夜深,晚空下著毛毛雨,滴答打著玻璃,仿如安眠曲。柔和的燭光在黑暗中扭動,隨書本翻頁掀起的微風起舞。235Please respect copyright.PENANAzZZms6yvW2
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祐嘉拿起能量飲品小吮,她皺眉咋舌強忍,泥水般的味道始終難以接受。她張大嘴巴吸氣,沖淡舌頭上怪味。235Please respect copyright.PENANAG0lXIbGPmu
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望著手心,電量45%。235Please respect copyright.PENANAXwKh1X2M7w
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盯著掌心良久,靜待數字出現變化。235Please respect copyright.PENANAAMOaycigOU
44%235Please respect copyright.PENANA5AhdE8kZH9
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「祐嘉。」
黑暗後傳來輕音呼喚,聲音小得讓祐嘉以為是心理作用,一不留神就被雨聲蓋過。235Please respect copyright.PENANAVweFFF1PFo
235Please respect copyright.PENANAlguLqtaHZj
從黑影裡出現的,是智賀。235Please respect copyright.PENANAhYwIUpXOqj
235Please respect copyright.PENANAQD5gZ5U0UB
「抱歉,吵醒你了?」235Please respect copyright.PENANABUB7CiqZNw
235Please respect copyright.PENANAJYsCvZwe1f
智賀搖頭,巨大的耳朵左右搖擺。235Please respect copyright.PENANALHQV7ILwC9
235Please respect copyright.PENANAanLb32O70v
「我一直都清醒。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAhS5u730sj0
235Please respect copyright.PENANAy8zhVgZBCh
聽到認真的語氣,祐嘉下意識地板直了腰。235Please respect copyright.PENANAck4MojAY5r
235Please respect copyright.PENANA1e5KhIX2dg
智賀握住右手上臂,閃縮的動作隱含一絲焦慮,「我可以跟你談一談嗎?」235Please respect copyright.PENANA7guxu2lBWX
235Please respect copyright.PENANAWb5UTXDrnp
「換個方便說話的地方吧,我們到走廊去。」祐嘉合上書本,從廂座站起來,拿起燭台便走。235Please respect copyright.PENANAk0qa4aspEP
235Please respect copyright.PENANArb0JNLIEST
二人靜悄悄越過防煙門來到走廊。祐嘉把燭台安置在架子上,光暈剛好包圍她們。235Please respect copyright.PENANAf69NbvlSdv
235Please respect copyright.PENANAYPOTnpSflo
祐嘉:「你想說甚麼?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAZOMro5E3IT
235Please respect copyright.PENANAnz4udqqN4j
「可以牽住你的手嗎?求求你。」235Please respect copyright.PENANADJEmZp8J9p
235Please respect copyright.PENANAKCRgmD6X1L
祐嘉感到意外,面前的智賀一反常態,不見平常的活力和傻勁。她伸出右手,伴隨微笑,不帶半點猶豫。235Please respect copyright.PENANAtKUMK8FIRZ
235Please respect copyright.PENANAZveV9WwYcr
智賀幾乎用撲的以雙手握住祐嘉的手,如同是碩果僅存的世間至寶。235Please respect copyright.PENANAgL332AAz3K
235Please respect copyright.PENANATE3u6UGBfy
「你的手好暖。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAPYw5f43TXX
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「我可以抱著你啊。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAdTqj6zV7wd
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「只要牽手便行了,這樣就能冷靜下來。」235Please respect copyright.PENANASwHZW4pG6Z
235Please respect copyright.PENANAKni7WzcGW0
「慢慢來,我不介意。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ww2DlYCVO
235Please respect copyright.PENANAAMKNAMzSrq
昏暗中而難以察覺,智賀一直在發抖,不安和無助的情緒傳給祐嘉,像一只受傷的小動物。235Please respect copyright.PENANAmxDvYDk4vb
