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I was Listening to Slow Dancing In The Dark by Joji while writing this. I decided to write this from a girl's POV after her ex contacted her after 3 years. Some thoughts are my own thoughts, and some of this is true, besides the part about her ex. I am sorry if people have gone through this, I know it hurts, but I wanted to acknowledge the people who are out there and still hurting. It never goes away, but you will make room for it. (This is purely fictional and written by my own hands.) 262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmzd57d0By
262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8CEho5hDJ
It doesn’t necessarily bother me, but it’s also hard for me to not get happy over the little things. Just joking around and being friends is amazing, I’d love that even in a relationship. But when it comes to you, it’s hard to see you as just a friend. I openly joke and talk about you, with you, but it’s not the same. I think it’s fun to tease and joke around with you, but can someone come and stop me from smiling? Even when I’m being annoying you put up with it. When I asked you to do talk to me you still did it even when you were doing something, how can I not feel happy? It seems dumb to be writing this because only stupid people write about how they feel. And here I am, being stupid, even I know it. Is there a way I can just stop acting like this? Is it even worth wasting my breath over? Can I stop being lost in a dream?
It’s all getting harder and harder to focus. My patience is wearing thinner each second. The doors are open but I can’t bring myself to step out of them… My focus is blurring and my eyes water, why am I here again? Pain makes one stronger, but if so, why am I only growing weaker? I look at you and you look as if you don’t feel anything, you even stated that you don’t even remember why you left. You think that would console me, but it makes me feel like I’m less of a person than I should be. Waves crash down at my ankles and it becomes harder and harder to raise my self-worth, is there a point in trying? Even if I do love myself, does that mean I need to know my self-worth, do I need to think that I am worth something to love myself? Loving yourself is loving the things about yourself, accepting the things others wouldn’t that make you, well, you. It never states that loving yourself means you need to have acknowledged your self-worth.
My eyes are brimmed with tears as I sit in the cold as it rains staring at the sky. Can I move on at a time like this? Last year it was easier to believe that I could do it when I had people to distract me. Now… I’m alone and surrounded by the only person I turn to. You… I’ve been asked out and confessed to but it gets harder and harder to tell people the reason I can’t date them. Isn’t it a little stupid for a girl to be so heartbroken 3 years after a breakup? Is it right for me to just lie and say I don’t want a relationship even though I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m still here waiting for you to come back for some reason? The rain pours down my body soaking my clothes, but I don’t feel a thing. I keep replaying these colorful memories of us even as it’s dark and raining, my favorite type of weather. Yet here I am, crying like it’s the last day I’ll live...262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpExsNq7iEy
