“Ugh, I have Trevino for English.” Lindsey pulls her mouth into a frown. “I’m going to have so much homework.” She shoves her schedule in her bag and looks at me. “What do you have, Ellie?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQNcPTIzxJ
I look at my schedule. “Physics, with Whitlock.” Science of any kind has never been my strong suit, and I don’t relish the idea of starting senior year with an early morning class that requires sharp mental ability. “I’ll be in the same homework boat as you.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97AALifWZX
“I have English with you,” Romina says, showing Lindsey her schedule. “At least we can suffer together.” The three of us turn and head down the senior hallway. Other seniors stand in groups, chatting about their summer adventures or showing off new haircuts and outfits. I pull my bag closer to my body, wishing I put a little more effort into my appearance today. A simple pink shirt and plain jeans aren’t going to make much of an impression, nor do they scream, “I’m finally a senior!”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnGFjLGUNn
“Oh, there’s Cyrus and Simon,” Romina says, pointing to the end of the hall. Both boys stood there, mirroring our earlier scrutiny of schedules. They look up as we approach, and Cyrus pulls Lindsey into a hug.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnunoYHxYt
“I missed you,” he says, giving her a kiss on her forehead.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslJnHLhju4
“I missed you more.” Lindsey kisses his cheek, getting dangerously close to his mouth.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlmfHhVtwg
“You guys are gross.” Romina sticks her finger in her mouth and pretends to throw up. “Seriously, you saw each other yesterday. It’s not like Cy is heading off into war and you’re his faithful wife, Linds.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMCkFVtZDb
Lindsey smiles, her eyes lighting up. “You just don’t understand what it’s like to be in love, Ro.” She wraps her arms around Cyrus’s waist. “Plus, I’d totally rock at being a war-torn wife. I can bake a mean bread, and Cyrus would get the best letters.” She winks and licks her lips.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfELoUOJxI
I groan. “Must you always be thinking about sex?” Cyrus and Lindsey have been together over a year, and while they are cute most days, sometimes their lovesick language and heart eyes towards each other become nauseating.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxCEFdPw5L
“Who’s thinking about sex? I want bread,” laughs Cyrus. Lindsey rolls her eyes and pulls away from Cyrus to inspect his shirt. She lifts some fuzz from his shoulders and smiles up at him. Nauseating or not, seeing Lindsey happy makes my heart full.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooel53xut5
The warning bell rings, signaling us to head to our first class.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AdcXw8mNJ
“What do you have first?” Simon steps in line with me as I walk down the hall.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBGEq3jrzm
“Physics, with Whitlock.” I glance at him. “Please tell me you have the same.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIPSoni8Om
He nods, pieces of his hair falling into his eyes. “I do, and so does Marcus.” His lips twitch up into a smile, and a slight blush creeps onto his cheeks. Marcus has been Simon’s secret crush for a few months. Well, secret to everyone except our small group of friends.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsqz2sLkyD
“Don’t make me sit through a second love fest today.” We turn the corner and head to the Physics room.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvvMmlnrV8
Simon shrugs. “A love fest is doubtful. Marcus still hasn’t come out officially.” He stops and pivots towards me, frowning. “Ellie, am I being stupid for going after him when he can’t even admit he’s gay? He doesn’t give me the time of day unless it’s just the two of us.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1U86DSa1v
I stop, turning to face him. His pained expression says it all, and I want to make his heartache go away. “No, I don’t think you’re being stupid. You’re in love, that’s all.” I sling my arm over his shoulder and we start walking again. “Love bites, Simon, and if Marcus won’t even acknowledge your existence in public, it’s time to cut him loose.” I snip the air with my free hand.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G1E0v4BY4
