夜深,晚空下著毛毛雨,滴答打著玻璃,仿如安眠曲。柔和的燭光在黑暗中扭動,隨書本翻頁掀起的微風起舞。220Please respect copyright.PENANA8lFjJ8um7C
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祐嘉拿起能量飲品小吮,她皺眉咋舌強忍,泥水般的味道始終難以接受。她張大嘴巴吸氣,沖淡舌頭上怪味。220Please respect copyright.PENANApfBFv4Z6Ad
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望著手心,電量45%。220Please respect copyright.PENANAU81hflUQEy
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盯著掌心良久,靜待數字出現變化。220Please respect copyright.PENANAYOHJWU0Wgz
44%220Please respect copyright.PENANA3Fqwf6E9u9
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「祐嘉。」
黑暗後傳來輕音呼喚,聲音小得讓祐嘉以為是心理作用,一不留神就被雨聲蓋過。220Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9G4VclOTU
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從黑影裡出現的,是智賀。220Please respect copyright.PENANARDItgsbWWM
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「抱歉,吵醒你了?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAq49RUH74hp
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智賀搖頭,巨大的耳朵左右搖擺。220Please respect copyright.PENANASvebuWhOZF
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「我一直都清醒。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAJqCYHUYRst
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聽到認真的語氣,祐嘉下意識地板直了腰。220Please respect copyright.PENANA3H2HXr0KCE
220Please respect copyright.PENANAXTGQU8PJCo
智賀握住右手上臂,閃縮的動作隱含一絲焦慮,「我可以跟你談一談嗎?」220Please respect copyright.PENANA9CK2yM25Jj
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「換個方便說話的地方吧,我們到走廊去。」祐嘉合上書本,從廂座站起來,拿起燭台便走。220Please respect copyright.PENANAzKlFy7tFJc
220Please respect copyright.PENANATO6XA3lYSI
二人靜悄悄越過防煙門來到走廊。祐嘉把燭台安置在架子上,光暈剛好包圍她們。220Please respect copyright.PENANAz45PgrRUwa
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祐嘉:「你想說甚麼?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAon6cQcDLaW
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「可以牽住你的手嗎?求求你。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAOd8ZYckblI
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祐嘉感到意外,面前的智賀一反常態,不見平常的活力和傻勁。她伸出右手,伴隨微笑,不帶半點猶豫。220Please respect copyright.PENANAYtT2q9jmsE
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智賀幾乎用撲的以雙手握住祐嘉的手,如同是碩果僅存的世間至寶。220Please respect copyright.PENANAnGjGEzvFH3
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「你的手好暖。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAmswMQCLcnI
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「我可以抱著你啊。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAyIYTXwjm7f
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「只要牽手便行了,這樣就能冷靜下來。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAR304oOLt09
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「慢慢來,我不介意。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAGvPPzcC6sF
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昏暗中而難以察覺,智賀一直在發抖,不安和無助的情緒傳給祐嘉,像一只受傷的小動物。220Please respect copyright.PENANAUI7UQ3ssjb
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「祐嘉…」聲線細如蚊音,「我好害怕,我已經無路可走。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAAiMwFOkg1m
220Please respect copyright.PENANAIpMJLSm1CW
祐嘉舉起手,輕輕的撫摸智賀的頭。她好像有點嚇到,肩膀縮了一下,但之後就接受了,慢慢放鬆身體。220Please respect copyright.PENANAoqq43jydRz
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祐嘉也不知道為甚麼要這樣做。她只是想不到如何回答,身體順其自然便摸下去了。幸好智賀並不抗拒。220Please respect copyright.PENANA2Cc19UTBiM
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智賀的頭又軟又蓬鬆,髮絲擠過指縫,如跟祐嘉十指緊扣。觸感不似頭髮,綿綿的,像毛公仔。220Please respect copyright.PENANAuQ3YLfcMF7
