After he had met Leon his college life was wrapping up, how he had managed to pass everything Shen didn’t know, but he had and would be applying for places at universities across the UK.
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During this time his mum and dad were living together again, in Shen’s selfish mind it was sickening to see them all over each other, they had fallen in love again. His father brought his mother flowers, he kissed her at every opportunity and they had sex so loudly that even he could hear them on a different floor. His father often came to his room to hang out, gave him £10 notes and always attempted to hug him or kiss his head. Shen just flinched away, he couldn’t bear any sort of affection from his father at all. His mother he grew to hate too, for the simply reason she took his dad back, it was her choice. Shen felt utterly betrayed by his mum.
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Shen’s level of hatred towards his parents got so bad it influenced his choice of University. Instead of going to a local Uni in his own town and living at home (this had been his plan when he was at secondary school), he decided to get as far away from them as possible.
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So he chose a University in a large city, a notorious party place, at the time it sounded like the perfect place to hide from everything that was happening at home. Their large expensive house was sold at auction, it paid all the debt and missed mortgage payments, it also bought a very small three bedroomed house in a crappy area. Shen was a snob, he was too privileged to realise that a home is a home, regardless of its size or worth. He complained and moaned all the time about the size of his room, that it had a fucking bunk bed, like he was a 10 year old. He hated it.
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So he waited and waited for September to come around. He worked two different jobs over the summer, every penny he wasted on clubbing, clothes and buying condoms. Shen never once thought of the upcoming expense of living alone, monthly rent, food, electric/gas, travel costs etc. The University had no dorm rooms left when he applied, so he was in student accommodation about 15 minute bus ride from campus. Although it was a pain in the arse to get there, it was worth it because the student flats had no rules, no one was checking on them, no one would get in their way. His house had a landlady who only asked for two things, her money paid monthly on time and single occupants were not allowed to have anyone move in.
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Seemed pretty awesome at the time.
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All of his former friends were going abroad on holiday with friends or parents in the last weeks running up to starting University, when they found out Shen couldn’t afford to come with them they were ‘so sad’, but he was different to them, the Shen they knew had changed forever. They all went away and he was left alone. He spent a lot of time in his shitty room, reading every book he could get his hands on, he went to the library, if his mind was focused on horror, fantasy and fiction he could blank out everything around him. He read a lot, books were his passion, he demolished genre after genre, he loved the classics ‘The Portrait of Dorian Gray’ was he all time favourite. Oscar Wilde appealed to him.
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Then September enrolment arrived. Something happened and his father had to work away the week he was supposed to start, things got delayed and because of that he arrived at his flat almost 10 days after the scheduled start date. His mother and father chatted and laughed the whole journey in the car, Shen was certain they would be glad to go home and have the house all to themselves. His parents helped him carry all of the stuff they bought him, new bedding, kitchen stuff, college supplies and food (he would buy his college books when he got to University).
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His parents were now in a monetary band where they could apply for grants to pay his fees, they also got an initial living allowance for him. His father was already talking with the landlady giving her this envelope of money.
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“I am going to pay her every two months, the money will be safe with us, if you need your rent just call us.” His father and mother were standing next to their car preparing for the off.
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“Shen I’m going to miss you!” His mother burst into tears and when she went to hug him he stepped back, he could see her face fall. She turned to his father and he hugged her instead.
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“Good luck son.” His father just held out his hand and it stayed there awkwardly empty.
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“Okay.” Shen waved them off, he shut the door to the large townhouse with a relieved sigh, it was like he was finally free! The oppressive feeling he had lived with for a year seemed to melt from his shoulders. Only 18 years old and he felt like he was the shit, this was going to be a piece of piss.
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He spent his first night alone in the one roomed flat, it was called a bedsit. So everything you need was all in one room, chairs to sit on, a large double bed which pulled down from the wall, small partitioned off kitchenette and a separate shower/toilet. The room was large, the townhouse was victorian after all, so his room had hight ceilings, a fireplace with a small electric heater in front of it and enormous bay windows which looked out at onto more student flats. It wasn’t too bad, he cooked some ramen and sat and watched the TV for the rest of the night, sleep wasn’t easy to come by and he took ages to fall asleep.