235Please respect copyright.PENANAaO5wKtLGqz
「祐嘉…」聲線細如蚊音,「我好害怕,我已經無路可走。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAkBnkhiWxkJ
235Please respect copyright.PENANAxJsbSnoBti
祐嘉舉起手,輕輕的撫摸智賀的頭。她好像有點嚇到,肩膀縮了一下,但之後就接受了,慢慢放鬆身體。235Please respect copyright.PENANAHmzCqoQxq0
235Please respect copyright.PENANAKvJYwDRrnZ
祐嘉也不知道為甚麼要這樣做。她只是想不到如何回答,身體順其自然便摸下去了。幸好智賀並不抗拒。235Please respect copyright.PENANAUWTuXUvJ0E
235Please respect copyright.PENANAVDG1UvDK5z
智賀的頭又軟又蓬鬆,髮絲擠過指縫,如跟祐嘉十指緊扣。觸感不似頭髮,綿綿的,像毛公仔。235Please respect copyright.PENANAbLcBNPHz7S
235Please respect copyright.PENANAIxnCzY0VSN
祐嘉忍不住加大力度搓揉,粉紅色的頭髮反過來包住她的手,手心手背同時感受到軟綿綿,獨特的手感不禁讓人迷上。
突然,她摸到一個硬物,指甲般小,涼涼的像玻璃。那是甚麼?是沾到垃圾了嗎?她用指尖輕摳,硬物沾得很實,紋風不動。235Please respect copyright.PENANAJUUuqvjLK7
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「祐嘉……」智賀尷尬地開口,「那是我的眼睛。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAvI3cgY9zwk
235Please respect copyright.PENANAQOznoBWduO
「抱歉!」祐嘉連忙抽手,「弄痛你嗎?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAGNWSOuluhs
235Please respect copyright.PENANARI1ImlV7UZ
智賀指著劉海下接近髮線的位置,指尖『咚咚』的敲下去。235Please respect copyright.PENANAcTQ4hn77V5
235Please respect copyright.PENANAK9t1ixewTW
「我的眼睛是鏡頭,沒有痛覺。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAxkoKmHDncy
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祐嘉遲疑地伸手,智賀有點不願的歪頭,心底掙扎了一下,還是轉回正面面向祐嘉。235Please respect copyright.PENANA8G48dcdfi7
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盡可能地放輕動作,指尖撥開那粉紅色的面紗。這…就是智賀的真面目,眼睛的位置是一塊佈滿恐怖刮痕的臉皮,底下的鐵色義體完全暴露。
這是,智賀的絕望。235Please respect copyright.PENANAosqX6mV7ZV
235Please respect copyright.PENANAeW0PwKI07Y
「如果我有眼睛,現在一定哭成淚人。」智賀帶著自嘲的笑意,聲音明顯地顫抖,「很噁心吧,覺得像怪物吧。」235Please respect copyright.PENANADTIR5xvxRQ
235Please respect copyright.PENANAWTVuNkxfWR
祐嘉立刻牽起智賀雙手,用力傳遞鼓勵和支持的意念,「誰都不會把你當成怪物!智賀是我們的一份子,不可或缺的朋友!」235Please respect copyright.PENANARJHgnBYNI6
235Please respect copyright.PENANA3z7w8admll
「朋友…呢…」智賀的嘴角傾斜,「我會變成這副人模鬼樣,就是因為朋友的理由。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAL4KEXRAa23
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「甚麼…意思?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAPx5EVViTHg
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智賀咬著下唇,欲言又止。祐嘉耐心等候,只是默默地用力握住她的手,視線不離開半刻。235Please respect copyright.PENANAZceDaoGsRh
235Please respect copyright.PENANAR54YEUpqm3
「我有一個朋友,青梅竹馬那種,她叫栗子。栗子是我唯一的……曾經的朋友。她在初中時結識了班裡的壞份子,她們……開始欺凌我。
「當時我仍然當栗子是真心好友,從未意識到她們對我做的事有多過份。『只是朋友的小玩笑罷了,其實不必在意,不然就太小氣了。』我如此安慰自己,將不憤的情緒忍氣吞聲。235Please respect copyright.PENANAsQ9HVa4eR2
235Please respect copyright.PENANA471lFrNy6W
「這種關係一直持續到畢業,栗子的壞朋友各奔前程。我真心真意地相信著,我們能回復到小時候的友誼。235Please respect copyright.PENANAhod9mZg9CU