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祐嘉忍不住加大力度搓揉,粉紅色的頭髮反過來包住她的手,手心手背同時感受到軟綿綿,獨特的手感不禁讓人迷上。
突然,她摸到一個硬物,指甲般小,涼涼的像玻璃。那是甚麼?是沾到垃圾了嗎?她用指尖輕摳,硬物沾得很實,紋風不動。220Please respect copyright.PENANAITZqxHpFbt
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「祐嘉……」智賀尷尬地開口,「那是我的眼睛。」220Please respect copyright.PENANArOUxwLraUC
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「抱歉!」祐嘉連忙抽手,「弄痛你嗎?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAemMxDx3Wp0
220Please respect copyright.PENANAjzkVmxN5dz
智賀指著劉海下接近髮線的位置,指尖『咚咚』的敲下去。220Please respect copyright.PENANAZEzMVZImp0
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「我的眼睛是鏡頭,沒有痛覺。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA8Y2tosgqBL
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祐嘉遲疑地伸手,智賀有點不願的歪頭,心底掙扎了一下,還是轉回正面面向祐嘉。220Please respect copyright.PENANACrTH7Ja5mY
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盡可能地放輕動作,指尖撥開那粉紅色的面紗。這…就是智賀的真面目,眼睛的位置是一塊佈滿恐怖刮痕的臉皮,底下的鐵色義體完全暴露。
這是,智賀的絕望。220Please respect copyright.PENANAUnVoPGPg4r
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「如果我有眼睛,現在一定哭成淚人。」智賀帶著自嘲的笑意,聲音明顯地顫抖,「很噁心吧,覺得像怪物吧。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAR5M3h9Xtnk
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祐嘉立刻牽起智賀雙手,用力傳遞鼓勵和支持的意念,「誰都不會把你當成怪物!智賀是我們的一份子,不可或缺的朋友!」220Please respect copyright.PENANA1h4mEUXWMb
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「朋友…呢…」智賀的嘴角傾斜,「我會變成這副人模鬼樣,就是因為朋友的理由。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAgPW9VMhtNm
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「甚麼…意思?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAbDCf4HP90Q
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智賀咬著下唇,欲言又止。祐嘉耐心等候,只是默默地用力握住她的手,視線不離開半刻。220Please respect copyright.PENANALqrNGoBLF0
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「我有一個朋友,青梅竹馬那種,她叫栗子。栗子是我唯一的……曾經的朋友。她在初中時結識了班裡的壞份子,她們……開始欺凌我。
「當時我仍然當栗子是真心好友,從未意識到她們對我做的事有多過份。『只是朋友的小玩笑罷了,其實不必在意,不然就太小氣了。』我如此安慰自己,將不憤的情緒忍氣吞聲。220Please respect copyright.PENANAf6zwDhQGrD
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「這種關係一直持續到畢業,栗子的壞朋友各奔前程。我真心真意地相信著,我們能回復到小時候的友誼。220Please respect copyright.PENANAsfFQkKRY3p
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「的確,畢業後我們的關係變好了,栗子不再欺凌我,變得像值得交心的『摯友』。一天,栗子提議我們一起去做靈魂倒模,用巨額酬金去環遊世界。這是個十分吸引的提議,和最好的朋友周遊列國,像夢想成真一樣,根本沒有拒絕的理由。220Please respect copyright.PENANA0usE27FtMR
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「只要在機器上躺一會就能收錢,世上還有更划算的工作嗎?我沒有多考慮便答應了。做靈魂倒模時,滿腦子都是和栗子吃喝玩樂的幻想,記憶的最後一刻還在笑呢。
「萬萬想不到的是,一覺醒來,我居然是仿真人那邊。我是蠢到無可救藥的地步,靈魂倒模就是複製意識,還天真地以為那是別人的事,自己可以置身事外。220Please respect copyright.PENANAop5B3q1lZG
220Please respect copyright.PENANAQlH6tJkuHO
「不單止變成仿真人;記憶中一堆事情想不起來;莫名其妙的荒島漂流;還變成這副鬼模樣,現實太不可理喻了。220Please respect copyright.PENANAsvTOuDprHy
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「太多事情要想,在想通之前,又一個問題大浪淹蓋過來。一浪接一浪,我的腦子要壞掉了,已經沒有氣力再想。喔,要是我瘋了便不用再思考,一切不就變得輕鬆了嗎?於是我戴上瘋癲的面具,當個無憂無慮的傻子,無知最快樂。結果,無論怎樣裝瘋賣傻,我始終無法真正發瘋。刻意視而不見置之不理的心結從來沒有消失,甚至早已深入骨髓。
「裝傻已經不能逃避問題,但我一個人不會處理。我只好向你求救,祐嘉,你一定要幫我。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA45erAWLuxL
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祐嘉用力握住智賀的手「我當然會幫你,這是無容置疑的。你只須答應一點,千萬不要做傻事。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAcE999kLjoX
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「我不會像亞里友梨那樣自殺。該說,我沒有那股必死的決心,我還想繼續生存。你覺得我很聳吧……? 」220Please respect copyright.PENANAdFMMNkUDIA