“Glad to see you’re not bitter, Ellie.” Simon laughs. “Have you heard from Max, by the way?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzHsn3Xc3J
I drop my arm and bite my lip. “No, there’s no reason I would have.” My mind goes back to the carnival, to the feel of his skin under my hand when I slapped him. “It’s fine.” I bounce back, my face resumes its upbeat expression. "Totally fine.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8hPWbkxbV
“Sure, whatever you say.” We reach Mr. Whitlock’s room and Simon pulls open the door for me. I shuffle through, the pungent smell of baby powder and roses filling my nostrils. Mr. Whitlock, as tough as he is, is known for bringing in all sorts of flowers and for dousing himself in baby powder. I’m not sure why he does it, but whatever floats his boat, I guess. I breathe in the heavenly scent, scanning the room for two empty seats. A back lab table is empty, and I grab Simon’s hand and lead him to it. We drop our bags and plop into the empty seats. I pull out my notebook, ready to start the day.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkgPabxLky
While I’m waiting for Whitlock to begin the lesson, I scan the room for more familiar faces. Marcus is sitting with Felix Murphy, the class president. Marcus is sporting a new fade. There are zigzags leading down from his hairline to his neck. Behind him is Brittani Platt, Tiffani’s best friend and second in command to the Bitch Trifecta, the three-headed monster led by Tiffani. Next to her is Ashli, her twin, and the final head of the monster.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYNoqR4VIg
I tap Simon’s shoulder and point over to the girls. “Bitch Alert,” I say. Simon glances over towards the door and his jaw tenses.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBUodvVuWJ
“If you think that’s bad, then look who just came in.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8QoNkvgXQ
In the doorway stands Max, with his arm around Tiffani. A sinking feeling takes over my body, and the room starts to spin around me. Heat rises to my cheeks and I bite my lip, saying a silent prayer to the karma gods that Max would either not notice I am here or would ignore me entirely.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiEiy5vvjo
“Fucking bitch.” Well, I guess my prayer didn’t work.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2b5cDEKP0
Max eyes me and bounds over to the table, his eyes locked on mine. “You didn’t need to slap me, you bitch.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0svDC2Ylc
“Well, you didn’t really need to dump me, so I guess we’re even.” I break eye contact with him and look at the most interesting tree I can outside the window. Simon’s body tenses next to me.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjspJpPcSnl
Max huffs and slams his hands on the table. “Listen, Eleanor. I did you a favor by even going out with you in the first place.” I’m startled, and I turn to look at him. He leans in close, the minty aroma from his toothpaste wafting into my nostrils. “You would never have been invited to parties or gone to Prom if it wasn’t for me.” His glare penetrates into my body and my heart rate quickens.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwLPQgOsS2
“Yes, she would have,” Simon butts in. “I would have taken her.” Simon leans in so he’s inches away from Max. “She probably would have had a better time, too.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvxrjZkOrp
Smirking, Max looks at Simon. “Right. A better time with you. That’s a laugh.” Max guffaws, his shoulders shaking. “What, would you guys check out the boys together? Do you give her advice on how to pick up men, Simon? Or do you compare notes on who’s cuter?” Max winks, and flounces his wrist.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlM9GykPBBF
I push back my chair and stand up. “Shut up, Max.” By now, the rest of the class is watching us.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVcpEZQUkc
“What, are you going to slap me again?” Max leans back and howls. “Man, Ellie, you sure are tough. I bet you’re awfully feisty in bed too. Maybe I should have stayed with you. Found out, let ol’ Simone here know so he can at least have a good fuck before finding some poor homo to bang.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxGj0MGMSp
I am a volcano and my anger erupts out of me. I rear back, clench my hand into a tight fist, and swing it towards Max. It connects easily with his nose. I feel a crack and pain radiates up my arm. Max’s eyes widen and his hands shoot to his nose, which is now gushing blood. Simon bursts to his feet and pulls me away from the table, but the damage is done.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBOAsJz8iK
