,只好打電話請顧攤同事用提袋裝問券跟贈品過來。然而異世界的擴張有增無減,最後,兩女只能走到館外拉人,還要閃攝影師。
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「她到底打不打算走啊!?這樣不是反而變我們被守屍了嗎?」一小時過去,兩女的活動範圍只剩下捷運站入口的台階。不光如此,仍在仁雄攤位徘徊的白貞德還朝她們狂丟魔法箭,雖然魔法從異世界飛到現實世界,就不會有傷害,一般人也看不到,但朝兩女一直射就跟網路遊戲洗頻一樣,超沒品。
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