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「我覺得,願意留下來是值得讚頌的勇氣。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAkrQ20n90Yy
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祐嘉又摸摸智賀的頭,她變得不介意了,主動低頭迎合。220Please respect copyright.PENANAUVsjFmHglK
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「我們慢慢來,我一句,你一句,不要著急,時間多的是。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAKbdgcLYayn
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「明白。」智賀點頭。220Please respect copyright.PENANAwO5XXm5Nw8
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「梳理一下現況,你說自己無路可走,那麼,是甚麼東西在追趕你?你想逃避甚麼?」220Please respect copyright.PENANALBlUKlc32n
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「我…我不知道,我無時無刻都很辛苦……好像…好像被捏住脖子不能呼吸的感覺。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAMO7mmKYCyS
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「慢慢來,我們一起找出原因。就由近況開始吧,亞里友梨的事讓你心理不安,對嗎?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAmAWExr0Zr5
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「對。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAUGRAJLuZ1r
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「因為太多未知之數,你覺得生命沒有保障,因而感到不安,是不是?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAVASlp0c7eU
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「是。Hina、大小姐、昌姐、初秋、友梨、亞里,她們都是毫無先兆,突然就消失不見。我很害怕,怕自己就是下一個。祐嘉,說謊騙我也好,說點能夠讓我心裡踏實的話。你總是那麼堅強,大家都不知不覺接受你的帶領。你的說話一定有足夠作為保證的重量,絕對可以帶給我勇氣。」220Please respect copyright.PENANApT8E2cLVZg
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「抱歉,這方面我不能作出任何擔保。我不會說『我們會沒事的。』,『不會再讓任何一個人離去。』之類,因為那是無法兌現的承諾。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAihJjRgbJCl
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「嗚…我明白這是任性,但,我真的不想死。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAM906eVfBKR
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「智賀有甚麼喜歡做的事?」220Please respect copyright.PENANA8vM5Nw15hI
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「吓?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAhqXRQ1PaPr
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祐嘉搖搖手指,「你一句,我一句。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAODX0z58IJl
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智賀頓了一會,人工大腦正努力思索。祐嘉看得出,她不是思考問題,而是揣測問題背後的心意。220Please respect copyright.PENANAukpawQonVb
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「我一時之間想不到。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAq0mdkg6mTl
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「我喜歡教小熊寫字。」祐嘉說,指尖對指尖合十,「原本以為是很沉悶的工作,但智賀時不時就會搗蛋,讓事情變得非常有趣。」
「……」220Please respect copyright.PENANANFFAPKsEdO
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「我喜歡讀小說,尤其是需要分冊出版的超長篇。紅楓和友梨也有相同興趣,跟她們一起討論劇情十分開心。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA1mt4QQu7zU
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「……」220Please respect copyright.PENANAjZNaRiB8bt
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「我喜歡為大家煮飯,見到大家津津有味的食相,心頭充滿暖意。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAhNBXHh0ZlZ
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「……」220Please respect copyright.PENANA6YDobSyuXV
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「我喜歡看安德魯和櫻鬥嘴,她們簡直是歡樂的泉源,望著她們就能把一天的陰霾一掃而空。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAaxhGo07eZH
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「我…我喜歡你們。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAk0eGyxUEQj
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「你喜歡和我們在一起?」220Please respect copyright.PENANArvzzYTIdP5