235Please respect copyright.PENANARlSq9IaAJn
「的確,畢業後我們的關係變好了,栗子不再欺凌我,變得像值得交心的『摯友』。一天,栗子提議我們一起去做靈魂倒模,用巨額酬金去環遊世界。這是個十分吸引的提議,和最好的朋友周遊列國,像夢想成真一樣,根本沒有拒絕的理由。235Please respect copyright.PENANAHJadnve5UB
235Please respect copyright.PENANAAroHSz0N7b
「只要在機器上躺一會就能收錢,世上還有更划算的工作嗎?我沒有多考慮便答應了。做靈魂倒模時,滿腦子都是和栗子吃喝玩樂的幻想,記憶的最後一刻還在笑呢。
「萬萬想不到的是,一覺醒來,我居然是仿真人那邊。我是蠢到無可救藥的地步,靈魂倒模就是複製意識,還天真地以為那是別人的事,自己可以置身事外。235Please respect copyright.PENANAjfdPBIzbzR
235Please respect copyright.PENANACxtOUnk2qy
「不單止變成仿真人;記憶中一堆事情想不起來;莫名其妙的荒島漂流;還變成這副鬼模樣,現實太不可理喻了。235Please respect copyright.PENANAeqra07XDun
235Please respect copyright.PENANAFaw731EMMD
「太多事情要想,在想通之前,又一個問題大浪淹蓋過來。一浪接一浪,我的腦子要壞掉了,已經沒有氣力再想。喔,要是我瘋了便不用再思考,一切不就變得輕鬆了嗎?於是我戴上瘋癲的面具,當個無憂無慮的傻子,無知最快樂。結果,無論怎樣裝瘋賣傻,我始終無法真正發瘋。刻意視而不見置之不理的心結從來沒有消失,甚至早已深入骨髓。
「裝傻已經不能逃避問題,但我一個人不會處理。我只好向你求救,祐嘉,你一定要幫我。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA9Af7sj3MkK
235Please respect copyright.PENANAuaqSQ3wBa6
祐嘉用力握住智賀的手「我當然會幫你,這是無容置疑的。你只須答應一點,千萬不要做傻事。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA68HYJv4b38
235Please respect copyright.PENANArJECJLX2MV
「我不會像亞里友梨那樣自殺。該說,我沒有那股必死的決心,我還想繼續生存。你覺得我很聳吧……? 」235Please respect copyright.PENANA2P66h9jZYP
235Please respect copyright.PENANAlboOeNmqEO
「我覺得,願意留下來是值得讚頌的勇氣。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAhkUtwJefiC
235Please respect copyright.PENANA8BqrPHPGPX
祐嘉又摸摸智賀的頭,她變得不介意了,主動低頭迎合。235Please respect copyright.PENANAD7RI4sLCpz
235Please respect copyright.PENANAJxQzxWPCS6
「我們慢慢來,我一句,你一句,不要著急,時間多的是。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAheVvQwEVLB
235Please respect copyright.PENANA2nUZGBPjFT
「明白。」智賀點頭。235Please respect copyright.PENANAAmzhDqKomr
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「梳理一下現況,你說自己無路可走,那麼,是甚麼東西在追趕你?你想逃避甚麼?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAYUokj6Lzt0
235Please respect copyright.PENANA8Jtio0lTHr
「我…我不知道,我無時無刻都很辛苦……好像…好像被捏住脖子不能呼吸的感覺。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAB2GRJ4c9Ed
235Please respect copyright.PENANA0Z3VOrrg9v
「慢慢來,我們一起找出原因。就由近況開始吧,亞里友梨的事讓你心理不安,對嗎?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAV70pbQkzdB
235Please respect copyright.PENANAo0Rtr9NaYo
「對。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA8x8OtcEHRY
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「因為太多未知之數,你覺得生命沒有保障,因而感到不安,是不是?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAnhBlTkmI3E
235Please respect copyright.PENANAxDh3RsGdD2
「是。Hina、大小姐、昌姐、初秋、友梨、亞里,她們都是毫無先兆,突然就消失不見。我很害怕,怕自己就是下一個。祐嘉,說謊騙我也好,說點能夠讓我心裡踏實的話。你總是那麼堅強,大家都不知不覺接受你的帶領。你的說話一定有足夠作為保證的重量,絕對可以帶給我勇氣。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAHGDlH9pOuO
235Please respect copyright.PENANA31HLul0XiR