“What the fuck, Ellie? You bitch!”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMrQs02QyA
“God, Max, learn some new insults, please,” I say. I’m shaking, and my hand is throbbing. Tiffani runs over, her hair swinging back and forth.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcY7KrNIcm
“You whore, what did Max even do to you?” Her eyes shoot daggers at me.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN03iwmEgNA
“Tiffani, there is literally no way I can be a whore and a virgin.” I shake out my hand. “Which is it?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HG5Hnmx7M
“ELEANOR WHITTIER.” Mr. Whitlock’s voice causes me to jump. Everyone in the class whips around to the front of the room, where Whitlock is standing. His hands are on his hips, and his face, aged with time and unruly teenagers, is rigid and cold.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYVp68k8yi
“Mr. Whitlock, Eleanor has lost her mind!” Tiffani practically falls to the floor. “She punched Max for no reason!”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6MB6H6as1
“He was insulting Simon, Mr. Whitlock!” I look at Simon. The color has drained from his face and he has his fingers pinched on his own nose, as if he is the one who was punched, not Max.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPYTlPDcDB
“Tiffani, please take Max down to the nurse.” Tiffani pulls Max away, muttering about psychopaths and bitches.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2KcQ3BqS5
Mr. Whitlock clears his throat. “Eleanor, I expected better behavior out of you. Go to the office.” He points to the door. “Now.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8chDxAaRa
“But Mr. Whitlock-”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDMpztTmmG
“NOW Eleanor. You know you can’t be fighting in here. God, paperwork on the first day.” He rubs his temples.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yobgyQOPO
“Mr. Whitlock! Max was saying horrible things about Simon! He-”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyQg7YIVRH
“Eleanor, NOW.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwE9vHQNM9
I look around the room. Every single person is staring at me, eyes wide. In the twelve years they’ve known me, I’ve never acted like this. Quiet, calm Ellie would never punch anyone, let alone talk back to a teacher.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLadjoyh8mi
Deflated, I grab my bag and notebook.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtnHtk72Cq
“Sorry, Simon.” I rush out the door and down the hall to the dean’s office, replaying the scene over in my mind. The injustice of it all burns through me and I fight the urge to run back and give one more punch to Max.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlytmthUzs
I can’t believe I dated him. The scumbag.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEO3dgLCmB8
The fire is still burning inside me when I enter the dean’s office. Mrs. Valmour, the secretary eyes me up and down. I feel my insides turn to mush as I step closer to her desk.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHutNoOiYD
“Hi,” I manage. “I got kicked out of class.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbucSAI89ej
Mrs. Valmour peers over her glasses at me. “And what did you do to get kicked out?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPh7oKpKso
“I punched Max Stockwell in the nose.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDedKk21h7J
Mrs. Valmour blinks. If she is at all shocked by my announcement, she doesn’t show it. “Have a seat.” She points to the chairs across from her desk. “Mr. Lamontagne will be with you shortly.” She rises from her chair and goes to the office behind her, sticking her head in. “We have a puncher, sir.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkktGrMqBxS
I sit and look around the office. I never thought I’d set foot inside here, let alone on the first day of senior year. I’d always been the good girl, and the office is the last place I’d ever be. It’s brightly lit with cheesy motivational posters plastered everywhere. A unicorn on a therapist’s couch tells me to believe in myself. A kitten hanging onto a rope tells me to keep hanging in there. Dainty flowers tell me I’m important, and a mountain tells me I’m tough.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgbLWBezOb
Do they have any posters that can help me out of the mess I’ve made today?
