"It's such a short notice," Lotus sighed out to her phone that was laying on her desk as she peered at her hanging shirts and dresses.
"Yeah, but it's only a small event. You don't have to look fancy," Her friend commented.
She puffed out her cheeks, sliding a hanger out of the way. "But I have to look nice! I don't know why my mom is forcing me to go knowing I don't like things like this. Anyway, should I wear a skirt or a dress?" She questioned.
Her friend on the other line let out a long hum of thought.
Her friend, she met online and of which she endearingly called Haneul, supposedly lived in Gwangju. They had video chatted many times before and had become familiar with each other. But they had yet to meet up because Haneul was busy with school.
Her parents were strict with her grades and when school was on break, she would spend it studying or at her grandparents. Despite not meeting in real life, they still held a strong friendship. They were similar in certain ways and knew how to relate to one another.
"If you want to look good, go for a dress." She stated, "Count to three while you choose because I just know you're going to be indecisive."
Lotus pouted and did as told. She grabbed the dress her hand stopped on, admiring it on the hanger. The dress was one she had yet to wear. It was gifted to her by her grandparents who knew her taste all too well.
It wasn't very long, but not too short. The light peach of the fabric was nice on the eyes as well as soft. The lace that covered the chest area and made its home above the skirt didn't feel like it was easy to get itchy in. To put it short, it was a beautiful dress. Her grandparents would be so happy if they saw her in it.
"Thank you, Haneul!~" She chirped.
"Make sure to take pictures at the event and send them to me!" Haneul exclaimed as Lotus began to put it on.
"Yeah, yeah." Lotus droned.
She flattened the dress after she fully got it on. She moved in front of her vanity mirror, looking at it the best she could. It looked nice, however, it was snug and made her a little self-conscious.
Her eyes peeked at her thighs as she pouted some more. It was a reminder of why she wore stockings in the first place. They were a tad too big for her. It was just a reminder of the past.
"Are you checking yourself out? You've got dead quiet."
"Uh, yes." Lotus laughed it off.
She continued to smooth down the wrinkles over her abdomen, "The dress is just so pretty."
Haneul giggled, "I think all of your clothes are pretty! Not really my preferable taste, but still! You should do 'what's in my closet' videos. You'd probably get so many views."
Lotus flushed, snapping her head towards her phone, "I don't want a lot of views if I ever do that. So many people would know me and... Imagine what going into public would be like if you so happen to stumble across a fan. I don't think I can survive the anxiety of talking to anyone so suddenly like that."
"You can always blur your face."
"Good point," She replied, relaxing, "How about you do one of those videos? Your closet is cute, too! You match so well, it'll be a shame if you didn't."
"You're right! Maybe I should do one. If people like those silent vlogs, they'll like my videos!" Haneul cheered.
Lotus softly smiled at the girl's excitement. Haneul was always so cheerful and rarely ever seemed down. There very much were times she would let it all out to Lotus, but she always never ceased to make the air lighter.
"Lotus, are you almost done?" Lotus could faintly hear her father call out to her.
"I need to hurry up. I think we're going to be leaving soon," She announced, crestfallen as she approached her phone.
"Awe, that sucks."
Lotus hummed in response as she picked up the phone, the screen turning on at the movement.
Haneul decided to be a tease and sang out, "Be sure not to run into any delinquents, In-na!~ We don't want to get nightmares again do we?"
"Haneul," Lotus whined, looked at the phone in defeat, knowing the girl couldn't see her.
The girl on the phone laughed, "I don't even know how a person can scare someone like that so easily. In-na, just be safe. Okay?"
"I will."
"Good, now have a good time. Bye!"
"Bye," Lotus replied before ending the call.
She sat on her bed in silence. That call reminded her of something. She may have talked to that tall guy but she never got his name or the name of the blond one. However, that one with glasses has her name.
'I don't know if I'm stupid or stupid.' She cried out in her mind before she sighed and slipped her pantyhose on.
She glanced at the mirror as she turned a little. Her pantyhose hugged her legs, making them look just a bit smaller. They didn't look as small as she'd like, but at least they did something. Her brows furrowed as she turned away.
Oh yeah, she was very stupid. Delinquents knew delinquents, be it by fighting or by connections. Or that's how she thought, she barely knew a thing about problem children. Hell, she could barely understand Chance.
But it still stood, they probably had to have known those girls. If they told anything about her when and if that boy mentioned her name, she would figuratively die. Dread filled her system as she thought about the things they could tell.
