Metal bars and a see through titanium glass wall, ten inches thick. Sound proof, Heat proof and shatter proof. These where the precautions in place to stop me reaching over and strangling the person on the other side of the table.
But I wouldn't do that.
I needed to know why first.
I knew it was him.
But he won't tell me why.
He picked up the phone on his side of the table and waited. Then he smiled his strong jaw softening sending gentle wrinkles across his freckled sandy coloured skin. He had always being the handsome one. He raised his hand and motioned to the phone on my side of the glass. I looked into his eyes.
...his dark green eyes...
I picked my phone
"How you doing Kiz?"
"..."
"You settling in?"
"..." I don't know why I came to see him
"Please Kiz."
"..." Every time the visitor alarm went off I told myself no.
"I just want to know you’re ok."
"..." I would stand arms crossed and resolve hardened to a stony finish, but when I heard his name called over the speakers my resolve which I felt to be the strength of steel would vanish into thin air. My arms would drop and I would find my feet walking over to the line forming at the door to the visitors unit.
"Kiz I need to know you’re ok"
"So you can feel less guilty"
“What?" I looked into his face. It was so confused, like he had no idea what I meant.
How dare he.
How dare he pretend to not know?
“I said so you can feel less guilty!" I shouted raising slightly out of my chair, I felt the anger rise dark and hot in my head and spread through my body. My vision darkened into a red glare while my spotted hands tingled.
The monsters that where standing behind me stepped forward. I expected to feel hands grab me from behind, drag me to my room, throw me in and look the door. But he stood up and waved his own hands fanatically at the monsters, mouthing with earnest that it was fine. They stepped back and we sat down.
"Kiz... I didn't do this."
“Yes you did."
"No Kiz I didn't."
“Then who did, you’re the only one that could have worked it out.”
“I don't know. But I would never have put you somewhere where I could only see you once a week."
“I don't believe you.”
“Please Kiz."
“I don't deserve to be here"
"Kiz... Kiz you’re sick, whether I put you here or not you are sick.”
“Shut up! That's just what they've told you."
“Kiz I just want you to get better so you can come home"
“No one comes home...you know that"
" ..." It was his turn to be silent
“I know you reported me"
"Kiz I..."
"Can't you just tell me why?"
“I swear Kiz I didn't report you"
"I want you to go now"
“Kiz you need to listen"
"I want you to go now!" I shouted again. The dark anger returned and my vision went red. Two outbursts was one to many for the monsters, they dragged me away from the table and out of the unit. Then they stood me up and pushed me down the various corridors that lead to the dorms. They threw me into my room, locking the door.
I hated him so much, more than the monsters, more than Sadie, more than the fact I was trapped in this place. I hated him so much that it hurt to look into his face"
I had to get out...
I raised my hands and glared at them. The dots that speckled them now darker than ever. I had long since stopped trying to remove them, like I said I had got use to them. And all trying to free myself of these dots did was leave me bone sore, in pain and in the end I had to endure the hope sucking event of watching the dots grow back within seconds front of my eyes.
"Kiz... Kiz you’re sick, whether I put you here or not you are sick.”
Everyone had told me I was sick, that the marks where a curse and they were something to be cured. But I felt fine, no different than I felt one year or ten years before. If anything I felt better
…stronger…
I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. In what way was keeping me trapped here helping, I saw the life slowly drain out of the people trapped around me every day. Their eyes got a little greyer and their skin slowly paler. Being here wasn’t helping anyone, it was killing us.
ns 15.158.61.51da2
