男人的掌心貼著自個兒臉蛋,本來還是涼的,現下倏地燙了起來。
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「還好,不涼。」那雙灰眸泛著笑意,以前還能不在意,現在直勾勾地面對那雙眼,她幾乎忘記怎麼說話、怎麼笑了,更遑論幾乎僵硬的四肢。
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「我、我不冷!」她似乎退化到只會說這三個字,正努力想從腦中擠點別的字眼,卻被那雙灰眸瞧得找不到北。
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方才就應堅持遮著自己才是。
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修長的指尖持著鐵夾,從一旁的炭爐夾了幾塊炭,放入泛著紅光的泥爐中,道:「此時尚寒,還是多留意些罷⋯⋯咳。」察覺失態,他以袖輕掩,隨即一哂。
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「那楚先生呢?怎麼還受風寒了?」提起這事,她可有帳要算。她才沒忘記早先是誰咳得幾乎出血,甚至驚擾了院外的她。
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「讓妳擔心了,是我不對。」趕緊道歉,他微微笑著,有人擔心他,真好。
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憶起那日臥於雪中,耳畔低語那麼急切,化在心上卻那麼輕柔,她的小手溫溫的,貼在他的額上,成了隆冬時分僅存的暖意⋯⋯但,唯一讓他難受的不是寒冰刺骨,而是臉上的點點寒意。
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她竭力克制哽咽,卻因呼吸而露餡,他想抬手替她拭淚卻做不到⋯⋯低沉了些時日也總算明白她的倔將與溫柔,也體會了這茫茫世間,有個小小的、溫溫柔柔的人擔心著他。
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「楚先生若是真怕我擔心,就不應總想著犧牲誰。」聲音又小又悶,她抬頭看向他,眼神篤定卻面露著哀戚。
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男人沈默不語,反倒是泥爐裡的炭火劈啪響著。
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「你總想著犧牲自己,是嗎?」甜美的嗓音說著這句話,彷彿死刑前的恩典,聲音又輕又柔,卻字字如刀。
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「⋯⋯。」
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「逼我學著犧牲,是為了提前習慣⋯⋯你的離去嗎?」
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「少主,這炭⋯⋯是不是有些多了?」
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「先生怕冷。」她趕緊將手裡的炭一股腦兒全倒進儲放黑炭的鐵籃裡,動作俐落不拖泥帶水,尋常女孩子連個鐵籃都快要提不起來,她卻是一派輕鬆的模樣,只是那神情有些緊張,時不時瞄著窗裡的動靜⋯⋯彷彿屋裡有什麼猛獸似的。
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趁著夜幕降臨前,她急忙送來夜裡取暖用的炭火,唯恐來得晚了。
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見那桶裡滿滿的炭火塊,全是上品,燃著無煙,灰燼甚少,對身體亦無害,她瞧著滿意了些,道:「那我先走了,勞煩你多關照先生。」語畢,抬腳就轉出了院門。
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那小廝連忙出門送她,只見少主居然一路狂奔,沒一會兒就不見蹤影。
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自從少主回到空桑後,就異樣非常,他也是見怪不怪了,說到怪異,院裡那位也是⋯⋯哎,空桑的人一個比一個怪,他搔搔頭,走回院裡收拾一番後向著院裡道:「楚先生,一切安排妥當,若無事,小的先回了。」
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不見回應,那小廝不過聳聳肩,接著向屋內深深一揖,隨即關上院門離去。
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屋內,那泥爐中的炭火熄滅許久,泥爐的主人早已不見蹤影。
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「呼⋯⋯!」少女一路狂奔,直至一處林子方歇下腳步,她靠著一旁大石喘了許久,期間不忘回頭確認身後⋯⋯還好,沒有猛虎。
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說楚先生是猛虎有些過了,斯斯文文、和和氣氣的,氣質溫潤如玉,他的手又大又暖,懷抱溫暖得令人沈淪⋯⋯他的唇⋯⋯想到那日光景,臉上又紅又燙。
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她以為那樣的控訴會換來他的否認,哪知他全認下了⋯⋯她一面覺得心疼,一面又希望他否認⋯⋯他承認就坐實了,他的確抱著那樣的心思。
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聰穎如他,又怎會以為犧牲他,她能安然?
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『楚先生不該對自己這麼狠⋯⋯算計我沒關係,但怎有人把自己也算進去?』說到這兒已是泫然欲泣,淚花在眼筐裡打轉,她拼了命才能止住聲,但緊咬著下唇的樣子,早讓他丟盔卸甲。
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『我很抱歉⋯⋯小伊、小伊,別哭。』他捧著她的臉,看著那雙明媚又靈氣的眼不停地滾出淚珠,心中萬分後悔,只能不停地安慰著,一邊輕聲哄她,哪知她只是越哭越大聲⋯⋯。
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『小伊,是我錯了!』那張小小的臉蛋全是淚水,再怎麼拭去仍是流個不停,他焦急地哄著她,見她尚無打住的意思,他輕嘆一聲,湊近道:『不論妳怎麼罰我,我都甘願⋯⋯但我捨不得妳哭。』
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想到這兒,她真想扶額,一開始就特別在意形象,疏於打理都沒敢見楚先生,哪知不但被人抱了滿懷,還在那人懷裡哭到抽泣⋯⋯要是再哭久一些,她估計都能枕著胸膛睡了⋯⋯好險沒有,雖然那腫得像金魚的雙眼仍是被他瞧了去。
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哎。仰天長嘆一聲,她就是心疼了嘛⋯⋯想到楚先生聰明一世,竟連其中關鍵都未察覺。她都敢隨他入爐了,怎麼還能忍心看著他犧牲自己?
