Everywhere it's just the same
I know there's only me to blame
I'm left behind, I sit alone.
I'm tired of being on my own.
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No one notices, no one cares.
No one even knows I'm there.
I hold back tears, fake a smile.
It only lasts a little while.
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The tears fall down, I start to cry.
No one even bats an eye.
I cover my face with my curly hair.
They go on laughing without a care.
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I leave the room to cry my tears
As if it would wash away my fears.
But I'm still lonely, shy, and sad.
So I tell myself it's not that bad.
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Being alone gives me time to think
But it also makes my spirits sink.
The only thought inside my head
Is how I wish I were like them instead.
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Why does talking come naturally
To everyone, it seems, but me?
If I could only say one line,
Perhaps their confidence could be mine.
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All I had to do was try it
Or be content with being quiet.
I only got in a word or two
Before being interrupted by who knows who.
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Another time, I tried again
Just to meet an equally bitter end.
I said my line, word for word.
But no one around even heard.
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I decided to try just one more time.
I took a breath and said my line.
Everything about it was all wrong.
I wanted to cry but I had to be strong.
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My confidence shattered when laughing ensued.
I tried to laugh with them but I found it quite rude.
My failure becoming their new favorite joke.
Because I didn't think through the words that I spoke.
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I decided to never again speak in a crowd.
My words were much better when not said out loud.
I broke this promise with little thought,
Hoping it would get better, but it did not.
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Maybe I'm better sitting alone.
Keeping my words all for my own.
Why should I stand up and face my fear
Just to say words that no one wants to hear?
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