我做了個夢,故事是這樣的:我們出發去一座森林狩獵魔豬。太陽很大,把森林照得難以名狀的耀眼,什麼都看不清。
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我不知道你跑去哪裡了。你可能在忙,趁著太陽未下山撿拾些莓果子,走去山泉水那裡。是我自己埋設好陷阱,把幼崽子宰了後放入,為標槍塗上曼陀羅汁。
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你一直都沒有回來,我決定放棄這些,出發去白茫茫的林子中找你,但這些樹林就像在跟我作對,不斷讓我回到我們一同出發前的那間小屋子。
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忽然,我感覺我的腹部很痛,有個利物刺傷了我。我低頭看,發現是那頭魔豬的獠牙。不知怎地,我竟覺得那頭魔豬與你給我的感覺好像,而我就要死了。
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這時候我才發現,我其實是一個人。
齊格飛,你並沒有陪我來。
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布倫希爾德是北歐神話記載的女武神將軍,奧丁的女兒。
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在一次主神奧丁與主神大老婆委託的仲裁事件(女武神下凡常跑的業務),有著敢愛敢恨性格的布倫希爾德,就是看連續劇會哭那種,為當事人的愛情故事所感動,就違背了天庭公正原則,司法不公,偷幫。
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布倫希爾德的嚴重失職害主神奧丁跟主神大老婆大吵一架,搞到最後,心疼女兒但無法包庇她的奧丁,只能取消她女武神的資格,將她貶入凡間,在烈火山崖當睡美人。首衝越過火焰沒死的那個男人,就能得到她。
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還有另外一種說法是,布倫希爾德受到當事人齊格蒙德、齊格琳德的愛情故事影響,就在沉睡前跟她老爸提起訴願:唯有心無畏懼的英雄方能跨過火焰,跟她立下愛的誓言,永遠相愛,白頭偕老。連續劇看太多。
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而無論是哪一種,最後都接到走路工洛基,在荒山降下了重重火焰。當事人齊格蒙德、齊格琳德夫婦葛屁,那個布倫希爾德捨命保護的當事人孩子,後來被矮人撿回家養大,長大成人,就是我們的大飛哥齊格飛。
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諸神黃昏的故事仍未終結,在這個版本,穿越寶把舞台設定在遠離英法百年戰爭的冰島,沉睡的山谷換成火風暴封鎖的城堡,走入城堡的這一段路,仁雄經過了水晶森林,蟲鳴鳥叫。
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「蟲鳴鳥叫,記得歌劇裏也有這一段。」仁雄在探索城堡時回憶方才森林那一段,他忽然想到華格納的歌劇,就是有一隻鳥飛來告訴齊格飛,布倫希爾德沉睡在這山谷,齊格飛因為戒指的神力,所以能聽懂鳥類講話。
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那麼仁雄為何沒聽見這段鳥覽趴叫呢?他想是因為自己沒有戴上戒指,所以字幕跑不出。唉,好歹也給個cc字幕。
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城內除了修剪完整的庭園與一座穀倉,與水晶森林給人的感覺無太大差異。主建築是一棟尖塔城堡,仁雄還站在護城河吊橋時遠遠就有看見。入口無門板阻擋,仁雄想也沒想,大搖大擺走了進去。
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不自然的光線──這是仁雄觀察城堡內部的第一個想法,不知是磚牆本身會發光,還是經由某處的光源反覆折射,仁雄在城堡內部探索。他走過了迴廊、交誼廳、餐廳、花園、許許多多小房間。
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一路上,隨處可見的就是人型冰雕,其他再無特別事物,也沒有危險。冰雕的數量仁雄想恐怕有上百個,直到剛剛都還有看到。它們破損程度不一,有的斷手斷腳,有的身首異處,有的破碎成粉末,唯一的共通點,是背部盔甲有一道極深的凹痕。致命傷。
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看得到臉的,均是齊格飛的面容。一下子看到這麼多齊格飛的死法,仁雄想北歐大英雄的臉,已深深烙在他靈魂深處,真不舒服。
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他的弱點或許跟傳說紀載的一樣:齊格飛因為沐浴龍血,吃了無敵星星,唯一的弱點,即是背部一小塊未沾染龍血的部分。布倫希爾德唆使矮人哈根拿長槍,從背後捅,北歐大英雄就被哈根打死了。
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想不到在遇見布倫希爾德前,竟先發現齊格飛的致命弱點,仁雄大感振奮,本想立刻用手機傳訊息給烏列爾,然而歡快的情緒很快放到一旁,仁雄很快想到:只要熟悉《尼伯龍根指環》故事的讀者,必然能推敲出齊格飛的弱點是背部,根本不需要這些冰雕證明,而齊格飛既然是完全型態,他肯定有保護自己致命傷的手段,什麼鐵壁盧恩之類的。