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Unfortunately this meant he was groggy and not with it when his alarm rang. The landlady had given him details about which bus to get to University and where to walk to. He hurriedly ate a banana, stuffed some new notebooks and his pencil case into his messenger bag and ran to catch the bus.
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When he got to the campus it was fucking enormous! He had the details of which faculty he was in, and a map which was all posted to him prior to coming, but it was overwhelming how big it was, there were a lot of people rushing here and there. He managed to stop a teacher who pointed him in the right direction.
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Shen was taking Finance, his first lesson was accountancy and when he burst into the class he was already 15 minutes late. His lecturer was pissed and started shouting at him.
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“Sit down, don’t ever be late again!” The old man turned away and went back to talking to the whole class.
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Shen quickly went to the back of the class and sat next to a girl wearing glasses, she glared at him. This was not how he envisioned his first day going. Shen was already a whole lesson behind, they were already well into the second lesson, he was struggling to keep up and he had no text books yet. He looked over at the girl beside him and just pulled her ‘Accountancy for Beginners’ book away and got on with writing notes.
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What a bitch. Shen took out his notebook and wrote as much as possible, he was smart he would catch up. When the lesson was over there was a gap until after lunchtime before the next lesson, Spanish designed to teach you how to speak in business situations.
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Everyone in his class got up and headed out, he followed behind the biggest group at a distance, he hoped they were heading for the cafeteria the banana he had for breakfast seemed a long time ago. Thankfully they did go for food, Shen grabbed some stuff and went to pay the lady at the till, but she said “Where is your student ID card? I need to see it if you want to buy food here.”
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Shen just sighed, left everything at the till and walked out. He wandered around for a while, and then eventually got the nerve up to go to the Administration Office. There he was processed, registered, student ID issued and by the time he was finished it was time for his Spanish class. His stomach was growling with hunger.
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Spanish it turned out was really good he enjoyed languages and the lady teaching gave him the notes from the previous lesson and actually asked his name.
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“Shen is it? You can buy all of your text books here.” She circled a building on the campus map he was given. “They also sell second hand books if needed.” She didn’t say it out loud but that was exactly what Shen was hoping for, text books were so expensive, too expensive for his small budget.
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At least one person was kind to him so far.
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His last lesson of the day was Introduction to Financial Law which was a fucking nightmare, it was so excruciatingly boring! While he was losing the will to live he looked around the room at his fellow students. He was learning that everyone who attended his Accountancy class, Spanish and shitty Law class it was all the same people.
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As he was looking around a cute looking lad with curly brown hair caught his gaze, the lad rolled his eyes mournfully, mimicking strangling himself.
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Shen snorted with laughter.
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“Please can everyone pay attention.” The male lecturer didn’t even turn around, he just continued with his droning voice.
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Shen looked over at the lad and smiled waving a little.
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The brown haired boy just grinned and waved back.
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When the lesson finished Shen’s brain was like soup thick and goopy, wow that was a heavy topic, the assignments were going to be a nightmare. Gathering up his stuff, he figured he needed to go and buy books before he went back to his ‘bedsit’.
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As he was about to leaving the classroom, the boy from earlier came up to him.
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“Hey!”
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“Hey.”
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“Your name is Shen right? Must be weird starting school after everyone else.” The lad had the bluest eyes he had ever seen.
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Shen just laughed “Yeah, it’s been a tense first day. What’s your name?”
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“Bailey.”
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“Hi Bailey, please be my friend? I need someone on my side in this shit hole.” Shen was not shy, the last year had taught him that he no longer gave a shit, which made it easy to communicate with people.
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Bailey burst out laughing.
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“Come on, I have a months supply of ramen I can give you…?”
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“It’s okay, I will be your friend but keep the ramen I get all my meals in with my dormitory.” Bailey went to put his hand on Shen’s shoulder and it made him recoil away.
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“Sorry.” Bailey held up his hands like it was okay if Shen didn’t want to be touched. “We are all going to a bar, wanna tag along?”
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“Shit I’d love to go, I have to go and buy all of my books, if I turn up tomorrow with no textbooks my life won’t be worth living, if today is anything to go by.” Shen was genuinely bummed that he couldn’t go because he wanted to be included in social stuff like that.
