First of, depression isn't something to be made fun of.
Second of, having depression doesn't make you an attention seeker.
And third of, if you don't want to read about depression then you can-and I'm telling you nicely- gladly f**k off and delete my book from your library.
There, simple. You people have minds. When you don't like something, delete it. Remove it from your life. Destroy its existence-
Okay, now I'm just exaggerating. Don't destroy, that's not fun, especially if you're going through depression, you seriously want to destroy the world.
Now, this chapter is going to be very touchy, so I'm warning you, if you don't like it, say goodbye.
Deal? Good.
Now what is depression? I personally don't know how to explain it, besides from the fact that it's like a big rock has been taped onto your chest. However, when you think of depression, you think of sadness, breakdowns, isolation, suicide and all those crappy things.
Do you know why they're crappy? Because they're not accurate. They say, if you have depression you're sad. If you smile or laugh then you don't have depression. They say, if you have depression, you have to wear dark clothes and isolate yourself. If you wear bright colours and hang out with lots of people, you don't have depression. They say if you don't have scars on your body then you aren't depressed. Or if you do have scars on your body, especially on your arms then something might be wrong.
This is called stereotypes. We, as human beings are told to watch out for particular symptoms of a person that might be a sign of-let's say,depression-to look out for them and s**t, but they're not realising that people are hiding.
People hide behind a smile.
People hide behind clothes.
People hide behind sarcasm and jokes.
People hide behind many things and still to this day they tell us to look out for particular f****n symptoms.
What are we supposed to do if from such a young age we are being labeled and stereotyped?
Okay, discussion one over, on to the next part.
Many people are afraid to come out and say what they please. Why? Well...many reasons.
A popular example-and some might agree and disagree- is your sexuality. So many people keep who they are to themselves because they are afraid of being judged. They fear acceptance from friends and family- my God family is the most important thing in this whole discussion thingy.
Family is the main reason why people keep to themselves. A person cannot go into a living room full of family members and relatives and yell out, "I'm gay!" Or "I have depression!" Or "I'm a dropout!" Without being judged.
You know what? I want someone, one person-or 0.5 I don't really care- to go out in the middle of a crowded place and say something that others may judge you on.
You can go out to the shops and yell "I'm depressed!" It'll feel good when you get it off your chest but this also brings me to the most ignorant thing I've ever heard. It's even worse than Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton...same thing.
I've heard that if people say, for example, they're depressed then they're lying. I've heard that if people say they're depressed, then they're seeking attention. I've heard that if people say they're depressed, then they want others to pity them.
Okay. I don't care. You shouldn't care. We shouldn't care. Because people are going to speak nonsense no matter what. They're people. People are ignorant duh. That's why Double D-aka Donald Dump- is gonna become the president.
But when family and friends say that, then-what? Hell, I'm suddenly speechless. I mean, I as a person wouldn't tell my family anything for the sake of being looked at weirdly. Let me admit something. I used to have depression back like...two years ago? And it got really bad last year. Heck, I still have the stupid s**t just not as bad. I'm overcoming it and it feels great.
But I didn't tell anyone-not even my family-because they would've thought I was lying. Let's be honest, hands up who couldn't tell anyone these sort of things because they didn't want to be pitied, called a liar, attention seeker or anything? I could boldly put my hand up right now, but I'm typing.
Now for those who might be reading this- the ones who know me- you'd probably say really? Why didn't you tell me? I didn't even know, blah blah blah. The answer's above.
However, for those who don't know me and might be saying, huh what an attention seeker. Well here's a big 🖕 and if you can't see it then look at your third finger.
I'm not seeking attention. I'm not even doing this for sympathy. I'm actually doing this because I was at some clothing store today-by force love, by force- and there was this big as family in there. Like seriously, it's a clothing store for women, why are the boys and father in there?
But anyway, I was looking at some dress within earshot of the woman and she's like in Arabic, "where's Aisha?"
And the dad goes, "I don't know, probably in the cubicles trying to kill herself."
And I bluntly stopped and looked at him like the f**k?
For those who don't know me, I'm a ridiculously honest person and definitely not afraid to speak my mind. But for some reason, this time I couldn't. It was incredibly shocking to hear that come from a father's mouth who was talking about one of his children. Like, how can he be so heartless?
I actually walked out of the store straight after that and lost my mum-only for a few minutes though- for those who wanted to know.
But anyway, back to the point. You see why many of us with depression don't like to tell anyone, especially family?
Family- especially parents- find it hard to accept that their child is something other than a perfect robot who's meant to be getting straight A's at school and coming home with big grins on their faces. They except their children to not answer back to them-even if they're wrong- and be a social bee who they can be proud of. They expect them to look and dress like the most richest person on Earth. They expect them to do things without protest. They expect us to be pure, holy, just plain perfect.
Meaning, they forget that we are human. We can make mistakes, we can get a few Ds and Es, even Fs every once in a while. We can come home feeling tired because we are human. We can answer them back and voice our opinions. We don't always have to say yes and agree to everything they say. Have they heard of something called human rights? Or does that only exist to adults? Do children not have the right to speak their mind too?
We can be antisocial if we want. We don't have to talk to others. We can be sad from time to time. We can not look appropriate with clothing and makeup from time to time.
We can look ugly, be ugly, feel ugly because we are human. It's expected of us to be perfect inside and out but we can break these expectations. It's only natural. Because we are human. And we couldn't have been made any other way.
Unless you want to be dirt then have fun being stepped on by people's shoes.
890Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7b6BpbT6y
(2019)
I didn’t read all of this, but I get what you’re trying to say. It seems you held onto a lot of sadness and hatred, and pretended that you're "getting better", as you said above. So I hope you’re in a better place now, little Rain. And I hope you’ve learnt to love and accept your past, present and future self. Above all, I hope you’ve tried your very best in bettering yourself. Of course, you'll always grow, but acknowledging when you're in the wrong, educating yourself about that said wrong, never doing it again and always telling people who do the wrong thing to not do it and why, is a quality you, little Rain, must have and be willing to do. 890Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFZo1oPpNE
I want you to always remember that I’m proud of the person you’ve become. It’s been a long journey. You can rest now, and work on the future you’ve always wanted, later.
Also, please, I beg of you, never ignore the symptoms. I get little Rain was talking about stereotyping depression and mental illness, but these symptoms you're meant to look out for are there for a reason. They are a part of depression, and many victims of this illness suffer from these symptoms. So please, never ignore them, and always check up on your loved ones.
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