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所以,能夠打破目前局面的,還是只能靠沉睡於此的女武神。
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數分鐘過去,仁雄在走廊盡頭轉入一個大空間,那有點像《進擊的巨人》中關艾倫的石窟。寬敞無比,水晶岩壁剔透美麗。仁雄越想越覺得怪,按照這城堡格局,怎可能拐個彎就到秘境?但魔法的世界也沒什麼不可以,他想,這就是盧恩文字的力量。
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「原來妳已經醒來了,女武神大人。」秘境中的齊格飛冰雕,數量遠遠超過仁雄先前探索的區域。他視線所見的其中一個方位,有個大潭,面目全非的齊格飛堆滿整個潭子,彷彿堆廢棄人偶的垃圾堆。
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「你就是這次來接我離開的穿越使者?」銀長髮,頭戴羽毛盔,著藍色硬皮甲與白色戰裙的高挑女戰士,手持長弓,立於冰凍台座。練習弓術的她神情專注,一邊以平靜聲音詢問仁雄,視線則放在她放箭射倒的冰雕。
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她每射倒幾個,寬廣冰原就如大片輸送帶,將置於其上的無數齊格飛往女武神方向移動。女武神的箭有時放得快,有時漸緩,冰雕,則永遠能夠遞補上。
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「你已經看見了,我的內心是如此醜陋,也容不下其他人。在享受完我的身體後趕快離開吧。離我越遠越好,這是忠告。」她的聲音就如她冷若冰霜的面孔。
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「怎麼說?在我越過火焰之後,我不已是妳的丈夫嗎?」平靜說完,仁雄本想朝她走近,但雙方距離二十步時,布倫希爾德如開機關槍般朝他發射數箭,仁雄連反應都反應不過來,襯衫釦子就連著箭頭全落了,他卻只感覺胸口由上往下,好像被指頭戳一樣。布倫希爾德箭術之精湛,令仁雄嘆為觀止,若她要取仁雄性命,可說不費吹灰之力。
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「這是穿越寶定義的契約。嗯,我會將你服侍得服服貼貼,無怨無悔。但你有聽過我的故事嗎?如果沒有,可以用你的手機搜尋一下。」前一刻女武神還放箭恐嚇,話未說完,她便來回顧盼,然後直直朝仁雄走去,揮動手指以盧恩文字召喚了桌椅、佳餚與牛角酒杯,和仁雄共席。
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「我知道妳的故事。繪本、小說、動畫都有看過,雖然沒有看過歌劇原著,說是我是妳的粉絲也未嘗不可。」仁雄坐上椅子,端詳著與他僅隔著一張餐桌的布倫希爾德。
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「動畫應該是日本人拍的那種奇奇怪怪的吧?什麼大蛇觸手、獸人,精子噴滿臉的。」布倫希爾德以牛角酒杯為仁雄斟滿酒,也為自己斟滿一杯;見冰山美人冷冰冰開著黃腔,有股微妙的感覺。
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「那不重要。」仁雄說,忽然,布倫希爾德瞇著眼睛,微笑,將斟滿的牛角酒杯提起,向仁雄敬。
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「這是什麼酒?劉德華嗎?還是光良。」仁雄觀察著杯中酒的色澤,看不出所以,只覺液體與水一樣白淨。
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「你說啥呢?」布倫希爾德雖然聽不懂,但覺得仁雄的話很有趣。
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「〈忘情水〉跟〈愛情靈藥〉。」仁雄答。無論是劉德華的歌曲,2002光良主演的電影,都是與愛情有關。也曾在歌劇出現過。
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「只是普通的伏特加罷了。希望等等,能讓你有個歡愉難忘的一晚……」一輛豪奢大氣的馬車駛來,布倫希爾德似乎想在車內做愛。
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「那是一定的,畢竟女武神是英雄的情人嘛。」仁雄苦笑。根據北歐神話,女武神不但是英雄的情人,還是英雄死去時,會看到的一幕。
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「但我有一個問題:為什麼妳說離妳越遠越好呢?與妳所愛的英雄無法長相廝守,會影響到遊戲嗎?」
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「嗯、你是戴上戒指,繼承齊格飛的身分前來迎娶我,所以你我最終的結局,一樣是我將你給殺了……戴上戒指的人,能夠得到強大的力量,代價是必須捨棄愛情。」布倫希爾德引述歌劇情節。
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「可是穿越使者受人類大意志影響不會死,更別說被自己的角色殺掉。」仁雄反駁。
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「確實不會。所以替代的效果是我會對你造成永久傷害後,我再自殺(契約解除),你不值得因我留下傷痕。你可能會在某天騎車的時候,被違規停車的駕駛開車門,然後被卡車撞哦。」布倫希爾德一貫的輕描淡寫。