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“Its okay, I think Friday night is our next planned night out, can you come to that?
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“Yeah count me in!” Shen smiled and waved at Bailey who turned to leave.
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“Hey Bailey!” Shen shouted suddenly.
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“Yeah?”
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“Is everyone on our classes in the dorms?”
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“Yup, everyone is.”
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“Okay, see you.” Shen waved and as soon as Bailey was out of sight, he cursed out loud “Shit!” Typical he was the only one in the Finance first years to live off campus! Living off campus was going to be a pain in the arse.
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So while everyone else left to go and party, he had to go to the book shop and buy as many books as he could carry home on the bus. When he got to his front door he was nearly faint with hunger, the textbooks were so damn heavy it felt like his shoulders were falling off.
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He dumped everything on the floor once he got into his flat, he staggered over to the kitchen and quickly poured himself a glass of water and gulped it down in 10 seconds flat, he poured another and another. It was only his first day and he already felt like giving up. If he was at home his mother would have dinner on the table for him…..he looked around at the empty room and sighed, maybe parents were good for one thing.
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Even though he should start studying to catch up, his stomach was eating itself with hunger. His mother had packed some precooked meals which she had made into his small fridge, there were four of them. Shen fished one out and nuked it in the microwave, when the microwave chimed he got his meal out and sat on the carpet in front of the TV, it was very old, the picture of crap but it was something to ease the quietness.
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He was in the middle of his meal when all of the lights went off, so did the TV.
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“Fuck what now…” Shen just groaned it was the perfect end to a crap day.
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Turns out you have to feed this special metre with money, specific coins, to get more electricity/gas. His landlady told him this at 8pm, when she was showing him what to do.
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“In future always keep a stack of coins next to the metre to keep it going, otherwise you will be sitting in the dark.” She never said much, just the facts, but Shen would rather she wasn’t a gossipy old lady trying to nose into his life.
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Lesson learned lights, heat and TV they weren’t free, always remember that nothing is free when you leave home.
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After food he stored his new books in the bookshelf next to the bed, he read through the notes on the lessons he had missed, and tried to get a head start on the lessons the next day. It was 1am when he crawled into his bed with just his boxers on. Shen looked around the dark room and this strange anxiety filled him, he was never normally alone, between his mum, friends and people he picked up at bars he normally surrounded himself with a wall of people. Also this was probably the longest he had ever gone without a drink of alcohol since he was 15 years old, drinking had kind of become his balm, his way of separating the shitty world and living in a dreamy one instead.
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Why was he lying here looking up at the ceiling and craving a drink? There was literally nothing here which could harm him, but that overwhelming feeling of his past and everything which happened to him came out of nowhere and he could barely breath his chest was so tight. It was like an invisible elephant came and sat on him, it was so scary it made a tear run down his temple. He could hear his gasping breaths in the room, and tried to slow them down, trying with all of his might to just calm down and breath, get air into his lungs.
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Breath Shen.
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After what seemed like an eternity air rushed back into his lungs and he sobbed quietly it felt so good. Shen lay back on is bed and closed his eyes, he wanted to go to sleep so badly, he was exhausted.
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The next day early in the morning his landlady knocked and she said he had a phone call.
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“Yes?”
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“Shen! How are you? How was your first day, did you meet any new friends?”
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“Mum?”
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“We’re here, your father and I.”
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“I’m okay.”
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“But your landlady said she heard you crying last night, are you okay?”
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“Just watching a sad movie.”
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“Okay, here is your father!”
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“Chen, good luck on your second day.”
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“Hmm.”
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“….”
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“Listen I have to go and get showered for Uni, I will speak to you later.”
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Shen hung up. His look toward the landlady spoke a 1000 words.
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“They said to call them if I was worried.”
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“I’m fine.”
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“Okay, have a good day son.”
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“Thank you.”
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Shen smiled inwardly because there was someone here who cared if he lived or died.
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Lesson Twelve - Prepare for college/university life by learning how to cook it could save you a lot of money
Lesson Thirteen - Read a lot people, it will help prepare for writing college/university level grammar and vocabulary
Lesson Fourteen - Electricity isn’t free, neither are water or food. Got parents willing to pay? Great. Got no-one? Get a job or two.
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