Did she even want to show her face anymore? Not at the moment. She cursed her mind for bringing up these assumptions at a time where she was going to be at an event full of students in a dress that showed herself off. Now the dress didn't seem appealing to her.
'Sorry Haneul, but I can't do this.' She mentally apologized to her friend and went over to grab something that was less snug and covered her more so she could feel more protected.
She stopped once she heard a knock on her door before it opened. Paz peeked into her room with his dull looking face.
"It's time to go," He announced.
"Right... I'm coming," She said as she recklessly grabbed her jacket before leaving.
Her stomach flipped as she followed her little brother to the car. While her brothers argued, she rapidly tapped her foot.
"We all know he's not getting a damn thing. I don't see why I have to go," Jeongsoo complained.
"Watch your language," Their mother snapped.
"Why do we all have to go though? This is so embarrassing," Jin scoffed, crossing his arms, his elbow almost jabbing Chance's side.
The troublesome boy just sat in silence, glaring at the floor. He looked even meaner than he usually did. While everyone was in normal clothing, he was dressed in his uniform, however, he was forced to wear it correctly for once. Though, she knew it wasn't just that which caused him to be so angry.
"You can stay in the car then," Their father told Jin who huffed in response.
"I don't see why you don't want to support Chance." Their mom commented.
Jeongsoo and Jin shared a look before glancing towards Chance then back to each other. They didn't exchange any words but knew the answer. Chance was just a very unwelcoming person.
Lotus stared past Paz who sat by the window. The boy was smaller than her so it made no sense why he couldn't be in the middle, but she did get in before him so it was only fair.
Having a big family wasn't so easy. Usually, people would stop at two or at least four children. Her parents? They wanted three kids but there comes a time where being horny little shits was biting off more than you can chew.
Their mother had always told them that despite being a little over the amount she wanted, she loved them all. But the best gift that could be given to her was sterilization. Lotus had to agree with her. Any more kids and it would be a straight-up nightmare for everyone.
Her brothers were great, aside from Chance, but they're all she needed for siblings. She felt just fine with them. Although, they were always rowdy and sometimes inconsiderate.
This was one of the times that they were rowdy. They rarely went out with everyone together. Chance would always be doing who knows what, Jeongsoo would be too busy with his friends and the others just didn't feel like doing "family time". Lotus would also stay home unless forced to leave.
So when they were together like this, pushing against each other, there was bound to be fighting. But all it took was one sharp look from their mom shut them up.
The rest of the ride went smoothly, though the conversations overlapped each other. Her parents were busy talking as were Jin and Jeongsoo. Cole would occasionally start talking on the top of his lungs as well.
The moment they got out of the car, however, they were behaved and stuck together as they entered the event. If they didn't behave, they knew they would face the consequences.
The event was quick and boring. Lotus had refrained from playing her game to cure the boredom during it. Though, it wouldn't have been a bad idea. All this event was for was to raise funds for school supplies so it wasn't so exciting in the first place.
"I'm going to the car," She told her father as the event began to end.
All he did was give her a nod, turning back to talk to Jin who kept whining about having to find Chance before it fully ended. The corners of her lips twitched upwards as she eagerly made her way out of the room. If she had asked her mother, the woman would have probably scolded her. It was a good thing she decided to ask him instead.
She tugged her jacket closer to her as she stopped in the vacant hall and turned her phone on. Haneul did say she wanted pictures of her outfit and the pictures that were taken so far were from her mother. She didn't trust those very much and she had her jacket on which covered her dress too much.
Without a sound, she shrugged her jacket off and set her phone on the floor, angling up to catch her full body. She wasn't wearing the shoes she paired with the outfit, but the whole thing still looked cute. With the jacket draped around one arm, she posed slightly with a small smile as the flash on her phone went off.
When it was done, she excitedly jumped towards her phone to review the picture. It didn't need to be perfect since it was just going to Haneul. The girl saw all her terrible angles on video chat anyway.
"Were you taking a picture?" A boy asked her as he walked down the hall.
The insides of her body felt like they were shocked and she almost dropped her phone. Her grip around it tightened as she looked over to the newcomer.
"Oh, wait, you're Chance's sister. Hey there!" The boy exclaimed, waving at her.
As the boy got closer, she finally saw who it was. The boy who she frequently saw with Chance. Kenny Ji, that was the one she hadn't talked to since that day.
"I was," She bashfully admitted, "Uh... Um... I forgot to thank you for comforting me when I broke my phone."
"It's fine." He waved it off.