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「妳講的也太有畫面。這樣就算受人類大意志保護不死,也去了半條命。」仁雄不太舒服,光想像那情景就覺得毛骨悚然。
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「你想要一輩子坐輪椅,只在穿越的時候恢復健康嗎?變成瞎子,只在穿越時目光如老鷹?我感覺你是認真工作的人,如果你想保有你原本的生活,在幹完我後就解除契約,然後離開這個地方吧,我會讓你有個難忘的回憶。」不知是女武神態度過於理性,或是她黯然接受這一切,仁雄震撼著布倫希爾德羽盔下的面容。看似冰冷,卻又處處為初次見面的陌生人著想。
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「這,已經發生過很多次了吧?」仁雄問著,布倫希爾德點點頭,將視線別開。
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「無論是幸運抽到,或從其他管道得到。戴上戒指的穿越使者,都信誓旦旦的說『這次不同』……也確實過了一段幸福快樂的時光,後來,」仁雄這時才注意到,布倫希爾德眼眶滑下一滴淚珠。她一定很傷心自己因為遊戲機制,害許多為她鋌而走險的穿越使者受傷;短暫享受過SSR角色,然後只能在異世界享有完整的身體,在現實世界則有殘疾。
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「但是布倫希爾德,不知妳有沒有發現一件特別的事?」仁雄在想了想後開口,邊說邊指向一旁的馬車。見仁雄指示,布倫希爾德即刻起身,往馬車走去,跟在後頭的仁雄還不客氣用手拍女武神裹著白裙的翹臀,要她走快點。踏上踏階時,先上車的布倫希爾德,手拉了隨後上車的仁雄一把。
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「男人,你想說什麼?」馬車內部是一面圓形的錦緞床鋪,窗櫺由薄紗裝飾,像極情境旅館的套房。坐在床上的布倫希爾德,將過膝長靴脫下,羽盔、胸甲與臂甲也很快脫去,僅著一件小背心,性感美麗。
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「我想要說的是,」仁雄凝視著眼前美人,聞著她身上的幽香,誘人的輪廓。布倫希爾德真的好美,尤其是她一副冷冰冰,拒人千里之外的臉孔,話語卻時時刻刻透露著心中善良。
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「我想說『這次不同』。」接著,仁雄模仿布倫希爾德的語氣。
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「……別鬧了。你醞釀這麼久,結果卻只有這個?」布倫希爾德輕輕的嗓音透露著無奈,隨後,她便主動迎向前,想去吻仁雄,然而仁雄竟將她的手拍開。
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布倫希爾德納悶極了,與仁雄四目相接。仁雄的眼神告訴她:他說的是真的。
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「我不明白,有什麼不一樣?」布倫希爾德問。
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「我沒有戴戒指。」這時布倫希爾德的視線才垂下,移到仁雄手上。
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「啊?你在開玩笑嗎?你以為把它隱藏起來了,就沒這回事?不過就是換皮而已,這點伎倆,是消除不了加諸在我身上的愛情詛咒。」
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「不,我真的沒戴啊。」仁雄攤開十指,還把手機螢幕上的裝備欄給她看。
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「操……你是奧丁的烏鴉嗎?為何要這樣戲弄我?這是另一個存在我惡夢的幻像嗎?穿越寶什麼時候加裝這個夢境。這,不會是洛基加入華夫人麾下,他學會了新的詭計?」布倫希爾德感到被系統徹底羞辱。近乎全裸的自己,就如同梳妝打扮好的妓女正要接客,卻被老鴇闖進來臨時喊卡。
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「這到底是怎麼回事?你給我說清楚,我會……」布倫希爾德才要發怒,但與眼前男子在靈魂深處的羈絆告訴她,她布倫希爾德與歐周仁雄確實有簽契約──他成功通過火焰的試煉,這是假不了的。自己已是他的妻子、伴侶、他的角色,必須奉他為主。
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「等等、等一下!這不是真的,我不要……我不要……」除了眼前的男子充滿謎團,布倫希爾德立刻想到了新的問題。她越想越害怕,越想越焦急,不知該如何是好,凝視著仁雄,驚恐的她淚珠不斷自眼眶滑落。
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「到底是誰戴上了戒指?到底是誰戴上了戒指?」再也克制不住的布倫希爾德揪著仁雄衣領,搖晃了他的身體。她恨不得立刻撕碎這個無辜的男人,契約不允許她這麼做。布倫希爾德,比以前更加痛恨這個世界。
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「是齊格飛,他親自戴上戒指為這個世界開啟諸神的黃昏,因此才有米德加爾特的冬天,妳跟新天鵝堡才召喚到了冰島上。」