「抱歉,這方面我不能作出任何擔保。我不會說『我們會沒事的。』,『不會再讓任何一個人離去。』之類,因為那是無法兌現的承諾。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAOSR8bandF0
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「嗚…我明白這是任性,但,我真的不想死。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAvIC1KRuiVE
235Please respect copyright.PENANAPfDMPKTaJ0
「智賀有甚麼喜歡做的事?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAsMI2xATOKh
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「吓?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAxKmUyd59Ry
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祐嘉搖搖手指,「你一句,我一句。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAT2tVr0l7Hj
235Please respect copyright.PENANACz4Xgc83wd
智賀頓了一會,人工大腦正努力思索。祐嘉看得出,她不是思考問題,而是揣測問題背後的心意。235Please respect copyright.PENANArqZkZARdWL
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「我一時之間想不到。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAjUlXbtJa5q
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「我喜歡教小熊寫字。」祐嘉說,指尖對指尖合十,「原本以為是很沉悶的工作,但智賀時不時就會搗蛋,讓事情變得非常有趣。」
「……」235Please respect copyright.PENANAG7bw1pljwV
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「我喜歡讀小說,尤其是需要分冊出版的超長篇。紅楓和友梨也有相同興趣,跟她們一起討論劇情十分開心。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA4CJ27E8krt
235Please respect copyright.PENANApHxONgo4V2
「……」235Please respect copyright.PENANASqmcR1meOn
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「我喜歡為大家煮飯,見到大家津津有味的食相,心頭充滿暖意。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAYDifatftgn
235Please respect copyright.PENANA0rA86hhbL8
「……」235Please respect copyright.PENANAapVFaFBFo3
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「我喜歡看安德魯和櫻鬥嘴,她們簡直是歡樂的泉源,望著她們就能把一天的陰霾一掃而空。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAJGCnW6qBen
235Please respect copyright.PENANAnghGkxOCJ4
「我…我喜歡你們。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAZLbxQGOdE6
235Please respect copyright.PENANAfQQqY25UO7
「你喜歡和我們在一起?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAEVOt8MxlUT
235Please respect copyright.PENANAPiJn26JRJu
「對,一起笑,一起哭,就算是放空發呆,和你們在一起的時光,對我來說都是值得珍惜的瑰寶。你們是我的朋友,真正的朋友。可是,這樣想的話,我和栗子又算甚麼?十年以上的情誼都是我一廂情願的嗎?」235Please respect copyright.PENANADAn5g9eJyI
235Please respect copyright.PENANAs2yGNtYq0I
「不是你的錯,硬要說的話,原因是智賀太善良。聽說你曾經被小熊嚇到逃跑,但之後你依然願意陪她玩,教她唱歌,給她說故事。這份感情絕對不是單向的,小熊很喜歡你,這一點我絕對可以作出保證。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAZpF9k8qK1c
235Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6TlXKPyFU
「要我否定和栗子的友誼,等同否定我過往的人生。不行,這樣太殘酷了。要為過去畫上大交叉,這種事我辦不到。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAngIp6Z9hoC
235Please respect copyright.PENANAMy5VIi5iJG
「智賀聽過上星期四理論嗎?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAxFK2VjGAC3