Lotus heaved a soft sigh, before turning to look down the hall. Her face dropped as she looked to the other side. Where did she come from again?
"Can you, um, help me find the exit?" She muttered.
"Sure, I can." He answered, gesturing for her to follow with his head as he turned back to walk the way he came from.
She followed after him with timorous steps, keep a distance behind him. He must've felt her nervousness as he glanced over his shoulder.
He broke the silence, "By the way, you look nice!"
Lotus began to fidget with the edge of her skirt. Her eyes looked to the floor, to the side, to the ceiling but never to his body.
"Thank you," She said, it almost coming out in a squeak.
This only evoked a laugh from the older boy. "You're too cute, Jake would love you," He commented.
"Huh?" She hummed.
"Jake's my brother. He's around your age," Kenny commented, "I think you'd both get along well. Though he's a huge nerd for manga, he's pretty chill. You should join me and Chance when we go to play soccer. He comes along sometimes."
"He sounds nice," Lotus replied.
It did sound appealing to her. Someone around her age that read manga? She wasn't a big manga reader but it would be nice to share her interest with someone in her real-life rather than online.
She was tempted to see if he fit Kenny's description, but she knew Chance would have her head for squeezing her way into his life by getting friendly with Kenny or even Kenny's brother. The last time she went along with Chance was only a few years ago because her parents didn't want her to be home alone while they and the rest of her siblings went to visit their aunt, leaving her and Chance by themselves.
He made her cry because he couldn't join his friends when they were smoking since, in his words, she would snitch. This was all before her parents gave up on him and were just getting more strict.
Then he made her cry the second time that day because he wanted to leave her on a bench to go somewhere with them and she was scared to be left alone. It was not a good time on both sides.
"He is nice," Kenny said.
As they came upon the exit, they were met with some boys messing around. She couldn't miss the short buzz cut she saw every day among them. Chance was kicking a ball around before kicking it right into the knee of one of the others.
The boy he hit gave a cackle before aiming it to hit between his legs. He barely dodged it which left the ball to hit his hip instead.
"Chance," Kenny called out, "Found your sister!"
Her brother looked towards her and huffed, kicking the ball away from him before approaching.
"You know he talks about you a lot," Kenny teased as Chance got closer.
"Shut the fuck up," Chance snapped, overhearing him.
Kenny awkwardly laughed as he continued, "Though, it's usually to say how annoying you are. I don't see it."
"You'll see it if you're always around her," Chance dismissed as he glared down at her, "I thought you left already."
Kenny set an arm around her shoulder and gave him a snicker, "She was lost. Give her a break."
That was partially true. She didn't think she was lost when she stopped to take her picture. But she would like that Kenny didn't mention she was taking pictures to him.
"Whatever," Chance grumbled out to him before directing his words to her, "Come on, we're leaving now."
She slipped from Kenny's arm and followed Chance who left without telling his friend goodbye. She felt bad for ruining his mood. He always got like this and not even she knew why. It wasn't like she ever did anything to him.
"See you!" Kenny called out to them.
Chance only saluted him, letting Lotus change back into her shoes before they both fully left.
Chance got in the car before her, not thinking to leave her enough room, so she had to squeeze beside him. The only good part was that she got the window seat this time.
"What took you so long?" Her father questioned.
Lotus shrugged as an answer. Personally, she didn't think she took a long time. She was surprised they were already in the car before her since she left first.
She summed it up to her parents' parental magic and laid her head against the glass of the window as they began driving. The event had exhausted her enough that her body finally relaxing was calling for her to sleep then and there. Even if she wanted to sleep, she couldn't with Chance's knee digging into her leg.
He just refused to close his legs to give room to anyone next to him as he scrolled on his phone. She looked towards him just as his frown deepened and he looked up at her.
"What did you do with Kenny?" He asked in a low tone so the rest of the family didn't hear.
"What? Why?" She whimpered at his sudden aggression.
"He wants me to give you his brother's number, stupid." He spat before looking back to his phone, "But his dumbass can do it himself."
She almost went back to listening to the car against the asphalt road if only Chance didn't grumble to her, "Keep your bum headass away from my life."
And now she couldn't be at ease. Not with his glower.
One would think older brothers would care for and protect their younger sisters. That wasn't the case with Lotus and her brothers. Not even when they attended the same co-ed school did they do so.
Chance was always like this. He would either ignore her or add to her stress. It was always a chore to get along with him. Most of the time he didn't even want to be around her.
Yet through everything he's done and said she still doesn't hate him. She couldn't help but feel helpless when it came to him.
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