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瞧著這夜色,初春的夜晚還涼著,不知道他有沒有好好注意保暖?炭火應該足了,但那窗紙若是太薄就得換,那床被應該夠暖吧⋯⋯。
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「小伊。」一聲叫喚打斷了她的思緒,只見那人站在月色下,笑得溫柔極了。
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「!!!」呆了半晌,猛虎還真來了⋯⋯噢不,是楚先生。
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「瞧妳站那兒許久,夜裡寒,我只好過來了。」
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「你、你瞧多久了?」方才自言自語該不會都被⋯⋯?
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卻見他笑而不語,只是朝她伸出手,待她一愣一愣地把手放進他的掌心時,笑著道:「從你一出院門時⋯⋯總不能讓妳在這夜裡獨自走著。」
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「咦——!」他果然聽見了嗎!?
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還有她紅著臉、對著天無聲吶喊的動作也⋯⋯被他瞧見了嗎?
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被他牽著走回院落,一路無語。似乎也不必說太多,相伴足矣。
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「抱著你比較暖和。」坐在院內,燃起火苗,他摟著她道。
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她緩了一陣才找回話語,羞道:「楚先生⋯⋯山河迷陣不是這樣用的吧⋯⋯。」
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「想著妳近日甚忙,也不便多擾,僅僅是想陪妳走這一段路,但又怕妳侷促。」語畢,男人對她溫柔一笑。
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哪有人這樣悶不吭聲就把她放進山河迷陣裡,而且場景太過真實,要不是他出現,估計她完全沒察覺⋯⋯她一出院落,便進了他的陣法裡,直到她走過那段夜路⋯⋯直到進了空桑最安全的地方⋯⋯直到松鼠、鵠羹等人能夠照看的範圍,才解除迷陣。
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想起這幾日來都是東西一放就趕緊走人,羞於見他,他卻處處替她著想,擔心她侷促、擔心她的安危、擔心她受寒⋯⋯似乎這人總是這樣,把她放得太高,卻把自己放得極低,心中漾起一股酸楚。
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小手揪住他的袖口,她輕輕往他靠去,輕聲道:「楚先生這樣處處替我著想,我卻無以回報。」
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「無論何事,只要與你一起,皆是賞心樂事。」他要求不多,不過陪伴罷了。
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「少主!」「快來!這兒的溪水好涼!」「楚哥哥!這邊!」
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一群孩子站在溪前向他倆揮著手。
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春暖時分,恰逢踏青社出遊,她帶著幾個小蘿蔔頭一起到後山遊玩,同行的還有楚逸。
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「少主動作真慢!」
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「小葫蘆,你們先玩吧!」
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「小伊,不必顧慮我,且去同孩子遊玩才是。」
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她輕輕扯住楚逸的袖子,道:「楚先生,我答應過你,要帶你來看看那片桃花林的⋯⋯。」
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楚逸心中一暖,反手握住了那隻軟嫩小手,輕笑道:「那就勞煩妳了。」
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她朝遠處撇了一眼,還好⋯⋯孩子們都在認真玩水,沒人看向這兒⋯⋯前些日子捅破了窗紙,兩人的關係進展迅速,但還是別讓這群熊孩子瞧見吧⋯⋯她也是要臉皮的。
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她又瞄了眼身邊的男人,卻與那雙灰眸的視線相撞,彷彿早就瞧著她已久⋯⋯他道:「需要山河迷陣嗎?」語氣正經又平常,像談論天氣那般。
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「不、不用了吧!」她慌得像是小祕密被人發現的孩子,緊接著道:「要、要迷陣⋯⋯幹嘛!」
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說得好像要做什麼壞事似的!
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男人輕笑,大手牽小手,帶著她往那片桃林走去,一邊道:「小伊若覺得有迷陣自在些,在下可代勞。」
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「不必!」她羞得只能捂住臉⋯⋯誰要那個東西,沒事弄什麼山河迷陣!
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一路行至桃林,伊人立於桃樹下,他才發覺,從寒冬就期待的春日桃花之景,怎麼都比不上眼前人,朵朵桃花相爭艷,最美的那朵不爭⋯⋯卻艷極。
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春風吹撫,裙擺蕩漾,她抬手勾著髮絲的模樣都能觸動他。
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展臂一伸,輕輕地就把她攬入懷中。
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「去年深冬,若是無妳那封信,我不曾想過有日能博覽群山、遨遊天下,細賞桃花夏荷、秋風冬雪,如今更可仔細瞧妳⋯⋯」
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那無數的黑夜,他只能寄望那張信紙上的每字每句,每一筆、每一畫都烙印在心頭,想著她說這句話的表情、口氣,是他每回讀信時都會做的事。
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她就是這樣美好⋯⋯好到他幾乎想把她佔為己有,從此再不分離。
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「小伊,那張信紙上的字,可說與我聽?」
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「⋯⋯。」她的臉迅速發紅,太羞人了!
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他俯首埋向她的頸窩,語帶撒嬌道:「我日日夜夜讀著妳的信,卻從未聽妳親口說過⋯⋯。」
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帶著暖意的微風撫過,揚起了兩人衣袖,地上的影子融成一塊,飄落的花瓣替這畫面增添了不少詩意⋯⋯
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「天晴一同出遊,細雨廊下對弈。」她靠在他的胸膛,極其小聲道。語畢,擁著她的臂膀似乎更加用力了些。
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一張薄紙,僅兩行字句,卻勾勒出一幅美好景象,是期望,也是願景,當中有他、與她。
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