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「沒…」235Please respect copyright.PENANAHNpBrh2Rsr
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祐嘉隨手拿起一罐能量飲品,「你知道這是甚麼時候生產的嗎?」235Please respect copyright.PENANA9Unji1pe1g
235Please respect copyright.PENANAmiAnypyq0B
「一百年前,大概吧。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAcUWb6YM3i8
235Please respect copyright.PENANA8EC8qyYJlx
「如果我說,這其實是上星期四做出來的,你相信嗎?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAPpWF7lqxEU
235Please respect copyright.PENANAHLbo54UtVm
「不可能,罐底有雷射標籤證明生產日期。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAzHm1WZOmz6
235Please respect copyright.PENANAmSrhLahJqz
「標籤日期輕易就能更改,這不能作為決定性的證據。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAL8VU2cWpxm
235Please respect copyright.PENANAwGQyopy5g8
「罐子很殘舊,灰塵和鏽斑能夠證明罐子放了很久。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAJUXke9rCHK
235Please respect copyright.PENANAJS0NPyYYE7
「偽造舊化痕跡也不是甚麼難事吧。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAxZ0ebRCVpY
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「但我可以肯定,這些能量飲品在上星期四之前便已經在這裡,我的記憶可以做證。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAEsXgfktpuy
235Please respect copyright.PENANAe886EGp9ET
「你提出的一切證據,包括記憶都可以是上星期四製造出來的。上星期四理論所表達的是,你無法證明過去曾經發生,因為這個理論不存在『可否證性』,它無法被正常邏輯否定。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAxkhCogMXyk
235Please respect copyright.PENANAVPmBbSZsia
「我頭腦不好,完全沒聽懂。為甚麼現在提到這個?」235Please respect copyright.PENANAN9YBZv3anK
235Please respect copyright.PENANADcXbtq2isC
「我想說,智賀不用把過去看得太重。我們是仿真情人,記憶到底有幾分真幾分假,根本無從稽考。也許,你的認知經過刪減,你知道的並非事實的全部。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAG3IA4MCexA
235Please respect copyright.PENANASbCHQP9WD6
「你的意思是,做出那些過份的事的人,可能不是栗子?是我的記憶被調校成這樣?」235Please respect copyright.PENANA7qXOFbjMH8
235Please respect copyright.PENANAYr9lzhWNXN
祐嘉聳肩,「不知道,剛剛說了,無從稽考。事實真相為何,我們無法考證,也改變不了甚麼。然而,如何理解這份記憶;對你能產生甚麼影響,以上都是你的一念之差。」235Please respect copyright.PENANAHX8hhc7ijW
235Please respect copyright.PENANADech5Lkke0
智賀接不上話,祐嘉看得出她在思考,努力在尋找答案。空氣越來越安靜,外面的毛毛雨停下了。
然後,她開口:
「我不知道,我是個笨蛋。不過,也是呢,活在當下,是嗎?」
祐嘉沒有回答,只是兩手一攤。235Please respect copyright.PENANAkCZzzLtK5A
235Please respect copyright.PENANA0VIrpP9O9H
「我們沒有過去,也沒有未來,只有現在。深究記憶真偽是無意義的事呢。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA4fehv3t1nq
235Please respect copyright.PENANAqeL6wENsxX
「找不到答案也無所謂,至少你看到問題了,你可以選擇避開它,以後再感到迷惘也不用怕。即使日子再苦,也不要忽視幸福的存在。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA9Q8kGaSvkZ
235Please respect copyright.PENANAbNOT8rQGbM
「謝謝。」智賀擁抱祐嘉,劉海搔得她的臉很癢,「選擇跟你傾訴,真的太好了。」235Please respect copyright.PENANA4df99AmnCw
235Please respect copyright.PENANA6ClzC25QCI
燭光,變得更加熾熱。