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「那他為什麼不來看我?為何不親自帶我走。我好想他。我好想他……你難道是龔特爾嗎?(歌劇中娶布倫希爾德為妻的國王)」布倫希爾德的手掠開窗紗,視線飄到馬車之外:有著齊格飛樣貌的冰雕,在這白色世界數以萬計。布倫希爾德的思念也是,愛他與恨他的念頭從未停過。
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「他跟我說,『一個人獨自痛苦,總過兩個人好』。齊格飛不希望妳跟他一起殉情,也不希望妳在無窮輪迴裡不斷傷害人。」
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「跟你在一起就比較好嗎?我又不愛你。做你的玩具被一輩子囚禁有比較好過嗎?我真恨不得把萬分之一對齊格飛的恨轉移到你身上,你真是個自以為是垃圾。竟然……和他聯手演了這齣爛戲,你到底是怎麼跨過火焰的啦!這太卑鄙,太惡毒了!」布倫希爾德一巴掌打在仁雄臉頰。她楞了一下,因為她不能理解仁雄與她的契約,能允許她做如此無禮的事。這讓她心中產生一絲動搖。
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「嗯,我確實是這樣。自以為是,是個垃圾。妳也不要對我有什麼期待。」仁雄感慨道。布倫希爾德端詳他半天,片刻,女性直覺告訴她,令仁雄沮喪的是別的事情。
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「主人。」忽然,布倫希爾德說道。
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「幹嘛?」仁雄轉頭,不解布倫希爾德怎忽然用此稱呼。
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「請允許我看你的記憶。『回憶之盧恩』。」布倫希爾德的手在半空中劃出魔法紋樣。她的雙眼泛起水般稜光。
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數分鐘後,布倫希爾德露出難以置信的表情。
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「那女人是誰?她居然這樣汙衊你、背叛你?賤人,下賤的母狗。」
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「不至於吧?我倒要感謝她在最後一刻良心發現,否則我現在還在替她養小孩。」仁雄望著女武神發怒,這時才明白布倫希爾德有多單純。這並不奇怪,北歐神話的世界,光要生存下去都不容易,哪有空搞那些有的沒的。仁雄的世界沒有戰爭,人類有更多閒功夫醞釀詭計與惡意。
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「你不是已經承諾會照顧她跟她的小孩嗎,她為什麼又要殺死自己的孩子?」看見仁雄的回憶,布倫希爾德連自己悲傷都忘了,直問道。
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「她害怕失去我吧?就跟她當初很怕,所以把事情全賴給我那樣……妳不是也傷害自己的愛人嗎?」仁雄笑了笑:「還殺了他。」他續道。
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其實仁雄也不明白,明明跟學姐曖昧的人不少,學姐竟選擇向他求助。在學姐喝個爛醉,在夜店被很多男人插時,仁雄當時可是在網咖顧機台,在那邊三國。可能就是因為學姐知道仁雄不會跑掉,才死賴著他不放。學姐的曖昧對象、男朋友,在知道她懷孕後全跑了,因此,就由仁雄負責善後,很合理。
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「她還膽敢跟你說要做一家人,然後你!你!你居然還真的跟她當家人?」
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「不然該怎麼辦?丟下婷婷不管嗎?我有能力……承擔這事啊。好了,妳現在什麼都看見了,爽了,總該相信我會照顧妳吧?說真的,這只是一起無知大學生搞出來的社會事件,與妳大女武神的悲劇相比,不值得一提。」仁雄的言談充滿挑釁。回憶此事令人不快,但若能讓女武神理解他,他覺得無妨。
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畢竟是那麼久以前的事。現實不比穿越使者在異世界,有多少委屈,都要忍著。況且學姐自覺有愧,只要仁雄想要,她都會腿開開給他幹。這麼多年夠本了,夠償還仁雄了。
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仁雄最近才意識到,自己早就不在意這事。否則他就不會在烏麗兒現身時,拿婷婷的大衣給她穿。那些情趣玩具跟衣服,保存的也不是很理想,頂多只有氣墊床沒破。
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說真的烏麗兒也沒那麼愛他,用個大雞雞在那邊走來走去。仁雄不吭聲,他就不變回來,把他老婆的靈魂綁架在男人身體裏,居然還常常一副眉頭深鎖的模樣,搞得好像仁雄對他/她不好了。
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「妳這台馬車應該可以直接飛出城堡吧?趕快弄一弄,我明天還要上班。」說完,仁雄隨意往床一側躺去,闔上眼休息。
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