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOizGfNDQT
“You can go in now,” Mrs. Valmour says. She doesn’t look at me as I cross the room to Mr. Lamontagne’s office. He’s sitting at his desk, the phone receiver against his ear. He nods at whatever the person he’s talking to says and meets my gaze. He motions me forward and points to the chair in front of his desk. I quickly take my seat, swallowing the lump that has formed in my throat.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwDsgTxRQ1
“Right, thank you Mr. Whitlock. I’ll be sure to deal with it.” He hangs up the phone and looks at me. “So, Eleanor. First offender?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHIsMcVz32
I nod.The air feels dry, suffocating. I wonder if I’d be allowed water.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEeIu3zK1q
“From what Mr. Whitlock tells me, you punched a classmate?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8e187Ac5fN
I nod again. “I’m sorry I punched Max, Mr. Lamontagne. Well, not really, he had it coming, sir. You see-”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTM53ZS3W3S
Mr. Lamontagne holds up his hand. “You know fighting is against the rules.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidwLhGUyGa
I nod for a third time. “Yes, I understand that, sir. But please, if you’d just let me explain. Max was saying awful things about my friend, Simon. And me. I didn’t want him to keep doing it.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjldAEvN7O
“What was he saying?” His eyes meet mine. They’re a soft green, friendly almost.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWcSK70Gh3
“He was making cruel jokes about Simon being gay, and sexual jokes about me. He even called Simon ‘Simone’.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDWpIeoi9L
Mr. Lamontagne draws in a deep breath. “And you think punching him was the best solution to this?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ykQzNKdcM
“In the moment, yes. I wanted him to stop. I probably could have dealt with it better, but he just made me so mad.” My hands find each other and grip tightly. “He’d already been awful when he dumped me last Saturday, and he was just laying it on today.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd0wfJrjsS
“So you’re upset with him because he dumped you? Does that have any impact on why you punched him?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRnNIFLk36
“No!” I look up. “Not at all. I mean, I wasn’t thrilled with having to see him in class, but I was okay. I punched him simply because he was being an ass.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrCiAnVrsW
Mr. Lamontagne nods, ignoring my curse. “Right. Listen, I understand you’re upset, I understand you feel you were standing up for your friend. I feel for your situation, Eleanor. Unfortunately, unless your classmates come forward and back up your story, I can’t do anything about Max.” He looks at me and frowns. “Do you know what the typical consequence for fighting is, Eleanor?”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dKuOoVguu
I gulp. I am going to be suspended, which would absolutely screw up my chances for getting into college. Max, why do you have to be such a jerk?
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkp48P3ya5q
“The typical consequence for fighting is a minimum of three days out of school suspension, with a meeting between me, your parents, you, and your guidance counselor.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYhemWWcms
I squeak. My parents are likely to kill me as it stands, and they would not be thrilled with having to meet with Mr. Lamontagne.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo2CJf9oaS
“But, seeing as this is your first offense, I’m willing to look the other way and not suspend you. We’re looking at new discipline procedures, anyway. I’m giving you a warning, Eleanor. You cannot go around punching others simply because they make you mad.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkf35BqSn6
I exhale the breath I am holding. “Thank you sir. It won’t happen again.” I start to stand.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVlTjRBBQ5
“Hold on, Eleanor. One more thing. I am going to recommend that you see Mrs. Wallace for an evaluation.” He glances at the clock on the wall. “This is an important year, and judging by your transcript, you’re heading towards a great college. Emotions and boys can easily take you down if you don’t effectively deal with those. I’ll have her reach out to you to schedule your first session so this doesn’t happen again.” He leans back in his chair and smiles. “Now, go to class, keep your head in your books, and try to keep your fists off people’s noses, please.”
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7ANNJ3HNU
The already stale air feels dryer. Mrs. Wallace is the in-house psychologist. She usually deals with students who have severe issues and grief, not angry girls who punch their ex-boyfriends on the first day of school.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxU1G4cHgBx
“You can go, Eleanor.” Mr. Lamontagne motions for me to stand and exit.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPmqMVgbQs
“Thank you, sir.” I leave his office and close my eyes. I escaped a suspension, so I should feel grateful, but I don’t. I didn’t want to sit and talk with a stranger about my life, let alone about Max.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjckC97L0is
“Have a good day!” Mrs. Valmour says. A robot shows more compassion than she does. I nod and leave the office, the door slamming against me as I emerge into the hall.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qB7gp7NSY
A good day, my ass.
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ftue3GLci