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「對,一起笑,一起哭,就算是放空發呆,和你們在一起的時光,對我來說都是值得珍惜的瑰寶。你們是我的朋友,真正的朋友。可是,這樣想的話,我和栗子又算甚麼?十年以上的情誼都是我一廂情願的嗎?」220Please respect copyright.PENANACo0Cm3Sdov
220Please respect copyright.PENANAPZrc55Kw9t
「不是你的錯,硬要說的話,原因是智賀太善良。聽說你曾經被小熊嚇到逃跑,但之後你依然願意陪她玩,教她唱歌,給她說故事。這份感情絕對不是單向的,小熊很喜歡你,這一點我絕對可以作出保證。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAbDq2LrP2Rq
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「要我否定和栗子的友誼,等同否定我過往的人生。不行,這樣太殘酷了。要為過去畫上大交叉,這種事我辦不到。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAPoKVeKdnGN
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「智賀聽過上星期四理論嗎?」220Please respect copyright.PENANALvQ4VmHSUA
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「沒…」220Please respect copyright.PENANAfqYUNColHT
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祐嘉隨手拿起一罐能量飲品,「你知道這是甚麼時候生產的嗎?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAz5yDDpjRJn
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「一百年前,大概吧。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAdRnppaAMHa
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「如果我說,這其實是上星期四做出來的,你相信嗎?」220Please respect copyright.PENANA6yPCyttQqs
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「不可能,罐底有雷射標籤證明生產日期。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA1uQSDDa16C
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「標籤日期輕易就能更改,這不能作為決定性的證據。」220Please respect copyright.PENANASbra8vlwDR
220Please respect copyright.PENANANUMhUtWkWt
「罐子很殘舊,灰塵和鏽斑能夠證明罐子放了很久。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAdNqWbzEBbf
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「偽造舊化痕跡也不是甚麼難事吧。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAOc4EBBOPya
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「但我可以肯定,這些能量飲品在上星期四之前便已經在這裡,我的記憶可以做證。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA7MV5zGGMFW
220Please respect copyright.PENANAlHvBToBkNT
「你提出的一切證據,包括記憶都可以是上星期四製造出來的。上星期四理論所表達的是,你無法證明過去曾經發生,因為這個理論不存在『可否證性』,它無法被正常邏輯否定。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA0RbnIFbHlA
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「我頭腦不好,完全沒聽懂。為甚麼現在提到這個?」220Please respect copyright.PENANANFsQx8KqXW
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「我想說,智賀不用把過去看得太重。我們是仿真情人,記憶到底有幾分真幾分假,根本無從稽考。也許,你的認知經過刪減,你知道的並非事實的全部。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA8nLTR15B6T
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「你的意思是,做出那些過份的事的人,可能不是栗子?是我的記憶被調校成這樣?」220Please respect copyright.PENANAkAN6DTiNBu
220Please respect copyright.PENANA5elvpJqguZ
祐嘉聳肩,「不知道,剛剛說了,無從稽考。事實真相為何,我們無法考證,也改變不了甚麼。然而,如何理解這份記憶;對你能產生甚麼影響,以上都是你的一念之差。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAMBtxTfsfRl
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智賀接不上話,祐嘉看得出她在思考,努力在尋找答案。空氣越來越安靜,外面的毛毛雨停下了。
然後,她開口:
「我不知道,我是個笨蛋。不過,也是呢,活在當下,是嗎?」
祐嘉沒有回答,只是兩手一攤。220Please respect copyright.PENANAb3xK7gHL8l
220Please respect copyright.PENANACl3GqsNSSr
「我們沒有過去,也沒有未來,只有現在。深究記憶真偽是無意義的事呢。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAu7JmvI9S4Q
220Please respect copyright.PENANAje0cBD72Th
「找不到答案也無所謂,至少你看到問題了,你可以選擇避開它,以後再感到迷惘也不用怕。即使日子再苦,也不要忽視幸福的存在。」220Please respect copyright.PENANAjgE35myIbI
220Please respect copyright.PENANAlk5ZFNfLci
「謝謝。」智賀擁抱祐嘉,劉海搔得她的臉很癢,「選擇跟你傾訴,真的太好了。」220Please respect copyright.PENANA39JsLwH6yp
220Please respect copyright.PENANAJAxiRu5NuA
燭光,變得更加熾熱。